Namba City
July 17th, 2024.
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The morning sun filtered through the trees lining the bustling streets of Namba City, casting dappled patterns on the asphalt as Mina Akiyama revved the engine of her motorcycle. She took a deep breath, feeling the crisp air fill her lungs. Today was supposed to be different; she had promised herself that she would arrive on time.
But here I am again, she thought, glancing at her watch, which glared back at her with the unforgiving digits: 9:00 AM. She had already lost track of time, and the familiar knot of anxiety twisted in her stomach.
With a quick twist of the throttle, she sped off, her heart racing not just from the adrenaline of the ride but from the fear of what awaited her at the pharmacy. The streets blurred around her, the rush of wind a welcome distraction from her thoughts. She focused on the road ahead, but the nagging voice in her mind echoed relentlessly: You're going to get in trouble again.
The motorcycle hummed beneath her, a comforting reminder of her independence. But even that comfort began to fade as she pulled into the parking lot of Outlet 05. With a final deep breath, she parked, her heart sinking further as she saw her co-workers bustling around inside, their faces a mixture of concentration and frustration.
It's just 15 minutes, she tried to reassure herself, but as she stepped through the sliding doors, the atmosphere shifted. The pharmacy was alive with the sounds of ringing phones and chatter, but there was an undercurrent of tension that made her feel small.
"Good morning, Mina," one of her colleagues said, their tone light but their eyes darting away, avoiding the conversation she knew was inevitable.
"Mina, you're late again," Tomoyo Kurosawa's voice cut through the noise like a sharp blade. Tomoyo was her senpai, someone who had been at Hitomi Pharmacy for over ten years, and her presence commanded respect. She stood behind the counter, arms crossed, disappointment etched on her face. "You know we can't keep doing this."
Mina's stomach dropped. "I'm sorry, Senpai. I… I lost track of time." The words felt inadequate even as she spoke them, a flimsy excuse for a pattern she had fallen into.
Tomoyo's brow furrowed. "You always say that. You say yes to everything but never follow through. Your performance has been slipping, and it's affecting the team. Do you even care about your job anymore?"
Each word struck her like a blow. Mina felt her cheeks flush as she struggled to maintain eye contact. "I do care," she insisted, but her voice wavered, betraying the storm of emotions brewing within her. The weight of Tomoyo's gaze made her feel vulnerable, and for a brief moment, she could see her reflection in the older woman's disappointment.
"I'm sorry. I'll do better," she promised, but deep down, she felt like she was making a promise she might not be able to keep.
As she moved to her station, her mind was a whirlwind. The familiar hum of the pharmacy faded into the background. What if I can't do better? she thought. What if I'm just not cut out for this?
Her heart raced with uncertainty, but she pushed herself to focus on her tasks. The shelves needed organizing, the customers needed assistance, and her job depended on it. With each passing moment, she tried to drown out the self-doubt, channeling her energy into her work.
But as she reached for a box of medication on the top shelf, a sudden wave of anxiety washed over her. She paused, breathing deeply, the chaos of her thoughts threatening to spill over. This isn't just about being late. It's about everything—my job, my mental health, my relationships.
Why does everything feel so heavy?
The clock ticked on, and as the morning wore on, she felt the pressure mounting. I have to change, she resolved, but as she glanced at the other employees working diligently around her, doubt crept back in. What if I can't? What if I'm just a disappointment?
With her heart pounding, she forced herself to push through, her resolve battling against the tides of her emotions. At that moment, she realized that today was just another step in her journey—one that felt heavier than the last, but still one she needed to take.
The bustling pharmacy hummed with life, the sounds of ringing phones and friendly chatter surrounding Mina as she attempted to immerse herself in her work. She meticulously organized the shelves, aligning boxes and adjusting labels, but the weight of Tomoyo's earlier words lingered in her mind. Each item she placed felt like a small victory, but the fear of inadequacy gnawed at her insides.
