Total darkness enveloped her. Everywhere she looked, anxiety consumed her being. It felt as if she could not feel her body, only the crushing weight of anguish squeezing her from within. She wanted to breathe, but she couldn't feel her throat, her chest, or her face, it was as if they didn't exist. Cinder resisted, she wanted to scream in horror at her helplessness. The palpitations of her heart thundered in her ears, shaking and rumbling inside her as if it were about to explode.
Suddenly, the darkness released her, letting her plummet into the abyss without a care. There was nothing to hold onto, her powers failed her. She fell at breakneck speed, like an inert body devoid of life, submerged in the void. Panic set in as she glimpsed uniform faces whispering their sins, voices fading in the black-haired girl's ears. Amidst the fall, Cinder managed to scream, a painful and horrific sound that tore through her insides.
The scream barely escaped her throat when she suddenly hit the surface. She lifted her face slightly from the frozen ground, finding herself in a kind of icy sea. The hard ice beneath her reflected like a mirror, her face close to that glassy floor. Cinder gazed at her reflection: her face bore no scars, and she was beautiful. Both eyes were whole, her hair long and cascading below her shoulders, just as it had been long ago. Yet instead of joy, she felt bewilderment.
She stood up as quickly as she could, examining her intact arms, just as they had been before. Her body was healthy and completely human. But before she could fully process this, she heard voices in the distance. Far off, in what seemed to be a forest clearing, she saw a group of people enjoying themselves, talking and laughing, all oblivious to the coldness of the frozen sea where Cinder stood. Only she seemed to see them. It took a moment for her to recognize some of their faces: Ozpin, Amber, Vernal... Pyrra... even Emerald and Mercury. Relief flooded her, accompanied by a sensation she didn't understand, her heart swelled with something she hadn't felt before. Happiness? Was she happy? Did she feel this way upon seeing them? So happy, so peaceful… so alive.
Her heart felt warm, and a small, honest smile appeared on her lips. She could watch them for hours, she had never experienced anything like this. She wished she could stay there... just...
"What a shame," a chilling voice whispered from behind her. "Don't you think, Cinder?"
The black-haired woman's eyes widened, her breath hitching. That voice, she would recognize it anywhere.
Her body was still in shock, so she barely managed to turn her head, looking at Salem's dark and macabre face. It was her: skin as white as chalk, black veins running through her body, eyes injected with infinite darkness. Cinder lost her balance and slipped, panic gripping her. Suddenly, Salem towered over her, her face and hands looming above, offering no escape.
"Look at your hands," Salem smiled ghoul-like. "They are so stained with blood."
Cinder felt the sticky, clotted liquid covering her body. It was her again: scarred, blind in one eye, and this time, her Grimm arm was drenched in blood. She looked at her other hand in horror, it was also covered.
"No," she managed to gasp.
"Look what you've done," Salem pointed out.
When Cinder turned her gaze, she found a pile of bodies, everyone she had seen before and more. The forest clearing and the icy sea vanished, replaced by a sea of bones, bodies, and blood in which she was slowly sinking.
"Wh…what is this?" Cinder trembled, tears streaming down her face like drops of blood.
"You have done your job."
"Why?" she gasped, choking on her tears, her gaze locked on her hands in terror. "Why did you make me do this?"
"Oh, dear," Salem whispered, her voice chillingly maternal. "I sent you, I told you what to do, but you made the decision. It was you who chose this path... You are solely responsible for all of this."
When Cinder looked up, disconcerted, she saw the most terrifying vision: it was no longer Salem before her, but herself, smiling in a dark, predatory way that chilled her to the bone. This darker version of herself was beautiful on the outside but demonic within. Cinder opened her eyes wide, shocked and trembling.
"It's all your fault," the dark reflection whispered, smiling. Cinder shut her eyes tightly, blood tears streaming down her face, her expression distorted by anguish.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed, a heartbreaking sound that released all the pain in her soul.
She woke up screaming, thrashing uncontrollably, desperation coursing through her. Her forehead was cold with sweat, and her body ached horrifically. The affliction consumed every cell of her being as she flailed her hands in an attempt to escape her suffering, but strong hands held her against the bed.
"Calm down," a voice rang out. "Calm down, Cinder." Tessa held her firmly to stop her from hurting herself. "It was just a nightmare. You need to calm down."
