ANTEA
It had been five days since it happened. Five days since her sweet little brother fell from that tower. For five days, Antea had been taking care of her mother, who didn't want to leave Bran's side.
Everyone was sad in the castle, and even though it was full of people, Winterfell seemed so quiet. Antea started to cry the moment her father first saw Bran lying in bed; before that, she had just held her mother tightly.
Catelyn's screams still echoed in Antea's ears, and at night, she had trouble sleeping. She had never seen her mother so desperate, and it broke her heart to see her like that. She was so different from the woman Antea had grown up with. Not that Antea blamed her, but everything felt different—quieter and sadder. Everyone was wondering why it had to happen.
Because of what had happened, the King let Ned stay some more days in the North. Antea still couldn't believe her father wanted to leave after Bran's fall; now more than ever, they should have stayed together.
Antea was in the kitchen to take some honey and water to feed Bran. It was the only thing they could make him eat to not let him starve. Her mother fed him; she didn't want anyone else to do it, but she hadn't come out from that chamber once, not even to eat. So, Antea was the one who brought her some food every time she went to see Bran.
"My lady," she turned from the plate she was preparing to see Theon Greyjoy standing at the kitchen's entrance.
"Good morrow, Theon," she forced a little smile before turning to look back at the plate. She could hear him stepping closer until he was standing next to her. Antea looked at him from the corner of her grey eyes; they hadn't talked for days now. She hadn't talked much in the past days, and there wasn't anything that could have lighted up her mood.
"How are you feeling?" At his question she looked up at him, he was shaking his head, with his eyes closed.
"You didn't ask a stupid question," she spoke softly, pouring some milk into a glass for her mother. "I have been better." She took an apple and put it in his hand. He always ate at least an apple to break his fast. He smiled at her muttering a thank you, then she took the plate in her hands before heading out.
"Antea, wait." When she turned, she saw Theon walking towards her. "Let me accompany you," he said. "I can hold the plate for you." She looked at the plate in her hands, not that it was heavy, but she really didn't want to stay alone. So, she nodded, watching the young man take what she was holding.
They walked in silence followed by Shadow, who in the past few days shown up more to take Antea company. She was growing up so fast, like her brothers and sisters. Like Bran's direwolf who still hadn't a name. She turned her face away from Theon when she felt her eyes watering. Nobody was sure Bran would ever wake up and her body shook at that thought.
What if he wouldn't wake up? Her sweet little brother was just seven.
"Do you think he will ever wake up?" She asked suddenly as they walked.
She didn't even know why she asked, but she didn't want silence. She could not take silence anymore. Winterfell had always been joyful, full of love and laughter. It didn't feel like her home anymore.
"Yes, I do," she knew he would have said that. Everyone said that even if Antea was sure, not all of them really thought that. Maybe they all just wanted to avoid making things worse for the Starks. But if that was the case, Antea wished for them to be honest and tell what was really on their minds.
"Antea," Theon took her arm gently, making her stop, "He made it so far. He could have died, but he didn't. He'll wake."
She looked into his eyes and studied them, searching for any sort of lie, but there wasn't. They were honest and shining but differently than usual.
"Good day, my lady," at the new voice, Antea and Theon step away from each other. Turning her gaze, she saw lord Tyrion Lannister a few steps away from them.
"Lord Tyrion," she said, bowing her head, and Theon did the same. Shadow turned and started to study the man with her golden eyes.
"I just wanted to say how sorry I am for little Brandon," he said, stepping closer to Antea. But Shadow suddenly appeared between the two. The man looked at the direwolf with surprise, maybe because it was the first time he had seen Shadow, Antea thought.
"My prayers are for him," lord Tyrion looked at Antea again. For the girl the lord of Lannister didn't seem a man who prayed much, but if he was speaking the truth then Antea was glad. He was being kind to her, the least she could do was smiling gently at him.
"Thank you, my lord. Your words are very truly appreciated," she answered. Shadow growled when the little lord made another step. Antea looked at her direwolf. Shadow was always so quiet, she had never been aggressive, but probably she was nervous because of what Antea was feeling those days.
"Shadow, stop," she said, patting her pup on the head, but Shadow kept looking at lord Tyrion.
"No need, no need," he said waving his hand nervously, "I must go back to my chambers, getting my stuff ready for when we'll be leaving. Good day, my lady." She bowed her head watching lord Tyrion walking between her and Theon, with Shadow following him with her studying eyes.
