Details of the past embrace me, like chains its only ever enough for it to be perfect. Not in the divinity sense of perfect. Just what it ought to need. What made me angry was people sinning, what makes me angry now is just how similar I am. Not a person who does bad things with low standards, I was not a good person who does good things with high standards either either. I was the worst of the worst, high standards for good deeds but a person did bad. For what is better, killing or wishing to kill? The depths are so easy to reach, like trying to grab onto a wall stuck blades.
When shoveling the walls to build urself out the pit for they were made of dirt, you covered urself with it to forgive yourself. You did on thing, that was to embrace it. You didn't do it though, the thing you did was to serve blood to those wall.
"So the gun controlled me? What type of gun was it?" I asked to the mirror.
The guns I picked up were not bowered they were taken for if I had regretted I would have died without regrets in the battle field while burring my enemies and praying for them until the lucky shot of a curious teenager seeking to do what is right in his ego or purity he would have faced the same fate as me under the faith that he would live despite his curiosity. Death and known to have lived. That is the truth of my heart to show the world that I would die to bury a soldier even if it meant betraying my nation or religion because that's what is meant to do the right thing that we would all naturally do, for when I'm in war with my self, and the past self I still love the future and what I lived for, because its natural, it's called persistence even in fault for making the decision the present is where Ill make the decision, a pattern for love in the right answer. For I do not know death, when I haven't died. I am alive, persistence is life, death is for the remembered, I want to be remember persistent and unforgiving of evil.