When Zhen Ai walked into the library, Yan Su was dressed in clean white clothes, sitting in a white wheelchair, his eyes lightly closed as if resting.
His leg was still wrapped in a thick plaster cast. She recalled that yesterday, he had just gotten out of bed and, seemingly in a bad mood, insisted on going home.
Zhen Ai found him inexplicably strange, but the most incredible part was that everyone, including the doctor, gave in to him. As a result, his private doctor and nurse followed him back home.
The doctor had said that the cast on his leg needed at least a month of rest before it could be removed. Upon hearing that, he immediately frowned. His eyes, cold as a blade, made the doctor's hair stand on end, and he spoke in a voice so cold it seemed to bite: "Why do I need this cumbersome thing restraining me for so long!"
The doctor coughed, "S.A., the healing of a fracture takes time. It's necessary..."
Yan Su interrupted quickly, "It's necessary to use an external fixation device to maintain the correct position of the fracture and prevent displacement. I know that better than you!" Wait, who was the doctor here? "But I know exactly what's going on with my bones! They're obedient and won't move out of place, so take it off immediately!"
The way he said it was like he was a robot who could just "clang" and take out parts of his body, tinker with them, and put them back in again.
But in fact, he was quite anxious. He had important things to do, and he had to quickly find various methods to solve the problem between him and Zhen Ai. Being stuck with a cast was too much of a hassle.
Haili had looked at her son for a while and, for some unknown reason, said, "Miss Zhen Ai also needs to recover. Since the doctor and nurse are already here at the castle, why not recuperate together for a month?"
Immediately, he fell silent and didn't protest anymore.
Now, he was sitting under the stained-glass window, resting his eyes, quiet and composed, not at all like the occasionally moody and unreasonable person he could be.
Zhen Ai stepped lightly, her feet silent on the carpet. But before she could approach, he was already aware of her presence. His dark lashes fluttered, and his amber eyes quietly met hers, as clear as the autumn sky.
Zhen Ai's heart skipped a beat, and she pressed her lips together.
The late spring, early summer sunlight streamed in. In the peaceful library, it was just the two of them—how nice.
She walked over and sat on the piano bench next to him. His leg, still bound in a plaster cast, rested on the bench, resembling the clumsy big foot of a stuffed bear in a display window. Zhen Ai couldn't help herself; she reached out and gently touched the hard, cool surface of the cast, feeling an odd warmth and fluttering in her heart.
Slowly, she stroked the cast on his leg, feeling a strange sweetness inside. She didn't dare look at him and lowered her gaze, asking softly, "Does it still hurt?"
Yan Su shook his head. "No, does yours?"
Zhen Ai quickly moved her arm, showing him, "The bandages just look scary, but it's not a serious injury at all."
As she moved, she turned her head and noticed several tall stacks of books on the floor beside the piano. They were all contemporary women's romance novels, the most prominent being Julie Garwood's complete works: *The Gift*, *The Bride*, *Obsession*... and more.
The titles... *The Gift*, *The Bride*, *Obsession*...
Zhen Ai quietly raised her eyebrows. He reads these?
After pondering for a while, she couldn't help but ask, "Did you read all of them?"
"Yes," Yan Su answered honestly, nodding. "All 65 of them."
"Every single word?"
"Every single word."
Zhen Ai's mouth fell open. He had only been home for less than a day…
But knowing how fast he read, she wasn't that surprised. She sat on the carpet, looking at the thick stacks of books, flipping through one casually. "Are you tired of reading them? When I came in, you had your eyes closed."
Yan Su shook his head. "Oh, I was clearing my brain's memory, deleting everything I read today." He added, "Permanently."
Zhen Ai frowned and looked up at him. "Why?"
He gazed at her face, glowing softly in the sunlight. The faint frustration in his heart dissipated a little but quickly returned. Hmph, these useless books… They were of no help at all.
Suppressing his irritation, he calmly explained, "They're all things that are useless to me. They take up space in my brain."
Hmph! None of them featured a genius cryptologist and behavior analyst as the male lead, nor a brilliant biologist with a mysterious and tragic background as the female lead in a romance!
