Chapter 32: The Pork Returns…
Not a single contestant passed. That was honestly pathetic. What made it worse was the fact that all of them had decided whole roasted pigs were the way to go.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them!
They saw me fail every person who brought one up, and yet they still thought it was a good idea. "Are all of you idiots?" I muttered under my breath, shaking my head as the last contestant walked away in defeat.
"This might be a bit of a problem," Menchi said quietly, glancing nervously at the crowd.
She wasn't wrong. The contestants were glaring at us like they wanted blood. I could feel killing intent rolling off a few of them, especially Hisoka and that pin-cushion-looking guy.
I didn't bother standing up. Instead, I flexed a small amount of my Youki aura and directed it at them. I smirked as both of them froze and shivered, their killing intent disappearing in an instant! I mouthed the words, just try it. If they didn't like the results of the test, maybe they should've put in the tiniest amount of effort to actually cook something.
"You know what? I changed my mind," I said loudly enough for everyone to hear.
The crowd went silent. A few of the contestants looked hopeful.
"Do we pass after all?" Gon called out from somewhere in the middle of the group, standing next to Killua.
"No," I said, smirking as their faces dropped. I pointed at Naruko and Tanya. "But I've decided that they pass."
A wave of complaints immediately erupted.
"What?!"
"That's so unfair!"
I ignored them and turned to Naruko and Tanya. "Naruko burnt her pork to charcoal, but she was the only one who even tried to make a sandwich. Tanya's emergency rations tasted like crap, but at least they were edible. Both of them put in more effort than the rest of you combined, so they pass."
"Hell yeah, dattebane!" Naruko cheered, throwing her fist into the air.
"Whatever," Tanya grumbled, but I caught the faint grin tugging at the corner of her lips. The little tsundere.
The complaints from the crowd got louder.
"That's clearly nepotism!" someone shouted.
"Of course you'd pass your little sister and your girlfriend, you nine-tailed freak!" another yelled.
I turned toward the guy who'd said that, glaring as I held up a hand wreathed in blue fox fire. "Come over here and say that to my face!" I shouted.
The guy immediately looked down and didn't say another word.
"Thought so," I said, letting the flames flicker out.
Before things could escalate further, a booming voice cut through the tension.
"Hoh…? It looks like things are getting interesting down here!"
I glanced up to see an old man with long earlobes leap from an airship high above us. He descended hundreds of meters in a controlled fall and landed nearby with a loud crack, creating a small crater where he stood.
"Chairman!" Menchi and Buhara exclaimed at the same time, both of them snapping to attention.
"So, what's going on here?" he asked, looking between me, Menchi, and Buhara.
Menchi stepped forward, visibly nervous but doing her best to stay composed. "Chairman Netero, sir, only three contestants have passed the second stage of the Hunter Exam," she said, gesturing toward me, Naruko, and Tanya.
Netero's gaze shifted to the three of us. His expression was unreadable as he looked us over critically, like he was sizing up every detail. "You're all certainly strong," he said finally. "But the exam must have been far too difficult if so many others failed during only the second portion."
"Not really," I said.
Netero raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"
"They were all just bad at cooking. Like, cartoonishly bad," I said bluntly, gesturing toward the group of contestants still standing nearby. "Burned pork, raw pork, flavorless pork. It's like none of them had even seen a kitchen before today." I paused, looking at the contestants. "Anyone want to argue with me?" Silence. Not a single person spoke up. A few of them looked embarrassed, while others just avoided my gaze entirely.
"Er… be that as it may," Netero said after a moment, clearing his throat, "I think you, Menchi, should host another stage of the exam. One with less… cooking involved."
Menchi sighed, clearly unhappy about that, but not about to argue with her boss. "Alright," she said reluctantly. "I'll need to borrow the airship though..."
"Of course," Netero said with a nod.
"Alright, then," I said, standing up. "This was fun, but we're heading out now." Naruko and Tanya walked over to join me.
Naruko looked up at me. "Do we even know how we're getting back to your restaurant?"
