Only 5 minutes into tutorial and chill, we were already ganged by a mob of angry goblins.
"Halt! My little green comrades!" The Russian guy proclaimed raising his hammer and everyone, including the goblins stopped to watch him.
"We are on your side! We are not your enemy! Your true enemy is capitalism! If it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have to resort to robbing noobs like us!"
We all stared at him fished eyed, as Russian guy went on:
"I promise you all, one day, when we become powerful, we shall drive away the bourgeoisie and uproot capitalism! And there will be bread, land and peace for all!"
His speech was an excellent summary of the Russian Revolution, except it didn't work anywhere but on paper. (Incoming triggered Communist in the comment section)
The goblins stared at him awe stuck for a moment, as if he was an angelic messenger from heaven. And to be honest, for a moment, I thought the goblins were actually going to convert to communist. But turns out my belief was dead wrong, as one of the goblins threw his dagger at the Russian guy, and got him dead in the eye.
"CYKA BLYAT!" The Russian guy screamed, as more and more goblins rushed forward and began tackling him to the ground. Seeing the horror, the rest of us made a desperate attempt for break through.
The Italian guy began swinging his bow around and knocking away the first goblins he made contact, but couldn't get further as he bow snapped in half on his 4th swing.
The Chinese guys got slightly further, but as he went down, so did his string of Cantonese curses.
"Peace yall!" AJ said, as he tried to sneak away from the side, but too was meet with a tidal wave of goblins, overcoming and pinning him to the ground.
I was the only one left, and for some reason no goblins came for me.
Do they think I am non-existent?
Well, perhaps this is good in this case. As I slowly move away from the massacre, a sharp cry rang out, stopping me in mid-step.
"HELPPP!" AJ voice barely penetrated the screech of ravaging goblins. "I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!"
I twisted my lip.
"NO! NOT THERE! THIS IS NOT HOW I PLAN TO LOSE MY-"
Why did you play this game again?
To make friends...
What better chance is there then right now? If you save them, they will thank you, and will want to be friends with you.
I am right.
But I choose cleric...can I even do this?...
I turned and looked back at the massacre one more time.
A game you can also restart, but a chance of friendship, they don't come around easy...
I was right again. But even though it was a game, I could already feel the sweat from my palms the tension in my brain, and the fear of hurt and failure lurching through my stomach.
Riga. Pull your shit together.
I gulped.
When are you ever going to make that step?
Now?
Then just do it.
DO IT.
DO IT!!!
With a last grinding of my teeth, I whipped around and walked back to the slaughter feeling like an shounen anime protagonist...
Except I am not.
Which means I will probably get 100% slaughtered.
Q: What was the most frustrating video game tutorial you ever played?