Summary:
Lets fly to space!
Chapter Text
Garnet looked at the bubble. "So … all in favor of tossing them into the void and destroying their ship?"
"Everyone we toss in the void gets more dangerous." Star argued. "I'm half expecting Ludo to come back being the king of space slime and attempting to take over the world."
"Do we really need to fight them this time?" Steven asked as he usually did. "They were pretty easy to talk to last time they were here once we knew what they wanted."
"Which was Jasper …" Pearl stated. "And you all beat her up and poofed her … so the bubble should be in our base …"
"Ahahaha…Jasper's not exactly in a bubble per say." Amethyst laughed. "She might have, sort of…fusedwithacorruptedgemandinfectedherself."
"She did WHAT?!" Garnet couldn't help but be astonished and horrified at the implications of that. One of the top three main concerns being the consent of what was basically a wild animal.
"Yeah, funny story, one that doesn't end so funnily because Mina snatched her gem before we could bubble it." Marco continued.
"Any other bad news you'd like to pile on?" Pearl asked sarcastically. "Like all the corrupted they captured running rampant?"
"I mean, I wouldn't say we'd like to pile on the bad news, but you hit the nail on the head." Kelly groaned. "It's been a long day and they're pretty much trapped in a maze in the Beta Kindergarten. Excuse us for wanting to get a little rest."
"The rest of us can take the corrupted … after we deal with them." Garnet said. "Lapis, you can let them out, we have enough firepower to deal with the situation if it gets out of hand."
"You sure?" She asked, although the question was more geared towards Steven rather than her. "I mean, they're all shrimps I have no problem taking care of if they want a fight, but Rubies are pretty annoying…no offense." She turned to Garnet for that.
"None taken." Maybe a little.
"It's fine, I'd rather talk to them anyway." He signaled, the water bubble slowly vanishing as the rubies looked around … before glaring at Marco.
"YOU!" 'Doc' shouted. "How dare you give us the wrong location!"
"… Did you double check?" The human asked hesitantly.
"Double check, DOUBLE CHECK?!" 'Eyeball' shouted. "Of course we double checked! We searched across the andromeda galaxy three times! We even looked through the rest of the Milky Way twice! THERE'S NO JASPER!"
"Wow, searching two entire galaxies in under a few months." Star noted. "That's incredible, you guys must be awesome at your jobs."
"Oh really?" 'Leggy' said with a shy and cute blush. "Imma just…I don't know..why are we here again?" So adorable.
"To look for Jasper! We've searched every stinking pebble we could find for her, and nothing! And believe me, we searched everywhere, talked to so many strange and weird creatures!" Doc continued.
"You guys seem overworked." Steven tried to tell them. "Maybe you should take a break, just sit back and enjoy the sun. Jasper made you look for her and she hasn't even sent you any information on where she is? You should make her work for your effort."
"Shut your mouth organic! You know not what you speak!" Army pointed accusedly with a flaming fist. "Jasper is the most brilliant and gleaming gem to ever come out of this hovel of a planet! We'll dig straight through this planet's core if we have to in order to find her!"
"The worship of bad people continues." Kelly muttered. "Look, Jasper isn't on earth alright. No matter how hard you look you won't find her."
"Then we'll just burn things at random until you tell us where she is!" Doc announced, and all Rubies obeyed without a second thought, lighting themselves all up on fire.
"Alright, I'm drowning the little suckers." Lapis began surrounding the water around them.
"Wait!" Steven interrupted. "The truth is..the real truth…is that Jasper…"
"..Has just arrived!" Amethyst's voice cried out, except it was much deeper than it usually was. They turned to her and…oh stars, they were actually in this timeline. Garnet thought for sure it would've been the one where they keep them frozen in a basement underneath the barn.
"Jasper, it's great to see you again sir!" … They really are adorable. Please don't find them cute.
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"Glad to be back." The amazing gem laughed. "Now how about you all go back. There's a target I need to hunt down, and I can't have anyone take me back just yet."
"Oh, I understand completely, your greatness." Eyeball bowed her head just a little. Being next to such a legend was the greatest thing in the universe! Just right next to having an audience with the Diamonds themselves! "Take all the time you need, but let us assist you! We Rubies would be honored to hunt whatever bastard you need to crush into dust!"
"Um, no, I don't-"
"Hey wait a minute." Navy interrupted. "What happened to your color?" She pointed out. She had a point. She seemed much too purple for any Jasper to be.
