If you had a chance to travel back in time, which year would it be? The question I kept asking myself in the year 2022. Hmmm... I want to return to when I was in grade 7 and reset everything, from my studies to focusing on my academics, and preventing her dramatic experience with that person. Some people think I'm crazy because, "Why would you go back to the worst time?" For me, it's not the worst; it's like the best-worst year I ever experienced.
I met this girl because she was my classmate back in grade 7. "Wow, she's beautiful." That thought stayed in my head, but at that time, I didn't have the courage to chat with her, even though we were classmates. A week passed, and I stopped attending online classes for some reason. The reason was hilarious – I forgot about the classes and deleted my messenger app, losing touch with what was happening with that girl.
A week later, my mom confronted me, asking, "Why aren't you attending online classes?!" She was furious because I did nothing during the time I skipped classes except play mobile legends and online games. On that day, my mom entered my room yelling, "I talked to Angel (my classmate); she said you have a lot of tasks to do. What are you doing? Just playing games?!" After that scolding, I reinstalled the messenger app and found messages from my teachers: "Are your outputs incomplete?" "I want to talk to your parents." "I can't put anything on your report card because you haven't submitted any outputs." I ignored their messages initially but eventually got to work on my missing outputs.
I finished all my outputs after a week, tried to join the online class, but didn't see her. I left, deleted my messenger again, and went back to playing games. My life sucked in grade 7 – a lazy person with a crush on a beautiful, smart girl was like a nightmare.
One day, I got motivated, opened my Google Drive with my school Gmail account, and found her name in a
folder. It contained an activity titled "When I Grow Up." Her dream was to become a surgeon – caring about people, their lives, fascinated by medicine, wanting to help her family. Reading her dream, I scolded myself, "She's your crush? She has a good dream, and look at you? You're lazy!" I convinced myself I didn't need to be friends with someone who had such good aspirations.
I tried to change, downloaded the messenger app again, attempted to communicate with my classmates, but I felt left out. My anxiety convinced me I was worthless trying to fit in, so I uninstalled the messenger.
Three quarters passed, last month of our school year, and since the first quarter, I hadn't installed my messenger. I saw my mom crying on the sofa, approached her, and asked, "Mom, what's the problem?" She replied, "You're the problem. We're working so hard, and all we get is a letter from your teacher saying you can't move to the next grade because you haven't passed your activities since the second quarter." Another long scolding ensued.
After that day, I decided to wake up early, start my missing outputs, and after a month, I completed all of them. I checked my grades, which weren't great, but at least I moved on to the next grade. From that day on, I promised myself to be a productive person, starting by uninstalling my online games, reading books, and listening to music. That day, I changed, and I regret everything that happened in my grade 7 school year.
The school break has already ended, and I've enrolled in grade 8 with the intention of becoming a better version of myself from grade 7. I made a promise to quit playing video games and embraced a more studious path. On the day of searching for my new section, I was pleasantly surprised to find her name on the master list. This discovery filled me with joy, as it provided an opportunity to get to know her better.
During the orientation on the first day of school, we met teachers from different subjects. True to my promise, I strived for better grades, attempting to catch up with her academic excellence. Despite my efforts, I couldn't quite reach her level. However, every time I saw her handwriting or the digital submissions she made through Facebook groups, I felt an inexplicable motivation. Perhaps there's something unique about her approach that resonates with me.
As the school year progressed, my dedication to studies paid off, and my homeroom teacher announced the top 10 with honors. As anticipated, she was among the honors students. While I fell short of achieving honors myself, I didn't feel disheartened. Focusing on my studies and maintaining this mindset became a priority, knowing that there's room for more achievements in the future.
As the school year concluded, I found myself contemplating reaching out to her, expressing my gratitude. However, uncertainty crept in – what if she's not the person I imagined? What if she's a different, possibly unpleasant individual? The "what ifs" swirled in my mind, making it challenging to take that first step in initiating a conversation. Yet, despite the apprehension, I recognized the value of acknowledging her positive influence on my academic journey.