I'm so sorry it's taken so long you guys! Life has grabbed me by the reigns, and for a while, I was just trying to crash.
It turns out the AO3 curse is real!!! (I have this cross posted, posted there first)
I was hoping to get this out in November, but I ended up revamping the outline LAST MINUTE (naturally). I almost got hit by a car (it's totally fine, just jarring. Shout out to my neighbors dog for saving my ass. Love you Mojo), Taking care of a family member on and off, trying to make christmas gifts, the demons came back to haunt me(my nc mother and another)... Just as the dust settled, my childhood cat showed up on deaths' door (turned out he was totally fine, just sick with a cold and scrungly. Which, he spread said cold- a RESPIRATORY INFECTION, to my two other cats).
THEN, the day I brought them back from the vet, I came down with the most unholy fever. Thankfully the fever didn't last, but all the other symptoms did; for a WEEK. You wanna know how I spent New years?! IN THE ER! Watching my nurse FLIRT WITH MY DAD. THEY'RE BOTH MARRIED.
(I had a respiratory/double ear infection btw, all good now.)
WHEW. "Good lord, am I really going to tell these people this shit?" I ask, hitting the publish button.
No, but on an actual note, I wanted y'all to know that I am not just lacking or giving up on Chasing paradise. I'm going to upload what I have written of the next chapter, IT ISN'T COMPLETE! or fully edited... That's not the point. I just hate leaving you hanging for so long, and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. When I get the third chapter finished proper, I'll probably delete this note and the incomplete version; LIMITED EDITION CH3 BABY (it's gonna be monster- like 20/30 pages. Why do I do this to myself?).
For those of you who have been with me since the beginning, before I even started writing this, you know what this story means to me. I'd like to thank you all for standing by me and listening to my lore yappathons. For those simply perusing, or new readers, know this is a project I've been working on since 2020; ironically inspired by an extremely vivid nightmare.
I've done extensive research on names, tectonic plates, regional climates, geography (I hate maps dude), ANIMALS AND PLANTS- GOODNESS. It's a labor of love, one I will never simply put down. Thank you, for your time and patience with me. It means more than you realize, and I genuinely don't know how to express it without sounding like a fuckin' cheeseball. For those of you judging me for how long it's taken for me to actually sit down and write this: your mama.
I'm kidding; It took me a few years to even begin to write, thinking my nightmare was just crazy- being chased by a giant beast. But the ideas kept coming, and in turn, I began realize that I had never really saw myself in the mirror. I sat on that first chapter for about 2 years, revamping, rewriting, adding. I hadn't even completely flushed out Adonis' background at that point- it was a fledgling to what it is now. It took me so long because I had to live, I had to grow and truly accept myself to even begin to write this authentically.
Chasing paradise is a reflection of the journey we take within ourselves. The self loathing and fear that comes from years running from your truth, in the very face of it. You will one day realize that you are not the people around you, or those who have hurt you. You can still change, as terrifying as it feels. You can be everything you ever wanted to be- and are today, and still be worthy of love.
There will always be someone out there who will accept you, as surprising as the connection may be. Platonic, romantic or familial, our soulmates are rarely who we would suspect.
Chasing paradise is about loss and struggle, yes; but moreso it's about finding the joy and silver linings in the company or memories of those that make life worth living. Even when all feels lost, there is always something that keeps your heart beating.
There is always a reason to overcome; to be true to yourself.
Everyone deserves to be free, to hold their head up high; no matter your circumstance of birth, what or where you were born.
We all bleed, breathe and dream, don't we?