Location: UNSC Forward Base - Debriefing Room
Date: May 12, 2534
Time: 1130 Hours
The debriefing room was as cold and sterile as ever. The overhead lights hummed, casting sharp shadows across the table as we sat in silence. The mission had been a success—at least, that's what the brass would say. We had cleared the Covenant out of the outpost, disrupted their operations on the colony. On paper, it was a win.
But none of it felt like winning.
Doss stood at the front of the room, his arms crossed, his face unreadable as always. He was running through the post-mission report, but I barely heard him. My thoughts were miles away, drifting back to the faces of the rookies who had been with me during the mission, the faces of the ones who didn't make it back.
"Sergeant Casper," Doss said, his voice cutting through the haze in my mind. "Your fireteam performed admirably under fire. I expect the same going forward."
I nodded, not really knowing what else to say. Admirably. That was the word they used. It didn't mean anything. It didn't bring back the dead.
"Get some rest. We'll be redeploying soon," Doss added, signaling that the debrief was over.
The squad filed out of the room, and I followed, moving on autopilot. My body was here, but my mind was somewhere else—back on the battlefield, back with the ghosts of the people we'd lost. I could feel the weight of each step, the heaviness in my chest growing with every mission.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep this up.
Location: UNSC Forward Base - Barracks
Date: May 12, 2534
Time: 1300 Hours
I sat on the edge of my bunk, my rifle resting against the wall, my hands clasped together in my lap. The barracks were quiet—most of the squad was resting or catching up on their gear maintenance, but I couldn't sleep. Couldn't rest. My mind was too full, too heavy with thoughts that wouldn't settle.
Across the room, Alice was adjusting her armor, her movements calm and deliberate. She had always been steady, a rock for the team. I envied her ability to keep it together, even when everything around us was falling apart.
"You alright?" she asked, her voice soft but firm.
I glanced up, meeting her gaze. There was concern in her eyes, but also something else—something that told me she knew exactly what I was feeling.
"Yeah," I lied, though we both knew it wasn't true. "Just… tired."
She came over and sat beside me, her helmet tucked under her arm. For a moment, we didn't say anything, just sat there in the silence of the barracks, the weight of the war hanging between us.
"You've been through a lot, Cass," she said quietly. "More than most."
I didn't respond right away, the words catching in my throat. She wasn't wrong. I'd lost more than I cared to count—friends, fireteam members, Sam. The losses had piled up, one after another, until I wasn't sure if there was anything left to lose.
"I don't know how much longer I can do this," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Alice was silent for a moment, her eyes searching mine. "None of us do. But we keep going because that's the only choice we've got."
I nodded, knowing she was right. The war didn't stop for anyone. It didn't care how tired or broken we were. It just kept going.
"You're a good leader, Cass," she added, her voice softer now. "Don't forget that."
I looked at her, the sincerity in her words hitting me harder than I expected. Alice wasn't the kind of person to say things she didn't mean, and hearing her say that—it mattered.
"Thanks," I muttered, trying to muster a smile.
She stood up, adjusting her armor one last time before heading for the door. "Get some rest. You're going to need it."
I watched her leave, the weight of her words settling over me. I wanted to believe her—that I was still a good leader, that I could still make a difference. But the truth was, I wasn't sure if I believed it anymore.
Location: UNSC Forward Base - Observation Deck
Date: May 12, 2534
Time: 2000 Hours
The observation deck was empty when I arrived, the quiet hum of the base the only sound. Outside, the stars were barely visible through the thick atmosphere of the planet, but I could still see the faint glimmer of distant worlds far beyond our reach.
I leaned against the railing, my eyes scanning the horizon as my thoughts drifted. The war had become so much bigger than I ever imagined—bigger than any of us. We were just small pieces in a much larger machine, fighting a battle that seemed endless.
I thought about Sam—about the life we'd planned, about the future that had been stolen from us. The ache in my chest hadn't dulled, even after all this time. It still felt fresh, raw. Like a wound that refused to heal.
And then there was the daughter I'd never met. The girl who was out there somewhere, growing up without a father. Without Sam. I wondered what she looked like. If she'd ever ask about me. If she'd ever know the kind of people her parents were.
I wasn't sure if I wanted her to know.
The door behind me slid open, and I turned to see Alice stepping onto the deck. She didn't say anything, just walked over to stand beside me, her eyes fixed on the stars.
"You come up here to think too?" she asked, her tone light but understanding.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak just yet.
We stood in silence for a long moment, the weight of everything between us. Alice had been there for me when I needed her most, and I wasn't sure if she even knew how much that meant. She had become my anchor in a world that felt like it was slipping away.
"You're not alone, Cass," she said softly, breaking the silence. "I know it feels like you are sometimes, but you're not."
I swallowed hard, the emotion tightening in my throat. "I know."
She didn't push me, didn't try to force me to talk. She just stood there, solid and steady, her presence enough to keep me grounded.
"I miss her," I admitted after a long pause, my voice barely above a whisper.
Alice didn't say anything, but I knew she understood. She had seen the pain I carried, had watched me struggle to keep it buried. And she had never judged me for it. Never made me feel weak because of it.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn't carrying it alone.
Location: UNSC Forward Base - Briefing Room
Date: May 13, 2534
Time: 0600 Hours
The next morning, the squad gathered in the briefing room, ready for the next mission. The tension in the room was palpable—another deployment, another battle. The cycle never stopped.
Doss stood at the front, as usual, outlining the objectives, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about the conversation I'd had with Alice the night before, about the weight we were both carrying. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face another mission, but I didn't have a choice.
We never had a choice.
"Cass," Doss called out, snapping me back to the present. "You and Alice will lead the fireteams on this one. Standard search-and-destroy. Get in, hit the target, get out."
I nodded, my resolve hardening. Whatever doubts I had, whatever pain I was still holding on to—it would have to wait. There was a mission to complete. And I would see it through.
Just like I always did.