Summary:
Let the sham trial ... begin!
Star watched as the group assembled. "Alright, so we can't bring you guys, but we can have your help setting up the case." Star told the gang.
"I have a couple law shows under my belt." Marco shrugged, turning to her mom. "So how does the trial work? Lawyers, attorney, jury?"
"We list her crimes in front of the Commission, and all members put a vote on her fate, where either majority rules, or middle ground is met." She explained.
"That…sounds incredibly biased and one sided." Kelly raised an eyebrow.
"Oh it is." Eclipsa agreed. "But you can't argue with technical gods that govern the laws of the multiverse. I'm sorry you made such assholes Glossaryck."
"Globgor!" The little guy shouted, before purring at the head scratch.
"You know, I never thought there'd be a day I was more comfortable around Glossaryck than Rhombulus, but here I am." Steven rolled his eyes. "What is this universe coming to?"
"A sad view of reality." She patted her brother on the back. "So we need to prove she's innocent against them." She turned to her mom. "What are the crimes?"
"The main ones are eloping with a monster, writing the forbidden chapter, creating the forest of certain death, and not regretting her actions." The woman explained.
"None of those crimes hold water if you just think about them for five seconds." Steven groaned.
"To the commission they may as well be ironclad evil." Garnet grumbled. "So what is your plan here?"
"Well we can't actually convince them Eclipsa is innocent." She admitted, before raising her hands for nobody to interrupt. "Which means the only solution we have is to end it with a mistrial, and prove that they're just as guilty, if not more so, than Eclipsa."
"And how are we gonna do that?" Lapis asked. "They're not the most talkative people about the past."
"Trial by box."
Garnet and Pearl gasped. "Are you insane!?" The pale gem shouted. "That's a bit overkill for a confession!"
"Ah, what's trial by box, for those not of this dimension." Marco raised his hands.
"It's the only surefire way to distinguish truth and deceit apart with an unbiased party." Mom answered. "The commission will be forced to tell the truth or risk paying the ultimate price."
"How though, why would they get asked a question?" Amethyst asked.
"A little loophole." Eclipsa smirked. "I was a former queen, thus a member of the Commission. I have one question. Now all we have to do is to make them agree to it."
"Which won't be too hard, we just need to bore them to the point they'll do anything to get it over with."
Star blinked. "Wait … how boring are we talking here?"
"I had Marco, Peridot, and Pearl cook it up." Mom said as everyone in her friend group, save Marco (who shrugged), gasped.
"Oh you're devious…why haven't I seen this side of you sooner?" Star smirked.
"Because you tended to go too far in the opposite direction …" She frowned. "Like Steven's fifth birthday."
"How do you know-"
"The walls became cookie cats." …Eh, fair enough. Either way, the commission was going to be eating all the bs they've been spouting very soon.
========================================================================
Sean painted and sweated, watching as the prisoner was brought in. Eclipsa Butterfly, the queen of darkness. "Sorry I'm late!" He rushed into the room, dragging the typewriter along with him as he set it up. "It's been forever since we've had a trial. Usually Rhombulus just freezes people and that's that."
"The good old days." The man in question sighed. "When I didn't have to question who was evil, and villains just publicly said they were gonna terrorize universes."
"Trust me rock head, I long for the days where the only evil thing I had to worry about was a little green maniac trying to steal my wand." Star Butterfly groaned as her brother sat in seats right behind their mother, Queen Moon.
"Yeah, the good times when everything was simple." Steven Butterfly noted, turning to him. "Hey Sean." The kid waved. "How've you been?"
"Hey Steven, hey Star." They were nice kids. "My week hasn't been the best. The Mrs is mad because I forgot my daughter's birthday. I still don't know how I could miss such an important event." It was like there was a whole day's worth of a gap in his brain for some reason.
"Uh Moon, why the heck did you bring the kids here?" Heckapoo asked with a tone of disbelief. "This is supposed to be a serious matter, as in, not meant for a couple of dumb kids."
