Summary:
Family, a weird thing to have
Peridot stared at the object in her hand. "I wasted my week." She tossed the thing known as 'corn' in the fire. "Completely pointless."
"Hey, that's good corn you're burning up!" Star berated as she protectively covered the piles of worthless vegetation. "Burning it is basically burning up Mewni's livelihood!"
"Then most Mewmans must lead sad and unproductive lives." Peridot went to the nearest wall and banged her head against it. "I thought you said growing vegetables meant giving life to the earth?" She questioned Marco.
"Well yeah, it's technically alive." He answered. "They eat up carbon dioxide, h2o, and sunlight in order to produce oxygen and grow. They also give food that attracts animals into spreading the seeds for their offspring."
"Yeah, but I ment like, walk and do as I say alive. It would have been like a Kindergarten …" Peridot looked at the sky, feeling nostalgic. "Whenever those guys came out of the ground, with a look of bafflement, I told them their purpose …"
"So you wanted to be in charge of something again?" Kelly stated a bit bluntly.
"Yes! Do you know of a lifeform I can grow in the ground and give commands to?" She asked. "Like those corn creatures I read about on forms. So intelligent, it's astounding."
"Heh, yeah, that's a long story we should probably tell you about later." Steven chuckled as he held something behind his back. "I thought something like this would probably happen, so I got you this." He pulled out from behind something behind his back and presented it to her.
"Arf! Arf!" A round and orange orb known as a 'pumpkin' was shown, except it had four stumpy limbs along with a face. "Arf!" The vegetation lept from Steven's grasp and began circling around herself.
"Life at my command?" She stared, before breaking out into a smile. "This is excellent!" She grabbed the little gal, bringing her up. "You will be designated as Pumpkin, and your purpose shall be search and retrieval."
"Arf! Arf!" It began spreading its tongue over her face.
"Agh! It senses danger and is retaliating!"
"No, that just means she likes you." Steven explained. "It's going to be a while before she does what you want her to do. That's what having a pet is all about."
"Ah, training, the best part of raising life." They acknowledged. "Now let's start with some basic-" A siren went off, sending Pumpkin jumping around in a panic. "Oh, the security alarm. Someone must have tripped the electrified fence I was working on."
"You did make sure the settings were non lethal, right?" Marco asked her tentatively.
"Of course … I ran out of power before I could upgrade." She clarified. "Any intruding gem would just be poofed with a mild headache upon re-emerging."
"What about any intruding human?" Steven asked.
"Hmm, I don't know….humans can survive lightning strikes, right?"
The boy sighed. "Come on Star, we may as well see if you got my healing spit."
"I've been kissing Tom a lot and nothing has happened." Star shrugged as she walked outside with Steven.
Kelly chuckled at the sight. "So what are the odds that this'll end up going south fast?"
"WHAT THE HECK DID YOU HIPPIES DO TO THE BARN?!?!" A newer, older voice shouted.
"I'd say … faster than normal." Marco sighed.
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Greg drove up, gems in tow in case things got messy; running and panting as the man he knew for ages continued to yell at them all with increasing anger. "Andy, wait!" He shouted.
The man paused, turning to him. "Greg! Perfect, you can help me run these freeloaders off the barn!" He pointed to the kids that didn't look worried in the slightest.
"Wait, dad, you know him?" At Steven's question, the man stopped.
"You had a son and you didn't tell me!?" He shouted.
"It's been ages, and i didn't know until…Okay, too many questions at once!" Greg shouted before he turned to his son. "Steven, this is my cousin, Andy Demayo."
"Nice to meet you sir." The boy smiled. "It's nice to meet a new family member, even if they shout and threaten me most of the time." He chuckled awkwardly.
"Heheh, sorry about that, squirt. I'm not used to talking to Nephews, you know, on account that I didn't know I had one." Andy scowled back at Greg.
"Again, long story." Star explained. "I'm also his Step sister, Star Butterfly. A pleasure to meet ya uncle Andy." She held out her hand.
