In 2016, when I was in Milan, I mostly went to two gay saunas: Metro Club and Royal Hammam, as well as a cruising club whose name I can't remember. Since I planned to stay for only a month, I was more interested in seeking sex and excitement, and didn't consider finding a boyfriend in Milan.
This time was different; I had grown tired of random hookups and wanted a romantic foreign affair. So, I asked a friend for recommendations, and he suggested I check out the gay bar street, Lecco, in Milan.
I arrived a bit early on Friday night, and the streets of Lecco were lined with various gay bars of all sizes. At first, I didn't know which one to choose, so I picked the busy Red Cafe. After sitting there for about an hour, I realized it didn't suit me; it was mostly young people, and I thought nothing would happen if I stayed there all night. After finishing two cocktails, I left.
I then wandered into Mono, where I found mostly men aged 30 to 50. As soon as I walked in, I felt the atmosphere was right; this was the bar that suited me best on this street. I ordered a glass of gin lemon, which was generously poured and tasted great. Importantly, at a table diagonally across from me sat a bearded man in his thirties who was my type, and he kept making eye contact with me, making my heart race.
After a while, the table next to me filled up with people, one of whom brought a dog. Having already had three cocktails, I was tipsy and suddenly remembered my first dog, Duo Duo, whom I had to give away almost 11 years ago when I moved from Suzhou to Guangzhou to stay with a friend. I had to part with Duo Duo, whom I had raised for nearly a year, and gave him to a couple from Taiwan. Thinking of Duo Duo brought tears to my eyes; I felt guilty for leaving her. If I hadn't left Suzhou, perhaps things would have been different. After all these years, I had lost contact with that Taiwanese couple and could only hope that Duo Duo was doing well.
I covered my eyes with my hands, trying to hide my tears from the people in the bar. Once I calmed down and dried my tears, I noticed that the man who had been making eye contact with me had left the bar. I thought he must have seen me crying and confused.
Later, three Italian men around my age showed up, clearly locals from Milan. One of them, wearing glasses, had on a PRADA denim jacket, while another was dressed head-to-toe in Balenciaga. The guy in glasses kept looking at me; I knew he liked me, but I didn't understand why he didn't come over to talk.
When I went to the restroom, I intentionally stood behind him in line. When he came out, he nodded and smiled at me but didn't say anything. I guessed he was either shy or lacked confidence in speaking English.
I continued going to Mono for several nights, and they always sat at a nearby table, but no one ever approached me. I found myself liking all three of them, so I referred to them as the "Three Musketeers."
On Saturday night, I was seated at the same table in Mono when I noticed someone passing by my table who glanced at me. He returned a moment later, holding a bottle of water. He asked if I spoke English, and when I said yes, I invited him to sit next to me.
He was an American from Chicago, and I found him quite cute. He mentioned that the vibe in Italian bars was different from that in America, where people stand around chatting, while here, everyone sits at their tables talking with friends.
We chatted for about ten minutes before he said he wanted to explore the area, and we parted ways without exchanging contact information or any further story.
Since I had to leave for Berlin on Monday, I returned to Mono on Sunday night, and the bar was nearly empty. I chose to sit at a table outside, where I could watch the people coming and going in the gay district.
After a while, two friends who seemed to be slightly drunk arrived, appearing to be a couple or maybe friends with benefits. One very handsome guy casually greeted me with a "Ciao!" I replied with a "Ciao!" and felt quite happy, as it's rare for someone to initiate conversation in gay bars in China.
After they sat down, the handsome guy occasionally winked at me, and I smiled back. I guessed he was probably drunk, but it was definitely more interesting than sitting alone drinking.
A bit later, I noticed that one of the Musketeers had also arrived at the bar, smoking and looking a bit nervous. Soon, his two friends joined him, and they chose to sit outside, directly across from my table.
I initially thought something might happen between us that night, but then an Asian man passed by my table and kept staring at me. I politely smiled back and he came over and sat down next to me.
Since I had to catch a flight early the next morning, I planned to leave the bar soon. However, this Thai guy sat down and chatted with me for over an hour. I thought my chance with the Three Musketeers had come to an end.
Around 00:30 AM, I told the Thai guy I had to return to my hostel. He asked for my WhatsApp, saying he would reach out if he came to Berlin. I glanced over at the Musketeers' table as I prepared to leave when a cute Italian guy, slightly tipsy and dragging a suitcase, passed by. I asked him if he had stayed at my hostel recently, thinking he resembled one of my former roommates. He replied, "No, could he be my long-lost twin?" He was quite humorous and lovely. I asked if he knew this was a gay bar, and he said he did, adding, "I'm gay."
I realized that my Sunday night wasn't wasted after all.