"We're the ones that wanted to hold the trial." Star stated with seriousness. "So we're going to be acting as her … what did Marco call it, prosecutor?"
"Attorney, prosecutor would mean we'd WANT her crystalized, which we don't." Steven corrected.
"Either way, we speak for her defense." Star waved off. "I'm the future queen of Mewni, I need to see this through."
"Fine, fine." Omnitraxus waved off. "But if one hole between space time tears even a single moment during this trial, I'm sending everyone here to a rift in space time."
"Ugh, you accidently create a window into parallel universes four times and they never let you forget it." Steven groaned.
"There was also the incident where you two nearly got everyone killed with a math problem-" He deadpanned.
"That WASN'T my fault at all!"
"-But we're getting off track. Moon, if you'd start us off."
"Of course." The Queen announced as she pounded on a gavel. "We're all gathered here today…" Sean began typewriting, though it sounded like the noise it made bothered the Queen. "..for the trial of Eclipsa Butterfly, to settle once and for all if she's truly the villain our history proclaims her to be. If found guilty, she'll be sentenced to…"
"DEATH!" Rhombulus blurted out of nowhere.
"Really?" Steven faced palms. "You're immediately going for the second harshest punishment you could give her?"
"It's not like Crystallization works with everyone getting in the way somehow. That's why we're having this trial to begin with." The rock headed man grumbled back.
"We'll discuss punishments afterwards, for if and or when she's proven guilty." The Queen groaned before continuing as if she wasn't interrupted. "Now it's going to be a long day, so we must get through all the evidence." Moon reached down, and pulled out a five foot stack of paperwork on top of everyone's desk. "Every single rumor, second hand account, folk tale, and written record that could be gathered within."
"Hmm … Bigger than I remember …" Hekapoo smiled. "Definitely going to prove her guilty."
"Like I said, most of these are second hand accounts, since no one here seems to be able to give clear and straight answers, so we'll have to sort through everything document until we have absolute clarity about each account."
Omnitraxus hummed. "Alright, let's get this over with. I'd rather not skip lunch AND dinner."
Queen Moon cleared her throat. "Item one, at the age of three years, two months, one week, five days, and four hours old, at approximately three seventy five pm, Eclipsa Butterfly was spotted five inches away from a restricted building zone when she was designated as 'too young' at the time in question, breaking article seventy five of Mewman construction protocol." That seemed more like a parental guidance issue rather than an act of evil.
"That's what you're starting with?" Rhobulous groaned with exhaustion.
"It's numerical, the first ten chapters follow through till the age of eight." The Queen explained. "Item two, when she was aged three years, three months, three weeks, three days, and three hours old, at three o'clock am, she stuck her hand in the cookie jar when she was explicitly told not to."
"Oh, is it really a crime to have a sweet tooth?" Said Queen of Darkness giggled as if her entire life wasn't being recorded or judged. "Then I'm afraid most of Mewni is guilty of that."
"Technically the acting Queen at the time gave explicit orders, so at that moment you were, by law, guilty of crime." Moon explained. "Item three, at age three years, three months, three weeks, four days and five hours old at six o'clock, she played on the swing set when another child invoked the universal right known as 'dibs'."
Sean continued to write, even as the other members of the Commission began fidgeting, or looking close to losing their minds. It was his job after all, something he took great pride in.
========================================================================
"Item one thousand five hundred and seventy three, at the age of seven years, six months, one week, six days, and seven hours old at one thirteen am, Eclispa Butterfly was found awake in her bed, despite curfew dictating otherwise." Moon continued on with the ruse of making the trial as boring as possible. It was honestly fun watching the irritation on the Commission's faces grow with every minute. She might actually have more in common with Star than she thought.
"Like we all haven't had a little night time fun before. Uncle Jushtin certainly did during his last night on the throne." Eclipsa giggled with remembrance.
"Jushtin Butterfly didn't have a curfew." The close to snapping Hekapoo. "Skywyne was super guilty about a lot of stuff and basically let her children do whatever they wanted."
