"It's worth it. I think it's worth it…" Xiao Mi whispered.
Her words startled me, filling me with disbelief. Even now, after everything, she still thought it was worth it. What kind of immense strength must she possess to support herself through this?
No. It wasn't strength—it was hatred.
Gently touching her face, I asked, "Do you hate me?"
"Yes, I hate you," she replied coldly. "Being abandoned is unbearable. Qian Guang abandoned me once, throwing me into hell. But you—you abandoned me and cast me into the whirlpool of death. Compared to him, I hate you more. You gave me hope once, pulled me out of my addiction, and let me live. I thought I held a place in your heart, even if just as insignificant as a speck of dust. But I was wrong. I was nothing to you, not even that speck of dust. When placed against someone more important, I became dispensable, someone you could throw away without a second thought—even if it meant leaving me to die. Tell me, how could I not hate you?"
Her words, laced with icy venom, were sharp and unyielding.
I watched as tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. They fell silently, yet carried a deep sadness. "I knew you wouldn't die," I said softly. "Everything was under my control."
"Choices matter most," she said. "You chose someone else. Deep down, you know exactly what you were thinking…"
I lowered my head. She was right. No one knew better than I what I was thinking at that moment. Without hesitation, I had abandoned her because, compared to Ma Lan, she wasn't as important. But that didn't mean she didn't matter at all.
"You've always held a place in my heart," I said. "Abandoning you didn't mean you were unimportant. It just meant, compared to Ma Lan, you weren't as important. And didn't you tell me never to fall in love with you?"
"Yes," she interrupted bitterly. "I told you not to fall for me—because if you did, you'd regret it for the rest of your life."
Her coldness, her despair, was palpable. She lay there like a lifeless doll, radiating hopelessness.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No. Not at all. I want to die but can't. I want to live, but my life is worse than a stray ghost's. Abandoned, exploited, tortured—when I was at my most vulnerable, terrified and in pain, I was alone in this stinking, damp little room. Not even a dog accompanied me. Nothing. Tell me, how could I be okay?"
Her bitterness was a dagger to my heart.
I sat on the sofa and held her close. "There won't be a next time. Pull yourself together. I've made it. I've got ten million now. We're on solid ground. Everything you want is within reach. Our lives are back on track."
"That's why I said it was worth it," she replied coldly.
She raised her eyes to meet mine, her gaze filled with deep-seated hatred. Tears fell freely, brimming with heartbreak. It was the kind of pain that only comes from loving someone too deeply.
My phone rang. It was Xuan Ling. As I reached for it, Xiao Mi snatched it from my hand and tossed it aside. I stared at her in shock.
"In this room, you're mine," she said, her voice trembling with despair. "I'm begging you. This is my last shred of dignity. Here, can you give me your undivided attention? Just for once?"
Her plea was desperate, and I couldn't bear to refuse.
She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and pressed her trembling lips to mine. Her fragrance enveloped me in the dim, suffocating air. I resisted at first but, looking at her fragile face, I couldn't bring myself to push her away. She needed me—desperately. Without me, she might spiral into utter hopelessness.
Why not, then?
Madness.
When the storm subsided, she retreated into silence, lying motionless on the bed. I dressed and prepared to leave.
As I opened the door, the creak echoed unpleasantly, amplifying the dreariness of the room—a place worse than a dog's den. Damp and dark. "Move somewhere better," I said. "I'll buy you a house."
She chuckled dryly. "Sure…"
Her voice was hoarse, her laughter tinged with mockery. I swallowed hard, eager to leave. All I could do was change her environment.
"Zhao Fei, if you promise me something, keep your word. Don't let me hate you the way I hate Qian Guang. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."
In the stairwell, her words lingered in my ears. I paused briefly, then pressed forward. What kind of hatred fueled her resilience? I dreaded the day it would explode, for I knew it would be catastrophic.
Descending the stairs, I saw two men smoking by the car. They opened the door as I approached. I climbed in without a word and checked my phone. Thanks to Xiao Mi, I'd missed over twenty calls.
Calling back, I asked, "What's wrong?"
"Zhao Fei, where are you?" Xuan Ling's sobs came through the line, making my chest tighten. "What's happened?"
"Cheng Na's been arrested…"
Hearing her cry, I felt a pang of worry. "Why?"
"She hit Zeng Hong…"
Her words ignited my frustration. Zeng Hong again. I gritted my teeth. "Why did she hit her? Was Zeng Hong bullying you again?"
"Zhao Fei, don't ask. I'm scared…"
Her fear was palpable, and I felt a surge of protectiveness. Cheng Na, her closest friend, had likely acted on her behalf. Now, without her, Xuan Ling must have felt utterly lost.
"Wait for me in Ruili. I'm coming back," I assured her.
"Okay. I'll wait…"
Ending the call, I stared out the window. There wasn't much left to handle in Ruili, so I decided to return to Kunming. Anger brewed within me. How could I rid myself of Zeng Hong? She disgusted me to the core.