"It's … a tan." For some reason all the organics face palmed. "You know, from the sun, always messing with your body."
Eyeball thought about it for a quick second. "Of course! I hate the sun! Stupid earth! Always messing with gems in horrible ways! I hate this planet!" She kicked a little patch of the ground.
"Yeah, kick the ground!" The amazing being standing right before them cheered on, and soon her entire squadron was in on the operation to slowly but surely rip apart the surface of the earth bit by bit.
"They are so adorable." The girl with a grabbing stick spoke with sparkling eyes.
"Why can't all our enemies be this cute when they're angry?" The curly pink one said with equally sparkly eyes.
"So, what is the enemy you're trying to catch?" Army asked. "We'll tear them to shreds!"
"Oh, uh…I'm on the hunt for someone with important mission information. They're known as…" The great one looked to the group of organics before snapping her fingers. "Space Unicorn! I've been trying to splatter their guts for the past few months."
"Oh yeah … wasn't the Peridot you were assigned with going demented about information for them?" Doc asked.
"Demented!? I'll let you know I am perfect…" All the Rubies turned to the green gem in question, who began sinking away into the walking bush. "I realized I've overstepped my boundaries, carry on." The red hooded one was groaning while the Lapis Lazuli was snickering.
"Yeah, I've tracked these clods down because they're close allies to that fiend, and I just learned that they've been spotted...spotted..." Jasper began looking frantically at the sights around them, before pointing upwards. "Up there! On the moon!"
"REALLY!?" All the organics slapped their foreheads for some reason. Must be some weird human ritual.
"I see. Don't worry sir, with our ride we can get you up there in no time." Doc nodded. "Remember Rubies, this is the great Jasper, best behavior!"
"Best Behavior formation!" The entire team gathered in a single file line, bowing at the great one before leading Jasper to the ship.
"Ah, wait! We need to take these…prisoners too!" Jasper gestured to the odd group of gems and organics. "Can't have them do anything funny like warn Space Unicorn before we arrive, right?"
"Oh..damn it." The blonde one snapped her fingers. "Guess we got no choice but to follow along. She saw right through our clever and well thought out plan."
"Wow, you defeated their spirits so much they don't even need to keep their limbs contained!" Navy shouted. "That's our Jasper!"
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So far so good. They managed to trick the Rubies, and were taking them to space to hopefully trick them further. "Are you good?" He whispered to Amethyst.
"I got a bit more practice when I was corrupted, I can hold this for an hour, two tops." The gem in disguise waved off, even when her body looked like it was shaking. "Those are shivers of confidence."
"Just let us know when we need to ditch the plan and go straight to poofing." Star whispered. "I'm pretty confident we can take these guys, even without Lapis, Peridot, and Ponyhead."
"Really thought Pony would've joined." Jana shrugged. "Oh well, I'm not going to waste a free trip to the moon." While he was confident Jana could take care of herself if things got rough … he wasn't completely sure about her capability of space combat.
They eventually arrived, the door opening as the Rubies landed the ship. "Alright, we're here sir!" Doc raised their hand in salute.
"Good job, uh…Rubies, you make this mighty gem proud." Amethyst carried on with the fake deep voice.
"A thanks from Jasper!" Eyeball instantly went fangirl and looked like she was about to fall over squealing. "I can officially be shattered happily now."
"Dang, these little guys have it baaad. " Kelly snorted. "Almost Pearl levels of thirsty."
"But I don't drink liquids-wait, no, I was not that bad." The gem caught on, glaring at his girlfriend.
"History and experience would say otherwise." Garnet snorted, making everyone in the group laugh lightly.
"Wow, a real life era one base." Doc looked around with the rest of the Rubies in awe and wonder. "They don't make them like this anymore. We're stepping on the very stone Pink Diamond used to walk on."
"Oh yeah, Pink Diamond was the one to try and colonize earth right?" Star asked, looking at the murals with a frown. "Wonder what planet she's going after now." All the Rubies stopped, turning to Star with a mix of disgust, rage, sadness, and confusion. "Um … what?"
"Ignorant organic, I ought to shatter you for.." Army began leaping out at her sister, before Amethyst got in the way.
"Don't mind the meat wad, she's just a dumb little human that doesn't know what she's talking about." Amethyst tried to pacify. "Her kind doesn't know about important gem stuff that happened."
"Ah, of course, my apologies, Jasper." Army reeled herself back, though she still looked like she wanted to shank Star.
