Tatsuya sat there, staring at the floor, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His chest felt heavy, suffocated under the weight of the memories. The colonel's words echoed in his mind, mingling with his own guilt.
"So, everything happened because I was weak, huh?" Tatsuya whispered to himself, his voice barely audible, as if he was afraid to admit it. He had always thought himself strong, capable of protecting the ones he cared for. But in the end, all he could do was watch helplessly as everything fell apart.
The memories surged back, clear as if they had happened just yesterday.
He could still feel the warmth of Miyuki's body as he held her in her final moments. Her face, pale but still so heartbreakingly beautiful, smiled weakly through the tears that streamed down her cheeks. Blood stained her lips as she spoke with a voice that trembled with pain but was determined to say what was in her heart.
"I really wished… w-we were an item, at least I-I would have died… happily then." Miyuki coughed, blood splattering across her clothes, her body shaking as her life slipped away in his arms.
He could do nothing but hold her, choking on his own silent sobs, knowing that this was the end. She smiled, even as her breaths grew weaker and weaker, until finally, her eyes closed for the last time.
Tatsuya swallowed hard, the lump in his throat almost suffocating him. He had failed her. He had failed them all.
As the memories of Miyuki faded into the back of his mind, the image of another woman surfaced. The woman he had been tasked to kill. Miyuki's mother. Her lifeless body, lying still on the cold ground. Her face was serene, as if she had accepted her fate long before it came for her. The sound of that gunshot still echoed in his mind, louder than any explosion he had ever heard on the battlefield.
"You were powerless to do anything at the time, and I wasn't in the situation to do anything while keeping Miyuki safe," the colonel said quietly. "If only I had not kept quiet and hoped for her to hide, and acted on my own instead… I wouldn't have lost both my wife and daughter."
Tatsuya flinched at the colonel's words. They were laced with the same regret and guilt he felt deep inside. Silence hung between them for a long moment, both men lost in the weight of what could never be undone.
"I accepted her as my girlfriend that day, Colonel," Tatsuya finally said, his voice low. "Miyuki... she passed away in my arms. I couldn't do anything but watch her die."
The colonel's face remained unreadable, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes. Pain, maybe. Understanding. He remained quiet, allowing Tatsuya to continue.
Tatsuya sighed, running a hand through his dishevelled hair, his eyes unfocused as he recalled the day he had gone to observe Miyuki's mother. The day he had been given the order to decide whether to assassinate her or let her go.
He had tracked her movements carefully, watching from the shadows, as she visited the local store, buying ingredients for a meal. He had watched her prepare a feast with meticulous care, the way a loving mother would. Every move she made was deliberate, filled with grace and calm, as if she knew she was being watched.
Then, she had stepped out into the lawn, her eyes locking onto his, even though he was certain he had been well hidden. Tatsuya prided himself on his stealth. No one had ever detected him unless he wanted to be seen.
But she had seen him.
"Come in," she had said, her voice gentle, almost like a kind neighbour inviting someone over for tea. "Have a meal with me. Let's talk."
Tatsuya had hesitated. He was there to observe, to make a decision about her fate, not to socialize. But when she said, "I know you're here for me, but wait until my daughter goes to sleep. We can talk then," it had been impossible to walk away.
She could've killed him then, she'd told him, if she had wanted to. It would have been easy for her, she had said, but she didn't want to. And for some reason, Tatsuya had believed her.
Reluctantly, he had entered the house. She had prepared a meal, simple but delicious, and Tatsuya had sat across from her, silently eating, observing her every move, trying to understand the woman behind the target.
When her daughter, Miyuki, had gone to bed, the woman had sent Tatsuya out, asking him to return in a few hours.
He had done as she asked, but when he returned, the air was different. There was a quietness to her now, a sadness in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She had asked him about his mission, about his daily life as a soldier, as if she wanted to know the man behind the assassin.
Then, without warning, she had pulled out a gun. A custom-made automatic pistol.
Tatsuya hadn't moved. He could've stopped her, but he didn't.
"Don't feel guilty for what's about to happen," she had told him softly, almost like a mother reassuring her child. "Someone will keep my daughter safe. I know they will. I've already lost my other daughter because of my existence... I won't lose another one."
Her eyes had shimmered with a silent sadness, one that spoke of years of pain, of a life lived in the shadows. Then, without another word, she had placed the gun to her forehead and pulled the trigger.
The sound of the gun firing echoed in Tatsuya's mind. He remembered how the automatic pistol had emptied the entire magazine, how the silence after the gunshots had been deafening. He had stood there, frozen, unable to move, unable to stop her.
He hadn't even had the guts to look the colonel in the eye after that. Instead, he had disappeared, sending his resignation letter, the gun, and a few other things to the colonel. Months later, after the guilt had lessened enough to bear, he had sent a letter to apologize to the colonel, though he knew no apology could ever be enough.
"Her death…" Tatsuya whispered, his voice trembling. "It's haunted me ever since. I couldn't stay in the military after that. I couldn't stop thinking about her, her daughter, about Miyuki…"
He paused, his eyes distant, before he finally looked up at the colonel.
The colonel sighed, "So she gave herself up due to guilt after I told her about Miyuki's departure?"
"Miyuki had a twin, didn't she?"