"It seems that Shadow doesn't like the little Lannister," Theon said bitterly. Antea could tell he didn't like lord Tyrion either.
She had noticed how Theon glanced at the man, who didn't even speak a world to him and she hadn't appreciated that. She was aware of the sharp tongue Tyrion Lannister had proven to have, but at the same time, he had always been nice to her and her family.
"You've caught the Lannister's eyes, my lady," Theon said with a glare toward the direction where lord Tyrion had disappeared.
"That's none of my concern at the moment." Antea shook her head. She didn't want to think about Lord Tyrion; her mind was focused on her family.
Theon walked Antea to Bran's chamber. When they stopped, they heard Bran's direwolf howling outside the window. He was always howling, day and night like he was saying his prayers for Bran. Sometimes, even the other direwolves sang with him. Bran's direwolf couldn't stay in the chamber; none of them could, and Lady Catelyn didn't want it.
"Theon," she said, looking up from Shadow to the Greyjoy boy. "Can you please take Shadow back into my chamber?"
"Of course," he said, but when they looked down, Shadow wasn't there anymore.
"Where is she?" He asked to himself looking around, Antea took a breath thinking about her direwolf. She should have thougth about that, Shadow didn't like to be separated from Antea for too long.
"She is here somewhere, don't worry," she said, taking the plate from Theon's hand. "Thank you for walking with me; I really didn't want to be alone," he smiled, bowing his head.
"Anytime, my lady," she smiled at him, watching him walk away, probably to find Robb.
Then Antea knocked on the door, but no answer was given. She decided to enter the chamber anyway. She was sure her mother wasn't asleep. She never slept anymore.
The chamber was dark, the sun wasn't shining outside of Winterfell. Her mother was sitting next to the bed, her hair messy, her eyes tired and red, for the many tears she had cried. She was alone and watching Bran. Antea shivered looking at her always happy brother. He was pale and he was getting thinner and thinner every day, for the lack of eating. His eyes were open, looking at the ceiling in front of him without life in them. They could tell he was still alive, just because his chest rose for his breathing.
Antea could see the shape of his legs even from the door. They were broken and you could tell just looking at them. Maester Luwin said that even if he would wake, he wouldn't be able to walk again. Antea couldn't believe it when she heard those words leaving the Maester's mouth. If he couldn't walk, what would have happened to her brother?
Robb once told her that he had heard Lanninsters's guard talking about how it would have been merciful to let Bran die. He was so furious and so was she. Her little brother couldn't die, he could not leave them there without his laughs echoing through the castle.
"I brought you some food, Mother," Antea said, stepping forward into the room.
"Did you bring water and honey?" Her mother didn't even look at her; she was used to it now. Antea was spending more time with her mother now; she didn't want to leave her alone. Now, she understood even more why Cyel hadn't gone to Dorne since Lady Phelya got ill.
"Of course," Antea answered, putting down the plate next to the bed and then sitting down, watching her mother closely. You should eat something." Lady Catelyn had taken the honey in her hands, mixed it with a spoon, and prepared it for Bran.
"Later," she muttered, focused on what she was doing.
"You always say that," Antea said timidly, getting closer to her mother. "I can feed him today. I know how to do it. I've watched you," but when she reached for the honey, her mother took it away from her grip.
"No, I'll do it," she whispered, "Please, let me do it."
Antea's eyes watered again hearing her mother's crack voice. The girl closed her eyes to fight the tears that wanted to come out. She couldn't cry, her mother would have felt worst.
"As you wish," she said after a moment of silence. "Just… Just please eat something later." Her mother looked at her from the corner of her eyes, and then she nodded silently.
Antea stayed at her mother's side, watching her feed Bran and whisper to him. She felt relieved when her mother started to eat. She didn't eat all of what she had brought, but Antea felt better nonetheless.
Suddenly she heard a knock, but her mother didn't say anything, so Antea spoke, "Come in."
When the wooden door opened, her father entered the room. Antea noticed how much pain was in his eyes looking at his child and his wife.
"Antea, can you leave us alone, please?" Her father asked kindly. Antea looked at her mother, before standing up. Ned put his arm around her giving her a kiss on the forehead.
"Thank you for how much you are doing," he said, looking into her eyes, "I need to speak to you, but it can wait. I'll look for you later" Antea frowned at his words, she really couldn't imagine what her father wanted to tell her "Now go, Rickon was looking for you."