"A Nephew and a Niece. How about that?" Andy chuckled and scooped the two into a hug. "Wait? Butterfly? Is that actually your real name or did you change it like the dingus over here?" Andy pointed to him.
"Real name, i've got …" The girl began counting on her finger. "Six or seven generations of it? We're not from Earth."
"..." Andy leaned over to him. "Did you remarry an alien?"
"Technically I was never married at all.."
"You what!?" Right, he forgot about the more 'traditional' views Andy had.
"But no. Rose…disappeared and passed away before she gave birth to Steven, and Star's family have been taking care of him for the past thirteen years." He then pointed to him and the gems. "Me and…Rose's family have just now been getting to know him."
"Oh … I'm sorry to hear." The man gave him a sympathetic hug, which he returned. "It's tough … losing family."
"Yeah, it can be." There were some nights where he'd be afraid that it was all a dream. "They've needed to use the barn for spare parts a few times, so I've let the green one, Peridot stay."
"Oh that's real sweet of you…except that you forget to mention that this is my parents' barn!" And Andy went right back to being annoyed. It was bliss while it lasted.
"Please uncle Andy." Steven brought out the puppy dog eyes. "She's taken really good care of it. She's been growing plants and even set up a fence."
"Yeah, the fence that almost fried my tuchus." He grumbled.
"And the Barn means so much to her, to all of us!" Steven gestured to all of them. "We have so many memories here! Building robots, building drills, saving the planet..."
"I'll give you one thing Greg, you have a really cute kid." Andy admitted. "I know that didn't come from you." He sighed. "It means a lot to me too. Every Thanksgiving, all the Demayo's would meet up here, have a big meal, share a laugh, decades of tradition."
"We can bring tradition, right?" Star said.
"Yeah, we can throw a big feast and everything as a family!" Steven shouted. "We can get a turkey and everything."
"Hm…" Andy looked contemplative. "Fine, but only because I lost my sandwich flying over the Atlantic."
"You fly!?" Star shouted. "But you don't have any wings on your back!"
His cousin just laughed. "Well some of us don't need fancy-smancy hippie magic to get things done. I've been a proud pilot for the past twenty years."
"You keep saying 'hippie', but what is-" Marco put a hand on Steven's shoulder.
"Don't ask man … it's for the best."
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"Rainbow funnel suction storm!" Star waved her wand over the field of corn and picked as many shucks as possible.
"So you guys are … legitimately magic?" Andy asked her with wide eyes.
"Yep, well I am at least. It comes from my mom's side of the family." Star explained. "The gems are aliens from space, an entirely different thing."
"Yeah, my mom was friends with her family for hundreds of years, so it worked out pretty well for me." Steven continued as he caught all the corn in an upside down bubble. "Nice. If there's one thing the Butterflies know more than fighting, it's the best way to cook corn."
"Yeah … yeah." The man looked at the large pile of food. "You know, when you guys said thanksgiving, I didn't think you had a family that would eat this much."
"A lot of us have to set aside for Amethyst alone, or else she'll eat everything on the table…and probably the table itself for dessert." Marco explained as he chopped up some carrots all fancy like. "Plus we like to extend the term family a lot."
"Mostly to people that start off trying to hurt us but over time learn to appreciate life in all its glory." Steven added.
"… Look, I can call child protective services if something wrong is happening." The man offered.
"Nah, it's fine. I got a wand for that kind of stuff." Star waved off with a snort. "And none of us are slouches in a fight. In fact Kelly can…hey, where is she?"
"I got the turkey." They all turned to Kelly … dragging a house sized turkey behind her. "Who wants to help carve and stuff it?"
"Whoa..dang." Andy looked at the size of the bird with an impressed whistle. "Steven, your girlfriend is packing. Where'd you find her?"
"In another dimension my magical lion took me to." The look on the man's face was of complete bafflement. "In fact, he's right over there with all the other pets."
They turned around and indeed saw Lion, who was nuzzling with Steven jr right alongside Pumpkin, who was sleeping against Marco's dragon cycle Nachos. "Sure you're not running a zoo as a side business?" Andy asked.