"Oooh, the High and Mighty Commission have a problem with arguably Mewni's most popular and successful Queen?" Eclipsa continued to tease. "Tell me more gossip, I have about three hundred years worth to catch up on."
"Don't even get me started about how, just because some guy broke her heart, she blew up an entire dimension." Apparently Rhombulus actually fell for the gossip. "Seriously, breakups aren't that bad. You have fun, girl dumps you, and you internally realize you can never have a stable relationship because you're an immortal that can never die with snake hands that ruin the mood all the time."
"...I just realized where some of my own romance problems just stemmed from." Steven's eyes widened and looked to Star desperately. "Please help me not end up like that."
"Well there's always my path." Hekapoo shrugged. "Just always keep it casual, even when you do it. Rose did the same thing, it was like, the one thing we actually agreed on when she wasn't being a bitch."
"I'm already uncomfortable with Rose as a person as it is, you don't need to feed that fire." Her son rolled her eyes.
"Honestly I don't see the big deal. Never actually fell in love myself …" He turned to her. "You can keep reading, this will probably go on for a while."
"NO! NO MORE READING!" Rhombulus shouted, throwing the files off his desk. "We've been here for twelve hours, and we haven't even gotten to the rotten stuff!"
"Well it's not like we can just speed it up." Moon argued.
"Actually." Eclipsa gave a calm face, a serious look. "If we're looking to speed it up … I invoke trial by box." The room became still for a moment, as even Sean stopped that annoying typing of his.
"Oh really?" Heckapoo smirked at the idea. "Wish we started off with that, we could've been done in three minutes."
"Are you sure of this?" Moon asked with fake concern. "This is a dangerous arrangement."
"I've spent so much time with this already … I may as well face it now." Eclispa stared at them.
"Very well then … if everyone is in agreement?" The group nodded. Excellent. "Sean, bring in the box."
"Yes mam!" He ran out, the room silent and tense as they waited, before a cart was brought in. They all stared, as the veil was grabbed. "Behold, the Box of Truth!" He revealed the blue cube of might.
"AH! TRUTH OR PUNISHMENT!!" Steven jumped out of his seat, huddling on the ground.
"Stand back! I'm blowing it up here and now!" Her daughter aimed her wand, as the object glowed a bit.
"Star, calm yourself!" She knocked the wand out of Star's hands. "This is the Box of Truth, it's how trial by box works." Moon was certain that she was very clear on the matter during the planning.
"No, that's Truth or Punishment!" Star shouted. "We played it at our slumber party and it ruined a lot of stuff we had going on."
"You played it?" Moon questioned. "It's a serious mystical mechanical device that's meant for only the most serious of occasions."
The cube began to glow. "Who do you have a crush on?"
"Kelly!!" Her son shouted in panic.
"Tom!!" Star went on after.
"QUEEN MOON!" … Everyone turned to a blushing Rhombulus.
"Dude, are you trying to ruin the friendship we have?" Steven accused.
"Hey, I don't act on it!" The man shouted.
Moon sighted. "It must be set on party mode." She walked over. "Why did we even add that?" She began flipping the dial.
Intervention. "We need to talk." Bachelor. "Who's ready to find love?" News reporter. "Can you describe the scene?" Trial. "Shall we proceed?"
"Hey, when this is all said and done can we borrow that intervention setting?" Star asked. "Asking for a friend."
"I'll think about it later when I figure out why apparently copies of the box can be used for slumber parties." It honestly felt like the universe was actively trying to hurt her children at most points. "So everyone knows the rules?"
"Yep." Hekapoo cracked her fingers. "Every Commission member asks one question, and the accused has to answer."
"That is how it's done the last I recall." Eclipsa smirked, and sent her and the kids a knowing wink. Now comes the tricky part.
Everyone in the room gave the pinkie oath, even Sean, as the true trial began.
"Alright, I shall go first." Omnitrackis volunteered as the box shined a light on Eclipsa. "Eclipsa, did you create the forbidden chapter of the book of spells, which is known to contain spells for Dark and evil magic." The box showed off a hologram of the chained up chapter.
