It had been a couple of weeks since I'd returned to work at Ji-Ho's company. The normalcy of the office felt like a refuge after the chaos of my personal life. Every day, I threw myself into work, avoiding thoughts of Jun and Seong, and the mess that had become my life. But even as I distracted myself, there was a heaviness that clung to me—an exhaustion that wasn't just physical, but emotional.
I was tired of everything.
That morning was no different. I was alone in my office, focused on finishing a stack of reports that needed filing. The sound of the busy office outside felt distant as I immersed myself in the quiet. I was lost in thought when a knock at the door interrupted me.
"Come in," I called out, my eyes still glued to the paper in front of me.
The door opened softly, and I half-expected it to be Ji-Ho or one of the assistants. But when I heard the familiar voice, the pen slipped from my fingers.
"Censia."
I froze, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. I knew that voice. Slowly, I lifted my gaze from the papers, and standing in the doorway was someone I thought I had left behind years ago.
Nathan Kim.
The first thing I noticed was how little he had changed—yet how much he had. His striking features were as sharp as I remembered, his chiseled jawline and high cheekbones still made him look like the model he once was. But now, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit, he had the air of a polished businessman. His smooth, styled hair only accentuated the undeniable handsomeness that once turned heads everywhere we went.
But even with all his good looks and charm, Nathan had always felt... less compared to someone like Jun or Seong. They had something deeper—an intensity and rawness that Nathan never quite had, even at his best.
"Nathan," I breathed, my voice barely a whisper as my heart rate picked up.
He stepped further into the office, closing the door behind him. For a moment, neither of us said anything. The silence between us was thick, almost suffocating. It was as if the memories from our past had suddenly burst into the room, swirling around us.
"It's been a long time," he said softly, his deep brown eyes locking with mine. "You look... different. In a good way."
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. The shock of seeing him again—after so many years of wondering what happened to him—was overwhelming. My heart raced, but I wasn't sure if it was from seeing him or from the bitter memories resurfacing.
"I didn't expect to see you," I finally managed, keeping my voice steady. "What are you doing here?"
Nathan gave me a small, knowing smile, the same one that once made my heart skip a beat. "I have a meeting with Ji-Ho about a business deal. Imagine my surprise when I saw you here. I couldn't believe it."
The irony of it all made me want to laugh, but I swallowed the urge. Of all the places Nathan could show up, it had to be here, just when my life was already a mess. I forced a tight smile, trying to keep the conversation as neutral as possible.
"Small world," I said, attempting to sound casual.
Nathan took a step closer, his eyes tracing my face as if trying to read what I was feeling. His expression softened, and there was something more vulnerable in his gaze than I remembered. "I... I missed you, Censia. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
His words struck me harder than I expected. Nathan had been my first serious love, the one I thought I'd spend forever with. But he left—abruptly, chasing his dreams of modeling and success, leaving me behind without a second thought.
A mix of anger and nostalgia welled up inside me, but I pushed it down. I couldn't let him see how much his sudden appearance was affecting me. Not now. Not after everything that had already happened.
"I've been fine," I said, avoiding his gaze. "Life goes on."
Nathan's face tightened, as if he could sense my walls going up. He stepped closer again, now standing just a few feet away from my desk. The scent of his cologne—familiar and foreign at the same time—lingered in the air between us.
"I never stopped thinking about you," he said quietly, his voice low and full of sincerity. "I made a mistake when I left, Censia. I thought I needed to focus on my career, but I should have stayed. With you."
My heart clenched at his words, and I felt a surge of old emotions rising up, uninvited. I hated that he still had this effect on me, that his presence could shake me so easily.
But as much as his words might have meant something once, now they felt hollow. There was too much between us, too much that had happened since he left. And after everything I had been through with Jun and Seong, I didn't have the energy to even think about rekindling something with Nathan.
"I don't need this, Nathan," I said, my voice firmer than before. "You walked away. You chose your career over me. You don't get to come back and act like nothing happened."
Nathan looked taken aback, but then his expression softened again. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not here to make excuses. I just... when I saw you again, I realized how much I missed you. I thought... maybe we could start over."
I shook my head, exhaustion creeping into my voice. "I'm not the same person I was back then. And I'm tired, Nathan. I'm tired of everything."
There was a long pause before Nathan spoke again, his voice softer now. "Then let me help. Just... let me be there for you. No strings attached."
I wanted to say no, to tell him to leave and never come back. But part of me—some small, broken part—was tired of being strong. Tired of fighting. And Nathan's offer of comfort, even if just for one night, felt too tempting to resist.
"Fine," I said, letting out a long breath. "But don't expect anything more than that."
Nathan smiled, relief washing over his features. "I'll take whatever you're willing to give."
Later, after work, we ended up at his high-rise apartment, a sleek, modern place that screamed wealth and success. We drank wine and talked about everything and nothing, avoiding the more painful parts of our past. For one night, I let myself forget about the tangled mess of my life and just... exist.
When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in Nathan's bed, wrapped in his arms. Panic surged through me for a moment, but then I realized I was still fully clothed, and the memories of the night before were hazy but harmless.
Nothing had happened.
I slipped out of his grasp quietly, grateful that, for once, something had gone right. But as I stood there, looking at Nathan's sleeping face, I knew it was time to leave.
I wasn't the same girl he had left behind. And I couldn't let myself get pulled back into the past.