The male leads were always dukes, generals, prosecutors, or priests. The female leads were either orphans, princesses, doctors, or socialites. None of them had anything to do with their situation.
There was no value in learning from them! After reading so much, he still didn't understand!
He closed his eyes in frustration, angrily deleting the "useless books" from his memory.
Zhen Ai had no idea what was going on with him and shrugged, deciding not to disturb his "disk cleanup."
She had never read a romance novel before, so she was a bit curious. Picking up a book at random, she read the title out loud to herself, "E.L. James, *Fifty Shades of Grey*. Is this one good?"
Yan Su immediately opened his eyes, quickly snatching the book from her hands. Zhen Ai, startled, stared at her now-empty hands, then looked up at him, puzzled. Realizing he had overreacted, Yan Su cleared his throat awkwardly. "You can't read that one."
Zhen Ai blinked. "Why not?"
"It's a…" Yan Su hesitated for a long time. His fair face suddenly flushed red as he coughed, "It's an, uh… soft erotic novel."
Zhen Ai's dark eyes blinked slowly, and after a long moment, she softly said, "Oh," in an expression of sudden understanding. The look on her face made Yan Su feel inexplicably suffocated, like he had swallowed an egg whole and it was stuck in his throat.
But no matter what, he couldn't let her read it.
The story was about a college girl who interviewed a businessman, leading to an S/M relationship. The heroine's background was too close to Zhen Ai's outward identity—what if she tried to imitate it? But he, Yan Su, wasn't a businessman!!
He absolutely couldn't let Zhen Ai emulate the heroine and get lured into S/M by a businessman.
"Alright, I won't read it then," Zhen Ai said obediently, her head tilted like a little rabbit. She continued to sift through the books, her gaze drawn to another title. She was about to reach for it when Yan Su snatched it away again, even faster this time.
"What's that one?" Zhen Ai asked, full of curiosity.
"That one… you can't read it either," Yan Su responded, like a husband caught reading a risqué magazine by his wife, hurriedly tossing the book aside.
"I saw the title," Zhen Ai pouted. "*The Story of O*!"
She rested her chin on her hand, looking up at Yan Su. "Hey, you're blushing!"
"Tch! It's the sun!" he retorted awkwardly, shooting her a glance. His refined face grew even redder under the sunlight.
Zhen Ai chuckled softly. "So, it's also a… soft erotic novel?"
A flicker of discomfort crossed Yan Su's face as he rubbed his nose and, with honest candor, admitted, "That one… isn't soft anymore…"
When Zhen Ai's eyes sparkled, her body unconsciously leaned over the stack of books toward him, her curiosity piqued. "What's it about? Why is she called Miss O? That code name is so strange—does it involve some kind of secret organization?"
Yan Su's face reddened, but he answered her curiosity with complete honesty:
"Well, the story is about a beautiful girl, code-named O, who is sent by her boyfriend R to a castle. There, she encounters a group of people—essentially an S&M organization—who subject her to various rituals and ceremonies of abuse, training her to become a sex slave. Miss O endures everything willingly because she loves her boyfriend R. Later, R hands her over to his brother, S, and still, Miss O complies willingly..."
Bathed in the colorful sunlight, Yan Su sat in his wheelchair, looking down at her with gentle eyes, while she sat on the floor, leaning her elbows on the stack of books, resting her head on her arm, listening with quiet concentration.
She listened carefully, but at a certain moment, her mind began to wander.
From an outsider's perspective, the idea of such a secret organization was laughable. But thinking of her own experience living in the S.P.A. organization for 17 years, she realized she had never questioned its absurdity.
In that organization, she also had a code name: Miss C.
At this moment, she couldn't help but wonder—what kind of person was Miss O in that story? Was she like her, trapped in a deep and murky situation without even realizing it, perhaps even finding some strange satisfaction in it?
Ah, the human mind is truly a curious thing. You might think someone pitiful and tragic, but if their worldview differs from yours, they accept their fate without question. Who's right or wrong is not always clear. Zhen Ai couldn't figure it out.