"Yes father" she said before exiting the chamber. She closed the door behind her wanting to give her parents a moment alone. Antea looked down when she felt a warm fur nuzzling on her leg.
"Here you are," she said, petting Shadow's head. "Come on, let's go find Rickon and Shaggy."
Antea spent the morning with Arya and Rickon; both clung tight at her side. Not far from them, their direwolves were doing the same thing. Rickon knew that something bad had happened, but he didn't understand completely. Arya, on the other hand, was worried and angry, and when she felt like that, she always needed a hug.
"Is Mother going to be alright?" Arya muttered against Antea's shoulder.
"Mother is sick like Bran?" Rickon exclaimed urgently. Antea moved his hair from his forehead.
"No, little one," she said before turning to Arya. "She will be alright; she is just waiting for Bran to wake up." Arya nodded against Antea; it was impossible to think how sad they all were.
"Where's Cyel?" Rickon asked. Cyel stayed more in her chamber lately and when she spent time with the Starks, she tried to be the same Cyel they all know, but something has changed in her. Jon told Antea that Cyel felt responsible for what had happened to Bran. The Stark girl tried to talk to her, but Cyel didn't seem to believe her words. How could it be her fault? It was an accident, no one blamed her.
"I think she is with her lady mother," Antea said, looking at the direwolves, who were all close to each other.
"Or maybe with Bran," Arya could have been right; Cyel always pays a visit to Bran. Every day, same hour. Not more. She didn't want to bother Lady Catelyn, even if Antea didn't think her mother would have even noticed.
The noise of steps on the grass made them look up and see their father walking towards them. His fur cloak was tight around his neck, protecting him from the cool summer wind.
"Father!" Rickon exclaimed running to Ned, the men took his child in his arms with a small laugh. Antea and Arya still clung to each other, watching their father talk with his youngest child. Then he put him down and moved towards them.
"Children, can I have a moment with your sister?" Arya puffed at their father's question.
"Can't you sit here with us and tell her?" she asked, pleading with her father. "And then maybe you can tell us a story."
"Yes!" Rickon exclaimed. "Let's call Sansa; she loves your stories." Arya let Antea go to lie on the ground.
"She won't come," she said bitterly. "She is with Princess Myrcella; she doesn't have time for us," she spoke, trying to give her best impression of Sansa.
"Arya," Ned warned her calmly.
"Sorry," she muttered, rolling her eyes.
"I'd love to stay with you, children, but this is no time for stories,," their father said before turning to Antea. "Come with me, Antea."
Her father then offered his hand to his daughter, who took it to get up from the ground. She waved her hand to her brothers, saying that she would look for them later, and then she followed Ned in the Godswood.
Her father prayed every day in the Godswood. Her mother didn't like that place very much, but maybe because she prayed to the Seven Gods and not the Old Gods. Antea and her brothers learn to pray for both their parent's religions, Ned and Catelyn said that it was up to them to decide which to follow when they would have been older.
They set by the Weirwood tree and looked at the water in the hot pool in front of them.
"I'm very proud of you," she turned to look at her father. When he spoke, a small smile appeared on her face. She had always wished for her father to be proud of her. "You are becoming a strong young woman, like your mother, and I had always hoped," he said, still looking ahead of him. Thinking about your future wasn't the only reason why I chose to take you to the South with me."
She felt her body becoming rigid when she remembered that she was about to leave. Everything was ready, they were just waiting for the King's order to leave Winterfell. But if it wasn't to find a husband, then why his father wanted for her to travel south?
"You may not notice that, but all your brothers look up to you; they listen to you," her father added. "I wanted you to keep an eye on Sansa and Arya and show them how to behave since their mother would be away."
Antea blushed. She was so glad to hear those words. She had always wanted to be a good lady, a good Stark. Hearing her father speak those words brought her so much joy. She really needed them in those dark days.
"But for now, I want you to stay here." Antea looked at her father, shocked.
"What?" She asked, unsure she had heard him correctly.
"I need you to stay here for the moment," he said, looking at her. "Your mother is…" His words died in his throat thinking about how desperate his wife was "Well, you saw her. Robb will need help to learn how to be a good lord, and he is stubborn, but he listens to you. He always had," she listened at her father closely "And Rickon will need you if his mother is not there" Antea had been the one who took care of Rickon those days; played with him, ate with him and took him to sleep.
