I felt lighter inside, as if I was breathing again for the first time in years. There wasn't that tightness pulling against my chest anymore, the one that had been irritating me for what had felt like forever. No longer any burden, no stress trying to please Ethan or making everything about him. Things were going to be different this time. I was going to be different.
I'd stood outside my old office building, staring upwards at the towering glass structure that at one time felt like a home away from home. It had been years since I'd walked through those doors, years since I let go of dreams once chased so fiercely. Giving up my career was, at the time-I thought-a sacrifice for love, for a future with Ethan. But now, standing here, I felt for the first time how much I'd lost by placing myself second.
Not this time.
I took a deep breath, stepping inside as the familiar hum of the busy lobby washed over me: phones ringing, heels clicking against marble floors, the faint buzz of conversation. It was weird being back, yet at the same time, this felt right. Standing on my own two feet, not lost in the shadows of somebody else's dream, but reclaiming the life I once wanted, was where I needed to be.
My chest felt the nervous bubbly of excitement as I approached the elevator. I had told nobody that I was coming back, not even my old boss Sarah. I knew that would be a great surprise for her, but I knew I was coming back at the right time.
The doors opened, and I stepped inside the familiar office with the same open floor plan, sleek desks, and the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. You could feel it-like you were stepping into some sort of time capsule. Everything was still exactly the same, yet I had changed so much.
Natalie?" My own thoughts were pierced by a voice that was all too familiar, and I turned to see Sarah standing by her office door with an expression of disbelief. "I just can't believe it. Are you really it?"
Smiling, the tension of the nerves ebbed from my soul upon seeing the warmth in her eyes. "It's me," I said, starting to feel confident. "I'm back.
The heels of her shoes clicked across the polished floor as Sarah walked over to me, pulled me into a hug. "You have no idea how much we've missed you around here," she said, pulling back to look at me. "Are you back for good?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready to get back to work.
She smiled broadly and nodded toward her office. "Come on in. We have a lot to catch up on."
As I stepped inside, I felt a sense of purpose I hadn't in years. This was where I belonged. I was not going to let anyone take it away from me again.
---
The day was a blur of continuous meetings, emails, and brainstorming. It felt like I'd never left. My old instincts fell right into place, and before I could bat an eye, I plunged headfirst into projects with the same passion and stubbornness that I used to pull off.
Before I knew it, afternoon had arrived and I sat in a conference with the creative team, tossing around ideas for a new marketing campaign for one of our biggest clients. The energy was palpable in the room, everybody bouncing off somebody else, but I knew the eyes were on me, waiting to see if I still had it, if I could still lead.
I leaned forward, tapping my pen against my notebook as I contemplated the campaign. They had some great ideas, but somehow, it wasn't there: the spark, that something which would make us different from the competition. Then, it hit me.
"What if we anchor this on the client's backstory?" I suggested, my voice slicing through the talk. "They started out as a small, family-owned business. That's their strength, their authenticity. We should build the campaign around that-make it personal, relatable."
The room suddenly went quiet, and I watched the wheels begin to turn in my colleagues' heads. Then Sarah smiled, nodding. "I love it. Let's run with that."
A wave of satisfaction washed over me. I smiled to myself several minutes continuing to tick by in the meeting, but a thrill of success coursing through me. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I was in charge of my own life. Ethan's world wasn't my responsibility anymore. This time, I was living for me.
---
It was quiet when I came home that evening. Ethan wasn't back yet, but it didn't bother me. Long ago, I had stopped waiting for him to fill the silence. Which, now that I think about it, maybe I never needed him to fill in the first place.
I poured a glass of wine and sat at the kitchen table, my head still buzzing from the day's events. I'd been so focused on Ethan for such a long time-on making sure he was happy, on trying to fix things between us-that I'd forgotten what it felt like to focus on myself, to chase my own dreams.
But something inside me was different now, a feeling of the power, of control that I hadn't had in years. I was back at the marketing firm, back doing what I loved, and it felt like I had finally come home to myself. I wasn't the same woman Ethan had proposed to ten years ago. I wasn't that eager-to-please, desperate-for-approval version of myself anymore.
This time, the tables had turned.
I heard the door open, and Ethan walked in, looking like he always did: exhausted. His tie was loose, and he only glanced at me as he tossed his keys onto the counter.
"Hey," he growled at me, tugging a chair out and sitting down opposite me.
"Hey," I echoed, taking another sip of my wine.
He looked at me a moment, his brow furrowing slightly. "How was your day?"
It was the first time in a very long time that he had asked, and for a second, I almost didn't know how to answer. Then something clicked-it didn't matter anymore what he thought.
"It was great," I said, the faint smile playing on my lips. "I went back to work."
Ethan's head jerked up in surprise. "What? You went back to the firm?"
"Yeah," I said, turning to him. "I'm going to be working full-time again."
He blinked, caught off guard. "I didn't know you were thinking about going back."
I shrugged, leaning back in my chair. "I wasn't. But then I realized-I'm not going to put my life on hold anymore. I have goals too, Ethan. Things I want to accomplish.
He stared at me a second longer, his eyes squinting, like he couldn't quite place the woman sitting in front of him. And maybe in a way, he couldn't. This was not the Natalie he knew-the one who bent over backwards for him, who gave up her career and her dreams for him. No, this was someone new.
"I see," he said, and for the first time, his voice was unsure. "Well… I suppose it is good you are forging your own path."
I nodded, smiling more widely now. "Yeah. It is."
The rest of the evening, he said little, seeming to be disturbed by this change in me. I was anything but disturbed. For the first time in a long time, I felt grounded, certain.
I wasn't living for him anymore, I was living for me.