"No no …" Marco trailed off. "Although maybe …"
"Marco." Star accused with a look.
"Come on, you and Steven lost the Royal Funds, we all need some income."
"You still get royalty checks, Ms. Turdina." Kelly laughed.
"Half … turns out a good chunk of my sellers were guys hoping to play with girl dolls." The dude shivered. "I did not need to see the discarded figures Princess Handy …"
"You have some pretty weird friends, Steven." Andy remarked as he looked at the stove Peridot crafter from abandoned airplane scraps. "Kind of a shame to see the old parts get used like this though."
"Were there a lot of pilots in the family?" Steven asked.
"Oh, quite a few. For the longest time we were known as the Daring Demayos." Andy remembered fondly as he began peeling a potato. "I got my pilot's license, thinking I could take my family traveling all over the world…then your doofus dad left and things fell apart from there." He sighed. "It's fine though. I got all the time in the world to go where I want..alone…with nothing but my thoughts."
"Well don't you worry Andy." Star patted his back. "With this much family, you'll never have to think again!"
"Excuse me, Marco?" They turned to Pearl, who was holding a gravestone that said 'happy birthday'. "Where should I place the wreath?"
Andy actually managed to laugh. "Hah, okay, that's almost too much to handle at once."
"You should've seen Star when she first came to Earth." Marco responded. "I'm pretty sure she's still convinced that cars are run by ostriches in the motor."
"Of course not Marco, don't be ridiculous." She would find those Ostriches and ride them into the sunset one day. "You will never dissuade me about my theory about giraffes though. They're evil demons, and I'll be ready for them when they strike!"
"I can't tell whether or not I should take that seriously." Andy turned to her brother.
"She supported me when I became obsessed and crazy over space marbles, so put it in the definite maybe pile." Steven suggested.
"Hmm …" The man merely nodded. "Well, let's get cooking, we have a lot to do."
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This was weird, so weird and crazy. But worst of all, it was awkward! He spent his time having to fly around cause family was everywhere, only to discover the one place they all SHOULD be at was inhabited by an entirely new one.
It would be one thing if it was just Greg he found here, he'd just kick his ass for hiding from his family for over two decades, then maybe grab a beer or two to catch up, but nope. Not only did he have to learn to be with his admittedly cute nephew, but the kid managed to fit two seemingly completely different groups of people at the table. Andy felt completely out of place.
"So, how is Mewni handling the fact Eclipsa is a free woman?" The tall thin one asked, not having eaten a single bite of anything since her arrival.
"Not as panicky as one would assume, but no one is willing to stay in the same room as me for more than five seconds." The well dressed green haired woman that definitely gave off the vibe of a witch said playfully. "On the bright side, the candy store is always empty whenever I enter now. No lines, no hassle."
"How is it the woman has minor amounts of stored fat while Steven has a large layer, despite their equal intake?" The little green gal living in his barn asked.
"My metabolism is remarkably fast.."
"She used dark magic on herself to prevent weight gain." Star remarked with a snort. "I saw the spell in her chapter. Only reason I never used it was because it requires the caster to drink twelve gallons of hot sauce as they cast it."
The woman chuckled. "Hurt like the fires of hades, but I like to think it was worth it."
"Pfft, baby stuff." The buff lady with the square afro scoffed with a monotone smile. "I take a dip in lava almost everyday and I feel refreshed."
The lady in the blue dress looked over at the Afro one. "This is why I don't let Steven live with you."
"Aren't you the one that let him ride on the magic pink lion for most of his life?" The purple lady asked with an amused snort.
"Lion is tame…for the most part." The blue dressed woman answered.
"Also nobody can really do anything about him." A short man added. "He tends to break through metal and warp out of cages."
"Oh, Heckapoo could spend a whole year describing every single story about her failed attempts to keep Lion locked up." Star's red hooded friend, Marco he believed it was, laughed. "In fact, she did. One of her clones got drunk and I spent a year in the neverzone listening to her rant while fighting through a hoard of zombies."
