CRASH!*
Maria and I landed in Maria's hometown of Spanksville right in the town square, ruled by the so-called Spank gang. And I gotta say, this town is bland as hell!
The buildings are so simple and boring you might as well call this place Generic Town Number 1!
But enough about this shitty place. Time to talk about the actual plot of this shitty story.
We landed with an explosion so loud it alerted the whole town to our presence. Naturally, I had to make an entrance.
As several people began to circle the crater we formed, I jumped out and said hi like a gentleman...by roaring ferociously at the people, causing them to scatter into their houses screaming in terror.
Well, except one man.
"Did you really have to do that?" Maria asked, annoyed that I scared her people away. What a wimp, I thought.
"Hehe...what can I say? I always have to make an entrance!" I said, but then I noticed the douche standing near us. Apparently, this idiot doesn't know that if a giant dog-man greets you, you're supposed to run away in terror. Well, I guess I'll have to teach him a lesson he'll never forget!
"Daddy!"
And I was still thinking that until Maria shouted that.
"Oh, my dear! You're back!" The man said. And I gotta say, he looks nothing like Maria. While she has green skin and a tail, this guy's entirely human. Well, he's wearing dirty, torn-up overalls and a straw hat that's way past its prime, but he's still human, I guess. But at least couldn't he have dressed with some class?
"B...but what are you doing here, sweety? I thought those evil monsters shipped you off to get sold as a slave?!"
"Yeah, they were, but this dog-guy came to save me," Maria said, pointing at me with a cute smile. Wait, did I call her cute? Uh...just ignore that, okay?
"It was nothing, I guess. I was just taking a ride in a whale's belly and met this little one. Then I thought, 'What the hell?!' And decided to lend her a hand. Bada bing, bada boom, here we are!"
"Oh, thank you so much! But, Maria, why are you in your green skin? We can't let Spanks' men see you. Especially after that noise you made."
"Oh, right!" Maria said as her skin color turned to that of a normal human girl. "But this won't be good enough! C'mon!"
The three of us then left the town square and hid in this guy's shack.
But someone was watching us, and we were none the wiser.
"Uh...your place is, uh...quaint," I said, but the correct word was shitty as all hell! The shack was a run-down old heap of old wood and nails. Furniture that was either covered in termites or already chewed down, and he seemed to be sharing this place with a family of immigrant rats. Okay, maybe the rats aren't a bad thing.
"Sorry about my home. It's not what you'd call a welcoming environment. If only I was mayor again. Then you'd see my actual home."
"Mayor?! You were a mayor?"
"Yup. Well, before the Spank gang came and took over."
"Ooh, ooh! Tell the story, Daddy! Tell him!" Maria said with enough enthusiasm in her voice to fill a gas tank.
"Oh, I don't think he wants to hear my story."
"Oh, hell no, I..." That's when I received a slap from my conscience. Well, I guess we all have to sit through this then.
"Well, no harm in telling me. I'd love to hear it!"
"You see, Daddy! He'd love to hear it! Tell the story!"
"Okay, okay, dear. It all started when I led my people out of Podgea, the town where all crime was legal, to what used to be a large forest till we built the little town you see today!"
A place where all crime was legal? Sounds like a dream come true! Why would you ever wanna leave? I said as I tried to munch on some nearby rats only to be stopped by Maria.
"Well, in a place like that, only the strong can survive, and me and my people wouldn't be exactly what you call strong."
"Yeah, I'd rather call you wimps, hehe," I mused, only for Maria to nudge me in the shoulder. Which hurt a damn lot, but I showed no reaction. I'd get her back...next time.
"We lived a prosperous life here for ten good years. With my leadership, the people thrived. Well, until the Spank gang came along and took over."
"Why didn't you all rebel and fight back? Seems kinda wimpy if you ask me." And it was, but Maria didn't agree since she nudged me again. Which hurt even more than the first one! Damn this girl!
"Well, if I were to gather a rebellion, the people would follow. I was the one who told them to run away when they saw you. If I didn't, they all would've stood there like me."
"Bullshit! It was me who scared them!"
"Yeah, sure, pal. Anyway, I was fully capable of leading a rebellion, but if I did, it would be a massacre. So I saw it was better for my people to live with these pricks than to not live at all."
"Hmm, still sounds like a wimp to me," I said but ended up receiving a third nudge from Maria!
"Shhhh! This is my favorite part!"
"We lived in fear of the Spank gang, but on my orders, we were docile and compliant. We paid their damn taxes and worked our asses off for them. Everything was peaceful. Shitty, but peaceful. That's when Maria here came into my life."
"Oh, Spike, you're gonna love this part."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, kid."
"I was making a journey to sell some of my radishes until I saw this green-skinned angel crawl out of a bush in the forest, all battered and bruised. I didn't have the heart to leave her there dying, so I took her in."
"Ooh, ooh! Let me tell this part, Daddy! And there I was! In this stranger's house. I was afraid at first, but when he explained how he took care of me when I was dying, I began to trust him. I lived with him for months but never left the house due to me being a Lizardan and all."
"What's wrong with that? You look pretty normal to me."
"Yeah. Says the talking dog-man. Listen, Spike, humans aren't so fond of us animal people. Heck, I'm even surprised Mr. Farmer here even picked me up."
"Oh, I see. Wait, you're name Mr. Farmer?" I asked, turning to Maria's adoptive father.
"Yes, why?" He answered with a straight face, which caught me off guard.
"Hehehehee...no reason. I guess you got your dream job, huh?" I said, chuckling until Maria gave me another nudge! And continued the story.
"Listen! So once I learned how to use my reptilian abilities to change my color to that of a human, I went into town for the first time. But all I saw were innocent people being beaten and abused for no reason! I even saw a little girl get beaten by a man for calling him bald! I hated it and had to do something about it."
"And I think you can guess where that went," Mr. Farmer chimed in.
"I'm telling the story here, Daddy! Anyway, I beat up that asshole, but in doing so, attracted multiple assholes. Which I beat with minimal ease. Well, until their boss arrived."
"And he beat you?" I asked.
"I didn't get to even fight him. The sleazy bastard used his goons as a distraction and went after my dad! Holding him hostage, this boss asshole demanded I sign something called a contract or else my dad dies. I signed it, and here we are now."
"And you said whatever happens in the contract happens in real life?"
"Yeah. If I try to hurt the Spank gang, my dad dies. Sadly, I couldn't do anything about it."
"But maybe you can," Mr. Farmer said, turning to me.
"Me?!" I asked, genuinely surprised.
That's when Mr. Farmer got on all fours, faced the ground, and started begging.
"Please! I'm begging you as a father! A mayor! A man who has lost so much! Help me reclaim what is mine! Please!"
There was a loud silence...until there was an answer...
"No."
"WHAT?!" The two screamed in unison.
"One thing I hate most is weaklings asking for my help. Especially those who don't want to fight for themselves."
"But if I fight, me and my people die!"
"Sucks to be you then, huh? I'm outta here," I said as I turned around and began to leave.
Farmer tried to stop me, but Maria got in his way.
"Maria! What are you doing!? We need him!"
"No, we don't, Dad! I thought he was cool, but he's just another asshole! Leave him! We'll figure something out."
"Uh, guys," I said as I came back inside.
"What the hell do you want, you asshole!?" Maria shouted angrily.
"You got visitors," I said...referring to the entire Spank gang standing outside the shack, led by their boss, Warden Spanks.
"Aah! My dear Maria! It seems you have returned, eh?" Spanks chuckled...as he pulled out a piece of paper and began to laugh maniacally. It was the contract.
THE END...FOR NOW!