But... why had he suddenly decided to read this kind of book today?
"Yan Su?" she called softly, hesitantly.
"Hmm?"
She lifted her head, adopting a casual tone as she asked, "Do you think men are attracted to women who are easy to control?"
Yan Su immediately raised an eyebrow. "Who said that? That's possession, not attraction, and definitely not love." Perhaps sensing that his words were too absolute, he added, "At least, that's how I see it—it's not true love."
Zhen Ai smiled but didn't ask any more questions.
Ever since hearing him give a public lecture at Columbia, she knew that in his heart, true love was the natural attraction between two similar souls. It wasn't about submission, pleasing, or bending. It was about freedom, equality, and independence.
But...
"So... what exactly attracted you to these books?" Zhen Ai hesitated but finally asked.
Yan Su froze for a moment, then nearly jumped out of his chair. "Hey, I don't have any kind of S or M fetish!"
Zhen Ai: ...
She blinked awkwardly, feeling flustered. "Uh, you didn't need to tell me that... After all, it has nothing to do with me..."
Yan Su stiffened, and his face flushed even redder.
"It has nothing to do with you!" He closed his eyes with a sullen expression.
The air seemed to chill around them.
Zhen Ai was completely baffled. She had no idea what had upset him but found it amusing how he pouted in silence. Considering his emotional intelligence was so low, she figured she ought to comfort him.
Immediately, she rummaged through the stack of books, exclaiming in an exaggerated tone, "Wow, what a peculiar book title!"
Yan Su opened his eyes lazily. Under the sunlight, her eyes sparkled as she held up a book, grinning at him. "Yan Su, look at this—'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.' Isn't that a weird title?"
Staring at her rosy face, Yan Su felt his heart soften again, though he still raised his chin arrogantly, pretending to be unimpressed. "Actually, in astronomy, the symbol for Venus is ♀, representing women, and the northeast symbol ♂ represents Mars for men. That's probably where the title comes from. But," he huffed, "while the title has a bit of creativity, it lacks logic. As for the content, I have no idea what the author is even trying to say."
The self-help book, having offered relationship guidance to millions, lay silently in Zhen Ai's hands. In its metaphorical heart, it was sweating: *I've helped countless people with their emotions, but with this guy, I'm at a loss!*
The author of the book would probably be devastated to know how disastrously low Yan Su's emotional intelligence was.
"Oh, so it's a boring book." Zhen Ai casually tossed it aside, then pondered, "But I suppose not all men are from Mars, right?"
Yan Su: "Huh?"
Zhen Ai chuckled lightly. "I think you're probably from Jupiter, Yan Su. Haha!"
She was calling him... wooden-headed?
Yan Su's face instantly went blank. He closed his eyes again, ignoring her.
At this point, there was no way he could tell her that in less than a day, he had not only read many books but also searched the internet for various romantic guides. From buying gifts to saying sweet things, the options were endless. Yet, to him, every one of them seemed dull and insincere.
They all felt too calculated, as if they were just ploys to win Zhen Ai over, like she was a naive little bunny who would hop into his arms as soon as he gave her a carrot.
But his Zhen Ai wasn't some simple-minded rabbit! Besides, he didn't want to win her over with material gifts.
Unfortunately, while his intelligence allowed him to dismiss countless romantic strategies, his emotional intelligence failed to produce a brilliant alternative.
Sitting in the sunlight with his eyes closed, his mind spun in blue and red streams of consciousness.
He was truly frustrated. Ah, if only he were a caveman. If he fancied someone like Zhen Ai, he could just knock her out with a club and carry her back to his cave.
He suddenly opened his eyes and declared firmly, "I want to be a caveman!"
Zhen Ai tilted her head, raising her eyebrows in confusion. "Cavemen don't wear clothes, though."
Yan Su: ... His face twitched, and he corrected himself. "I want to be a caveman who wears clothes." ...And then carry Zhen Ai back to his cave.
But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt an overwhelming sense of self-disgust. Such a crude and barbaric method—how could it disrespect millions of years of human evolution?
