I laid down on the couch for a while, and my stomach stopped hurting, but I didn't get up to go meet him outside.
I didn't move at all. I want him to come back in here and apologize, I wanted him to stop bothering me.
I could see it, he'd come and ask me why I hadn't moved at all, and I just wouldn't say a thing. He probably wouldn't wait a while either, he must be expecting me to come out there by this point. He'll come back in and realize just how wrong he is, and then maybe he'll finally get Koyo to stop acting like the prince he clearly wants to be.
I waited, and I waited. I thought about what I'd say to him when he came back. Would I pretend to forgive him? Would I say that he hurt me? Maybe I'd shed some tears.
No, that's a bit too far. Whatever I do after he comes in begging for me to talk to him again doesn't matter, I would already have what I wanted. I didn't want to be cruel, anyway, it's not like he was the problem here, he just couldn't see things from my point of view.
Nobody can, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't show them that they're being lied to.
I waited even more. The sun was turning yellow which meant that it'd be night soon, the door hadn't even opened. Why didn't he come to check on me? Every part of me was sore and my legs had fallen asleep a while ago.
Why didn't he come back? Did he not care? I knew that he probably liked Koyo more than me but I didn't think that he would just completely abandon me. He loved to talk about how he was a good teacher, what kind of teacher leaves one student behind while focusing on the other? That's not fair.
I can't just wait here, he's probably teaching Koyo something that he'll never talk to me about just to spite me. He'll talk about how I could've gotten better if I just listened to him, and not take any responsibility for never listening to me. He's always like this.
I don't know why I'm not mad at him. Maybe it's because Koyo is so obnoxious that whatever he does seems like nothing. I'm sure nobody can compare to how annoying that wannabe noble bastard is.
I got up from the couch, my legs immediately jolted awake, and I was dizzy. I stumbled through the room and opened the door, by the time I was walking into the yard I wasn't hurting anywhere. I saw the teacher and Koyo, he was hitting the dummy still while the teacher was just sitting there watching him.
I got over there quickly, and when I got up on his left he spoke before I had the chance to.
"You decided to relent."
"Why didn't you ever come back to check on me?"
"You said you wanted to complain about Koyo, right?"
"What? Yeah, I did- why?"
"Look at how he's attacking the dummy and complain about him."
"You want me to-"
"Yes, I want you to tell me what you don't like about his swordsmanship."
Maybe staying on the couch for a while was the right choice.
I watched Koyo hit the dummy for a bit. He had the same five strikes that he would deliver, sometimes making use of a feint or a stronger strike randomly. Straight cut down, cut to the left, diagonal downward from right to left, diagonal upward from right to left, and a jab.
He loved to change between using two hands and one hand even though the blade was clearly designed for a two-handed grip. Those two would be the first things I could talk about.
"He only has five cuts."
"Really? Name them."
"A vertical cut to the head, a cut to the right torso, a diagonal cut from the left shoulder to the right waist, a diagonal cut from the left waist to the right shoulder, and a jab aimed wherever."
"Well, you're right about that. Now tell me, why is that bad?"
"Well, he only has five cuts."
"And?"
"What do you mean "and"? He should have more than five cuts."
"Why?"
"Because he should have a lot of different cuts to use."
"And why is that?"
"Because otherwise, his opponent will read his attacks!"
I started to raise my voice. Why was he questioning something that's obvious?
"Can you read his attacks?"
"Well no, but-"
"Then why does he need to change what he's doing?"
"Other opponents might be able to!"
"Erik, what's the most important hit in a sword fight."
"The first-"
"Right, so if the first hit is the most important, why does he need to have a lot of different hits to use?"
"What- he-"
"Let's try something else. What else is bad about his swordsmanship?"
"He sometimes uses one hand!"
"That's also true. What's bad about that?"
"Why are you asking what's bad about it, isn't it obvious?"
"Well I'm asking you, so it isn't obvious to me. Explain it to me like I'm an idiot."
"He's using one hand! For a two-handed sword!"
"Alright, stop for a second, and let's just watch him. Watch what he does."
