Harry let out a deep sigh as he tried to gather his thoughts. Sirius was still holding him close, and he couldn't help but soak up the comfort his godfather provided. The only sound in the room now was the clock on the wall that ticked the seconds away.
In a matter of less than twenty-four hours, his world had come apart at the seams and had turned itself completely upside down. At this time yesterday, he had been preparing for the third task of the Triwizard Tournament. His stomach had been tying itself in knots as he wondered whether he'd be able to accept the challenges of the task. He'd had no possible idea that things could go so horrifically wrong.
Yes, he had been worried for what was to come, but never in his wildest and most lurid nightmares would he have expected last night's tragedy to occur. He remembered the words of Ludo Bagman as he had given the champions a pep talk before going into the maze. "This will change you," he had said. "You might never be the same after this night." Harry's reaction to this melodramatic statement was to almost snort with laughter; Bagman had spoken as though the champions had to save themselves from the apocalypse.
But, Harry reflected sadly, Bagman didn't know how right he was. Last night had changed him. He'd honestly thought he knew what evil was; he'd heard plenty about the vile deeds Voldemort and his Death Eaters performed. But to see it happen right in front of his eyes was something completely different. He'd never forget the weight of Cedric's lifeless body in his arms, that final look of terror on his face a testament to the power evil could hold.
And now, less than a day later, events had spun even more out of control, and he was now in hiding. Sirius had taken him away from Hogwarts, and to a place he had never set foot in before. He'd taken him away from the murder accusations, from the people who didn't believe Voldemort was back. Here, in the safety and comfort of Sirius's arms, there was no one howling for his blood or telling him he was dangerous to hang around with.
Truth be told, Harry had never been more relieved in his entire life. But this thought also made a well of self-loathing rise up inside of him. He was a coward, plain and simple, wasn't he? He should have been able to face those Aurors with the strength to fight for himself. He should have been willing to tell them in no uncertain terms that Voldemort was back. Cedric Diggory was only the first casualty in the war that was about to wreak havoc on both the wizarding and Muggle worlds.
But he hadn't. He hadn't fought at all. With a pang, he remembered Ron's words: "Aren't you going to fight this?" Those words had hit him hard, because he knew the Harry of twenty-four hours ago would have fought with everything he had in him. But right now, he seemed to have no strength left. He felt shattered and broken, and needed to find a way to put himself back together. Sirius had offered him an out, and he had taken it.
And it honestly seemed to him as though Sirius didn't think any worse of him because of it. In fact, he seemed extremely vehement in making Harry understand that he needed to heal. Therefore, Harry was fighting a war within himself as the minutes passed. His instinct to fight against the injustice battled with the despair and guilt he felt, and the feelings bludgeoned him on all sides, making it extremely difficult to think clearly.
But the feeling that was currently rising above any others was the complete and utter gratitude that was running through him at the fact that Sirius had dropped everything to keep Harry safe. Never in his life had he been treated with such care by an adult before. The closest he had come to it was when he'd stayed at the Burrow. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had shown him what being in a family truly felt like. But now, there were no other children around; it was just Harry and Sirius. No one else to take up their time.
"Harry?" Sirius asked softly, ruffling his godson's messy hair. "Would you like anything to eat?"
Harry could see uncertainty in the man's face. Now that the panic, fear, and adrenaline from their arrival had passed, their situation was really starting to sink in. Harry could see in his godfather's eyes that he wanted nothing more than to give Harry everything he wanted and needed, but wasn't sure how to do so. In a strange fashion, this comforted Harry; he was equally as unsure of how to handle this sudden change in pace.
So, he tried for a reassuring smile. He knew it came out shaky, but it was the best he could offer at the moment. "Um, yeah, sure," he said softly, even though he wasn't that hungry. Ever since last night, he'd had no appetite at all.
"Okay, kiddo. Is there anything in particular that you'd like?" Sirius asked.
"Uh, maybe just a chicken sandwich, please," Harry replied. "Do we have food here, though?"
Sirius's smile turned into a grin. "Of course," he said, and then he suddenly snapped his fingers. "Kreacher!" he said loudly.
.....
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