"Not yet," I admitted. "If the goddess left us a door nearby, great. If not, we can backtrack through the swamp. It's not a huge deal..."
I noticed Netero's eyes widened slightly at my words. "You're all leaving?"
"Yeah," I said simply.
"You don't want to continue the Hunter Exam?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.
"Not really," I said with a shrug. "I only came here for the pork. My little sister's birthday is tomorrow, and I needed meat for her party. That's why we're here."
The Chairman raised a hand, stopping us as we started to leave. "It would be a shame for such strong contestants to drop out after only the second exam," he said.
I paused, glancing back at him. "We've already got what we came for. No point sticking around."
Menchi spoke up before the Chairman could respond. "Where we're going next, there's more delicious food! Your little sister will love it I'm sure!"
That caught my attention. "More delicious food?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Menchi nodded confidently. "It's something you'll definitely want to try!"
I sighed. "Fine. We'll stick around for a few more hours." I doubted Menchi was going to lie as a fellow chef so whatever she had planned was probably worth it.
We boarded the airship along with the rest of the contestants. The crowd was still buzzing, people chatting about the unexpected second chance. Killua and Gon ran over as soon as they spotted us.
"You're so lucky to have a big brother like Haru!" Gon said, looking at Tanya. "He totally passed you!"
Tanya crossed her arms and huffed. "I passed because of my own talents, not because Haru took pity on me." She turned to me, her eyes narrowing. "Right?"
I avoided her gaze, pretending to be distracted by something on the floor.
Her frown deepened. "Haru!"
Killua and Gon burst out laughing.
Before Tanya could get any angrier, Kurapika approached with another contestant. The guy was tall and dressed in a suit that looked way too formal for a survival test.
"Hey there!" the suited guy said, holding out a hand. "That was a close one. Made me really nervous back there. I'm glad we're getting another chance. Name's Leorio."
I shook his hand. "I'm Haru."
We talked for a while, mostly small talk about the test and how absurd the cooking portion had been. Leorio seemed like a decent guy, even if he complained a lot.
After what felt like an hour, the airship landed again. Everyone disembarked, stepping out onto a rocky cliff that overlooked a massive canyon.
Menchi walked to the edge of the cliff and turned to face us. "This is the next part of the second exam," she said. She pointed down into the canyon. "Spider Eagles nest here, and their eggs are considered some of the most delicious in the entire world. But they're not easy to get."
"What's so hard about grabbing an egg?" someone in the crowd asked.
Menchi smirked. "Watch and learn." Without another word, she jumped off the cliff. Gasps and shouts echoed behind her as she plummeted downward. I watched her calmly, already guessing what was about to happen. Dozens of meters below, she reached out and grabbed an egg from one of the nests on the cliff wall. A massive updraft of wind blew from the canyon, lifting her back up in a smooth arc until she landed gracefully back on the edge of the cliff. She held up the egg with a grin. "That's how it's done," she said. "If you want to pass this part of the exam, you'll need to get your own Spider Eagle egg. No exceptions."
A few random contestants stepped forward, clearly trying to prove they weren't afraid. One by one, they jumped. The first missed the nest entirely, flailing as they fell into the canyon below. The second managed to grab an egg but miscalculated the updraft and fell, clutching the egg all the way to their death. Same with the third.
People hesitated a lot more after watching three men fail to come back up. Menchi stepped forward with her hands on her hips. "Those idiots didn't wait for the updraft to blow them back up! Don't be like them," she said bluntly, her voice sharp.
I glanced over at Naruko and Tanya. "So, either of you want to grab some eggs?"
Tanya crossed her arms, her face scrunching up in a pout. "You already made us get the pigs. You go get the eggs."
Naruko chimed in, "Yeah, Haru. You're the one obsessed with food. Do your thing."
I chuckled, stepping toward the edge. "Fine, fine. I'll handle it." Without another word, I stepped off the cliff.
Gasps erupted from the contestants watching, and I could hear a few muttering things like "He's insane!" or "He's going to fall!"
