Summary:
A princess with a bit too much in her bite
Rose took a deep breath. She was about to try and reunite with the Butterfly family once more, which would no doubt cause her either headaches or misery. She really shouldn't, but she promised Dirhhennia to look after the girl. So with a steel heart, she opened the door … to a massive whiteboard, full of drawings, lines, and numbers.
"Okay, I'm already well into the first year of being Queen and I've already created five hundred spells. If I cut out four hours of sleep everyday for the next year I'll be able to double the end of it. And if I plan out multiple surprise parties for each kingdom's birthday right now, I can save myself about sixty hours dedicated to planning out how to restore our crops…" The girl had multiple markings from the pens she was using all across her face.
This was not what she expected from a queen in the slightest. "Um … Hello." She spoke up, getting Cresenta's attention.
"Oh good, you're here, now I won't have to hunt you down." What? The queen went over and dragged out a pink board. "I had multiple plans for conflict resolution based on deals and favors. You're Mewni's long term plan after all, given your immortal nature."
"I…see…you've been quite…dedicated." She looked over the broad, about half of it were plans on how to convince her to work with the Butterfly's. Most of them involved seduction of some kind.
"Of course I am, my mom drowned the kingdom in debt and my sister didn't do anything worthwhile, that means someone has to bring this kingdom back in tip top shape." She smiled. "I've been working on this plan ever since I was six."
"Since you were…stars girl, I don't think Skywyne was ever this obsessed with her time management." She looked over the walls filled with plans and ideas. "What would you have done if you weren't given the throne?"
"I would have been a right hand associate. Peace manager, financial distributor, that one person that takes people to dark alleys for the sake of world peace. Like Jushtin was." She began writing. "Emily has been a big help, but she went back to her kingdom so it's … just been me for a while." She shook herself. "Woopsie." She aimed the winged heart shaped wand at her head and taped it on her face. "Regiis Solum Lacrimae." And her smile became twice as long as a black mist was pulled out. "Almost let that dark thought take root in my head. Good thing I stopped it!"
"…You know what, I was friends with the Queen of Darkness, that's not even in the top ten most troubling uses of magic I've ever seen." Rose rolled her eyes. "So since I'm here, and you're willing to talk, I'd like to hear your opinion on the monsters.."
"Mom was pretty ruthless when she told us that they were devil scum that needed to be cleansed from the earth." Damn you Omni! "But honestly, I don't think they're evil, just chaotic." She shrugged. "If we can get them a kingdom, and make them realize they don't need to live like animals, then they and people will one day be able to live in … somewhat more harmony."
"And like that you've bumped up my favorite queen list by a few pegs." Rose smirked. "I've already been helping them build a community, even if it was half in spite of Mewmans at first."
"Perfect, now we have a head start." Cresenta smiled, showing off a picture. "I plan on setting up an election, then rigging it in favor of the Avarius family."
"The Avarius?" Rose questioned. They were a rather large family of Kappa's that have been around for quite a while. While she wasn't particularly against them, she didn't remember them doing anything of worth.
"A completely neutral group that doesn't care about race, merely gains." Cresenta explained. "They'll be perfect to take charge and raise them up."
"I suppose that makes sense when you put it like that….but there are a other's with more experience leading…
"Just because you sleep with Seth doesn't make him the ideal king of all monsters." Crescenta turned to Rose with a skeptical look. "Be honest, do you trust the lizard, who would theoretically gain the power of all Monster kind, to never try and commit Genocide against Mewmans?"
Rose was taken aback at the blunt question, but she couldn't find it in herself to disagree with the logic. "Well you've certainly thought about it for much longer than I have obviously, so I'll drum up buzz for the election, and at least try to make it believable that Avarius can be popular enough for the vote."
"Oh yeah, I was gonna lend them corn for it." The queen answered. "I mean I get we're in debt, but I already have a money laundry scheme working in the neverzone … compound interest works wonders in a world where time accelerates."
"... I should really introduce you to Pearl." She might actually end up learning a thing or two about compartmentalizing complex thoughts.
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Emily Kelpbottom was quite confused about the situation at hand. "Wait, I thought you hated the castle or something." She responded as she walked with the one and only Rose Guard, which was kinda cool honestly. "Why are you saying they need help?" Not that she wouldn't, Cresenta was her best friend, but life made it hard to stay together.