"So, I can stay," she muttered; she couldn't deny that she was happy to know she would be staying at home. But a part of her felt guilty about feeling like this; it wouldn't have happened if Bran hadn't fallen.
"Just until Bran will wake," her father said. "Then you'll come South." Antea's joy started to vanish when her father spoke those words, but she nodded, knowing already what her parents wanted for her.
"Thank you, Father," she said, throwing her arms around him and hugging him closely. "I promise I'll take care of everything," he laughed in her ear, holding her close.
That had been a bittersweet conversation, even because her father told her that the next day, he would have left for King's Landing. Antea hoped that they could have stayed more. She even thought it would have been easier to watch them leaving, but she was so wrong. The next day, she wouldn't say goodbye just to her little sisters but even to Jon Snow, who would have left for the Wall with her uncle Benjen.
Robb was very sad, but knowing that she would stay lighted up his mood a bit, and the same was for Theon who walked around with his usual smile, helping his lord to set the last things.
In the morning, she took Rickon to break his fast, and she helped the girls with their last packages before she went up to Bran's chamber to take the usual plate she brought every morning.
But that day, something was different. The door was open, and looking inside, she saw Jon kneeling next to Bran, taking his smaller hands in his bigger one.
"Bran, don't die," she heard him plead. "We are here all waiting for you. Me, Robb, the girls, and Cyel…" Antea slide down resting her back against the wall next to the door, with her eyes closed, the pain in her brother's voice made a tear roll down Antea's cheek. She wiped it away when she heard Jon move.
"I have to go," he said. "I'm going north with Uncle Benjen today before the snow falls again." Antea heard him take a frustrated breath. He was crying. She wanted to enter when she heard her mother say:
"I wanted him to stay here with me. He was my special boy." Bran had always been special to everyone in Winterfell. He was playful, kind, and sweet; he was impossible not to love, "I prayed seven times to the Seven faces of God that Ned would change his mind. Sometimes prayers are answered," her mother said bitterly. Antea let out a breath she didn't know she was taking. Even her mother was blaming herself.
"It wasn't your fault," Jon spoke kindly like always, but nervous nonetheless. Jon had never gone to visit Bran in those days. Robb thought it was because of their mother, and Antea thought he was right. Lady Catelyn had never been fond of Jon Snow.
"I need no of your absolution, bastard." Her mother's voice was full of poison, and Antea had to fight her feet to move in the chamber. Jon was just trying to comfort her.
Antea heard her brother's step coming closer to the door when her mother spoke again:
"Jon," Antea blinked; her mother had never called Jon by his name.
"Yes, lady Stark?" She heard him answering.
"It should have been you," Antea said, shocked by her mother's tone. She seemed so calm, as if she had stated a matter of fact, but her body was paralyzed by anger. Why? Why be so nasty with a person so kind like Jon? No wonder he wanted to leave.
She looked up when she heard Jon exiting the room. Their eyes met, both full of tears, but Jon's weren't angry… Not as much as Antea's, anyway. She stood up, and without a word, she pulled her brother in a tight hug. Antea didn't know how long they had held each other, but at some point, Jon let her go and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"I have to go," he said, wiping away the last tears he cried for Bran. "I'll see you later." She nodded before looking at him, disappearing behind a corner. Anger took over her once again, before storming in the chamber. This time her mother looked up at the door.
"I know you are suffering," Antea said. "But can you not feel just a bit of compassion? Jon is leaving; he just wanted to say goodbye." Her mother's eyes were full of poison at the mention of Jon's name.
"This is not his place," she answered bitterly.
"He is Bran's brother!" Antea argued, "It is in his right to say goodbye."
"His right…" her mother said, almost mocking, then turned to look at Bran again. Antea observed her mother. She was always so caring and kind. The people loved her; her family loved her. She was always there to help whoever needed a hand, especially her family. Why not Jon?
"Why do you hate him so much? What has he ever done to you?" Antea muttered. She wanted to understand, but she never could.
"You always defend him," her mother spoke, her voice stronger than the days before. Antea frowned at her words.
"He is my brother," she stated; of course, she defended him. Her mother shook her head, looking at the ceiling.
"He is not, but you always forget it. You all always forget it," she spat. "But you will understand and agree with me when you have children of your own."
Of something Antea was sure of, she would have never blamed a child for his father's mistakes.
