"Really! What is he doing?" Luce ask in a slight irritation.
I couldn't fault her for it.
It had been four days and three nights since Chris retreated and locked himself up in his room.
We tried checking on him a few times, but each time, his eyes were empty, and he didn't even appear like someone who notice our intrusion.
There was nothing we could do to wake him, so we just left him alone.
But with only a few days left until the appointed time, we couldn't afford to wait any longer.
"Maria, your pacing is giving me a headache," I said softly, a smile curving my lips.
Her honey blonde hair flutter from side to side as she shake her head in response.
She was all nerves, her little hands wringing her cloak.
"I can't help it, I'm really worried," she murmured, her voice uneven.
"He's never been like this before," she continued.
"Like, never... Haaa... When I went into his room yesterday, he didn't, his eyes, I thought he was dead." Her sentences were a bit disjointed, probably due to her nervousness.
She moved again, with a gentle rhythm, her footsteps creating a soft cadence as she circled the room, hesitating every three paces with a slight pause on her left foot each time.
It was funny, but no one dared to make fun of her for it. Anymore.
Chris once gave a long, heartfelt speech on why we shouldn't after all.
Well, it all started when Lily commented on her quirky behaviors.
At the time Maria chuckled and just walked away, but Chris, well, I guess he felt the need to intervene.
So, he spoke passionately about the importance of sensitivity, he said that beneath the laughter, someone might be hiding their insecurities and feeling hurt.
He, said, "Though they may join in the laughter themselves, beneath the surface, they might have insecurities, they might also feel embarrassed and wounded by the joke also, I'm not only talking about Lily." He said, while looking directly in my eyes back then.
"Hey, you shouldn't say such thing Maria, you'll Jinx yourself." I prodded.
She send a side glance and lightly sigh.
"He's also entitled to a brooding," Luce suggested, her voice sharp as always, contrasting the docile one that of Maria.
But I could see a hint of unease in her eyes, even as she lied to Maria.
Lily, on the other hand, stayed silent, crossing her arms and locking her Glassy scarlet eyes on the floor.
The girl rarely spoke unless chris was there, because her words often seemed to come out only in a peculiar way, specifically at the wrong timings, leading to many misunderstandings.
But this time, the silence felt different—more emotionally charge as I perceived.
"I'll give it another go."
"umm, yeah. Good luck Licia." Said Maria.
""...""
--------
I rested my hand lightly against the door, feeling the cool wood beneath my fingers.
I opened the door and stepped inside.
The room was dim, bathed in the soft, muted light of dawn.
Like yesterday and the day before, Chris was by the window again, his silhouette a stark contrast against the pale sky.
Similarly, like the previous days, he didn't turn to acknowledge me.
"Chris, hey we need to leave soon."
He remained motionless, and after a moment, with a distant gaze, his deep hazel eyes turned slightly to the side, as if searching for something.
"Aah... Yeah, you're right actually." He replied simply, but the ease of his words left me feeling perplexed.
'Eh?!'
That easily? I thought he'd not notice me again. I didn't expect him to respond, but it was better than what I hoped for.
However, as if to contradict his earlier statement, he asked, "Do we? Actually."
His question carried a sharp edge that made me hesitate slightly, but I responded without delay regardless.
"Yes. The road is well maintained, so we'll just, it's a walking distance from here. Also, we can't afford to wait any longer, the Knights, they are intimidating the civillians."
He grunted slightly and grimaced, as if he was chewing something very unpleasant. "I really hate politics." He, after a moment, breath out in a whisper.
That was the first time he directly expressed his thought.
"... Well... Yes, it's unpleasant."
Even though he acted fine all this time, it made me realized how much the accusations still bothered him.
Maybe, he finally reach his limits. Perhaps that is the reason he retreated to his shell.
The Royal Knights too, they are also responsible for his current depression. They talk too much for a Man.
I clenched my fist, a wave of anger washing over me at the thought of how much they had wounded him.