Blue flames ignited under my feet as I casually walked down through the air like it was solid ground. The flames flickered with each step, holding me steady as I descended toward the spider eagle nests.
"Oh, come on!" someone yelled.
"He can fly too? How?!"
"What kind of cheat code is this guy running?" another contestant grumbled.
I ignored them and focused on the task at hand. The spider eagle eggs were large, bigger than I'd expected, with a glossy finish. I crouched and started grabbing them by the handful. My ears twitched as I overheard Menchi from above.
"Better hurry," she said to the others. "At this rate, Haru's going to take them all himself!"
A chorus of complaints followed.
"Didn't he already pass?"
"Why is he even participating again?"
The eggs were big, so I wasn't planning to take more than twenty anyway. But they didn't know that, and watching them panic was a little funny.
The first to leap off the cliff was Gon, with Killua right behind him. They both landed above me, grabbing onto the strong webs that crisscrossed the cliff face.
I gave them a small wave. "Nice forms."
"Thanks!" Gon called back, already focused on the eggs near him.
I finished stashing my collection into my pocket space and started walking back up. As I ascended, more contestants started dropping down, trying their luck. Some managed to catch the webs or land near nests. Others weren't so lucky. I watched as a few missed entirely, plummeting to their deaths below. One man fell dangerously close to me, his arms flailing. My tail flicked out instinctively, wrapping around him and tossing him onto a nearby web.
"Thank you!" the man said, tears streaming down his face as he clung to the web.
I nodded at him and continued walking upward. I wasn't going out of my way to save everyone—this was their choice to take part in such a dangerous exam—but I figured one good deed wouldn't kill me.
When I reached the top, Menchi, Naruko, and Tanya were waiting for me. Menchi let out an exaggerated huff, her arms crossed. "Your abilities are so unfair! Clones, flames you can cook and fly with—you're impossible to compete with!"
I chuckled, setting down the eggs I'd gathered. "So, how do you prepare these things? What's the best way to eat them?"
"They're best hard-boiled," Menchi said. "I'll show the others how it's done once they make it back up."
We waited until another updraft came, lifting the contestants who'd managed to grab eggs back to the top. Some were clutching their eggs tightly, their faces pale from the experience.
Gon and Killua ran over to Tanya. "You didn't even try! You're such a chicken!" Killua said.
"Scaredy-cat!" Gon added with a grin.
Tanya clicked her tongue, glaring at them. Then, without a word, she jumped off the cliff. Despite having memories of a past life, she really did act like a kid sometimes and was easily egged on.
Heh–egged on…
"Oi! Did she just jump?!"
"But the updraft—"
"Holy crap, she can fly too?!"
The gawkers voiced their shock, but Tanya didn't even notice or care. In a matter of seconds, she grabbed one of the remaining eggs and flew back up, landing smoothly. She smirked at Gon and Killua. "That was easy," she said smugly.
Killua pouted. "Flying is cheating! You missed the whole point of the exam!"
Tanya shrugged, walking over to one of the large pots Menchi had set up. "Sucks to suck," she said, dropping her egg inside.
Naruko tugged at my sleeve, pouting. "I want to try it too!"
I sighed, pulling out two of the ones I'd collected and handing them over. "Here. Happy?"
She grinned. "Yep!" she ran over and tossed them into the boiling potts Menchi had set out for everyone who passed.
Once the eggs were cooked, I had to admit they were incredible. The yolk was rich, and the white had a delicate flavor that I hadn't tasted before. "Too bad they're so rare, or I'd add them to my menu full-time." I said. Maybe I'd commission some Yokai to occasionally come out here to collect some though on special occasions.
Now that we had the eggs, it was time to head back. I was already thinking about how Kunou would react to the feast when, as if responding to my thoughts, my entire restaurant appeared out of nowhere at the edge of the cliff. The Foxhole stood there like it had always been there, its clean and modern design completely out of place on the rocky terrain. Everyone froze and stared, their faces filled with confusion and disbelief.
"What is that?!" Menchi exclaimed, pointing at the building.
"That's my restaurant, The Fox Hole," I said casually, already walking toward it with Naruko and Tanya close behind.