"No, I won't," Antea said bitterly. "I will never become like you." Their eyes met for a moment before Antea stormed out of the chamber.
She had never been angrier at her mother. She said too many horrible things to her brother. Yes, because Jon was her brother, it didn't matter if he was a Snow.
Oh gods, she thought. Jon was leaving soon. Antea started to run as fast as she could to find Jon.
She found him in the yard with Robb and Cyel. He was hugging his brother when Antea got closer.
"When do you think we'll see each other again?" She heard Jon mutter in his brother's fur. Robb laughed.
"Soon enough," Robb answered, clapping Jon's shoulder before breaking the hug. Then Jon turned to Cyel, and they hugged, too.
"Don't forget to write, alright?" Cyel said sweetly. Jon nodded, blushing, and then he smiled at the girl.
"Take care of my brothers. We are all lost without you." Cyel laughed lightly at his words. When Jon let her go, he turned to Antea, realizing she was there.
"I was coming to look for you," he said when she got closer.
"Are you really going away?" Antea asked, taking her brother's hand. It felt strange to let him go.
"You won't even notice," he said with a smile. "I was never a big talker." Antea shook her head, hugging her brother close again. For a moment, she felt like she hadn't spent enough time with Jon. There was so much they could still do together, all of them.
Tears rolled down her cheeks when they broke the hug.
"Do not get cold, brother," she said with a laugh. "I won't be there to remind you." Jon laughed with her, giving her another kiss on the forehead.
"Stay safe," he said.
"You too," they said. Then they heard barking, and they saw Shadow and Grey Wind running to Ghost and starting to nuzzle each other's heads. It was their way to say goodbye, apparently. The three brothers looked at their direwolves, who sure were feeling the same sadness.
Saying goodbye to Jon hadn't been easy, but now that she had to say goodbye to her father was even worse. Of course, she would have seen him again very soon… or at least she hoped that would have meant for her little brother to wake up soon.
They were all out in the yard, well everyone but Antea's mother, they bowed their heads at the king and the queen, they had to do the same at price Joffery who looked at them with his usual superior smirk. Antea had to take Robb by the hand to calm him. Then Myrcella thanked them for their hospitality and wished to see them soon. Little Tommen just waved his hand timidly at them before running to his mother. Jaime Lannister bowed his head, but of course, he was not grateful, not that Antea expected it from the Kingslayer. When it was her father's turn, she had to hold her tears. He first went to Robb, entrusting him to the North and the family.
"Of course, Father," he said.
Lord Stark looked proudly at his son; Robb was acting like a man grown since Bran's fall. He would have been a good lord for Winterfell.
Then, her father stepped in front of her. She bowed at him before hugging him. Ned laughed in her ear.
"I'll see you soon, my sweet," he said. She nodded against his fur. Gods, she would have missed her father's hugs.
"Goodbye, Father," Antea said, breaking the hug. He smiled at her before hugging Rickon, who was rubbing his eyes full of tears. Then her father moved to Theon, who bowed his head respectfully, and then to Cyel, who did the same.
"Take care of my children for me," he said to both of them.
Then Arya came and hugged Robb and Antea together. It was so clear she didn't want to cry, but her red eyes were betraying her.
"When will I see you again?" She asked.
"Very soon, sweet sister," Robb said, patting her messy hair.
"Don't get in trouble until I come in King's Landing," Antea said, kissing her sister, who nodded before running to Cyel and Theon. Sansa was there waiting to say her goodbyes to her brother, she was hugging Cyel smiling happily. Go in the South was like a dream coming true for her. Then she moved gracefully to her older brothers and bowed her head to them, but when she raised them, they all hugged.
"Stay safe, Sansa," Robb said, eyeing the prince. He still couldn't believe that she would have to marry him.
"I will be," she answered with eyes full of joy. "Take care of Rickon and Bran," she said to Antea, patting Rickon on his head affectionately. "And tell them lots of stories; they love them." Antea smiled at her sister. She would have been a good queen one day. The prince was lucky to marry her, Antea hoped he knew.
"Of course," she said. "I'll see you soon." Sansa smiled once again before joyously joying their father at the carriages.
Antea stood there with her brothers and her friends, waving at the part of their family leaving Winterfell. They looked at them since it was possible, and once they disappeared from view, Antea let out a sad breath. For a moment, she felt lonely without all her family together. It wasn't a farewell, but it certainly felt like one.