"If we're being fully honest here, I'm not the one who called it the forbidden chapter, that's all on you." Eclipsa answered. "But yes, my chapter is mostly dedicated to the use of dark magic, which is only called evil by those that don't understand." She smirked. "I know plenty of more dangerous spells that I never recorded in the book, one of which was proven very helpful to your own Queen Moon, might I add."
"Truth." The box spoke up, confirming for everyone not s single sentence of that was a lie.
She could idly see Hekapoo draw a check for 'evil', before taking a stand. "Box, pull up the archives." It showed an image of Eclipsa and Shastican, as the woman in question scowled. "Is it true you abandoned your kingdom and your husband for a monster?" It showed the girl running to a very giant and menacing creature. "Aka, Globgor, the Prince of Darkness and a known Mewman eater?
"Wait, Globgor!?" Star shrieked. "That's not just a random word Glosseryck's been spouting because he had pudding for brains now?"
"No, it's a very dangerous monster." Rhombulus clarified. "Now answer the question!"
The former queen gave a small smile at the screen. "I did. My former husband was a cold and abusive man, and can you see the adorable little smile on this guy?" She pointed to the figure. "Ah … I remember when I finally got him off his Mewman diet and convinced him to go vegetarian."
"Truth."
Hekapoo checked off 'evil' once more. Honestly, that one had a little more merit than the previous arguments, and for a split second, Moon wondered if she was doing the right thing here … but no mother deserved to be separated from her child.
"You didn't have to add the last part." Star groaned under her breath.
"Next question to Rhombulus." They all turned to the man with a gem for a head.
"Did you eat those babies!?"
"Oh my fucking corn, that was Babibsa! Get it through your thick rock head!!" Hekapoo shouted, the other two snickering.
"Oh, I want a redo!" Rhombulus tried to correct.
"No redos. Everyone gets one." The box showed off a hologram of a crudely drawn Eclipsa doing the act the 'time out guy' accused her of.
"Sad to disappoint, but I never harmed a baby." The queen shrugged. "At worst I only hurt teenagers, but only psychologically, when they were asking for it."
"Truth."
Heckapoo marked that down as evil. "She admitted to not doing it!" Steven shouted.
"Aren't you the one who keeps saying psychology is evil?" Rhombulus asked her son.
"...Damn you Marco!" Star shouted to the heavens. "Why aren't you a better psychologist!?" She would wisely choose to not touch that issue with a ten foot pole.
"Now it's my turn …" Moon looked down at the woman. "Did you regret any of your actions?" She asked, with utmost sincerity.
"No." Eclipsa spoke honestly.
"Too bad … that was a lie!" The box began to spark, everyone tensing for the 'punishment' it would cook up.
"But I did … oh wait, there was one thing." Moon paused from bracing herself. "I never told Rose I forgave her." Eclipsa said as a brief tear rushed down her eye. "I don't hate her for my mother's death…she had to do what she felt was right." Moon…Moon could honestly feel the same way.
"Truth." The box turned green, everyone letting out an internal sigh of relief.
Hekapoo wrote a giant 'evil' on her paper. "I think we've heard enough." The woman turned to them. "Let's give the verdict and get it over with."
"Not so fast." Eclipsa interrupted. "I still haven't asked my question."
========================================================================
"Your question?" The three hundred and something year old woman stared at the walking-talking void of space. "You don't get a question, you're the accused."
"Not really." Steven smiled. "We're her attorneys, meaning we found a loophole." He gave a cheeky grin at her.
"Since she was a former queen, she's still technically a member of the commission." Star continued. "She gets one question just like all of you."
"… I hate you two like I've never hated anything else in all my existence." As a Grandmother/Aunt, she never felt prouder of those kids at any point more than now.
"They do have a point, and we're all sworn to uphold the rules of the box." Moon countered, curbing the clear hatred she had for Omni.
