Summary:
Some stumpy fun!
Garnet knew very little about celebrations. The concept of a 'birth day' still befuddles her to this day. However, the strangest of any and all traditions? Stump Day.
An entire day to worship a stump that somehow hasn't rotted into dust. That alone was baffling, but what continued to confused the ever loving stars out of her was the Mewmans seeming absolute love for the holiday. "This is so surreal." Marco commented as he watched all of Star's and Steven's family gather together. "Last time I saw all these people, they were chomping at the bit to kill each other, now everyone's sharing hot cocoa like they're best buds."
"That's the power of stump day." She saw Steven stand there with a bright smile. "The ability to bring everyone together with peace, to the point even monsters are left alone, and Vice versa." He sipped some of his cocoa. "Best holiday ever."
"All hail the stump! We're nothing but peasants in all its mighty glory." The most enthusiastic of the mewmans was by far Star, who couldn't even find herself to stand still. " All hail the stump, for it is great and kind! Don't anger the stump! Or nothing will be fine!" Garnet really wanted to question why those lyrics were in there.
"It's sad that she can't celebrate her birthday today." Jana noted.
"It's fine, I always wait until the week after to party." Star waved her hand, genuinely not thinking much about it. "I was blessed to be born on this sacred day, and thus I must show my gratitude to the stump by not contaminating this day of worship with my materialistic desires."
"I believe that's the most sensible you've ever sounded in … anything ever." Pearl's eyes widened in slight impressiveness. "So, what exactly does this holiday celebrate? I never got a clear answer, and Rose just giggled whenever I asked."
"The abridged version is this: The settlers came during winter, they huddled around a stump that magically warmed them. Now we treat this as a day of blessing the stump for helping our ancestors, but mostly celebrating the peace it brought their arguing." River explained."Now we celebrate it by continuing to tolerate and appreciate our differences with those we care about for a full twenty four hours, or else."
"Or else..?"
"Keep giving me this Cocoa and I'll celebrate whatever you want." Amethyst took a big gulp. "You the man, Stump!"
"That's right, Amethyst, show your love for the stump." Steven patted the gem's back. "Because if you don't, the stump will hunt you down and crush you to bits and burn all your belongings." He actually said that with a smile.
"… Do you have a holiday this nice yet disturbingly violent?" Marco asked the woolet, who looked ragged with bags, but otherwise clean.
"We have shaving day." Kelly shrugged. "Every five years we all shave our hair off when it gets too thick, so we take a non aggression pact until it grows back by the next day." She stared off into the distance. "We … eat anyone who goes against this." The humans took a step back from that.
"Better than the rituals Homeworld used to have in its early days." Garnet sighed. "Back when the worship of the moon goddess took precedence over the worship of the Diamonds, there would be a bi-centenial celebration where the entire planet would be forced to watch the 'cleansing' of off colored gems, which boiled down to seeing about a hundred gems shattered in front of a live audience."
"Well don't worry, no violence and death today." Star smiled. "Today, it's literally be happy or die, and there's absolutely no reason to be unhappy today." She stared at Steven and Kelly, who were sharing a cup of coco together. "Absolutely no reason!" This holiday truly had Garnet … stumped. Very nice, Laughy Sapphy.
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"Alright, last ritual on the list." Star smiled as she double checked. "We've drank a gallon of hot coco…"
"Wore matching ugly sweaters with Aunt Etheria…" Steven held up a picture of said event.
"Trampled all our cousins in the annual great snowball war.."
"Sang praises to the stump until we lost our voices…"
"Baked a dozen pies with mom.."
"Got trapped in a cave with dad.." Steven laughed at that one. "Weird that one always manages to happen every year by accident."
"We don't argue with tradition." Star responded. "Now it's time for the most important one: falling asleep together in cozy sleepwear." She crossed out that one as she slipped into her pink bear onesie. "You good?"
"All good!" Steven replied, zipping into his giant caterpillar sleeping bag. "Snug as a bug in a rug."
"You are super cuddly like this." She gave him a hug as she helped the boy move along.
"Yeah … Kelly thought the same thing …"
"Hey, no negativity today." She reminded him. "You're talking, that's all that matters."
"Yeah, that is better." Steven let himself smile. "Hey, when Tom and you got back together, how did you know it felt right? What made you think it was a good call to do it again?"