"I always end up forgetting that me and Steven had it easy during our time there in comparison." Steven's girlfriend said as the two held hands the entire time.
"I could always take you back, show you some fun tricks."
"Absolutely not." His nephew waved off. "Last time I became an old man and a baby in the same day, I'm not going through puberty again. "
"Aw, but you were so adorable as a baby." Star rubbed her brother's head.
"You know, now that you unlocked my powers, your age depends on your mind too you know, right?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Pfft, Like that's hard to handle. I'm a fifteen year old girl, and I know what I love, no matter what age I am. Laser puppies and Ice cream forever!"
Now laser puppies were involved. "So … Greg … what've you been doing for a living these days?"
"Oh, well, after Rose passed, I dedicated most of my time to the music, and managed to make decent dough doing it, even if what a produced was more depressing then I wanted to be."
"You're telling me. I listened to one of your songs on the radio one day, and I could've sworn that wasn't you." He almost crashed the car due to the wave of depression that suddenly hit him that day.
"Yeah, not exactly my proudest moment." Greg chuckled. "I ditched my jerk of a manager though the moment I realized Steven was alive. I've saved up quite a bit of dough since then, so I'm covered money wise for years to come."
"Whatever happened to him?" The short man asked. "Did he finally wise up after we beat his socks off?" He ment knock his socks off?
"Last I checked, he went back to his old job of being an advertisement promoter, but he did double the child support he sends his ex, so gotta take the good with the bad." Greg chuckled.
"That's how I'm able to get out of the bed every morning nowadays." The witchy lady laughed. "Sure I'm in another time and everyone I cared about back then is effectively dead, but I get to experience having two amazing grandchildren now." Andy didn't think she looked that old.
"That's how I felt, being trapped in a mirror for five thousand years." The completely blue skinned lady shrugged. "I felt my mind drift into the dull void of unconsciousness, but Steven's voice managed to keep me sane and stable."
"Same, except it was Marco who kept me sane as I was trapped on the planet I originally wanted to see explode." The short green woman shrugged.
"You know, if we get a third gem, we could have a Crystal Gems B team." Steven's girl pointed out.
"I mean, Bismuth could probably be a good fit, but we'd have to see if she's on board with not being Mina levels of crazy." Star pointed out.
"Meh, give it a hundred years or so. She'd probably cool off by then." The Afro lady responded. "If not, then we can always knock sense into her the old fashion way."
"Ah, just like my own family." The short man laughed. "We argue, we wrestle each other into the ground, and then eventually come together to cherish what's really important."
"Love?" Steven asked.
"I was going to say food, but that is a close second." Eveyone at the table shared a laugh at that. "Thank you, Star, Steven, for planning this delightful dinner."
"Well Peridot was the one who grew all the vegetables." Star gestured to the green one.
"Yes, absolutely perfected handing out ingredients … even if Pumpkin is now scarred for life." They turned to the sentient pumpkin that stared at the sliced up pumpkin on the table. "I suppose thanks should be provided to Kelly for chopping the head of the oversized aviary creature."
"Pfft, easy peasy." Steven's girl waved a hand. "We also gotta thank Pearl for setting up the decorations..even if she went overboard." Kelly gestured to the "it's a boy' balloons tied to each chair.
"I wanted to cover as many traditional human celebrations as possible."
The Marco kid picked up a card. "We're sorry for your loss?"
"One day older, one more day closer to death." Everyone looked at the blue dressed woman. "What? I can't have a dark sense of humor too?"
Star laughed hard at that. "Well if there's one thing I'm thankful for, it's getting to see this side of you mom." She then turned to him. "And you too, uncle Andy, for coming here in the first place. You have no idea how great of a change of pace this is for us."
"Yeah, let's give a toast to Andy!" Steven raised his glass. "For allowing us to be here together at all."
"To Andy!" They all cheered for him, like he was apart of their family….
"I have to go now." He got up from his seat and made his way to his plane.
