BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
— Turn it off… Turn it off… — I mumbled, rolling around in bed, trying to punch the alarm clock.
In one damn clumsy, reckless move, I felt my back hit the floor.
What a crappy day. Welcome to the morning circus! Damn moment I didn't turn it off yesterday.
You work and study all week, just to wake up early on the weekend, what a drag!
What a punishment! I must've cursed myself somehow.
I even tried to close my eyes for half an hour to see if I could get back to sleep… But nothing!
Though... I don't quite remember today being Saturday or Sunday…
I opened my phone and looked at the calendar. That thing almost blinded me...
— Alright. Friday... — Then I closed my eyes again.
But... Wait a minute...
— FRIDAY? DAMN! I'M LATE! DAMN, EVE!!! — I jumped up, running.
I started changing clothes and muttering "ชีวิตบ้าๆ นี่แม่งไปตายซะ!", which means "Help."
— EVENS! NO SWEARING IN THIS HOUSE OR I'LL SMACK YOU!
That's my grandma, she's a little high-strung and sometimes out of control…
Once, she got so mad she set the neighbor's motorcycle on fire... The funny part is it was the wrong motorcycle.
And it's so early, and the old lady's already half-drunk.
— SORRY, GRAN!
— I'LL TELL LINDSAY YOU'RE BEING TERRIBLE!
— AND WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH IT, GRAN? GET OVER LINDSAY BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE! — I said, stuffing things into my bag.
— SHE WON'T BE PROUD!
— She shouldn't know that Lindsay is two-faced... — I looked at the clock. — Damn! Late again, I'm doomed!
I rushed out of my room, bag slung over my shoulder.
— Why the hurry, you damned creature?
— Grandma, I can't eat today, I'm late.
— Again? — She didn't look too pleased. — Eat an apple or shove a banana in your mouth!
— What the heck, Gran? What's wrong with you? Bye, Gran, love you! — I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and got out of there before she could say worse things. — Okay, now I just have to remember where I parked that blessed bike...
Yes, bike! Clean, fast transportation! I do it to avoid polluting the world more, which... you know.
IT'S ON THE VERGE OF RUIN THANKS TO MODERN HUMANITY AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE SOON!
Or maybe I'm just poor, but that's beside the point.
On the way, I pedaled like someone on death row.
Unlegible or facing multiple lawsuits? No, that's not it... It's more like something with no future.
I'm totally ready for a marathon!
Dodging cars and obstacles! Facing the world with courage, ready to reclaim lost time and my honor.
And I nearly fell flat on my face.
Warrior, I don't even have to say why, it's written all over my foolish face.
And yes, I made it! But since nothing in life is perfect...
Well, I got a flat tire… And ended up being even later.
— Good morning, Eve. Late again! And you managed to upgrade Peppa Pig's bike! — The young woman handed me a coffee.
That's Claire, my better half, the sour half of my lemon.
— I know. Thanks. Good morning! — I replied, feeling like screaming, almost crying.
— Get ready, looks like someone got a job here through lots of struggle, things are gonna change. I almost cried when I heard that poor soul's story, fleeting, leprous, daughter of Judas! — She clenched her fist and lowered her head as if she were crying.
— What struggle?
— She's the boss's daughter!
At that moment, I looked at her face, serious, and she looked back at me. I took a deep breath.
I held back from spitting my coffee in that jerk's face.
With my mouth full, I took another deep breath and calmly swallowed that devilish coffee.
My little hand even lifted, debating whether to thank the heavens for having such an idiotic friend to make me laugh in that chaos, or if, for the same reason, I should smack her.
— Claire... I'm only not slapping you right here, right now because there are people around! — I whispered just so she could hear.
— Did I lie?
— A little more and I'll find out what only the crazy ones know... — I said, laughing as we got into the elevator. — Bonjour, salut mon ami! — I greeted two people in the elevator, then continued talking low to my friend, so only we could understand.
— Look, Eve, unfortunately, I'm not the boss's daughter, wish I were that lucky.
— Me too, but I don't think I'd be working here, not as a secretary… I mean, sometimes I do eat.
I laughed at the double meaning.
— Obviously, you're better suited for the position of whore! — She pointed at my face, laughing. Stupid mare.
— You two! No chattering here! — The man's face was full of disgust.
— Mince, il veut comprendre les potins de toute façon ! (Damn, he wants to know the gossip anyway!) — I laughed at a young woman's comment in the elevator.
— Oui, fille! Vérité, c'est une salope! (Yes, girl! Truth, he's a bitch!)
I gave her a thumbs-up.
— We're here!
— Pardon. (Excuse me.)
The woman stepped out ahead, accompanied by the man.
— Who is she? I've never seen her here before, could she be a client?
Here's the translation with the appropriate changes:
---
— Because I said crap to her…
— I have no idea. — Claire and I stopped at the spot, staring at the girl and the man walking ahead.
— Hey, were you two in the same elevator as her? — A woman asked.
— Yes, why? Do I owe you perfume and don't know about it? — I questioned.
— You didn't say anything inappropriate, did you? You two have big mouths and talk too much! She must be someone important, she came to speak directly with the president! Please tell me you didn't say anything!
— Hold on… — Claire stopped, deep in thought.
— Oh no… Claire…
— Eve… You know what I'm thinking, don't you? Could she be the owner's daughter?
