Dumbledore opened and closed his mouth, looking at Harry with trepidation and horror. "Now, Harry, let's not exaggerate. The tournament is extremely dangerous. It's honorable of you to cover up for Mr. Malfoy…"
"Don't bring Draco into this," Harry snarled. "I am the Fourth Triwizard Champion. And I will win."
Professor McGonagall looked at him, extremely bewildered. Harry felt a spasm of guilt. The professor had been extremely helpful to him over the years and a darn good teacher, even if in his opinion she was spread a little thin. "Harry…please. Lily wouldn't have wanted you to put yourself in danger like this."
Harry wanted to say something smug and snappy, but he really couldn't bring himself to do it. He would have felt like a real git if he'd done it. "What's done is done, professor," he said instead. "You heard the headmaster. This is a binding magical contract. Even if you want to get me out of that, there's nothing that can be done."
Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "We'll just see about that. I can be quite persistent when I want to be. I'm sure there's some loophole." Harry deeply hoped she would find one, but he doubted she would. He wasn't that lucky. "Don't think you won't be getting detention for this, Mr. Potter." Harry inclined his head in acceptance; he'd brought that on himself. From her perspective, it was more than reasonable.
"I'm afraid there is no loophole, deputy headmistress," Mr. Crouch said apologetically but firmly. "Mr. Potter will have to compete. He brought this on himself."
"He is fourteen!" Professor McGonagall snarled. "Do not tell me a fourteen year old deserves to die because he made one mistake!"
The room exploded into more arguments. Harry just leaned against the wall with a smug smirk. He proceeded to wink at both Fleur and Viktor; they were both very attractive, after all. Viktor more so, in his opinion; he came by his beauty naturally. Flirting with people was what arrogant jocks like Harry was pretending to be did, right? Not that he'd actually go about pestering them; he wasn't an asshole. Just a little light flirtation here and there wouldn't kill anyone. It'd probably make Draco jealous too. Wait, where had that thought come from?
"…I have half a mind to leave now!" Karkaroff screamed.
"Empty threat, Karkaroff," a voice growled from near the door. Harry looked over at Moody and gulped. If anyone could see through his ruse, it would be an ex-Auror like him. "You can't leave your champion. He's got to compete. Binding magical contract, like Dumbledore said. Convenient, eh?"
"Convenient?" Karkaroff said. "I'm afraid I don't understand you, Moody."
"Don't you?" Moody said as he walked towards the fireplace. "It's very simple, Karkaroff. Someone put Potter's name in that goblet knowing he'd have to compete if it came out."
Harry put the same smirk he'd seen on some photographs of James Potter on his face. By the apoplectic look on Snape's face, it was quite effective. "Oh, that was me," he said jauntily. "Hi!"
Moody blinked several times, looking quite stunned, but he recovered swiftly. "Now why would you do a silly thing like that, laddie? Don't you know how many people have died in this tournament?!"
Harry shrugged. "I was bored. Now is there anything else you need? Cause I've got one heck of a party to attend in Gryffindor Tower, I reckon."
Professor McGonagall grabbed Harry by the arm tightly. "Oh, you most certainly do not, Potter. You will be too busy in detention to attend any parties for the foreseeable future." Harry pretended to sulk, but internally, he was quite relieved. That party seemed like a miserable experience. The less he had to face his peers and lie to them, the better.
Professor McGonagall practically dragged Harry to her office. "I know you did not put your name in that goblet, Mr. Potter," she said, fixing Harry with her most stern look.
Harry thought about lying, but shook his head. "Sorry about lying, professor. I just…I just got so sick of crap just happening to me! I figure, if stuff is gonna happen to me, I might as well get something out of it."
"What you did in there was not a smart move, Harry," Professor McGonagall said, but her expression had softened somewhat. "You made a mockery of the three most important educational institutions in magical Europe. To say nothing of our own government."
"And right now, they are aching to take me down a peg by finding a way to remove me from the tournament," Harry shot back. "I don't know enough about magical contract law to get me out of this thing, so I'm using them to do the work for me. Professor, I really don't want to be in this tournament. This was the best solution I could come up with."
Professor McGonagall gave an infinitesimally brief smile. "Quite the Slytherin style plan."
"Well, the Hat did almost put me in that house," Harry revealed.
"Like your mother before you," Professor McGonagall said with a warmer, longer smile. "Well, your detention will stand, but as I have broad authority over what occurs in my detentions, I believe I will give you some extra Transfiguration lessons. Goodness knows with this tournament, you'll need all the help you can get."
"Thank you, professor. And again, I'm sorry for the position I put you in. I really hope this can be cleared up soon."