For as long as I could remember, I'd always excelled in school - even when it seemed everyone was going through a phase of Algebra-induced depression. To them, the reaction to new equations, or the unexpected input of random alphabetical letters with no correlation, was annoying. But, none of that ever fazed me.
Up until the young age of twelve, I genuinely believed nothing was made difficult for me. People would praise me constantly, fueling my delusions.
You're June Borders; there isn't an academic challenge you can't handle.
Besides competition.
You would think I was used to it by now. With the constant envy from my classmates, and the overwhelming expectations sky-high from both my family and my teachers, competition should be a familiar flower to me. But, now and again, the urge to drop out of it all and run far away eats at me slowly.
"You can do it, June," they'd say, turning a blind eye to how much I was suffering, "you're the smartest girl I know."
But what if I can't? I have to.
Growing up, I had a tremendous fear of rejection. It tends to go hand in hand with being put on every pedestal imaginable. Just the mere thought of being 'incapable' of doing something expected from me, hurt.
So here I sat on the school bus, drowning in these thoughts, while my best friend scribbled away at her sketchbook beside me.
"I'm so ready for this semester to be over," she sighed, charcoal fumes emitting into the air.
"Mai, it's January."
"I know, June, I just… I hate school."
I hate school. How could anyone hate school? Yes, the pressure and amount of work was a bit much, but I personally loved learning.
"Yeah," I muttered and stayed quiet.
"Yeah, yeah, I know you love school, you genius. Some of us are stupid though, so school isn't our strong suit." Mai was talking more to herself than me.
"You are not stupid, and I am not a genius. Different brains operate differently, that's all," I smiled, reassuring her.
"I guess so."
Meadow Lake High School isn't a small school, nor is it for the weak. It may be public and free, but not everyone is welcome here.
My elder brother, Dallas, used to attend Crystal Springs High School. I was always told it was a school 'for bad kids,' or that I was too bright to go there. That I was 'gifted,' and couldn't waste such talent on a school like CSHS.
"You'll go to Meadow Lake, Junie. That's where all the smart kids go," Dad would say.
"But I want to go to CSHS, Dad," I'd retort, "that's where all my friends are going."
As it turned out, all of my middle-school friends transferred there, and I was bound to attend a new, prestigious school, all alone. It ruined my mental health, and my heart held a heavyweight when they stopped talking to me. I had a lonely summer, dreading the upcoming semester with all of my might.
My freshman year wasn't bad. I kept to myself, focusing on getting stellar grades and becoming every teacher's favorite student. I was passing classes, maintaining a 4.7 GPA, and truly felt happy. My sophomore year was similar: I was a loner who didn't want anything to do with anybody. In my junior year, I set the bar so high for myself, that most people knew me as 'the overachiever' and not June.
Now that it was the second semester of my Senior year, I just knew big things awaited.
"June, snap out of it. We're here," she pointed towards the school, breaking me out of my trance.
We trudged on towards the entrance, followed by a plethora of high schoolers.
"Why are there so many people?" I gaped.
"There are lots of transfers; some foreign exchange, and some from other schools," Maisy reported. I was convinced there wasn't a thing this girl didn't find out.
I nodded slowly, taking in the new census. The lockers were freshly painted and the whole school felt renovated.
The speakers on either side of the hall screeched with microphone feedback as broadcaster Aiyanna Jones' voice filled the building.
"Gooooood Morning, Meadow Lake High! I hope everyone had an amazing summer…" I tuned out the overly ecstatic screeches.
"It is too early in the morning for this," I mumbled, hovering my hands over my ears.
Maisy smiled at me, clutching her books even tighter, as she dodged her way through the swarm of students. I could practically see her social anxiety shining through her tough exterior at the number of people in this hall.
I squeezed her hand gently, ushering us through the crowd and toward our lockers.
Aiyanna's speech was still going on, but I couldn't make out much over all the ruckus.
"New student… 4.5 GPA… President of the Student Council…" the room quieted.
"What is she talking about? I'm not a new student," I mumbled in Maisy's direction as she shrugged comically.
"We are so excited to welcome him to our school…"
"Him?" we said in unison, mirroring expressions of confusion.
"July Lopez."
I scoffed in disbelief, trying to process what I'd just heard. 4.5 GPA, President of Student Council.
And his name is July?
Maisy mumbled something under her breath, but I couldn't make it out over the loud thumping of my heart.