"Alright, see you…tomorrow?" Steven asked with confusion.
"Your friend can keep the barn….not like anyone else is around to use it." He responded back as he started his plane, and took off. This wasn't the Demayo family, this was a whole new family … one that didn't need him around to be happy.
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"… He's running off, isn't he?" Steven asked his Earth dad.
"It's kind of a thing we do if I'm any indication."
"Alright, time to run after-"
"Steven." Mom interrupted. "I'm fine with chases, but I draw the line at aerial and flying vehicles. You've had far too many crashes this year alone."
"Don't worry Mom, Steven can float now, so he won't fall to his death if he's in the air." Star responded as she flashed herself in a glow of light, going into Butterfly mode. "Plus I can always stretch my wings out more for practice."
"..Fine, I'll allow it, but only because this can count as training your powers." Their mom relented.
"Alright, let's get him before we lose them for good!" Steven shouted, jumping into his sister's arms.
"Let's roll, bro!" Star called out as they soon hit the aircraft flying right above the clouds. "Man, first flight in Butterfly mode without being unconscious or fighting. So surreal."
"Yeah, flying through the sky …" Steven smiled at the view. "It's amazing."
"Absolutely." Star nodded. "Alright, he's a bit far away, gonna put some elbow grease in the wings and-AGGGHHH!" The two of them flew past Andy and into the horizon. "New form really packs a punch!"
"Okay, just gently fly slower and let him catch up to us." He instructed. "I got to get a handle on my floating more one of these days." He waited until he heard Andy's plane flying right next to them. "Hey Uncle Andy! You left before dessert!"
"What the … what the bell are you kids doing so high up!?"
"Wondering why your leaving without saying goodbye!" Star shouted. "What's wrong!? Everything was going great!"
"Kids should not be flying! It takes years of practice!" The man shouted.
Star scoffed. "I have wings, I can fly just-" His sister was interrupted by a bird flying into her face. "Agh!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Star was starting to shake and tumble, which means he only had one shot at this. Using all the strength he had, he swung himself onto the wing of the plane.
"Kid, get off and go home! Your throwing off my balance!"
"Don't worry, this is the fifth or so vehicle crash I've been in this year! I can get us out no problem!"
"You shouldn't be on more than one!!"
"I'll get off once you tell me what's wrong!" Steven clung to the edge of the wing. "What's happening!? Why do you want to leave so badly!?"
"Me leave!? I'm the only one that didn't go anywhere!" Andy yelled. "When your dad ran off without so much as a note, everyone else in the family started drifting apart!"
"He had to leave!" Steven shouted. "They just kept suffocating him, he wanted to have a happy family, even if they weren't related by blood … it means a lot when you can call someone family Andy!"
"Your a sweet kid, but you don't need me!" Andy yelled as the plane started to go downward. "You have your family, a big one! I can't be apart of that…"
"Yes you can!" Steven yelled back. "Just talking to each other, even if it's like this, makes great memories! Do you know how excited I was to learn I had more human family!? I was ecstatic!" His fingers started to slip. "And the fact you haven't kept any secrets for me makes you one of the best people I've met in the past years and a half!"
"That really means a lot kid! I'd be happier if we weren't FALLING TO OUR DEATHS!" Oh right, that was a problem.
"Don't worry, I gotcha!" Star jetted herself right towards him and scooped her back into her arms, allowing Andy to fly straight again. "So are we good now, or should I put you back on for some more emotional breakdown?"
"Star, please don't threaten my-our uncle." He deadpanned.
"You kids are crazy! How haven't you given any of your parents' heart attacks yet!?"
"I mean … we technically give them heart attacks all the time." He admitted with a bit of shame. "They started seeing a doctor about it."
"Don't be like that Steven. Mom and Dad have done crazy stuff when they were our age too." Star said, and that was a valid point.
"If I promise to visit more often, can you promise to stay in one piece so we can actually see each other?" Andy sighed.
"We can try." Steven laughed. This was still somehow the least stressful way for him to add another member to his family.