"Mina!" called a familiar voice, pulling her from her thoughts. It was Tomoyo again, her expression more serious this time. "Can you come here for a moment?"
Mina's stomach twisted as she approached the counter, where Tomoyo was waiting with an intensity that made her heart race. What now? she wondered, dread pooling in her chest.
"Let's have a chat," Tomoyo said, her tone firm yet devoid of hostility. She gestured for Mina to follow her into the break room, away from the prying eyes of the other employees.
The break room was a small, cluttered space, filled with half-empty coffee cups and a couple of worn-out chairs. The walls were adorned with cheerful posters about health and wellness, yet the atmosphere felt heavy with unspoken tension. Mina shifted nervously, glancing at the floor as Tomoyo closed the door behind them.
"Sit down," Tomoyo instructed, and Mina complied, the chair creaking beneath her. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears, the silence stretching between them.
"Look," Tomoyo began, her expression softening slightly. "I know you're going through a lot right now, and I want you to know that I'm here to help. But I can't keep ignoring this pattern of yours."
Mina nodded, her throat dry. "I understand. I'm trying. I really am."
Tomoyo crossed her arms, her gaze unwavering. "But are you? You say you want to improve, yet your performance is slipping. You need to take responsibility for your actions. I can't do this for you."
I know, I know, Mina thought, frustration bubbling beneath her surface. "I don't want to let you down," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's just… it's hard sometimes. I'm trying to manage it, but some days are just tougher than others."
Tomoyo's expression softened further, and for a moment, Mina saw the concern in her eyes. "I get that, but we all have challenges. I've been here for over ten years, and I've had my share of struggles too. You can't let it control you. You need to find a way to work through it."
Tomoyo leaned forward, her voice lowering. "You need to start believing in yourself."
"Okay, I'll try," she said finally, though uncertainty laced her words.
"Now go finish your shift," Tomoyo said, standing up. "And remember, I'm here if you need to talk."
As Mina left the break room, she felt lighter, even if just a little. Tomoyo's encouragement had sparked a small flame of hope within her. Maybe she could find a way to regain control within herself amid the chaos of life.
The hours dragged on as Mina immersed herself in her work, the bustle of the pharmacy serving as a comforting backdrop against her swirling thoughts. Customers came and went, and with each transaction, she tried to focus on the task at hand.
"Hey, Mina!" one of her colleagues called out, snapping her out of her reverie. It was Aiko, a bubbly pharmacy technician with an infectious laugh. "Can you help me restock the pain relief section?"
"Sure!" Mina replied, forcing a smile. She appreciated Aiko's cheerful demeanor; it was a welcome distraction. As they worked side by side, Aiko chatted about her weekend plans, her excitement palpable. Mina found herself nodding and smiling, but the conversation felt distant, like she was watching it unfold through a foggy glass.
Just as Aiko finished stacking the last few boxes, the phone at the front desk rang, and Mina instinctively knew it was for her.
"Mina, it's HRD," Aiko called out, glancing at her with a sympathetic look. "You better take it."
Taking a deep breath, Mina made her way to the desk, her palms sweating slightly. She picked up the receiver, her heart racing. "Outlet 05 Saguryo Medical Center, Mina here. How can I help you?"
"It's me, Maeda from the Business Unit Office. Please meet me at 2 PM today, I have something important to discuss," said Mr. Maeda.
"Y-Yes, of course," Mina replied. The receiver goes off but she just looks away spacing out.
Mina took a deep breath. "Great. As I expected," she muttered to herself, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. She needed to deliver supplies to other outlets as tasked by Tomoyo-senpai, so she made a mental note to sort that out before heading to the meeting.
At 2 PM, after gathering the necessary items and navigating through the city's bustling streets, Mina finally arrived at the business unit's office. It took nearly 30 minutes to make the journey from the outlet, and she was slightly winded as she entered the office.