"I didn't." Star shrugged. "I saw he actually wanted to change and thought 'hey, if he's taking a chance, why can't I'?" She ruffled his head. "Stuff like this can be either super quick or take years. Just focus on the good you have now."
"Yeah, the good." He smiled. "A nice warm bed with no loud noises." He opened the door.
"SURPRISE!" All of their friends and the Gems shouted
"What!?" She looked around. It was a surprise party…for her fifteenth birthday…on Stump Day. " Whoever threw this party is going to be tossed into the lava lake before I freeze them over." Star threatened with fiery righteousness.
Everyone took a large step from the guilty party. "I warned you man." Tom muttered.
"Come on, it's Star's fifthteeth birthday, a quinceanera! Those are super important on earth." Marco justified.
"Just take it all down for now, we can't upset the stump!" She ran forward to take down the decorations with haste. "Down with the decorations, to the fire the presents, throw out the cake!"
"Okay, now I know for sure you're crazy, because you don't just waste good cake like that!" Amethyst quickly devoured it before she could toss it out the window. "Ooh, rainbow flavor.
"No! Spit it back out! You can't eat non-stump day foods on stump day!" She shook the gem in place.
"Come on, B-fly, don't tell me you still believe in the stump day myth." Ponyhead rolled her eyes. "It's just a dumb tale that tricks kids into behaving for free all year round."
"Ponyhead, I trusted you!" She whined. "Steven, back me up!"
"It's true guys! Last year when I had doubts, I kept spilling all my hot coco! I didn't get to drink a drop!" Her brother told the tale of his blasphemy. "The stump watches all and knows your every move!"
"Oh please, of course Steven's going to side with you Star, he's too naive too believe anything you don't believe." Kelly rolled her eyes
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"Hey!" Marco watched as Mr Universe came to defend the boy. "My son can believe in whatever he chooses, religiously or traditionally."
"Come on Greg, you can't honestly expect him to keep believing in such a ridiculous wives tale." Pearl snided. "There's a point where we need to let go of fantasies."
"I mean I still believe in the easter bunny that one time it took me into a dark alley after I accidently ran over one of its agents." … SO MANY QUESTIONS!
"Come on guys, let's not get into a debate over this. They believe in the stump, so what?" Tom attempted to comfort Star. "I think it's kind of cute."
"Stay away, non believer!" Star backed off. "I don't need your pity."
"Star, literally you and Steven are the only ones that believe." Marco said.
"Oh, you don't get to talk your way out of this!" She shouted. "It's all your fault!"
What? "My fault! I was trying to do something positive, but all I've got from you is negativity!"
"Like I said dude. I tried to warn you." Tom rolled his eyes.
"Oh, like you even remembered it was Star's birthday today! I bet you forgot like all the other times Star told me about." Marco crossed his arms.
"Don't even start going there, Diaz." Tom's head lit on fire and pointed an accusing finger at him. "I've been cool with you hanging around, but don't think I'm not on to your little tricks!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Marco asked, confused.
"That you did this because your wrestling about your feelings for Star?" Jana observed. "It's pretty obvious, dude."
"Oh, don't you start." Kelly argued. "Apparently every boy you have feelings for doesn't return it. Do you just have a crush on rejection?"
"Hey, stop that!" Steven defended the girl. "She's not hurting anyone!"
"Why are you so quick to defend her!?" Kelly yelled out. "What, the moment we're not together you just run to her side!?"
"At least I'm not an emotional leech desperately clinging for attention." Jana poked the girl in the chest. "Because I'm an actual good friend who doesn't use her friends like a dishrag."
"At least I wasn't ditched the moment we all went to Mewni."
"You're all getting a bit too heated." Garnet spoke up. "Let's take a moment to calm down."
"Exactly,'there's way too much hate here! There's only one option!" Star blasted all the lights shut and opened up the windows. "Cold, cold, sweet, bitter cold! Come in, you old friend!"
"Star, it's freezing in here!" Marco called his friend out. "What the heck do you think you're doing!?"
"The founders of Mewni were all fighting each other until they had to gather around the stump in the cold and work things out!" Star explained.
"And this is supposed to make us less violent how!?" Steven shouted. "Even I think this is overkill Star!"
"Steven, all this fighting is making you forget that on stump day, it's either worship the stump or die!" Star exclaimed.
"Whoa, sibling brawl two point O!" Amethyst clammered.