"I didn't hate the castle, it's just…let's just say the Magical High Commission made certain decisions with Festiva I was not a fan of." The Rose guard rubbed her arms. "As for the second question…you have noticed that Crescenta uses magic on herself alot, right?"
"Oh yeah, she said she was planning to 'build up the bloodline' or something when we were kids." She explained. "Just minor stuff though. Levitato, dress up … that one monster arm spell when she got really curious."
"You know, Glossaryck said he plans on using the spell to give Rhombulus snake arms …" Rose laughed. "Oh, he's an asshole but he does his job … but seriously, there are some spells she uses that are a bit more extreme." The knight went on. "She uses magic to sleep one hour a week."
"I tried not to think too much about it since she's always genuine about wanting to be helpful, but that time she made a spell to help pigs fly did seem a little ridiculous." Emily recalled. "Then she made one to help penguins fly, and she always goes back and forth about making a spell that can give snakes arms and legs."
"Honestly when you've lived in a cave you get used to it." The woman shrugged. "But I still think you can be a positive influence."
"Are you sure about that?" The seafolk girl raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, we get along and we practically know each other like the back of our hands, but..she's never exactly listened to me before." She held her head down a little. "A lot of our girl talk involves us agreeing we can't trust anyone to fix our problems."
"Sadly that's somewhat true, given the nature of the Commission." The pink lady rubbed her head. "But I think she listens more than you think." She walked up, opening the door. "Crescenta, you there?"
"One minute! Regiis Solum Lacrimae." The girl she spent her childhood with held the wand to her face, pulling a black mass out of it. "I'm going to need to get some new bottles at this point, I'm running out of space for these negative thoughts."
"Yeah, that's a lot of bottles…" Emily looked at the room, where there were shelves and shelves of the stuff surrounding them. An entire cloud of negativity just waiting to be unleashed on them if there was a single crack. "Hey, since I'm here, why don't we have our girl talk now."
"Oh, Emily!" The girl looked startled by her appearance. "I didn't know you were coming, I would have changed into something more formal."
Emily looked down at the … form fitting pajamas … "No, it's fine. We're friends after all." She waved off. "I haven't heard from you in a while."
"Sorry, I got busy. Rose has been a big help to my operations, and so has Pearl. I think she might be my favorite gem!" She pointed to a pale lady in the corner of the room, shaking and trembling as she connected dots and strings together. "See, she's so eager and dedicated!"
"Dividing by the square root and we'll get an extra two point five minutes for discussing peace negotiations, and we can pull that off we can guarantee and at least one hour dedicated to painting the castle, which will give us five extra minutes to aid in the construction of the planned monster castle…" The lady had dark circles around her eyes, which was weird considering she thought these rock people didn't need to sleep.
"She's too into the zone." Rose grabbed the woman, dragging her out. "You two have fun, I'll give her a moment to breathe." She closed the door, leaving the two of them alone.
The Rose Guard was obviously a smart woman, because now she was here to deal with probably the bigger mess that was right in front of her. "So, it seems Queen life has been keeping you busy, have you made any new spells lately?"
"Oh yes. I recently made one that lights up a room while setting everyone on fire, just in case you're stuck in a dark space with bandits. And a spell that can place wings on small objects to float to destinations on tuesday."
"Those are…oddly specific."
"Meh, I haven't had time to work on the after effects or limitations. Mom and big sis left me a lot of work to do." The queen smiled. "How've you been, got that medical degree?"
"Halfway there, although something tells me I may need to extend that to include a psychology doctorate…."
"Oh, let me guess, annoying friends." The girl smirked.
"Nah, just annoying people in general, you know you're the only one I can count on to not be annoying." Emily responded with a smirk of her own. "Why don't we head to the spa or bounce lounge and just…relax. I think you've done enough work to cover two lifetimes by this point."
"I know right? that's why I need to keep going!" Crescenta went back to the board. "I can't afford to end up like Dirhhennia and be a lazy depressed bum!" Ooh, sibling drama, that explained a lot.