"Good afternoon, Maeda-san," she said, placing the items on the appropriate shelves.
"Take a seat, Mina," Mr. Maeda said, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. His expression was serious, and Mina felt a knot tightening in her stomach.
After a few moments of silence, Mr. Maeda leaned forward. "I want to discuss your contract. As part of the company's decision to reduce the number of employees, your contract will end on August 31st, 2024. You have one month left with us."
Mina blinked, processing the news. "Okay," she said, though her heart felt heavy. She had known this day might come, especially with the company's recent changes. "I understand. There's not much I can do about it, is there?"
"No, there isn't," Mr. Maeda replied, his voice calm but firm. "I appreciate your hard work during your time here. I'm sorry it has to end this way."
Mina nodded, feeling strangely detached from the situation. "Thank you, Maeda-san."
"I know this is difficult to hear," Mr. Maeda continued, his tone sympathetic. "But please understand that this is a company-wide decision. We value you and your contributions, but we must adhere to the new policies."
Mina nodded, though inside, her heart was racing. "I… I see," she managed, forcing the words past her lips.
"I want you to know that this doesn't define your worth," he said, his voice steady. "You're a talented individual, and I have no doubt that you'll find a place where you can truly thrive."
"Thank you," Mina replied, her voice thick with emotion.
"Use this time wisely," Mr. Maeda continued, looking at her earnestly. "Consider what you want to do next and take advantage of any resources available. The company is willing to help with job placement and recommendations."
Mina nodded again, though she felt lost. "I appreciate that. I'll do my best."
"Thank you for your understanding, Mina. I wish you all the best," Mr. Maeda said, standing as well.
Mina forced a smile, her mind racing as she walked out of the office. What now? The question loomed large, suffocating her as she stepped back into the vibrant chaos of the pharmacy.
Outside, the world felt the same—bustling and indifferent to her personal turmoil. She leaned against the wall for a moment, taking deep breaths as she fought against the tears threatening to spill over. The realization hit her hard: she had one month left at a place she had poured herself into, and the thought of losing her job, her routine, and the little stability she had felt like a punch to the gut.
Mina reached for her phone, her mind racing. I need to talk to him. Desperate for support, she decided to call her boyfriend. Maybe he could help her make sense of it all.
As she dialed his number, hope flickered within her, but the anxiety still loomed over her like a dark cloud. I just need to hear his voice, she thought, clinging to the hope that he would provide some comfort amid her uncertainty.
Mina took a deep breath, her heart racing as she waited for the call to connect. She paced slightly in the parking lot, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts. The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the pharmacy, but it felt like a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside her. The ringing continued, echoing her unease.
Come on, pick up, she silently urged. After what felt like an eternity, the call finally connected.
"Hello?" His voice came through, casual yet distant.
"Hey, it's me," Mina said, trying to keep her tone light, despite the heavy weight on her chest. "I just wanted to update you on my work situation."
"What's up?" he replied
Mina paused, glancing around at the busy parking lot filled with cars. "I just finished a meeting with Maeda-san. He told me… my contract ends in August. I only have one month left."
Her boyfriend works as sales promotion staff in another outlet of Hitomi Pharmacy outside Namba City.
The silence on the other end felt deafening, and Mina's heart sank. She could almost feel the distance growing between them. "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," he finally said, his voice more subdued than before. "What happened?"
"They're downsizing the department," Mina explained, her words tumbling out. "It's not just me. It's a company-wide decision."
"Yeah, I am sorry to hear that," he replied, and Mina could sense the hesitance in his voice. "But hey, maybe this is a chance for you to explore something new? You could find a job that you really like. You're talented, Mina. You'll figure it out. You always do."
The reassurance was there, but it felt hollow. She remembered back then when she went to the mental hospital a week ago….
"My family isn't thrilled about us. I just... I don't know if I can handle this moving forward."
Those words which hit her like a slap in the face, leaving her reeling back then. "We can fix things up. As time goes on." She tried to reassure him back then.