With a deep frown, he closed his eyes again, sulking.
Zhen Ai had no idea what was going on in his mind. Just as she was about to strike up another conversation, a nurse arrived, holding bandages and scissors, seemingly ready to change the dressing on Yan Su's chest. Zhen Ai stepped aside but noticed that the nurse simply left the items on a table before walking away.
She frowned. Was the nurse expecting the patient to change his own dressing? How irresponsible. Watching the nurse's retreating figure, Zhen Ai felt indignant. "Let me help you change it!" she offered before quickly turning around, only to find Yan Su halfway through unbuttoning his white shirt. Hearing her words, he paused, looking up at her in surprise.
Zhen Ai felt a bit embarrassed, suddenly realizing that Yan Su didn't like others touching him unless absolutely necessary. That nurse must have been familiar with his temperament, which was why she left without a word.
But here she was, volunteering herself...
To her surprise, Yan Su looked at her for half a second and then, quite naturally, withdrew his hand, sitting calmly and quietly. His shirt was half undone, revealing his chest and the white bandages underneath.
He watched her in silence, waiting for her to come over and help him remove his shirt and change his bandages.
Zhen Ai really did move closer and sat down in front of him. Her heart was pounding, but her hands were steady as she unbuttoned his shirt one button at a time and carefully began to remove the old bandages.
He was tall, and usually, when he wore a long coat, he looked especially thin, like a walking stick. But now, she noticed his body wasn't weak at all. His chest muscles were firm and well-defined, and his abs were impressively toned.
Her face flushed, and her heart raced as her hands trembled. Several times, she accidentally brushed against his skin, which felt warm and solid. The more flustered she became, the more clumsy her movements.
He continued to watch her, still and silent, without any expression.
When she finally removed all the bandages, Zhen Ai's heart ached sharply as she saw his chest and back, covered in scars from previous surgeries, both new and old. The sight of those deep scars was shocking. A few years ago, the explosion had left him severely wounded, almost costing him his life. Yet just a few days ago, he had once again charged into danger without hesitation.
Was it for her? She didn't dare ask.
Silently, she replaced his bandages, her heart heavy with sorrow, but she forced herself to lighten the mood by joking, "Hey Yan Su, isn't this how the people playing the role of M are treated in the books you read?"
Yan Su's face immediately darkened. "I already told you, I don't have that kind of fetish!"
Zhen Ai chuckled, "I know, I know!"
Yan Su still felt dissatisfied with her dismissive tone and protested, "Hmph, you've lost your right to touch me!" He reached to handle the bandages himself, but after considering their future, he added quietly, "For the next six hours."
Zhen Ai burst out laughing and stopped him, making him sit back down. "Alright, I'm sorry! I won't say it again. How about I apply to reduce the time limit to six seconds?"
Yan Su kept a straight face, "Approved!"
So stubborn!
Zhen Ai looked up at the colorful stained glass windows and the high, bright blue sky above, then quickly counted aloud, "1, 3, 4, 5, 6—time's up!" She finished counting and immediately resumed her task.
Carefully and methodically, she wound the bandages around his body, her heart aching again at the sight of those deep scars. Suddenly, she had the urge to kiss them, a thought that startled her.
She couldn't help but think back on the past few months with him: the first time she didn't want to work and took time off to go to New York with him; walking through the dark maze and almost bursting into tears when she heard his voice; being pinned down by Amper, her heart turning icy cold upon hearing he was in danger, and the furious, venomous way she'd stabbed the virus-filled syringe into King's wrist...
Maybe, just maybe, she liked him?
Her heartbeat became erratic as this realization dawned on her, a discovery both bright and melancholic.
She was so dark and insignificant, while he was so radiant and warm. And yet, because of that, even though she felt like she was in the dust, her heart was filled with joy.
Smiling, both happy and sad, she secretly tied a bow at the back of his bandages and carefully wrote in blue marker, "A gift for Zhen Ai."
If only she could really tie him up with that bow and take him away, how wonderful that would be.
If this man were hers, how wonderful that would be.
But, if you won't respond to me, then may you never know.