She didn't come back, and so I went to school the next day.
I wasn't going to let her force me around. I was going to fix myself, I was going to act correctly. I would do it all without her. It's not that hard to get the answers to the questions they all ask, I just find it boring. But that's alright. I'll find a way.
I have to. If I don't, it's back to doing whatever she says. Soon I'll be a servant.
When I walked into the classroom, nobody said anything to me. I watched as Reynold stared at me until I sat down in my normal seat. Elle wasn't in the seat next to me, actually I didn't even see her in the room.
She must be avoiding me. Maybe she's back at the orphanage doing something to my room. Maybe she's preparing to run away. I don't know.
"Hello, Celio. It's good to have you back."
"Yeah."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Sorry, Miss Daoust. It's been a long month. I am happy to be back. I apologize for my lateness, I had a hard time getting ready."
"I was afraid you had lost your manners. I am glad that Miss Larche was right about you."
"Hm? What did Miss Larche say about me?"
"Now now, adults should not share their private conversations with children."
"Very well."
She looked at me with an odd smile on her face. No, it wasn't odd. The problem was that it was real. It wasn't like the fake ones that she would give me when I interrupted her, or did something to annoy her. Had she ever smiled? Like smiled smiled? I don't know.
"Well, if a month in solitude yields these results I must say your maturation was certainly worth the wait."
Now how do you respond to something like that? "Thanks"? I wasn't some sort of new person. I've always been this way. Whatever. I'll just smile at her and not talk. I might say something to get her mad again if I do.
"Well, I shouldn't spend all of class fawning over a student. I'm sure the other teachers would find this behavior quite unbecoming if they were to find themselves near this room currently."
She walked back over to the front of the classroom and brought me my own piece of parchment and a quill for writing.
"You do remember our introduction of urie before you left, don't you?"
"I do."
"Wonderful. Now for this problem, we will imagine urie as simply the letter 'u'."
She put her piece of parchment on the wall and wrote the problem for all of us to see.
"Now if two of 'u' plus an additional seven is equal to fifteen, then what can we say 'u' is equal to? Remember, do not provide me with an oral answer. Write it down on your paper and I will check it."
The rest of the class didn't write. Was she trying to make them do problems that she usually gave to me? How far had they gotten in the month I was locked in my room?
"Ah, yes. My mistake. For the rest of the class, please answer the following question: what is two multiplied by three?"
"So two of 'u' is equal to-"
"Remember, Celio. We were trying to get you out of speaking through your answers. If you ever pursue a higher level of academia I am sure your peers will mind such a habit quite severely."
It was hard to sound it out in my head with the rest of the class speaking so loud. I had asked Miss Daoust to get them to speak more quietly but she just said that I should be able to do it by myself. If I asked her again I'd ruin all of her goodwill, so I just went through the pain of having to think to myself while they all talked as though they were eating lunch.
Two of 'u' plus another seven is equal to fifteen. So two of 'u' minus the seven from both, so that becomes equal to eight.
I had written down the answer on my parchment already and I raised my hand so Miss Daoust would see. She walked over from her chair to me and looked at my paper quickly.
"Good job, Celio. How about we give you more of a challenge?"
I nodded at her.
"Imagine two of 'u' is equal to another number, let us say nine. Now what does 'u' become?"
So two of what fits into nine. Four becomes eight. Five becomes ten.
"I- don't know?"
"I think you do. What comes between four and five?"
What does come between four and five? Is there something in between four and five?
"I can see you are confused. We can go back to the other problems that I have given you. This is something that only those in the levels of academia that adults pursue start to learn."
"No I want to learn it, but I just don't get it now."
She had been smiling at me this whole time. It was weird. I felt weird, but I also wanted to know what she was talking about. I had never talked with Miss Daoust like this. She was always screaming at me.
Well, if Elle was truly controlling me this whole time I don't see why they shouldn't have hated me. I hate the me from the other day, the one that cried on her shoulder. The person that would listen to someone if they treated them nicely.
"Very well, I shall try with the most effort to let you understand this idea. Imagine the lunch you are provided with."
"So a sandwich?"
"Sure. Imagine a sandwich. Now imagine someone approaches you and informs you that they didn't receive a proper meal. What would you do?"
"I would share my sandwich with them."
"Of course! Such a thing is only right for someone who has found themselves most unlucky. Now if you wanted to share your sandwich, how much of the sandwich would you give them?"
"I would give them half of the sandwich."
"Precisely."
"'Precisely'? Precisely what? I still don't get it."
"Half of the sandwich."
"Yeah?"
"Half of the sandwich."
"Miss Daoust, I am sorry but you repeating it isn't helping me understand what you're trying to say."
"Alright, I will try to add more detail to this example. If you were to eat the entire sandwich, how much of the sandwich would be there?"
"None of it?"
"Right. So you can say, maybe oddly but nonetheless, that there is 'zero' of the sandwich?"
"Sure? That is odd."
"You can also say that when you have not eaten any of the sandwich, you could say that there is one of the sandwich."
"Yes."
"So we have two numbers now, zero and o-"
The bells of the school rang and I needed to get to Miss Larche's class. If I didn't show up on time for my first day she was sure to be mad at me.
"Well, Celio, I believe this would be the first time I would keep you after class for something unrelated to a reprimand."
"I am very sorry Miss Daoust, but I want to arrive on time for all my classes today."
She smiled even more than before.
"I want you to know, Celio, when I berated you I never did as such out of hate."
Here comes an awkward conversation. She was pausing before every word, trying to say whatever it is she was, well, trying to say, in a way that wouldn't make her seem like a bad person.
"I used to love teaching. I once taught in the halls of Rouchee."
"I would love to hear this story shortly after Zaehval, however, I must make my way to Miss Larche."
"Oh my, am I truly serving as such a detriment that you resort to flattery? Very well, should your words be true you may find me residing within my personal quarters after Zaehval."
"I will see you then, Miss Daoust. Have a good day."
"Yes, I wish the same to you."
I ran down the hallway. Well. I "ran" down the hallway. Elle would consider it running.
No, I can't think of her right now.
I hadn't been thinking of her for that entire class. I was able to distract myself.
How was I able to do that, exactly? Was I actually interested in what Miss Daoust had to say? Maybe it wasn't that it was her, maybe I was interested in the things that she was teaching me.
One and zero. Half of the sandwich. In between four and five. These snippets of sentences were stuck in my head, and they overpowered the usual noise of the hallways when we moved between classes. What did she mean when she talked about them? What was this thing that was in between two numbers? How can there be a thing in between numbers, they're numbers. Four is in between three and five, and that's all there is, right?
Well, I'd ask her more about it later after Zaehval. She's probably wondering why I'm acting like this.
This feels good. Oddly. It doesn't feel right, but I enjoy learning. Reynold would be jumping for joy if he ever heard me say that. I couldn't tell anyone about it and expect them to get it. Well, maybe I could tell a teacher, I'm sure they'd be very happy that someone enjoys being taught. Any other kid would look at me like I'm crazy. I mean sure, they have fun doing the projects and going outside. Eating for free isn't bad, of course. But they would start yawning and rolling their eyes when they were asked to add two numbers, or to write a sentence about how they're feeling.
I like it. I like confusing them. It makes me feel like-
"-I'm a cool guy."
I don't know why I said that part out loud. A few people in the hallway looked at me like I had just punched someone in the face so I covered my face with my hands and put my head down as I made my way through the other kids to get into Miss Larche's class.
"Well, Celio. I suppose I should congratulate you for being present on time in my class for the first time since you arrived here in Neuport."