Despite his own insistence, or rather the insistence of his Lycan half that seemed to slip out of its cage now and then, Ronan couldn't disregard the undeniable pull of attraction he felt towards Vivian.
Initially, it was his idea to have Vivian wrap her arms around his neck, yet he didn't account for the fact that her plump breasts, barely concealed by her hair, would be pressed against his chest.
He could feel the supple softness, the way her breasts curved and how they were shaped. There was some firmness to the shape but an underlayer of softness.
Ronan cleared his throat.
He could hear Vivian's rapidly thumping heartbeat, the heat emanating from her body and the smooth texture of her fingers brushing over his nape as she clung to him.
Let me out completely. Ronan's Lycan half demanded, almost snarling at him threateningly.
No. You can't keep slipping out whenever you please just to be with her. Ronan argued back, meticulously removing the old dressings from Vivian's back.
She likes me more. She can tell there's a difference between you and me. The Lycan in him insisted, fighting for its rightful dominance. I'm not going to hurt her.
Without further debate and arguing, Ronan decided to compromise just for once. He was averse to the idea of his Lycan half interacting with Vivian; however, he wasn't willing to risk losing control by fighting with the bloody beast.
He liked his Lycan better when the beast's snout was sealed shut for years.
For now, he would allow it to take over his conscious mind.
They switched and Ronan's pupils altered into a more beastly feature, still projecting its glow.
The Lycan was in control.
Vivian winced, her nails sinking into the sinewed muscles on Ronan's back.
"Easy," Ronan's deep voice said gently, slowing down his movements. "Take deep breaths, little wolf."
Little wolf. It's his Lycan. Vivian thought.
The she-wolf tried, but as the pain built, it grew into more of a tense struggle.
"Sssh, let's take a break," Ronan suggested, tenderly cradling her head against his shoulder. "We don't have to rush this, little wolf."
"No, keep going," Vivian insisted, gnashing her teeth through the pain. "Just get it over with."
The sooner and faster her burns were redressed, the better.
"Hey," Ronan said, running a soothing hand down her hair. "This is about helping you, not harming you. Let's see if we can make it a little easier. We'll cover and re-bandage as we go. That'll help ease the pain."
Ronan's Lycan is kind. He talks to me more. Vivian made another observation, slowly nodding in response.
Ronan spread the cooling ointment across the first two burns and Vivian groaned in relief, her shoulders sagging.
"Better?" The Lycan asked, pulling back slightly to search her expression for an answer.
"Much better."
"You should have told me the pain was that bad. We could have stopped earlier."
Vivian shrugged. "It wasn't as bad as all that."
The answer didn't seem to satisfy the Lycan Alpha.
"You do understand that you're not to be blamed for what happened to that Wickan?" Ronan pointed out, his fingers combing through the strands of her hair as she relaxed in his arm, no longer ashamed of their intimate contact. "Just because it was your brother doesn't imply that you're the one to be guilty."
"I know that," Vivian replied acerbically, burying her face against his shoulder. If she knew, then why did every instinct in her scream at her, saying, You deserve it!
"So, you're telling me you're not intentionally punishing yourself by not telling me when the ointment is wearing off and when the pain returns?" Ronan arched his brow.
Vivian didn't answer, resorting to silence because she was painfully aware that Ronan's words bore the bitter truth.
She was punishing herself for a crime not committed by her hand.
A crime she almost died for.
"There's no sign of healing," Ronan said at length. "They look just as bad as when I first set eyes on them."
There wasn't much hope for her, was there?
"Do you think they'll be able to do anything? Your coven friends."
"They will do what they can," Ronan replied, completing the dressings on the front of her body before he helped her back into her clothes.
The Lycan's hands lingered on her back as he eased the shirt down over her bandaged skin.
Fragile little wolf. He said to himself.
"Why do you always find a surface to make me stand or sit on when we're talking?" Vivian posed a random question, lifting her head up to peer into the glowing amber of the Lycan's eyes. "You also kneel... like you're trying to be the same height as me."
"To show you that I respect you," Ronan answered her sincerely. He tipped her chin up higher and bent down, his lips brushing over hers in a soft, claiming kiss, to which she closed her eyes and reciprocated the gesture.
It was the simplest and softest touches of their lips, yet Vivian felt as if her heart would burst out of her chest at any moment.
Ronan pulled back shortly afterwards, taking her hand into his.
"Come, let's eat."
The rest of the time passed in silence, interrupted only by the wind howling wildly outside and the start of a rain shower. The temperature plummeted rapidly as Vivian settled down to sleep sometime after their dinner.
She couldn't drift off into slumber, cold, despite the heat radiating from the fire.
Ronan, on the other hand, was sitting near the mouth of the cave, staring out into the dark.
Vivian sensed that Ronan himself wasn't exactly content with her or the situation. And who could blame him? He'd finally found his true mate, but she was so damaged and broken beyond repair that she might catch her death soon.
Despite what Ronan said, she was undoubtedly a disappointment, to find what he was searching for all this time, after all that anticipation and waiting only to discover Vivian at the end of it.
The Lycan Alpha ought to have been enraged by the whole affair.