The Lost Passage

'A Blank room filled with shattered mirror pieces laced all over every inch of the wall, The floor, the ceiling and even the wall. With me, right at the heart of the room. It was just me as well as countless other versions all staring me, their gaze fixed on Me. To be upon the spotlight where everyone was watching, STARING. To have been appraised, watched, inspected. I hate this, whatever 'this' is. With every mirror I looked into, another 'me' held my gaze. I was unable to recognize the emotion in their stoic eyes.A chill ran through my bones. They are not fond of me, An outsider in their world, Infiltrating their space. They, It seemed are all strangers to me too. These creatures who had my individual faces knew everything about me while I knew nothing. They think I'm weak and inferior to them. which I was... for now. Shing!.. A sharp sound came from a mirror. My head jolted in it's direction. The mirror had a hand coming out from behind its side, Gripping the sharp edge of its mirror tightly. I winced and looked down at my hand. So tightly that 'our' hand was bleeding. My eyes snapped back to the hand of the creature gripping the mirror. Blood dripped down from it. This doesn't make sense. Another hand erupted from behind the other side of it. Both, My hands. Both of my hands were bleeding now. I was unable to process what was happening. I was Completely, utterly and miserably unaware of what was occurring before my eyes. They are everywhere, feeding on my fragility, waiting for the chance to devour me as a whole. Crack!... The mirror was shattered into million tiny little pieces on the floor at the feet of another me. A better me. And this being hated me. It despised me. It lunged at me and before I knew it, I was on the floor. I felt no pain, no sense of emotion, neither a sense of fear nor a sense of shock. Instead, I was baffled my myself that I, am unable to feel. To think. To care about my fragile vessel which could shatter with the gentle caress of the wind. I am that fragile. And I-'I woke with a start to my day. How long was I asleep?. My consciousness was sluggish. I had a sense that I slept too long from the corpse I was in. It was a fairly short dream, 12 minutes or so. The sudden exposure to the light filtering through the curtains drew me awake. My heart was staging wildly. That must be one of the most bizarre dreams I've had. A strange sense of Deja vu tingled in the air. Dreams like these have been a common occurrence for me for the past month. A foreboding sense that things will make it's way to me always existed in the back of my feeble mind and now I doubt that It will leave my mind anytime soon I was still groggy from my sleep. Basic thoughts were something I failed to comprehend in my current state. My limbs were numb. I stretched to get the life back in them. My feet were practically frozen and I am bleeding am bleeding am bleeding. My hands were bleeding. Right then, for the first time in my life, I felt true fear. Aiko Akari felt true fear for the first time in her life. Me, who was never been truly afraid of anything but silly things like Height or the depths of murky waters with stretch on to oblivion called 'The Ocean.' The Ocean with a capital O. I'm aware that lots of individuals host the same fears and perhaps lost your loved ones to it. This need to apologize. I do not know why they blame themselves even when it's not their fault, not even remotely. "I'm sorry for your loss" and I have begun to hate those words. And I will never fail to hate to utter them to anyone who's faced a loss. It tries to comfort us but perhaps all it does would be drowning us in greater pain and I'm unable to recognize why. (My thoughts are rubbish, Ignore them)I have never felt fear. not the heart sinking, miserable fear of losing something. A fear that soon, everything will end with my inevitable and pitiful death. I know that everyone experiences 'death' once in their life, maybe even twice, is this a fear of death? No, no, It is a dread, That something will drag me down to hell and take me along with it and this feeling that I will face it soon, that I will face death soon and I can't do anything about it, leaves me suffocated. I jumped off the bed and just stared at my hands, my weeping hands, weeping with red blood instead of tears, weeping for a reason unknown, even to me. How did I? When did I? I had no answers to these questions. Not answers with any sense of logic anyway.. I remember that there was... There was...There was....what? It slipped farther and farther out of reach from my memory. Now I.. Now nothing was left behind with me. I failed again and again to remember what it was. I failed again. Dreams and dreams everyday, but as the so called 'days' passes, they allow themselves to be wiped away from my memory. My dreams, not even my dreams wish to stay with me and it was pushing me into the undying want, the need to die. To be rendered alone is something... something that haunts you mercilessly, especially when, just when you started to understand what it felt to be NOT alone. but then one day, and a very recent day, you lost it all. EVERYTHING, YOU LOST EVERYTHING.Loneliness, you learned how to deal with it and then.. someone, someone you grew to trust, someone who grew your trust, took it away and threw it right back at you and now, you don't know, you don't know how to deal with it anymore, you don't know how to cope and now you're dying, you're dying from the inside out. and you don't know what to do about it, there's nothing you can do about it.I shook my thoughts off, they are getting to my head, mimicking me and my... state. I slid into the bathroom and propped open the first-aid kit, not as if there was anything inside it anyway, most of which had expired before I could ever come to a situation whereas this, when I could use them. and I must add that I am clueless in how to use one as well. I dabbed a cotton ball with an antiseptic and swiped my hands (IT BURNSSS) to be overcome by a sharp stinging pain, then, as I should, I merely bandaged my hands although it was wacky, It will do. "Why did I wake up to another meaningless day?" Was the only thing that crossed and kept crossing my mind as I drank my coffee, yes it would be another boring day, another torturous day alone in a prison called "my world". Uninteresting and bland as usual. I couldn't help but look in the fridge, breakfast today would be ni- the fridge was empty today as well. ah yes, I need to go out, to the grocery store, where I have to interact with real people, ah the difficulties of life... It's greatly saddening. I draped a grand coat over my clothes, It was cold out, And I had no intention of catching a cold, not in a while anyway. The door was right there, I just have to face it...Now then, Should I head out?