The black-haired woman struggled to catch her breath, scanning her surroundings, disoriented. After a moment, she focused on Tessa, whose worried expression only amplified Cinder's trembling. She still couldn't regulate her breathing.
"Calm down," Tessa murmured softly. "It's over." She brushed some hair from Cinder's face.
Cinder looked at Tessa, her gaze still trembling. The innocent woman had no idea, she didn't know the terrible monster lying within her home. Shame washed over Cinder, yet she didn't resist Tessa's grip. Instead, she turned her face away, signaling her discomfort.
Tessa released her immediately, allowing Cinder to settle into the bed, propped against the backrest, her gaze averted. She didn't want to speak or move, she didn't want anything. Tessa tried to meet her eyes, but it was futile, Cinder continued to stare blankly at a fixed point on the bed.
"You've been like this for three nights," Tessa whispered. "Although you're better now, your body is still weak, and these recurring nightmares can affect your recovery."
"I'm sorry," Cinder murmured.
"I'm not blaming you. I just want to help you," Tessa assured her sweetly. "Tell me how I can help."
Cinder shrugged her shoulders, dejected, hugging her legs without even looking at her. "You can't."
"Talk to me. That will help you."
"Now you're not only a nurse but also a psychologist?" Cinder shot back.
"You don't need to be a psychologist to know that sometimes you just need to release everything inside."
"Mmmm."
"Tell me, what are these nightmares about? What is it that scares you?"
"Fear?" Cinder spat, her anger flaring as she finally met Tessa's gaze.
"If it's not fear, what do you feel? Is it something else, anger? Bitterness? Guilt?"
Cinder's anger fizzled out, dissipating in seconds as memories of her sins and the demons haunting her resurfaced. Her hands grew clammy, heart racing. She squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to keep treacherous tears at bay.
"When you know who I truly am… you'll hate me."
"I already told you, no…"
"What you think I am is just a fraction of who I really am and what I've done." Cinder looked at Tessa, sadness etched across her face. "At least I'll be fair this time." She sighed. "I'll tell you the truth about myself and what I've done. I won't expect compassion from you once you know everything. I promise not to oppose whatever you decide to do with me… after I finish telling you."
Tessa looked at her in astonishment, her face a mix of anger and sadness. Cinder wasn't lying, she was ready to share her story, and Tessa seemed willing to listen. Tessa sat next to her, leaning against the bed's backrest.
"Go ahead," Tessa encouraged gently.
For hours, Cinder recounted her life: her decision to serve Salem for power, the innocent lives she had taken, the betrayals and manipulations, her encounters with the Maidens, the scars on her body and her Grimm arm, and her pursuit of Ruby and her companions. She even spoke of her battle with Raven and her subsequent defeat.
Silent tears streamed down Tessa's face as she listened to Cinder's harrowing tale and the horrors she had committed. Despite her tears, Tessa showed no hatred or fear, she remained silent, fully present.
"I've done too much wrong to deserve your care, or anyone else's," Cinder murmured. "Letting me die would have been more merciful."
"Cinder…"
"You need to leave me," she whispered slowly. "I… I'm going to do the same thing again. I won't stop." A lump formed in her throat. "That's what my life is about. I want power more than anything."
"Is that true?" Tessa asked, studying her intently as if trying to see into her soul. "Is that really what you want?"
Cinder let a few painful tears fall, saturating her face up to her chin. She pressed her lips together to stifle the river of tears that threatened to overflow. She felt pathetic, weak, human... and at that moment, Cinder wished she weren't herself.
Tessa placed a gentle hand on Cinder's cheek, caressing her face tenderly. She outlined Cinder's features with her fingers, studying her with a sad yet benevolent gaze. Tessa carefully guided Cinder's head into her lap, consoling her in her anguish. Cinder surrendered to the comfort, finally allowing herself to cry freely. She hugged Tessa's waist, finding solace in the gentle caresses of her back, perhaps receiving the blessing of consolation she had never known.
[T/N: If you like this chapter then leave a comment, write a review, and drop some stones. If you want to read a few advanced chapters then check out the P@treon or the Ko-fi.]
[Also check out my other books, either go to my profile or search up 'Invisible-a Harry Potter FanFic', 'Searching in the Abyss', or 'Omnitrix of Justice'.]
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