Weiwei couldn't remember the next few days well. There were preparations for the funeral, the constant pain and sorrow she felt, the visits from Yu Xinmei, who couldn't hide her happiness at the sudden fortune of Uncle Gu gaining a house he could now sell or rent. Everything and everyone felt foreign and distant.
Weiwei's room was her only sanctuary. If before it was her launchpad into the world, now it was the only place she wanted to be in. There was no joy in being outside. Weiwei's room with the memories of her parents and Grandma was her only sanctuary. She could close her eyes and imagine that she was back in time when there was some hope.
One memory that often surfaced in Weiwei's mind was of walking with Grandma outside on a crisp autumn day. The air was filled with the earthy scent of cooling soil and fallen leaves. Reds, oranges, and yellows surrounded them, and Grandma smiled and said: "Isn't the world beautiful, Weiwei? Look at these colors! I know your life is busy and filled with many things. But don't forget to pause at times and look around —peace and beauty, that's what life is really about."
Oh, how I wish to have that peace and beauty! But where would I ever find it?
The present and future felt bleak. Weiwei didn't even want to think about her education or career; it all seemed exhausting and unnecessary. All she truly wanted was to be alone.
Only a couple of weeks later, when the pain dulled a little, Weiwei asked again about the box from Grandma's house.
"There was no box there," said Uncle Gu.
Weiwei felt rising hatred that she couldn't control.
"Did someone take it?" she demanded. Surprised, Uncle Gu didn't know what to say.
Suddenly, an idea came to Weiwei's head.
"Was it Yu Xinmei?" she exclaimed.
"What? Don't talk nonsense about my future wife!" yelled Uncle Gu. "You're lucky she's a nice person. Otherwise, I'd send you away a long time ago."
A wave of anger surged through Weiwei, setting her heart racing. The emotion had been brewing for months, but now she could no longer contain the impeding eruption.
If frustration felt gray to Weiwei at times, then right now the world was drenched in a fiery orange.
"You would send me away?" cried out Weiwei. "You? I'm a grown-up now, you can't keep me or send me away. I'd gladly leave, anyway!"
"I'm glad you say that. Because it's time for you to leave. You're a useless and ungrateful girl, and one day you will crawl back and beg for forgiveness!"
Weiwei felt the heat spreading all over her body. She almost wanted to grab Uncle Gu and toss him back down onto his stupid couch. Uncle is supposed to be family. What kind of family is he if he'd been worse to her than a sworn enemy!
"Never!" exploded Weiwei. "You hear me? I'll never ask you for anything in my life!"