"But I don't know," he replied, exasperated. "It's just my gut instinct."
As she remembered all of that, she knew that her relationship with him was starting to become more distant. Even if she tried to hang on to hope. Standing alone in the parking lot, She spaced out wandering all these things.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm within her, but the realization that she might lose not just her job but the person she thought she could rely on felt like a crushing weight on her chest. The world continued to spin, but in that moment, she felt utterly lost, as if she were floating in a vast ocean without a lifeline.
Mina, she thought to herself, You have to keep going. You have to find a way through this.
But the path forward felt obscured, tangled in confusion and fear. She longed for clarity, for someone to tell her it would be okay, but all she had was her own resolve, frayed and trembling.
Mina returned home, the familiar surroundings of her small house feeling strangely alien. The sunlight had waned, leaving the world outside drenched in hues of purple and blue as twilight settled in. She dropped her keys on the table with a clatter that echoed in the silence, a stark reminder that she was alone.
Her room felt suffocating, each corner a reminder of her current reality. She tossed her bag onto the bed, the soft thud of it landing breaking the stillness. It was too quiet, and the silence amplified her thoughts, her fears swirling in a chaotic dance. She sank onto the bed, the blankets enveloping her like a cocoon, but it offered no comfort. Instead, the weight of everything pressed down on her, suffocating.
What now? she thought, her mind racing. I have one month left—what will I do after that?
Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation with her boyfriend back in the mental hospital. Was he just looking for an excuse to leave? The doubt gnawed at her insides, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was unwanted, that she was a burden.
Mina pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as if that could protect her from the emotional storm raging inside. She took a deep breath, trying to center herself, but it felt futile. The anxiety crept back in, a familiar presence she had learned to live with but never quite conquered.
She picked up her phone, hesitating as she looked at the screen. Should I reach out to him again? But what would she say? The thought of sending another message felt heavy, each keystroke a reminder of her vulnerability. She opened their chat, the last message hanging there like a ghost, haunting her.
Blocked.
The realization hit her like a punch to the gut. The finality of it was crushing. The little bubble of hope she had clung to burst, leaving her feeling hollow. How could he just block me?
With trembling hands, she put the phone down and lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The weight of her emotions threatened to crush her. Why did I let myself get so close to him? she pondered. Why did I think I could have someone who would stand by me?
Mina closed her eyes, trying to shut out the thoughts that spiraled through her mind. Memories of the past week flooded in: the moments of laughter, the gentle touches, the sweet nothings whispered in her ear. But those memories were now tainted by the reality of her situation.
I'm just a mess, she thought bitterly, I'm broken.
The night stretched on, each passing minute feeling like an eternity. She tried to distract herself with music, scrolling through her playlists until she found a familiar song that once brought her comfort. The soulful melody washed over her, but it only reminded her of happier times, of moments when she felt whole.
Am I ever going to be okay? The thought echoed in her mind. It felt like a question without an answer.
She scrolled through her social media, half-expecting to see something that would lift her spirits. But instead, her feed was filled with happy couples, friends celebrating life, and posts that made her feel even more isolated. She tossed her phone aside, the clatter resonating in the quiet room.
Why is everyone else moving forward while I'm stuck here? she thought bitterly.
Hours passed. She tried to close her eyes and drift off to sleep, but every time she did, her mind raced with thoughts of her job loss, her failed relationship, and the gnawing feeling of inadequacy that never seemed to leave her.
Frustrated, she finally sat up and opened her laptop, thinking maybe a distraction would help. She clicked on a random video about coping with anxiety, hoping to find some solace in the shared experiences of others.
They don't get it, she thought. She doesn't find comfort.
The video ended,
With that thought, she finally closed her laptop, the glow of the screen fading as she leaned back on the couch. The darkness still lingered, yet she still hoped. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe tomorrow, she could take another step toward healing.
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