We both turned to look at Koyo. He started with his downward diagonal strike and then brought it back and used a jab straight to the middle of the torso.
"There! He used one hand for that jab!"
"You're right, but let's just watch for a few more seconds."
He used those same five hits again, but he used one hand for every single hit. We were only watching for another bit when he delivered a jab that broke the dummy into pieces. He just sat there breathing heavily and waited. Eventually, the teacher spoke again.
"You can go inside, Koyo. I need to speak with Erik."
He went back into the house and I stared at him when he walked right by us. He wasn't looking back at me, but I knew if the teacher wasn't here he'd be grinning at me like he'd just gotten some royal award.
When he closed the door I looked back to the teacher and found that he was staring right back at me. How long had he been looking at me? He spoke before I had the chance to again.
"Well? Do you see?"
"See what?"
"You said that using one hand for a two-handed sword was a problem, but for every one of those strikes he used one hand, and he broke the dummy with a wooden replica of his sword."
"He's been whacking at that thing since the middle of the day, of course, it would break sometime."
"That'd only be true if he was using his actual sword. He doesn't have an affinity like you. There wasn't any power he was using to help him hit the dummy. So if there wasn't any power, he'd have to hit the dummy effectively every time since the middle of the day to just knock it down."
"So?"
"'So'? He broke the dummy apart, Erik. Are you really going to feign ignorance?"
"It's a wooden dummy, I could probably do that."
"No, you couldn't. You're not listening to me."
I felt my nails digging into my palms, I was starting to raise my voice at him again. I should have known he was going to play favorites.
"I am listening to you, you're not making sense!"
"Why are you mad at him?"
"Because his swordsmanship sucks!"
"You lost to his swordsmanship, does that mean you suck?"
He got up from where he was sitting on one part of the pile of stones around the fake arena. He started walking into the middle of the arena, and I raised my voice even more.
"No, he just uses tricks and acts like a coward!"
"So you keep on losing to a coward?"
"As soon as I figure out how to beat him I'll never lose again. If only he'd change that stupid style of his to something that actually makes sense maybe I wouldn't hate him and hate fighting him!"
"So he should change his swordsmanship?"
He had changed his tone of voice, it sounded like he was talking down to me now, and it made me think of Koyo. This is exactly something that Koyo would say, always making excuses without ever changing anything about himself.
"Yes!"
"Why?"
"Because it's bad!"
"You lost to that swordsmanship."
"So?"
"If you beat me with your swordsmanship, and I challenged you again, would you change your swordsmanship?"
"No!"
"Would you think of any reason to change your swordsmanship?"
"No!"
"So if I complained about your swordsmanship, you wouldn't change a thing?"
"But-"
"That's different, right? Your swordsmanship is perfect, better than his at least."
I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. He was just standing there looking at me, he wanted me to say something. He probably wanted me to apologize and admit that he was right, but I couldn't. He couldn't be right. His voice changed back, he didn't sound like he was trying to show me how much worse I am than him.
"You are suffering from a lie that you keep telling yourself, that lie is that sword fights have to abide by your rules. In fact, forget your rules, the lie is that they have to abide by any rules at all."
I still couldn't say anything, he walked back over to me from the middle of the fake arena and sat back down on the same part of the pile of rocks.
"The truth is that the only thing that matters in sword fights is that you win. This would seem obvious, but some grand falsifier came around a millennium back and convinced everyone that there were rules to killing people with a blade."
"But sword styles are meant to help people, they're supposed to be better than just swinging a sword blindly."
"They are better than swinging a sword blindly, but they ultimately limit what you are able to do as a swordsman."
I was no longer clenching my fists, and my voice wasn't raised.
"So what do I do then?"
He got up from his seat again and walked over to me. He paused right before it seemed like he was about to speak.
"I just realized that you're not short enough for me to get on one knee."
We both laughed over that for a few seconds, but when we stopped he put his hands on my shoulders and we stared at each other before we spoke again.
"My advice is that you find your own swordsmanship. Don't swing your sword based on some rules that you heard, swing it because the way that you're swinging it works. Swing it because it's what you know how to do best."
He took his hands off my shoulders and started to walk away.
That made no sense.