"Don't encourage this! It's supposed to be the holidays!" Mr universe chided.
"Oh it's fine. They fight it out and get their emotions out. It's a sibling thing." The gem shrugged.
"That's not exactly a very healthy way to deal with problems." Mr Universe groaned.
"Oh you're the least involved with Steven's life, like you have a say in what goes on." Pearl rolled her eyes.
"The party is terrible! Barely anyone has paid attention to me!" Ponyhead randomly shouted.
"Maybe it's not always about you!" Marco shouted. "Have you ever thought about giving other people the spotlight instead of being clingy all the time!?"
"Hey, I'm the least clingy person in this group, and I'm not just talking about all your romantic hang ups and junk, what with cube head and bush hair being around!"
"So is yelling violently normal at parties?" Peridot asked him.
"Probably." Lapis answers for him with a smirk. "Better than anything homeworld can throw.
"Guys, I fixed the heat problem!" Jana said as she held a used match in her hands. "Now we can be warm and gather around the stump." She said as she pointed to the now burning chunk of wood.
"AAAGGGHHHHH!!!" Star shouted. "What is wrong with you, you sociopathic pyromaniac!?"
"What, we're supposed to be warm in the cold!" Jana defended. "And like you have a problem with pyromaniacs, miss flaming rainbow, who also just happens to date the literal fire breathing demon in the room."
"Hey, I haven't set anything on fire in months!"
"Your head's on fire right now!" Kelly yelled. This was a complete disaster. "Steven, you know I love your warm hands, but now's not the time for a back rub."
"Ah…I'm not touching anything." Steven said horrified as he pointed to the vine-like structure crawling on Kelly's shoulder. … Ah shoot.
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Greg watched with horror as the vines came in from the windows and chimney. "What the heck is going on!?" He shouted.
"We angered the Stump, now it's going to kill us all!!" Star shouted with terror.
"What in the blazes is going on in here!?" River and Moon charged into the room, both in their sleep wear, and watched in horror. "The Stump is real?!"
"Wait, you guys didn't believe in it either!?" Steven cried out.
"It was just a legend, we didn't think it would actually try to attack usssss!!" A vine grabbed onto the king, tossing him into the ceiling.
"Alright, that's it!" Amethyst made a whip. "Come at me you overgrown egotistical weed!" The vines actually paused at that, grabbing a bunch of metal and shoving it together, meshing it around until it became a fucking chainsaw!
"Surprisingly intelligent." Peridot noted. "Fear not, feeble mortals, the great and powerful Peridot shall overcome this wooden fiend with her superior control over metalix alloys!" Peridot waved her hands in the air, only for a couple of forks and knives to float right to her hands. "Seriously, couldn't you have just a little more metal around the house!?"
"It's a bedroom, what did you expect!?" Star shouted, as the stump grabbed her.
"STAR!" Steven shouted, skin glowing pink. "That's it! Sacred demonic tree or not, you're not going to hurt my sister!" He began to send punches right at the stump, who was able to counter every attack with its quick moving vines. "Garnet, is there any future where we beat this thing!?"
"Hang on, let me check…" Garnet said casually as she tried to duck under a vine. "Checking…checking..checking…oh for stars sake, this tree knows about five hundred ways to kill all of us!"
"Why is it so informed on the intricacies of murder!?" Pearl shouted as she stabbed it. "Why did Rose never deal with it!?"
"She always told me she and the stump had a special agreement, but I thought she was just playing along with the stories!" Moon cried out, the roots of the plants binding her arms together, preventing her from doing any fancy magic to break out.
"So we can talk to it?" Jana asked. "Hey stump, if we give you fertilizer, will you let us go?" They began strangling her. "Guess … not …"
"Okay, I've let this play out long enough." Lapis moved her arms around and summoned half a room of water…which the vines absorbed into itself pretty easily, making the thorns on it grow even larger. "Never mind, we're all screwed.
"Just, die, already, you piece, of driftwood!" Kelly punctuated everything with a swing of the sword.
"Ah! Star, I'm sorry for throwing this stupid party! I should've respected your wishes!" Marco apologized with a yelp as the vines finally grabbed the boy.
"And I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend! I really did forget about your birthday and didn't plan anything!" Tom cried, his fire unable to do anything two burn the branches.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you kids, I couldn't even hit a vine!" Greg shouted as he was squeezed by the thorny objects. "I'm just a washed up musician that doesn't know what to do with his life anymore!"
