"No, you can't touch this!"
Peter quickly snatched a Playboy magazine from Azu's hands. The baby, crawling on the floor, burst into tears, his favorite toy now gone.
Peter sighed, looking at Azu, who had shown signs of being a little rascal since he was a child. He glanced at the girl on the magazine cover—strong, voluptuous, and exuding mature charm. It was clear that even at this age, Azu had a preference for big women.
"For your own good, this is off-limits," Peter said, tossing the magazine into a cardboard box. As it landed, a creaking sound came from the box. Peter pulled the carton closer and found it filled with CDs—The Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails—all original collections of popular bands.
On top of the CDs was a pile of comic books, with a T-rex glaring from the cover and Transformers tucked between the pages. Peter grabbed the dinosaur model and handed it to Azu, who immediately stopped crying and stared at the toy with wide, curious eyes.
Seeing Azu calm down, Peter let out a sigh of relief. Neither his past self nor his current one had any idea how to care for a child. After all, he had never even been married—how could he possibly have experience with babies?
"Formula, diapers, cribs, toiletries... I need all that stuff," Peter muttered as he popped a butterscotch into his mouth, letting it roll between his molars. "It'd be easier to hire a nanny, but unfortunately..." He shook his head, realizing his total assets were less than a thousand dollars. No way he could afford a nanny.
Even though he didn't know exactly how much nannies charged in the U.S., he knew for sure a thousand bucks wasn't enough.
Just as Peter was pondering his bleak financial situation, he heard a strange noise—thok, thok, thok. Looking down, he saw that Azu had somehow grabbed his butterscotch and shoved it into his mouth. The candy was stuck, and Azu's face was turning red as he made choking sounds.
Panic-stricken, Peter immediately scooped the baby up and performed the Heimlich maneuver, gently slapping Azu's back. After a few moments, with a loud pop, the candy shot out of Azu's mouth and embedded itself into the floor like a bullet.
Peter stared at the toffee, now lodged deep in the wood. He took a deep breath and looked at Azu in shock, who simply blinked up at him, sucking on his fingers as if nothing had happened.
This kid has talent!
Toffee shooting out like a bullet at such a young age? Peter briefly considered testing it again but thought better of it. Choking the poor kid to death for fun wouldn't exactly be responsible.
...
That afternoon, Peter decided to drive his old Toyota to Walmart to buy baby supplies.
He placed Azu in the child safety seat and said, "Don't move around, or I'll take your toys away. Got it?"
Azu, still playing with his T-rex, looked up at Peter, probably assuming his father wanted to take his toy. So, he quickly hid the dinosaur behind him. Peter ruffled the boy's blond hair and started the car.
The car made its usual annoying rattling noises as he drove, but luckily the roads in his small town were smooth and well-paved.
Twenty minutes later, Peter parked at Walmart, fed a coin into the old-fashioned parking meter, and took Azu out of the car. As he walked toward the store, they reached a sloped path, and suddenly, Peter heard a panicked cry from behind.
"Oh my God! My baby!"
Peter spun around just in time to see a stroller speeding downhill toward him. A baby boy lay inside, and at the top of the hill, a young woman in her twenties was desperately chasing after it. But the distance between them only grew wider, and the mother's face was pale with fear.
At the last second, Peter reached out and caught the runaway stroller. The young woman, breathless and tearful, ran over and scooped up her baby. "Oh my God, thank you! Thank you, sir! I accidentally bumped the stroller, and it got away from me."
The woman was so relieved she didn't care about the dirt on her clothes as she showered Peter with gratitude.
"It's nothing, ma'am. If it were my child, I'd hope someone would do the same." Peter smiled, holding Azu securely.
The woman's relief deepened. "Thank you! Thank you so much, sir." She hugged Peter in her excitement. "I'm Martha. Martha Kent. Maybe we could exchange contact info? My husband would definitely want to thank you in person."
At first, Peter was about to decline, but then something clicked.
Wait. Did she say her name was Martha?
Martha Kent... as in...
He turned his wide-eyed gaze toward the baby in her arms.
"Uh... Can I ask your son's name?" he said, trying to sound casual.
Martha looked a little puzzled by the sudden question, but she replied, "Clark. His name is Clark Kent."
Peter's heart skipped a beat. It really is Superman!
The Kryptonian baby he had been hoping for had already been claimed by Martha and her husband! While Azu wasn't bad, how could any "superman parody" compare to the ideal Superman?
Originally, Peter had hoped to pick up Superman during the next meteor shower, but knowing now that the baby was already in someone else's hands left him feeling a bit... crushed.
He couldn't help but wonder asking Martha... Can we trade?