"Now that's untrue." Emily said, trying to reason with her. "I've seen that the body doesn't respond well with too much stress. You need hobbies that relax you, otherwise it ends up destroying itself."
"Destroying myself….hmmm." The girl looked to herself and the wand for a second. "I guess if I'm too stressed I can't function, and if I can't function, then I'll slack off and then the Magical High Commission will think of ways to replace me like my sister."
"One day won't hurt when you've already done so much." She went over, giving the girl a hug. "Just let Rose handle it while me and you have some fun."
"Well … alright." Crescenta nodded. "So … what do you have for a hobby, because I have nothing to fall onto."
"You still have that spell where you make a bubble that allows you to breathe underwater?" Her friend nodded eagerly. "Then we're heading to the Waterfolk castle and catching you up on some of the latest trends…because you could quite frankly use a wardrobe update."
"...What's wrong with how I dress?"
"We'll start by getting you something that isn't covered in bunnies and go from there."
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Seth liked to think he was a patient man, one who rarely let his emotions get the best of him, and could very well work with any monster … the Avarice family proved him wrong as he punched a tree. "Those no good, double dealing, sons of bitches!" They had corn … too much corn for a Kapa. "I knew I should've dealt with those bribing backstabbers the moment I had the chance!"
"You wouldn't have done that." The woman he poured his heart out to spoke up. "Monsters don't have a jail system, and you and I both know you don't have the heart to hurt fellow monsters. You're not like the extreme Serpentari."
"You'd be surprised just how far I can push the envelope." He growled before sighing. "All those years of good will and motivation…just doesn't matter as long as there's a few kernels of corn in their stomachs. So much for loyalty."
"Well to be fair…it is really good corn." Rose said as she shrugged. "What's the matter? Monster's will have an officially recognized kingdom of their own. Isn't that what we've been working for?"
"What's the matter is that the Avarice are completely drowned within their own greed." He retorted. "Soon we'll be in more debt than Festiva because of their selfish actions to satiate their own desire and lust for power." Seth punched the tree again. "Not to mention we're now under the control of the Mewmans."
"What makes you say that?"
"Do you really expect them to let us walk into the streets they walk in, for monsters to enter the same buildings they live in, for us to share the exact same food on the same table…just like that?" Seth raised an eyebrow.
"... Yes, that's kind of my end game." Rose nodded ignorantly. "Peace between Mewmans and Monsters."
"Then you're as naive as you are beautiful. This…kingdom we now have is just a cobbled up court of Jesters and fools. They don't have the spines to do what needs to be done! It's only a matter of time before those tyrannical insects bring us to our doom!"
"... Do you know what a tyrant is?" She asked, uncharacteristically emotionless, eyes containing a cold frost within them.
"Going by your tone of voice, I'm guessing your definition doesn't exactly align with my own."
"A tyrant … is flawless." She began taking small steps to him. "A tyrant is so unbelievably perfect they hold all things to the same standard. If they can't match the standard set, they die. In some cases, a fate worse than death. A tyrant is someone who has power beyond power, that can never be fought no matter how hard you try." She leaned in close, holding his chest. "A tyrant is someone who eradicates all matter and darkness until only their own light shines through all of space and time." She pushed him against a tree. "So take my advice … and don't expect everyone to be a tyrant … because I would put them down the moment I suspected they were."
"So the pretty little rose has quite a few thorns on her?" Seth was both frightened and immensely intrigued by this new side of his lover. "You could wipe out either side whenever you want, and you'd be hailed a hero no matter what. Must be nice when you can play both sides."
"That's the thing, I don't want either side wiped out." She dropped him. "Even the new queen realizes that wiping one side out in the end is just a dumbass idea. I thought I got it through your head that we don't need war!"
"War comes eventually, whether we want it to or not." Seth picked himself up. "That's the one thing that every creature, Monster or Mewman can agree on: we're always finding new ways to hate each other."
"And here's something I will state for a fact. I will end every war that a moron feels like starting."
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She was just a simple maid, doing her job of presenting food as Queen Cresceta ate with Rose, a strange and distant look on her face. "So they just forced Skywyne to have another baby just like that?" The Queen said with hints of disapproval in her tone.