"Don't say that, Dad, it's just circumstances!" Steven cried as the vines grabbed him by the legs. "I'm sorry Kelly! I got in the way of your relationship with Yad and didn't give you any space!"
"No, I love how comforting and intimate you can be! I got addicted to the feeling of fusion and tried to hoard you all to myself!" Kelly shouted back as the sword was taken out of her grasp. "Because you make me feel like a better person just by being close to you!"
"I'm sorry we all had to argue just cause you guys wanted to throw me a party!" Star shouted.
"You're worth it, Star, you're worth so much more!" Moon cried out. "I'm sorry for always being hard on you! I have so many high expectations for you Star, and I love how much you've grown!
"I'm sorry I keep putting you down Greg!" Pearl called out. "It's just hard to move on!" He understood that well.
"It's something we all deal with, Pearl! I have so many conflicting feelings in my own head!" Jana called out. "Teasing my friends is how I cope with rejection, and I'm just happy to be included!"
"Same here, girl, same here!" Ponyhead agreed. "I'm sorry for being harsh on Earth turd, even if it's in the name of constructive criticism!"
"I love you all!" River cried. "You're all such amazing people!"
A few seconds it seemed like they would all die … until the vines went away, slinking out as they all had a chance to breathe. They … they survived!
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"We…made it…we're alive! WE SURVIVED!" Steven called out.
"It must have been our love, just like the founders!" Marco thought.
"No, it's because Stump day is over. We were definitely going to die regardless." Star clarified bluntly.
"Oh … it's a very Egotistical Stump." Jana noted.
"We should really carve it out when all is said and done." Garnet deadpanned.
"Hahahaha, yeah, after all we just went through, I think it's safe to say the Stump is invincible." Dad, the king one, said with a jovial laugh. "We're going to have to throw an even bigger party next year, with plenty of offerings, just in case it feels like holding a grudge."
"Sounds like a plan." Star sighed. "You know, it was pretty sweet of you guys to throw me a party, even if it was horribly timed."
"We're your friends. It's just common sense to throw a party." Marco smiled. "I have to say, as far as holiday's go, this is definitely a celebration I'm never going to forget. And in the end, isn't that what it's all about?"
"Sounds cheesy…but it sounds about right too." Kelly laughed, as she turned to him, leaves and branches in her hair as Steven wiped off a little dust from her face. "Being with the ones you love the most during the darkest and coldest night of the year sounds pretty magical to me."
"It's what Christmas is about back on earth." Pearl smiled. "Well that and the birth of a man who was stabbed multiple times for saying things."
"So happy and warm holidays with terrifying origins is a multiversal thing?" Steven laughed as he looked behind Star's bed, and grabbed one of his spare guitars. "Sounds about right. It definitely fits with who we are." He strummed his guitar and played a few keys. It felt like the right moment to play something. " I'm sure you feel it coming….There's something on the breeze.." He sang softly. " It might be slightly snowing or seventy degrees."
"Regardless of your hemisphere.." Star joined in as she and every one of their friends and family circled around them. " The holidays are here."
"And with them come the tidings of ….This special time of year." It didn't matter who they were or where they came from, they could all celebrate together.
"A bucket of fried chicken." His earth dad sang.
"A costume for your dad." Mom added in with a smile
"A demon who will stuff you … in a sack if you've been bad." Jana joined in with a snort as she looked at a confused Tom.
"A reindeer gets promoted." Marco smiled, resting by the window with Peridot.
"An old man confronts his fear….of karma and mortality." Everyone not from Earth stared at Pearl in bafflement, before shrugging.
"The special time of year." Garnet shook her head with a smile, joining them.
"Whatever makes you happy." Steven sang.
"Whatever gets you through." Amethyst pulled Lapis and Moon into a huddle
"Whatever lets you know that I am feeling this with you." Tom rested a hand on Star's shoulder, looking into her eyes with a glistening glow.
"If you believe it's special…" Kelly looked at him with those warm and beautiful eyes. " Then that's what makes it special…" Her hands rested on his own as they couldn't help but notice nothing but each other.
"It's a special, it's a special…." Steven leaned in closer, getting lost in those luscious green locks of hers. " It's our special…. time….of year…" He ended the last lyric as he leaned into a kiss, one that Kelly was more than happy to return.
Maybe … it would all work out in the end.