If you could pick one phrase to describe a God, Goddess, Deity, whatever you want to call it—
What would you say?
All knowing? Omnipotent? The one true lord? An all powerful being that could vaporize you with a look? WRONG! All of it!
It doesn't even come close to what a god is, they're much more human than one expects. The true phrase? Nerds, playwrights, and creators. You think your god just made your world for no reason? Absolutely not! They don't care for you!
Your world was made for one glorious purpose only… The Interstellar Stars Story Of The Year Award!
Gods make your world to tell a story, they add dungeon breaks and put in every piece of drama to keep it entertaining. Your existence was, and still is for the gods entertainment! Such as a lazy human lounging and watching the television, a god simply binges the sad lives of the tiny insignificant beings that took less than 0.00004ths of a gods total power to make.
Like a…soap opera, or so you humans would say. Usually a god such as myself wouldn't speak to you on such a casual manner, in fact I already did you a great service by not making you bow down at my feet and start begging to hear my voice!—er read my story in this case. I'm quite generous, honestly.
Ah, before I go on I should probably give you the honor of knowing my name! How else are you going to set up your shrines for me, and sacrifice your little human foods that have no meaning to me?—What's with that though, I can't eat? I get offerings of fruit that are human sized, and useless to me—Despite your many grievances, the recognition is the least I could get.
Nepri at your service! Or more like you're at my service, really…
You may recognize the name, you may not! If you do, they you my good friend are one hell of a mythology buff. Throw out all your expectations of me though, as my name probably brings only one version of me. A bad version.
I wrote that version of me for the Big Greek Bash like… thousands of years ago, honestly it's so outdated! Plus, what I write myself as isn't how I truly am!
Dont believe everything you see online! Apollo isn't as egotistical as you think he is, he's actually really humble. Oh! And also is a DJ for my parties, which I would invite you to if your minds wouldn't explode at the sight of us.
What else…?
Seth, yknow the big bad of Egyptian mythology? Or whatever he writes, I dont read it, to be honest—Don't tell him I said that—he's actually a guy who enjoys sunbathing on the weekends, and swimming. Also, in all the worlds he does make, he's only an evil god in like 7 of them. Which might seem like a lot, but that's out of like… 574? Don't quote me on that.
Oh! And Hades and Persephone are actually hitched, it's not just in the stories. They co write, and despite what that bastard Zeus might say they're actually THE oldest gods. Really, they're like an old married couple if gods actually conformed to the concept of age.
Usually the reader would expect a story, and not the writer talking to them. However, if you fail to remember… I am in fact a god, and therefore omnipotent, all seeing, and powerful and can do whatever I want— what?
Just because you failed to come up with a proper descriptor for all my amazing traits doesn't mean I'm not all powerful. Those are just one of my beautiful uncomprehnsible way better then a humans skills, you fail to appreciate the whole package!
Get with the times, I could be anything I wanted to! No, really. I could technically be anything I want to be. You're acting like its hard!
Though truly, as a creator of such amazing worlds I could insert myself into any of them! With any role, background, and appearance. The problem is, as it stands, I am considered a class big fat F of a writer. I've never won an award, nor have I even gotten past the first audition stage.
I know, I know! At this point im starting to feel like it's favoritism, or racism. Godcism? GAH—whatever! It's not like it matters!
I'm perfectly fine with being a no good, horrible excuse, sack of lard for a writer!
It's not like the award will bring me fame and recognition or anything, even if that's the one thing in life a god craves oh so desperately… let's just face it! Im a horrible storyteller, and the only thing I can do is write plagiarized copies of amazing works!
I mean, COME ON! A million gods out there, and I choose to do an isekai? Technically they don't even come from another world! Its just made up in their mind, and we just decided to reward him for it? Give them ultimate powers and a harem full of big breasted women? Where's the taste? The drama?
Don't even get me started on the names, honestly.
There are a few who can undoubtedly pull it off, but unfortunately I am not one of them. Which is a shame, but I didn't need them anyways! Stupid genres.
The award ceremony is coming up in four years though, and I've yet to finish! My story is practically barebones…And yes, I can already hear your thoughts
"Oh but Nepri, my number one savior and a super hot kind celestial being, four years is a long time!"
For you!
Four years is like a month for me!—not even. Us gods have lived longer then you guys can comprehend, the concept of time within itself is fake.
If you think a month is a long time too, then you need to stop doing assignments the day before its due. Think of it like… building a spaceship from scratch in a month. You think we don't write the magic systems, and each personality?
Your backstory is written by someone else too! I also need to design each human on earth, can't have them all be faceless and designless. Though, y'know how some people have very close look alikes? Yeah, that's my fault.
I never said I was creative. Though that should be one factor you should have as a writer—Whatever! At least i dont hire other gods to design the species for me (cough cough Anu cough)
But enough about that, what about my problems? Hmm? Im in distress!
Ive got the magic system and the world building down, and most people have personalities—maybe.. I've even got most of the main cast! It's just… The villain.
The antagonist, the evil side!— whatever you want to call it. I just can't get it right! There are many kinds of villains, such as the merciless bastards who do it for fun, the misunderstood ones who've been wronged by the world, the unexpected twist ones… etc etc
Mine is.. unfinished. He's got no backstory, no personality! His name is literally 'No Nameson' in my files! Ugh— maybe Anu was smart. Maybe he should've hired other gods to write his characters. They surely would've given him a better name than 'No Nameson'
Unfortunately, I dont have time to test out personalities and find one that fits during the short period he has left.. but they're is an experimental method.
Surely you must remember how I said I could be anything I wanted to? Well, usually that's for minor side characters, ones that show up once. OR, a narrator type character. However, it doesn't have to be some unimportant no named loser, or an omnipotent narrator. No, it could be anyone..
I could be anyone—Including the villain.
It's been done before, and has been received well! Apollo starred as Apollo in that one series you all like so much, though I dont bother to remember which.. That story was wonderful, and was entertaining enough! Some didn't like it, but it was a work of art.
Though I am amazing and endlessly talented, there's a chance I wont be able to pull it off—no, of course I can! What am I thinking? I'm great!
Plus, this way I can fix all the plot holes… yes.
This plan, this wonderful magnificent plan (composed by yours truly) has to work!