"I'm thirsty," I tried again, a little more dramatically.
"No."
Okay, fine.
"I have to pee," I added with what I thought was convincing urgency.
The second guard, who hadn't spoken yet, raised a brow.
"Hold it."
"Hold it? What am I, a camel?"
Silence.
"Ugh, I think I'm getting nauseous…" I pressed a hand to my forehead, leaning dramatically against the wall like some tragic heroine.
"No."
"You guys are no fun, you know that?" I sighed and slumped down onto the cold stone floor, my legs curled beneath me.
"Why am I even in here?"
The two guards exchanged a glance, and before I could say anything else, a deep, cold voice cut through the air.
"I ordered it."
I flinched.
The emperor.
Of course, he had to show up, didn't he?
There he was, standing in front of the cell, his crimson eyes practically boring a hole into my skull.
He was intimidating in a way that made your knees want to give out, and not in a romantic way—more like a don't mess with me or you'll die way.
He folded his arms, the armor clinking slightly as his gaze remained fixed on me.
"Oh, great," I muttered under my breath. "Just what I needed—his royal grumpiness."
"I heard that."
Oops.
"Um… I mean, what a lovely surprise, Your Majesty! So, uh, any chance you're here to let me go?"
"No."
I groaned internally but forced a smile.
"Well, can I at least get something to eat?"
"No."
"Water?"
"No."
"Pee?"
He narrowed his eyes at that one.
"You may relieve yourself in the corner."
I winced.
No, thank you.
"Then why are you here?" I asked, my heart speeding up.
If he was here, it couldn't be good.
This man didn't do casual visits, especially not to dungeons.
"To inform you," he said coldly, "that I have ordered a doctor to come and verify your... claim."
The blood drained from my face.
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
My brilliant plan to avoid getting decapitated by faking pregnancy was about to backfire in the worst possible way.
My mouth went dry.
"W-what?"
The emperor's lip curled in slight amusement, though his eyes remained deadly.
"You claimed to be carrying my child, did you not?"
I swallowed hard.
"Uh, yes…?"
"Good. If you're lying, I'll have you executed immediately. If you're telling the truth…"
His voice trailed off, and he didn't bother to finish the sentence.
Because there was no other option.
I was lying.
And he knew it.
And if this doctor came in and checked my pulse or… or whatever medieval fantasy science they used, I was dead meat.
The emperor's gaze was sharp, and for a moment, I felt like he could see right through me.
"The doctor will be here shortly. You have until then to prepare yourself."
Prepare myself?
How was I supposed to prepare myself for this?
As soon as the emperor turned to leave, my brain went into overdrive.
Think, think, think!
How was I going to convince a medieval fantasy doctor that I was pregnant?
I wasn't a magician, I wasn't a healer, and I definitely wasn't pregnant!
But maybe—just maybe—I could use some good old-fashioned science to save my neck.
I wracked my brain for every tiny bit of information I could remember from high school biology.
If I couldn't convince them with magic, I'd convince them with biology.
Nerves.
They check the nerves or the pulse to see if someone's telling the truth, right?
Okay, I could work with that.
Heart rate increases when you're nervous, but it also increases when you're pregnant, right?
And nausea!
Pregnant women get nauseous all the time!
I stood up quickly, pacing back and forth in the small space.
Alright.
Time to fake it until I make it.
A few minutes later, the door to the dungeon opened, and in walked the doctor—an old man with a thick beard and tired eyes.
Behind him, the emperor stood, arms crossed, watching me with that same cold, calculating gaze.
The doctor approached me, his hands carrying a small bag of tools and vials.
"We shall proceed," he said in a monotonous tone.
"Your pulse, first."
I held out my hand, trying to steady my breathing as best I could.
"I'm pregnant," I muttered under my breath, hoping that saying it out loud would somehow make it true.
He placed his fingers on my wrist, feeling my pulse.
I closed my eyes and focused, thinking about everything that made me anxious—death, the emperor, this whole situation, and sure enough, my heart rate began to race.
I could feel it pounding in my ears.
Come on, come on, just buy it!
The doctor paused, then tilted his head slightly.
"Hmm."
The emperor raised an eyebrow.
"What is it?"
The doctor looked up at me, his expression unreadable.
"Her pulse… it is elevated.
Quite high."
Yes!
I silently cheered.
But then the doctor frowned, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Why is your pulse so rapid, my lady?"
Oh no.
I needed to act.
Fast.
"Uh, it's because I'm pregnant!" I blurted out.
"I mean, it's been happening a lot recently—nausea, dizziness, cravings… oh, the cravings!"
I grabbed my stomach, rubbing it for added effect.
"I just… I just get so nervous around you, Your Majesty.
You know, hormones and all that."
The doctor narrowed his eyes, clearly skeptical.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a vial, sniffing its contents briefly.
"We shall confirm with this."
I watched as he dabbed some liquid onto a strip of cloth, then held it to my skin.
My heart pounded in my chest.
Please, please, please, let this work!
The cloth darkened slightly, and the doctor stared at it for a long moment before nodding.
"It seems… she may indeed be pregnant, Your Majesty."
My jaw dropped.
Wait… what?
The emperor's eyes flickered briefly with surprise before his face returned to its usual cold demeanor.
"Very well.
Keep her under observation.
If she is lying, I will execute her personally."
I nodded frantically, trying to suppress the giddy relief that washed over me.
The doctor had bought it!
Somehow, some way, I had managed to manipulate my way out of death—for now.
As the emperor and doctor left the dungeon, I slumped against the wall, wiping the sweat from my brow.
"Holy crap," I whispered to myself. "I'm a genius."
Now, all I had to do was figure out how to keep this charade going…