Song rec': Because I Liked A Boy— Sabrina Carpenter.
Moral Of The Story — Ashe.
Hurts So Good — Astrid S.
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tw: att. suicide, slight swearing.
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Never in my wildest dreams did I ever picture this. Maybe this was a dream, and I was still fast asleep on my bed back at home.
Alan swiftly sat up and pulled away from my half-sister, who smirked at me before looking away.
"This is why you've been avoiding me, huh?" I started, staring at Alan as my eyes welled up with tears.
"Elsie, I can explain." Alan said, but I cut him off.
"What's there to explain? You're in bed with my half-sister!" I yelled, trying to hold whatever sanity I had left in me.
"Oh, for Heaven's sake, do you want to pull the house down, Elspeth?" Heather spat, and I shot a glare at her.
Even though she was six months older, she was a grade behind me, which at least gave me some sort of superiority, but that didn't matter now.
"You think he's going to end up with you, huh? I'm pregnant, Alan. That's what I came to tell you." I announced.
Nothing prepared me for the reaction I got thereafter. Alan looked at me, a glint of satisfaction spasmed through his eyes before exchanging glances with Heather.
Heather burst into a maniacal laughter before slowly rising to her feet. Alan said nothing but leaned his head on the headboard, crossing his legs.
"Let me tell you something about this world, my dear sister," Heather began. "Something your family taught me a long time ago. Don't trust anyone. All my life, I've struggled so hard to get Father's attention, but no, it's always the legitimate one, it's always Elsie, 'my little girl' getting displayed for the whole world to see, receiving praises and gifts while I was forced to lurk in the shadows."
I wanted to say that our parents cared for her, that Mom took her as her own daughter, but I was too flushed to speak. I watched her continue.
"I endured every single one of it with hopes that I could get compensated for it in the future. Do you know what our dear father did? He declared you, Elspeth, as the heiress of Loughtons Beverages and Co. right there on your wretched sixteenth birthday party."
She sighed and took a cup of whiskey from Alan.
"That's when I knew that everything I'd hoped for had been taken away from me, and I was in dire need to act fast. Alan, the love of my life, came in, poor and desperate to pay off his family's debt. I had to endure watching him publicly shower you with affection while you stupidly got lost in the thrill, suspecting nothing. Why do you think Alan brought you to the club on your eighteenth birthday, fool? The idea was to record that tape and send it to Dad before posting it on social media, but if you're pregnant, my love, congratulations, that's even better news." An evil smirk drew across her lips as she proceeded to sit on Alan's lap.
I stared at them, frozen at the spot, trying to understand it all. The chance encounter I had with Alan at the library was all planned? I should've known better; he was just the new handsome kid in school that everyone adored, but his eyes were always on me, giving me the accurate impression that he liked me. Little did I know that I was walking into a laid trap, all to my sister's satisfaction.
"How could you do this?" I asked, looking at them in rage, my face soaked with tears as I calmed my trembling body down by clenching my fists tightly.
"Wrong question, dear. You should be thinking of what to do. Our lovely parents would be home tomorrow. You should get their grandchild ready for them. Now, that child in your womb would feel exactly the way I felt, second class and downgraded." Heather laughed, and Alan let out a chuckle before securing an arm around her waist.
"You witch!" I sneered, grabbing a baseball bat and tossing it at them. It landed on Heather's back, and she angrily rose up to retaliate. Alan held her back, "Babe, don't do that, okay? I'll handle this. You're already stressed." He assured, pecking her forehead and leaving her on the bed.
As he approached me, the realization that Heather had said the truth hit me, and the ground ignored my request to open up and swallow me whole.
Alan held me by my wrist and pulled me back to the living room. I didn't resist. My body just froze again in shock that I had witnessed him show physical affection to my sister.
"Just leave, Elspeth. Think of a way to deal with that thing." he spoke, letting me go.
"Thing? This is your child, Alan. Our child." I croaked.
"I don't care. You should've been wiser. You thought a pregnancy could pin me down?"
"Pin you down?"
"You should've taken your damned contraceptives. What were you expecting? We run to the countryside and start a small family?"
I said nothing, because that was what I expected.
He scoffed and tsked, "At a point, I actually did like you because I thought you were smart. To think that I planned to keep dating you if our plan failed and if you noticed any mistake, but you were so stupid. Take that thing out of here now that I'm still being nice to you."
"When my parents hear this, you wouldn't like what they'd do to you —"
Alan chuckled, "To me? Think about what they'd do to you, pregnant for a man who can't feed three times daily? The cars, clothes, and everything was Heather's doing, including the VIP access and drinks at the club. Get the f_ck out of here, Elspeth. We're through." He seethed, turning on his heels to take his leave.
I ran outside, getting into the car immediately and holding my tears. Sir Bacchus got the message and drove me home in silence, not asking what happened.
When I arrived, I ran straight up to my room and poured out my tears in Sally's arms while we cried together. After an hour, I asked her to give me time to be alone in my room, and she reluctantly complied.
As I closed the blinders and shut the curtains, that's when it hit me – Heather had clearly won this battle, and it would be impossible to hide this pregnancy.
I'd used up my allowance, so I couldn't get an abortion yet. When my parents returned, it would be hard to sneak out of the house at will. My life was already over, and there was no need to live any further, not with this child and not me.
I locked my bedroom door, turned off the lights, and turned on a tealight scented candle. I filled the bathtub with water. Thereafter, I took off my clothes and sat in the silence, which brings us to my current situation.
The water was cold, and so was the silent atmosphere. It was as if everything was placed on hold for this moment, like the world wanted me to leave its territory immediately. The man that I loved and the father of my child had left me for the devil's incarnate.
My life was ruined. If the press found out about this, then my family's business would be pulled down the drain. It's best if I died; maybe they'd flag it off as a minor accident – I slipped and fell.
My mom was still young, so she could birth another child to replace me, a child that wouldn't be so naive and stupid to make the wretched mistake that I made. When people said that love was stupid and childish, I thought they lied, and what I had with Alan was real, but all of it was a mere facade.
Without thinking any further, I slowly submerged myself in the icy cold water and let out my breath. Bubbles rippled up to the surface as the water passed through my nostrils, mouth, and ears.
I laid there with my eyes closed, allowing the water to fill up my lungs. Memories of childhood flashed through my head – every single memory that I cherished with my parents.
Death was indeed coming for me, and in my subconscious state, I envisioned the Grim Reaper walking towards me with his scythe in hand, ready to take me from this cruel world and end my misery. Then, I heard the door swing wide open.
Note: If you're struggling with difficult emotions or thoughts, please reach out to a trusted adult, mental health professional, or local support resources like hotlines. You can access your country's specific hotline via search engines like Google or your personal browser.