The Hunter Exam had been an interesting experience, but we'd overstayed our welcome. We'd come for the pork, gotten more than enough, and even grabbed a few spider eagle eggs as a bonus. There was no reason to stick around any longer.
"Hold up, please!" Chairman Netero called out, his voice stopping us in our tracks.
I turned to face him. "What's up?"
"Before you leave, I wanted to give you something," Netero said, reaching into his sleeve. He pulled out three plastic cards with strange writing on them. I stared at the cards for a moment, realizing I could read the language on them perfectly, even though I'd never seen it before.
"These are your Hunter Licenses," Netero said, handing one to each of us.
"Huh?" I said, blinking at the card in my hand. "That was pretty easy. We didn't even finish the whole exam."
Netero chuckled. "You didn't even finish half of it, technically. But I knew with one look at the three of you that you were bound to pass. Honestly, the competition was a little unfair with you sticking around."
Naruko snickered. "Guess we're just that good."
Tanya inspected her card, her expression skeptical. "What exactly are these licenses for?"
"They grant you access to places, information, and resources that regular people can only dream of," Netero explained. "They're very valuable and come with a lot of privileges. Take care of them—they can't be replaced if lost or damaged."
I slipped my license into my pocket with a nod. "Got it." Then I gestured toward my restaurant. "By the way, if you or Menchi ever see this place pop up again, feel free to stop by. It has a habit of showing up in the strangest locations."
Netero's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Hohoho, I'll keep that in mind…"
– Netero –
Netero let out a long sigh of relief. Everything had ended peacefully. Those three beings… they weren't normal. If someone had told him they were from the Dark Continent, he wouldn't have argued. The thought sent a chill through him. He hadn't taken Satotz's warning seriously at first. Now, he almost regretted that.
As soon as the three of them disappeared into the restaurant and closed the door, the building itself vanished without a trace.
"It just vanished!" Menchi gasped before spinning toward Netero. "You just gave them all licenses, just like that, Chairman?!"
Netero stroked his beard thoughtfully. "It will be fine," he said calmly. "I got the feeling those three wouldn't abuse them. I'm a pretty good judge of character, you know."
Menchi wasn't convinced. She glanced back at the empty space where the restaurant had stood just moments ago. The entire thing made her uneasy. "Come now, Menchi," Netero said, motioning toward the airship waiting in the distance. "Everyone else has already boarded, and it will take hours to get to the next exam site."
"R-right," Menchi said, hesitating one last time before turning to follow him.
As they walked, she frowned and glanced up at the Chairman. "Satotz warned me that those three were super dangerous, but… Haru didn't seem that bad. He even seemed kind of nice." She perked up slightly. "And his cooking skills were amazing! Too bad you arrived late—you missed the sushi he made. It was to die for!" She clapped her hands together, practically salivating at the memory.
Netero chuckled. "I'm disappointed they had to leave so suddenly," he admitted. "I would have liked to spar with them. Although…" He paused, his voice lowering slightly. "I would have probably lost."
Menchi froze mid-step, her eyes widening. "Really? Even to the little girl, Tanya? Her Nen ability is just flying, isn't it? I know she had a gun strapped to her back, but guns are basically useless against Hunters."
Netero laughed softly, his tone carrying a mix of amusement and seriousness. "Hohoho… I wouldn't be so sure about that, Menchi-chan. The world is a very big place, and I have a feeling it just got a little bigger. I'll make sure to stop by that restaurant if I ever see it again…"
XXX
I have a patreo n. My subs can read advanced updates of my stories ahead of standard release and even check out pics for some of the more naughty chapters. That's a recent development though.
Link:
Patreo n .com (slash) Starwaves
Here is the list of Current Advanced Chapters:
The Fallen Gamer ch 307-311
The Fox Hole 36
The Blood Queen 25
The Blood Queen 24
The Titan 18
The Fox Hole 35
The Fox Hole 34
The Blood Queen 23
The Fox Hole 33
The Titan 17
The Blood Queen 22