— Damn, no way! And she was listening to our conversation! Today is the day we get fired! I was barely hanging on to this job without crying anyway!
— No, no, no. Come on, Lucy! — Claire made a funny crying face and pulled me by the arm.
— Ow, the pain, the pain! Today's the day I end up unemployed!
— Stop running and shouting in the hallway! — Someone complained.
— DESOLÉ, JE SUIS EN RETARD! (Sorry, I'm late!)
As soon as we stopped running, we caught our breath, adjusted our clothes, and knocked on the door.
We composed ourselves as if nothing had happened, nothing could shake us, we hadn't done anything.
— Please don't let it be her, don't let it be her! — Claire crossed her hands as if praying, and I almost laughed at the situation, but then someone opened the door.
— Good morning, Claire. And Evens… Late again.
— I'm sorry, sir, I swear, I swear I tried! But on the way here, I even got a flat tire… It's a tough life… You can't even imagine!
— Et dramatique, c'est sûr… (And dramatic, for sure…)
— Excusez-moi, entrez! (Please, come in!)
— Pardon, papa! Oh, wrong diction… Pardon, monsieur! (Sorry, sir!)
— As I was saying, Evens. A flat tire? You still have that old, broken bike?
— No need to insult it, sir…
— Why didn't you take the bus, Evens?
— It's just… I don't own a bus, sir…
I saw the beautiful young woman in the corner put her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter, while Claire pinched me.
— Ow, pig! What?
— Watch what you say! — Claire whispered through her teeth. — Sorry, sir, Eve doesn't always think before she speaks… Her grandma told me she once tripped and hit her head three times on a rock… Actually, the rock was in her sister's hand…
— Your friend is funny, don't blame her. But I've been hearing a lot about you, Lucy Evens. I'm not sure if I should let you continue here for much longer…
— Sir, I know her name is a mess and doesn't fit, but I'm sure she's not that big of a problem… — Claire tried to intervene.
— Besides the constant tardiness, I received a complaint that you two were saying outrageous things here all the time!
— No, wait sir, I wasn't saying outrageous things! I just wasn't speaking loud enough for him, there was another time he complained because I wasn't speaking the local language, and that was right at the beginning! Honestly, I don't know what they want me to do with my language skills, since that was surely one of the reasons I was hired, because I know it wasn't for math!
— Elle a raison, papa. (She has a point, Dad.)
— Papa? Papa! Oh, I did suspect the resemblance! — I pretended to be clueless. — Very beautiful, just like you, sir, I don't even want to imagine how gorgeous the mother must be! — I shook the man's hand, "congratulating" him.
— Okay, elle mérite un Oscar, donnez-lui un! (Okay, she deserves an Oscar, give her one!)
— Merci, mademoiselle. (Thank you, miss.)
— Well, then, it'll be you! — The man said without much explanation.
— Me what? Fired? What about the electricity bill? How will I pay for the gas, sir?
— You'll be helping Kim adapt to the company. And who better? You're young…
— Quel homme sans jugement… (What a clueless man…) — Claire whispered to me as the man walked toward the large window.
— You're smart, you speak five languages.
— Six… One of them is crap. — Claire kept provoking.
— I'm sure you'll get along well during your time here together!
— The one who birthed her must be crazy. — Claire finished.
— For sure! Wait…
— You'll also assist her with anything related to language, she doesn't speak our language very well yet. I expect you to help her.
— I'll do my best for the little lady!
— Please, be on time tomorrow. Kim and I have meetings now, prepare the files for the MVTVC from folder II that I requested. I'll need them. Claire will handle Kim's transition to Room II. Do everything she asks, you're now her personal secretary.
— Yes, sir. Should I bring a baton to get beaten as well? — I whispered so only Claire could hear, and she pinched me again.
— Let's go, Kim. Good work, ladies.
— Excusez-moi. (Excuse me.)
They both left together.
— Just what I needed, babysitting the boss's daughter! He must think working for a beautiful woman is a promotion! She is really pretty, isn't she? I think I've seen her on TV. But it's just a coincidence that I find her beautiful!
— Don't complain, it's better than hearing Kai's nonsense, isn't it?
— Totally agree, that horned bastard… — I cracked my knuckles in agreement. — I have so much work to finish today, I don't know when I'll be able to leave.
— Today is a full day.
— Full of humiliation! I need to get started, see you later, Claire.
— See you.
I left the room, already thinking about where to begin.
I went to that woman's room, making a list of everything needed to organize the new commander's office.
— Another one to boss us around… I want a promotion! Money in my pocket to buy the tissues to wipe my tears! — I commented dramatically, to myself.
— Hey, Eve! Is this the new office? — It didn't take long for Claire to come snooping around me. She stopped talking as soon as she entered the room. — Wow, this is one of the best ones here.
— Yes, I'll clean it every day for the madame! Do you like it?
— She'll stay in this room?
— Yes. You didn't think it was for me, did you?
— It could be, you definitely know more than she does. She looks like… a spoiled daddy's girl!
— Are you crazy to say that here?
— Am I lying?
— We don't even know her, I'm not risking my job.
— You talk about everyone all the time, idiot!
— Wow, girl. You lie so much… You could go into acting or politics!
— And you talk so much crap that the first thing I'll do when I get into politics is shut that sewer mouth of yours! That cesspit!
— GET OUT OF HERE! — I pushed her out of the room.