NO FUCKING WAY!!!
I thought to myself once again as I glanced at the absolute beauty of a girl sitting next to me eating Japanese ramen in a small crowded foodcourt in Yongsan Shopping Mall that I have been meaning to try for a while after reading about it in a Neyver blog.
I was eating on the counter and was engrossed in my Tonkotsu ramen, gulping them down like a pig thinking I should have tried this place sooner, then this girl came and sat next to me because it was the only seat available in this busy joint.
At first, I only thought that she smelled nice and looked pretty from a side angle, but that was about it. However, when she placed her phone on the table and I unintentionally stole a glance at the screen, I was gobsmacked to find that she had the Webnovel app open - and not only that, she was reading MY frigging novel.
Ever since then, I kept on stealing glimpses of her from the corner of my eyes and the more her image filled my mind the more I became aware just how pretty she looked. To be honest, I have a pretty odd taste and my type of girl is not exactly what normies would consider to be a classic beauty, but on the cuteness level, she was 11 out of 10 for me with her puffy cheeks and round eyes.
She had what seemed to be a spicy Shoyu Ramen, but she seemed more focused on reading MY novel than the actual food, which filled my heart with infinite pride and immediately hatched a thousand butterflies in my stomach. It was an amazing feeling to find an actual reader of mine in real life, but to learn that I had such a cutey among my fans sent my heart racing.
Oh God… I have to talk to this girl.
I only have 40 days and nothing could ever come out of this little encounter, but on the other hand, this is the chance of my unlimited lifetime, as if Spring came in October.
However-
If I could hit on a random pretty girl just like that I wouldn't be an incel NEET that I was.
I was so nervous that I was shoveling the noodles into my mouth at frantic speed, only to realize that if I finished my meal too quick I'd have to get up and leave - losing my chance forever.
At the same time though, I could just sit here and eat slowly but that won't do any good either if I sat and did nothing.
Come on, Yui! Think of something! What's a good pickup line?!
But alas, the only pickup lines that kept on coming to my head were cringy joke ones that certainly had no real-life use cases - 'I like your shoes, do you wanna fuck?' As if I could ever say that!
Fortunately, though, the time was on my side - as it always was. Either she was an incredibly slow eater or she was so immersed in my awesome novel (which I thought sucked ass until this morning) that she was hardly progressing with her bowl of ramen.
Right, I'm gonna slow down as well and try to find the right moment to make a conversation.
I couldn't quite get a good look at which part she was reading and I was dying to find out because every now and then she let out sounds like 'hmm' and 'mm-hmm' and 'oh…'. She was clearly enjoying it!
Right - this is what I will do, I'm gonna have my Webnovel app open, casually have my phone placed where she could see it, and keep my fingers crossed that she will notice and talk to me first. She seemed to have gotten some text messages and replying to her friend or something just now, so now was a good time to pull this off while she was distracted.
Just as I opened my webnovel app though I noticed I got 1 notification.
Oh, that's right. Today is the day that I receive -
Hang on…
As soon as I realized the notification was for that one-star review that's been haunting me for eternity, I saw her with a distinct smirk on her face as her eyes were fixed on her phone screen. It all clicked in my head.
"YOU! YOU… You cruel, cruel, heartless bitch!"
I jumped up from my seat and shouted at her uncontrollably.
The girl was startled and her round eyes became even bigger, with her mouth open in shock at this unprovoked verbal assault from a scruffy-looking girl that was me.
"YOU are the fucker with the one-star review!!"
"How-, how did you…?"
Her hands were trembling slightly and she covered her mouth with both of them.
"I wrote that book! Do you know how much effort I put into it?!!"
"You are… Toobs?"
"DAMN RIGHT! I'm the author, Toobs!"
"You wrote this crap?"
"You just… Right to my face?!"
"Oh gees, I'm really sorry-. I didn't mean to. I'm really sorry! What's the other word for crap - hang on…"
This 'beauty' was thick and shameless.
I finally calmed down and sat back down on my seat again, still fuming but feeling defeated.
"What… was so bad about it?"
I asked her with my eyes looking down at her shoes.
"It's not that everything was bad… I mean it's only the plot, setting, characters, and writing that were bad"
"OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"
"But… but… the cover was good. Yes! The cover was good"
"…"
"…"
"It was AI…"
"Oh… you are… pretty good at using AI, I suppose?"
"Thanks…"
"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to. Gosh, how can I make it up to you?"
"Just kill me"
And I meant it.
Literally.