"Thank you." She smiled … before giving them all the coldest look she's ever given another sentient form of life. "What did you do with my daughter?"
All three commission members looked stunned, shocked, and horrified at the question at hand, before turning it to faces of outrage and offense. "We never did anything."
"I don't know what she's talking about. Festiva ended up fine." Heckapoo crossed her arms.
"Quite frankly, I'm offended that you'd even assume that we'd ever think about doing anything to the Butterfly family." Rhombulous indignantly spoke like the idiot he was.
"I treated that woman right." Omni sounded offended, as if he had any right to do so. "All the bedtime stories, the birthday parties … the overprotective phase of keeping boys away from her …"
"Lies, lies LIES! ALL FILTHY STINKING LIES!" The Box, as expected, rose into the air and glowed red, before entrapping all of them within.
"Alright, now would be a good time to tell the truth!" Steven shouted, looking at the walls with a face that showed ptsd of sorts.
"We did tell the truth!" Hekapoo tried to make a portal, only for it to fail instantly.
"Yeah, this thing's probably busted or something!" Rhombulus made his crystal and attempted to grow some through the roof, only for them to be crushed almost immediately.
"Or you guys are trying to hide something and don't want to admit it!" Star accused. "Spit it out already so we can go home!"
"We're not the one's on trial! We shouldn't have to deal with this!" Omni shouted as the wall started to shrink.
"Someone should really answer the question." Eclipsa stated. "Before, you know, we all get crushed to death?"
They ignored her, futilely trying to keep the walls from closing in. "Any time now, someone?" Moon asked, a hint of worry in her voice.
"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" Heckapoo kept denying like a petulant child, the wall starting to shake and spark violently.
"Lies! SO MANY LIES!"
"Wow, look at this, it's not so fun when the shoe's on the other foot, is it!?" Steven berated, not blinking as the walls forced all of them together as they were about to be squeezed tighter than a toothpaste bottle. "You've been hard on my family for all the lies and secrets, yet it's perfectly fine when you do it?! How does that make you any better than the villain you accuse Eclipsa of being!?"
The walls got closer, and closer … "We tossed her to a machine!" Rhombulus shouted in panic.
"TRUTH!" The box immediately retracted and set them all free.
"Damn it Rhombulus!" Hekapoo shouted. "First the Nipple Demon, then the Babipsa question, now this!?"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it in! It was eating me up!" Rhombulus defended. "We've been keeping the secret for so long and everyone was angry!"
"What do you mean she was tossed to a machine?" Star picked the question back up
Omni sighed, turning to Eclipsa. "When your daughter was found, King Shastican wanted nothing to do with her. Globgor … Well, he didn't stay a vegetarian." The box showed an image of her honey violently devouring the bastard. "Shastican gave Meteora to the original Saint Olga drone, and we found a random Pie Folk baby that was abandoned, and passed her off as your daughter.
"Ignoring how much of a jerk her husband was." Star grumbled. "You didn't even keep it in the family!?"
"We thought it would be easier to start fresh rather than risk another Butterfly being a monster lover." Hekapoo admitted sheepishly.
"We'll look where that got you." Star waved her hand. "I tried to set up a peace meeting between monsters and Mewmans that was interrupted by Mina Loveberry being an asshole and trying to kill them and us!!"
"Hey, we barely have control over that woman as it is! Blame Solaria for her spell's insanity inducing effects!"
"You're still not accepting responsibility!" Steven shouted. "You've caused so many people so much pain and death because of what you've done, and you're still trying to hide your share of the blame!"
"Hey, we're doing the best we can here!" Rhombulus shouted. "It's not our fault the queen sided with the enemy!"
"Not to interrupt this honestly very engaging conversation, but we still have one more question to get through, so are we going to be here all day or get this done?"
Everyone blinked. "What are you going on about? Every member of the Commission asked their question." Eclipsa looked at the box in confusion.
"There's still one member left." The box turned to … Steven. "The rest of Rose Quartz."
