As the sun rose over the horizon, Boldasarre and Ellustrya stirred awake in their bedrolls. There was an ominous growl in the distance, and heavy footsteps that made tremors reverberated throughout the landscape.
"What by the gods is that?" Boldasarre said nervously.
"Let us pray that it is not what I think it is," Ellustrya responded.
As the footsteps grew louder and louder, the pair jolted into a standing position, adrenaline racing through their veins and their fight-or-flight reflexes in full force.
"Boldasarre - help me tear down the camp," Ellustrya said with a hint of trepidation in her otherwise measured demeanor. "Quickly now!"
The pair quickly disassembled the camp as fast as they could - but they did have one major hindrance — their pants were around their ankles, and their underwear was on full display.
Ellustrya hurriedly doused the fire and packed up all of their belongings. She didn't even have time to appreciate the morning breeze against her bare legs. But the one thing that stood out even more than the rising sun was her bright white knickers.
The scrubs and thicket rustled, and out emerged a peculiar creature—it looked like a chicken, except with a bony tail, no beak, and alligator-like teeth. It stood about fifteen feet tall.
"Wait, is that a giant chicken or a dinosaur?" Boldasarre asked.
"Birds are dinosaurs, Boldasarre," Ellustrya added.
The creature looked like a tyrannosaur with feathers. Its feet thundered as it walked on its three front toes, with the fourth toe lifted off the ground and facing backward—a common trait with theropod dinosaurs.
It bobbed its head up and down as it foraged for food, perhaps even hoping to catch some meat. Boldasarre and Ellustrya shifted as quietly as they could, but their trousers rustled around their ankles as they shuffled awkwardly in their underwear.
And then the monster caught wind of them—and their underwear. It was mesmerized by the brilliant, sheer white of Ellustrya's gleaming, regal knickers, which accentuated and complemented her form so well.
"Boldasarre, listen to me very carefully," Ellustrya said, trying to remain calm and keeping her voice down. "This monster is attracted to the color white."
Boldasarre's heart sank - because they were both in bright white underwear.
"Isn't this a good time to pull up our trousers, Ellustrya?" Boldasarre inquired.
"We're only allotted one hour a day," Ellustrya responded. "We must save such a precious lifeline for when we encounter other people out in the wilderness."
"But isn't this an emergency?" Boldasarre asked. "I'm sure Aerisa and Celdine would understand, and they have no way of knowing if we've kept out pants down…"
"An elf never lies. An elf never breaks her promise!" Ellustrya said, abruptly cutting him off. "We will face this danger together - in our underwear!"
"I-If you insist, Lady Ellustrya!" Boldasarre said sheepishly.
The creature began to draw near, approaching the pair with caution. The pair froze in place like statues.
"It can't see us if we don't move, right?" Boldasarre said.
"Where did you get that utter nonsense?" Ellustrya shot back. "And my bright white knickers are visible from miles away! Even a bat could see them."
With its unsettling, jerky, bird-like movements, the creature strutted closer to them. Ellustrya knew full well how fast these creatures could strike - and their reflexes were superhuman.
"Boldasarre - run!" Ellustrya bellowed.
The two sprinted as fast as the pants, asphyxiating their ankles would allow them, trying desperately not to trip over their trousers that pooled over their feet.
"This was a bad day to wear white!" Ellustrya exclaimed, awkwardly waddling with a surprising amount of speed and grace. Her breeches flattened between her feet, stretching with each stride.
"Have you ever worn anything other than white, Lady Ellustrya?" Boldasarre asked curiously.
"Do not ask a lady about the color of her knickers!" Ellustrya shot back.
"O-okay, I'm sorry!" Boldasarre whimpered meekly.
It was undoubtedly a sight to behold: an ancient, ageless, beautiful Dark Elf Princess with attire as majestic as they came and her youthful companion being chased by a colossal chicken with their trousers down.
They shuffled as quickly as they could down the slope, the whites of their underwear standing out against the lush foliage. Boldasarre was clearly falling behind, the giant chicken hot on his heels that were currently bound by his stretched, flattened pants.
"Tarry not, Boldasarre!" Ellustrya shouted.
"I don't want to die in my underwear. That's not a way a guy to go!" Boldasarre said. "I don't want to be eaten by a giant chicken with my pants down!"
"Do not say such things, Boldasarre Ravenshade!" Ellustrya bellowed.
But the toothed bird was evidently closing the gap between it and the boy with his trousers around his ankles. Ellustrya had little choice, then, but to intervene.
With astonishing swiftness, she turned back and swept Boldasarre off his feet, moving him out of the way of the creature's snapping jaws in just the nick of time. She held him in a princess-carry.
"Fear not, Boldasarre," she assured him. "I will give my life to protect yours."
Boldasarre couldn't help but smile. There he was, being held in his underwear by a beautiful and strong woman, also in her underwear, with one of her lithe arms wrapped around his bare legs. And so, in the morning sun, the couple were running for their lives in their underwear, with Ellustrya literally doing most of the heavy lifting.
But then, disaster struck: Ellustrya tripped over her downed breeches, and she and Boldasarre began to ball down the slant. But perhaps this was a lucky accident: they were gaining even more momentum, increasing the distance between them and the monster.
But then the incline ended in an abrupt drop, and the two went over the precipice. The thick foliage below broke their fall. Ellustrya grunted, pushing herself up, slightly dazed.
"Are you all right, Boldasarre?" she asked with genuine concern.
"I-I think so…. but… that's not what concerns me right now!" He retorted.
"What? Is the creature still after us?"
"No, I think we lost it, but Lady Ellustrya… you're on top of me."
Ellustrya then realized that she was straddling Boldasarre as he lay supine, her knickers over his underwear. It was only the thin fabric of their undergarments that separated their netherregions. Her face blushed with a deep crimson red.
"This day just can't get any worse," she murmured.