Bandung, two weeks later.
The speed of the car Kenan was driving cut through the streets under a cloudy sky, shifting from afternoon to evening. Kenan took his arm out of the windshield and Austin followed suit, the wind caressing the nerves of their skin and hair. A nice little sensation, but not great enough to make their hearts beat faster.
Kenan sang, following the song that flowed from the tape and he knew that Austin was observing his behavior. His voice was sometimes low and sometimes shrill with an octave-appropriate melody.
The ride took almost an hour, and during that hour, Kenan just listened to his favorite songs and occasionally sang. Meanwhile, Austin, beside him, just watched the sweet guy's behavior. He didn't even turn his head to the right and forward, just kept looking at Kenan who was driving and sometimes the man looked back at him while throwing a smile.
Kenan said they had arrived after hours of driving to somewhere he didn't want to say when Austin asked. Kenan didn't stop at a theme park or nightspot, but instead stopped the car on the side of a deserted road. In the distance, Austin saw giant letters.
Just to their right stretched the beach, the coral reefs, the white sand combined with the sparkling blue sea water stretched beautifully to the eye, in the distance the waves rolled slowly reflecting the moonlight shining on the throne and making it two. The sea breeze blows, some of it slipping through the coconut trees that dance softly. The beach is only about a 60km drive from Ciwidey.
Kenan got out of the car, followed by Austin. The two of them sat on the stamp of the car while looking at the vast expanse of Jayanti beach that stretched without a side, throwing their gaze at the ocean's boundary line. Two shadows were cast on the asphalt by the moonlight. Austin was mesmerized by the sight in front of him, barely blinking when Kenan asked him, "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Yes, beautiful." Austin replied, unbidden their eyes locked.
Kenan rested his head on Austin's shoulder, as they hugged each other and looked up at the night sky, their knuckles interlocked and they both breathed a sigh of relief. Both Kenan and Austin felt something familiar, slightly warm, and pleasant amidst the gentle sea breeze. This moment will probably become one of their most treasured memories more than anything in the future.
It wasn't long before Kenan stepped out of Austin's arms. Without saying a single word he glanced at the man who was still sitting on the car's stamp without showing a single gesture other than the crease between his eyebrows full of question marks. Pointing his head right at the coastline, Kenan motioned for Austin to follow him. A faint smile spread across his face before Austin finally followed the sweet man. His long limbs stepped forward to follow Kenan.
It was difficult to escape from Kenan, the second he was lulled into his embrace and drowned in his dark irises, it would be too difficult to break away. It was useless trying to run, it was impossible to escape. Even if Kenan moved away, Austin would continue to follow.
Like now, when Kenan stopped Austin just realized that the sea water had almost reached his knees. If Kenan didn't stop, maybe he would follow the man until he reached the deepest sea.
"If I were to drown myself and be swept away by the waves right now, would you follow me?" Kenan asked a challenging question.
Austin opened his mouth, silently listening. His right hand reached up to trace the side of Kenan's slender neck and back up to touch his cheek. The thumb rubbed, as if giving an answer to Kenan's question just now.
Kenan snorted softly, before looking away from Austin, he gently pushed the man's shoulder as a reply if he didn't believe Austin's 'yes' answer.
"I never thought that you and I would end up like this," Austin said. Grains of sand rustled between their fingers, the roar of the sea sounded quite loud. After a while, Kenan decided to return to the edge and was followed by Austin, "Especially when remembering our first meeting. Back then I didn't really want to make you my brother." Austin deliberately waited for Kenan until the man responded, "Although I once tried to accept you with that status, I couldn't." he continued.
Kenan chuckled lightly, "And even now you never consider me your brother," He smiled at Austin, "Maybe never."
In the dim moonlight, Austin smiled too. Bright smiles filled their faces, impressed, but so wide that it felt like the tips of Austin's smiles reached his ears. As for Kenan, his rabbit teeth were hidden behind a smile of tightly pursed lips, but that smile had overpowered the bright stars and moon above.
The man's gaze remained locked on Kenan before he whispered, "I love you, not as a brother..." His words were cut off for a moment because he couldn't say that he loved him like a lover. And finally the phrase 'lover' just stuck in his throat. Austin stood stunned looking at Kenan's smiling face under the moonlight.
"I know ..." Kenan understood, so he closed his eyes, comforting himself as he felt the warmth of Austin's arms wrapped perfectly around his neck, "Austin, you are mine." he said briefly, then moved to clasp Austin's arms around his neck. Kenan could feel the warmth of Austin's hand flowing into his palm, "Everything about you is mine, even your hand that is now embracing me." Kenan said with a possessive tone and it provoked a crisp chuckle from the younger one.
After Austin's laughter died down, only silence remained. Side by side, the two men were stranded on the shore. Neither of them had any intention of going home even though the night was fast approaching its midpoint. The ocean waves soaked their toes, leaving behind grains of sand.
Kenan began to caress Austin's neck, the man closed his eyes, "You are also mine, forever will be, until you breathe your last breath."
***
The dim light of the moon peeked shyly behind the curtains of the open window, the starless sky up there was replaced with flashes of lightning that were silent without rumbling, as if unwilling to disturb the living creatures who were asleep because of the sound.
In only an hour's sleep after returning from a meeting with a business partner, Austin blinked his eyes as something warm climbed onto the bed and clung to him from behind. His sleepy eyes caught Kenan's figure with one hand supporting his head so he could look at Austin's face which was behind him.
In a low voice that sounded like a whisper, Kenan asked, "Can I sleep next to you?"
Austin should have refused, since he was married, but no, the slightest hesitation was not visible on his face. Immediately the man turned away, shifted his body and hugged Kenan's slender body back.
Kenan smiled at the sight of Austin's figure with his back to the moonlight. The whistling of the wind could be heard from outside, as if it was teasing their activities.
Kenan slowly lowered his head which he had been supporting, even though the man in front of him had given permission, Kenan still kept his distance in Austin's arms. However, as soon as his body shifted one centimeter to move away, Austin pulled him closer until Kenan was stunned into silence. Slowly, Kenan wrapped one hand around Austin's neck, until he could feel the warmth of the man's body as a whole.
No words were spoken, a quiet exhale had replaced any dialog that was still muffled in both of their hearts. Kenan leaned back in Austin's arms, while Austin rested his head on top of Kenan's. Kenan thought, being in Austin's arms, it feels so good. So lucky to be Helena, to be able to feel warmth like this almost every day. So different from himself, who was only cuddled when it was needed, and even then it was the kind of cuddling that was full of torture when he was used as a lust object. If he remembered that, it was only a heavy sigh that Kenan voiced over his fate. Trying to forget the past, Kenan closed his eyes to follow Austin into dreamland.
*
In Jakarta this morning the sky was clear and cloudy. Dozens of birds fly overhead and land on the branches of trees whose leaves are turning yellow before they fall off in the July breeze.
As the morning turns to a sizzling hot afternoon, the bright sunlight shines elegantly on the face of a woman who is now driving a sports car without the roof closed, letting the sun's heat sting her skin between the gusting winds.
As soon as the car passed a café, the woman slammed the steering wheel and pulled into the parking lot. Her pair of feet wearing maroon high heels stepped into a knee-length red peplum dress with the bottom of it dancing.
"Helena!"
Her steps stopped right at the doorway as a familiar voice called out to her. Her attention was immediately drawn to a man wearing a gray shirt and black trousers. Although what he was wearing was something simple. However, that did not diminish the man's charm.
"Ivan?" Helena was surprised to meet the man here, not expecting it.
Ivan Northman smiled happily. "Long time no see."
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