========================================================================
Steven blinked once … then twice … then three times. After processing what was asked of him, he let out a frustrated scream. "Rose was my mom! I'm Steven Quartz Universe Butterfly!"
"Look, I don't care if she's dead or not, her body is inside of you, and you're the only one that can speak. Rules are rules." It responded.
"Steven, we've already got what we needed, so just ask anything and we can get out of here." Eclipsa said out loud.
"What do you mean every … did you plan this!?" Hekapoo looked at Moon accusingly.
"I did…we all did." Mom and Star stood right beside Eclipsa and him. "We knew something was up when we realized that our family history was tampered with."
"Did you break into the archives? What is wrong with you?" Omni shouted.
"You're the one messing with our family like it's a plaything!" Star argued.
Steven heard the arguing, before having an epiphany. "I … get to ask anything." He muttered. "And I get an answer that no one can argue with …" No secrets, no diversions, just … plain truth. "Ms Heinous has been kept alive in Saint Olga's, a facility approved by all of you, for three hundred years by stealing life force."
The box began to display the location as he spoke, showing the woman in question. "So my question is…did you know she's been killing Princess's this entire time and chose to do nothing?"
"What, of course not!" Heckapoo screamed out. "We would've froze the psycho the moment she.."
"Yes." Omnitrackis admitted without any hesitation.
"… Dude what the fuck!?" Rhombulus shouted with outrage. "I lock up people for that very reason!" Oh thank corn his gem buddy was innocent on this one.
"She was too good at her job! I decided to make a judgment call!"
"We have limits, you asshole!" Hekapoo shouted. "We could have gotten plenty of instructors to take her place of making decent princesses!"
"Well, thanks to you, Meteora is now on the loose, stealing the souls of every single person she's come across!" Star shouted in accusation.
"She's what!?" The Commission shouted.
"She's been trying to kill our friend Marco because he stopped all those girls from being tortured by her." Steven clarified. "She crashed the Monster Ball and remembered who she was! And now she's out for blood, not because she's half monster, but because YOU ALL…"
"The last question has been answered!" The box spoke up, cutting them off. "Eclipsa is found guilty of most charges, and the council has been found tampering with history and allowing a crazy woman to be free to steal souls." It raised up. "The trial is concluded as mistrial …" It looked back down. "But if we're all being honest, you all have a lot of issues to work out."
"I can't even tell if it's being sarcastic or not." Star muttered.
"No, I'm sincere, I have to be honest about anything. If I even think about telling a lie I.." The box sparked for a second. "Well you get the picture. Toodles." The box flew off, probably to torture some other poor soul with the truth.
"As my son was saying." Moon spoke back up. "We now have a soul stealing maniac on the loose, not because she's a monster, but because of how YOU treated her, because of YOUR actions!"
"Well we won't for long." Rhombulus looked at his hands. "Alright guys, get ready, we're going hunting for a soul taker to crystallize!"
"But what about Ecl.."
"Shut it Omni!" Hekapoo snapped. "You've lost all right to speak." She turned to them. "I still don't like or trust Eclipsa.."
"Feeling is mutual." His sort of Grandma replied happily.
"But we've clearly crossed a line." Rhombulus admitted. "So you're free … on probation."
"Yes..yes…yes! We won! WE WON!" Star danced happily as she freed Eclipsa from her cuffs. "Truth and Justice prevails today, universe!"
"Now if you don't mind." Hekapoo pulled out some scissors. "We have a hybrid to hunt down." The trio of questionable jerks portaled away, leaving just the Butterfly family alone.
"You're free as a bird." Steven smiled. "What's the first thing you wanna do?" He tried to shove how bad the situation was for now, just wanting one positive today.
"Hmmm…I'd like to go into town and by myself some Snookers, as well as some ice cream for the best grandchildren I could have ever asked for." She wrapped all of them in a big hug. "You've raised such amazing children, Moon. I would have wanted Meteora to be exactly like them."
"Yes … I can't imagine a day without them." Mom wrapped them up in a hug as well. For once … they won.