It had been few days since the battle, Aki had seen how dangerous it was to be powerless in the world once again. He had been wondering and pondering over it. It felt to him now, like nothing had essentially changed. It was still the same, the life was still the same as his previous one. It was like changing from one world to other, one body to another had done nothing but changed the form and means of his suffering. It was like he was still at war with the whole world.
No matter how many times he tried to think; he always felt, how naive he was to believe that changing a world or having ability to wield energy would change things for him. It was still the same, he was still the same. He was disappointed at his naive self. These last few days, he had been trying hard to accept that, but you tell me?
Is it that easy to change?
Is it that easy to just think and to be able to persist or struggle against your habits?
He had now found himself sinking into them once again. His mind had started to cloud. He was drowning once again. It might not have meant much to a normal genius child. But to a person who had lived through an adult life battling such desperations and to one who wields himself proud to have overcome them; it becomes a big deal to know that he barely scratched the surface of his fallacies.
To him it was now ample clear that potential meant nothing.
It was clear that what people referred to talent was just hard work.
What they referred to Intelligence was just knowledge or experience.
Aki had been so occupied with his psyche that he didnt even bother asking about Osuke, library or the world around. He was just lost. Lost in his thoughts. To him, nobody mattered but him.
Reincarnation had birthed and firmed few things for him. He could care, pray, love and dedicate efforts to others and his family but when it all boils down to the end, it was always him for himself.
[Complex-4]
Ah!..
Love, mechanics, concepts, control, panics
Carried over or not, Is it over or not
Bound to curse of changing ships
Am I only what persists?
What need of thee, so live alone I glee
Which does life, make me free?
If am free; won't remember thee,
If I see; I am not free.
Paradigm Paradox Plays with me
Oh!, How I wish for you to see
Psychotic, You'll suffer to my glee.
(Think of it like this,
If one does reincarnate. As usual, memories are lost, new changes occurs.
What is to say your enemy or murderer in your current life wasn't your loving mother in last or if your loving father wasn't your rapist that killed you in glee aghast?
If I was a playful, powerful god as you say, I'd do this for fun anyday.
What is to make sure that it is not an elaborate game?
What does that make you?
What does then all the connections that we are all; so... proud of even mean?
Do they mean anything to you or are they just means to an end?
If they are not means to an end, then do you know how you'd recognise your current mother in proceeding life?
I wish I'd know these answers one day.
Maybe I'd be at peace of destruction that day.
If not, may you also suffer from such understanding.
We'll learn from you, what becomes of you, whether you live alone or live along me.
Such were the fates of powerless you and me.)
YOR(system) flashed before his eyes and showed the complex. Reading it he felt, his past self was mocking him. It felt as if he was saying try as you might, the more you remain; the more you'll become one of us.
This complex was one of the many he had written in his psychotic trance. After reading it, Aki went through all those split decisions, feelings, personalities, perceptions and consequences that made him write this for his future self.
This was a warning of sorts mixed with enlightenment for him. This did the trick for him. It brought Aki all the feelings and conclusions he was supposed to go through, bear the consequences of and learn.
The runic structure of complex did it for him; and brought all that suffering with undue ugliness to him. This not only polished his psyche, it also added a hint of madness and hunger to it. His contentment with whatever he was, still present with an under-current of greed, hunger and madness now flowing in stillness.
It made Aki feel more complete, more serene, more understanding of what he was, of his intellect and emotions. This made task of completing quests easier.
Had he not thought and felt as he did, YOR would have never shown him this complex. It was like his reward for last few days of suffering.
'YOR, show me notifications.'
-Know thyself know thy people
A path long trodden is one taken knowing oneself and people around. To those who venture blindly, will remain tiny and long forgotten are such existences primly.
!!!Completion rate:- 25.107%
Reward:- (The Will of an Ant)
-Status of things
You have been reborn with knowledge and memories. Some forgotten, absent, restricted, taken in the detest. Solve the puzzle of your existence and know the status of your being and world; for those are the valuables you have, the essence of your existence, the privilege of your owning.
Type: Existential quest: repeatable and evolves with your understanding.
Completion: Irrelevant
Reward: Insights of YOR.
-Training
Confuse, you are who thinks of punches weights when training is told. A training is one which holds mind, spirit, body together to a goal. Strengthen what remains weak, will of survival in a deserted creak, still remain to see and seek, more for so that you still remain weak.
!!!Task-1: Understand, formulate a plan and routine which encompasses the guidance.
!!!Plan:- Yogic and Shaolin Stretches
Meditation
+Training with Mom
+Runic understanding.
~~~pending~~~
!!!Completion:- 0/100 days
>Task-2: (locked)
Type: Repeatable, unquenchable, developing.
Rewards: depends on effectiveness of completion.
-Red Routine:
A world of red, miraj unfed, cowered I'm free for I am bound to thee.
Find me ruin, runes to sewin', perceptive pancreal, decipher unreal, leaves no trail, parts prevail.
This quest tracks your progress of red and provides you with hints to better cultivate it.
Status:(locked)
Completion level: 0/100 (corresponds to the level reached in Maraj-e-Qutb-e-Mular).
Hint: Enter Qutb to unlock.
Description:-
Where order and chaos reinstate one another,
Where craved and starved reimburse one another,
Where will of stature exits,
There, so hence, a serene mind persists.
!!!Understanding:- 30.01%
!!!
Description:-
Clouded realms of existence are banned, long forgotten
Persist now sane for thou Insane path, lone trodden
Knows not the slithering snakes or scorpion, obsessed passion
Finished thou are enemies throu tasks of perception, determination.
Understanding:- 10.52%
••••
[+30 Will]
[Charisma stat unclocked, +10 stat].
...
Aki read notifications and simultaneously formulated an immediate plan to strengthen himself. He was going to get mom, and grandpa to teach him by any means.
But before that,
'I should go talk to dad properly, I haven't greeted him in earnest since he woke up after the battle. Mom is also worried.
Enough sulking and pondering for now. Let's fucking do this.'