Finally, he turned to face me, opening his mouth. "And what if I don't want to... go?~"
"Then we also won't," I said, choosing my words carefully and decisively, without hesitation.
"Pff..." he exhaled, as if releasing all the tension he had held inside. His somber expression shifted in an instant, as if a cloud had lifted.
I frowned at his sudden shift in demeanor. He didn't seem at all stable.
If it were up to me, I would have given him a few more days to regain his footing, but time is really not on our side.
My gaze naturally fell on the ground. Chewing my lower lips.
Forgive me.
Despite the earlier look of loss, his laughter continued to bubbled up from within him. "A ha ha ha," he chuckled, his voice rich with unexpected warmth.
He brushed away the funny tears that had gathered in his eyes, a mix of amusement and disbelief still lingering on his face.
"That's a funny thing to say Cecilia."
Cecilia? Why did he called me that? I look at him in suprised.
He, however, continued nonchalantly, "Because, you know? You are also a noble from the Kingdom."
"Even so, we're more worried about you. You haven't eaten or drunk anything for days now, and looking at you, you don't seem normal."
His lips twisted into a wry smile.
"Ayy?.... You were? Worried? About me? Ha ha ha." He laughed, his demeanor has now brightened considerably.
I moved closer, with a deliberate steps. "Yes, worried. You don't seem fine Chris. Look at yourself! I told you didn't I? Don't worry about it anymore."
He let out a soft, bitter laugh, sighed and said, "Aah... I apologize for making you worried, cecilia."
His words stung a little, though I couldn't quite grasp why. Well, I actually know why.
Masking the bitter feeling with a faint smile, I teased, "You're pardoned. If there is anything else bothering you. Would you not tell me what's it about?"
"No, guys got to have... Some things they want to hide." He replied immediately
"hhhnnnnggghh... nnnnngggghhh..."
With a groan, he rose from his relaxed posture with such a fluid grace that you would never have guessed he'd been sitting like that for days.
When he stood, he was just a bit taller than me.
He wasn't particularly muscular, nor was he skinny; instead, he possessed a lean, athletic build.
I often found myself reflecting on this, but it was his movements—subtle yet graceful—it was always magnetic somehow.
He stretch casually, twisting and shaking his waist and shoulders with a smooth and effortless movement.
"Is... that... so?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He met my gaze, his eyes locking onto mine. "Yes, that is so..."
So, he did have something bothering him beside that incident, that he hid.
I did not show my dissatisfaction similarly. "Just remember that we're your friends." I smiled, "We'll always help you, no matter what."
"Thh... Ha Ha Ha Ha... That so?"
He shook his head, struggling to contain his laughter, but it escaped him, and he continued chuckling for a while.
Then a shadow crossed his face. "Friends don't betray each other, right?"
What is he saying now?
I stiffened up, as the weight of his accusation, confirmation or whatever it is hang loosely in the air.
It took me a moment to respond. "We've never and will never betrayed you."
His eyes turned weird a brief moment before the walls came up again. "We leave at tomorrow, half past ten," he said, turning his head away.
I understand he is mentally taxed, I truly do, but it is not the time to rest anymore. We are already late.
"The knights—" I tried to pressed, hoping to reach him.
But he sighed and cut me off, a heavy sound that seemed to fill the room. "Don't make me say it twice."
The finality in his tone left no room for argument.
He was right; he had always listened to me, and I had grown accustomed to having my will followed.
But even this little fact frustrates me even more. I closed my eyes and steady my breathing.
It was my fault.
Maybe he was in trouble after all. However, not wanting to press any further, I turned to leave, a lump forming in my throat.
"Chris," I said, pausing at the door. "Whatever it is, just don't keep it inside. Ok? It will eat you."
He didn't respond, his silence louder than words.
As I stepped outside, the others have waited me there.
"You should've just come inside too if you're that worried." They looked at me expectantly.
"Well?" Luce asked, her eyes sharp.
"We leave tomorrow," I said, my voice steady.
"I see, Let's give him time." Luce commented.
Maria's shoulders relaxed slightly, while Lily nodded in silent agreement.