"Yes, just because 'the matriarchy must be kept' and such." The Rose Guard complained. "He would have been able to keep his position if she never gave in, but the pressure became too much for her mind … poor girl."
"Yikes, I knew the MHC were ruthless, but they really are just a couple of bastards. No wonder why Glosseryck cursed Rhombulus." Crescenta sipped a cup of tea. "Speaking of, I was reading Solaria's chapte-"
"Don't."
"I didn't even ask yet."
"That chapter is just genocide, don't trust it." Rose reaffirmed with a raised fork. "Trust me, it's not worth it."
"I don't care about any of that stuff." Crescenta complained. "I was just going to ask about the ethics of a queen using a sperm donor." She had to tense her entire body to not drop the tray in shock.
"Truth be told, I believe you'd believe the…either fifth or sixth Queen to do so." The knight said casually as the maid tried to recompose herself. "Although between you and me, Solaria actually legitimately fell for Alfonse, she just chose to never have Eclipsa acknowledge him because of some nonsense about being 'dragged down' or something."
The queen hummed. "Well it's getting time for me to have a child and i've been going through options."
"Of course you have." The Rose Guard snorted.
"My main choices are either the most genetically superior male, or a puppet king who doesn't actually require me in a bedroom, for appearances so no one ever says anything behind my daughter or son's back." How were they talking about this so casually!?
"The first one's slightly iffy for me personally because I see life as beautiful no matter where you come from, and the second one can lead into a sense of self-entitlement if you're not careful." The Rose Guard offered her opinion. "And you can always just levitato away anyone that has a problem with what you decide."
"Oh I can, and I will, I'm just looking after my future child's self esteem." They shrugged. "Alright, maybe I should focus on intelligence … a kingdom wide challenge with a hidden prize." She snapped her fingers. "A riddle."
"A smaller question." Rose asked. "Why don't you just … wait till you find love?"
"Doesn't work. I'm too superior to men."
"And here I thought Seth was the one with the complex." Rose muttered.
"I'm serious here." Cresenta stated with a mock pout. "I was the first queen to ever go through Mewberty without attacking a single boy." The girl declared with pride. "I just went to Emily for some reason, and she petted me like a kitten."
Rose stared at the girl, before squealing like she was a teen. "Don't you see what this means?"
"That I'm awesome?"
"No! It means that you prefer girls to boys!"
".... Yeah, that's what I just said."
"No, like, romantically." She smirked. "Someone has a crush on Emily."
"Who does?" The Queen legitimately asked.
"...Are you being serious right now?" The Rose Guard looked at the queen, being just as flummoxed as the maid was right now.
"Serious about what?" Crescenta raised an eyebrow.
"...I think I'll just let this run its course naturally." Probably for the best.
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Crescenta had few happy moments in her life. Legitimately happy moments instead of just the mask a queen must have. There was getting the wand, making up with the Rose Guard without trying, talking with Emily, that one time with Emily in the hot tub … but this, this right here ranked at the very top. No matter how painful and exhausted she felt …
"Next spell I make … painless childbirth …" She looked at her baby, holding the little one in her arms. An adorable baby girl with infinity marks on her cheeks. "Infinity huh…the sky's going to be the limit for you, isn't it?"
"She's so adorable." Rose spoke, small tears falling down her face, which made her feel better on contact. "What are you going to name her?"
She took another look at her bundle of joy, the girl let out a light yawn that could've been confused for a cat meowing. "I think I'll call her…Rhina. Yeah….Rhina Butterfly." She held onto her baby gently but tightly.
Emily opened the door just a crack from the corner of her view. "Can I come in now?"
"Yes … look at little Rhina over here." She let the little girl get a good look at her companion. "She's beautiful, Emily, absolutely beautiful."
"She probably gets that from her mom." Emily said as she rubbed her little darling's cheek. "Hey there, little gal. I'm your Aunt Emily. You're going to be seeing me around alot, so get used to the green skin."
Her daughter gave a giggle at that, gazing into her eyes. "Aww, so adorable …" Rose cooed.
"Yes, she is, and she's going to grow up into someone amazing." Cresenta felt so warm and welcomed around her friends…no…around her family.
Her mom was a party animal and her sister was a recluse. Rose and Emily…they filled those missing holes in her life…she could trust them.