"Uh, exactly what is the deal with Pink Diamond?" Marco asked. "We mostly know about Yellow and just a little bit about Blue."
Eyeball glared at him, but simply turned to Amethyst. "Would you like to tell them the story, she was your Diamond."
Steven and the other organics of the group looked just a little surprised at that tidbit of revelation. "Uh..how about you tell it? I'm like…super messed up about it."
"Of course. It's hard for anyone to remember such a terrible story." Eyeball sighed solemnly, before lighting up her eyeball and pointed to the mural. "Pink Diamond was one of the great Diamonds, who threw balls and created festivities to lighten the days of us lowly gems when things become rough."
"I went to them once." Legy smiled. "We always had so much fun … and her smile was so infectious …"
"And she was a great juggler!" Navy pointed out. "There was hardly a frown whenever she was around."
Garnet and Pearl looked like they were stiffening at the obsession, but otherwise let the rubies speak. "Earth, and by proxy of closeness, Mewni, were to be Pink Diamond's first colony. The bases were set up, and Quartz's were being made with absolute success from the Earth's rich resources." Doc carried on. "Had everything gone to plan, gem production would've taken Era two in an entirely different direction, especially with the discovery of 'Magic', found on Earth's second moon."
"Yeah … so we've heard." Kelly nodded quietly.
"But then … she showed up." Army clenched her fist. "Rose Quartz, the one who rebelled against us and started fighting her own kind, all for a couple of organics. And after we were so kind to bring her into existence, what a disgrace!!"
"Fighting her own kind…yeah…hard to imagine hating your own kind so much." Star shuddered, probably getting flashbacks from her fight with Bismuth.
"It went on for a while, resources diminishing as the other Diamonds started to consider stepping in and taking over colonization themselves … and then Rose Quartz committed the most unthinkable and treasonous act known to all." Doc stated. "She shattered Pink Diamond."
"What…no..no…no, that can't be! Pearl! Garnet!" Steven looked to Pearl, and then to Garnet…Pearl had her mouth covered as Garnet did her best to turn away. "That can't be right! She…she wasn't a killer…"
"I saw it with my very own eye." Eyeball explained as she pointed to said object. "Pink Diamond was shattered by that bastard gem, her shards clattering to the ground! And in their righteous grief the Diamonds whipped out all gem life off the face of that rock …" Eyeball looked at the gems that were not Rubies. "How ARE you living after all this time?"
"Oh…we…hid underground when that happened." Pearl said hesitantly.
"Right, you were cowards. Should've expected that from underhanded degenerates like you." Doc insulted, but Steven couldn't focus on getting madeat them, because his anger and confusion was solely focused on something else.
What was the point then in Mom poofing Bismuth if she ended up doing what she wanted anyways!? WHY WOULD SHE HIDE HER FRIEND AND NOT DO ANYTHING AFTERWARDS IF SHE AGREED!? WHY WOULD SHE PUT HER FRIENDS, HER FAMILY THROUGH SO MUCH GRIEF!?
"Steven, breathe!" Jana shook him out of his spiraling thoughts while shouting a whisper. "Calm down, we just need to keep it together for a little longer and we can ditch these guys for the rest of our lives."
"Okay … keep it together …" Keep it together, keep it together, just until they leave. Then you can shout and scream at Pearl and Garnet for not telling you your mom was a killer… well she already was one in a way …
Star looked at him with pity as Kelly warped her arms around his side, blanketing him in her warm and soft hair, but it did little to ease the horrible reality that was happening around him.
In the span of less than five minutes, Steven knew for a fact that his mo-that Rose Quartz was an awful person he wanted nothing to do with. She was more than just a liar…she was a coward…a murderer…and a hypocrite.
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"Welcome one and all, to our new series, Weirdness in the Creek." Starfan13 waved to their livestream. "Me and Rhonaldo finally came to an agreement, deciding to just talk to the weird instead of watching it."
"The time for guessing and theories is over. Now more than ever, we need to get to the truth by attacking it at the source!" Rhonaldo exclaimed. "We've seen a lot in Beach Creek in the past years. Giant red eyeballs…"
"Magic truth telling boxes…"
"Alien warships…"
"Princesses from another dimension…"
"And weirdest of all … a supposed sighting of a Laser Disk." Rhonaldo finished. "But most notably, one of the most fascinating and intriguing sights of weirdness our fair little town has experienced was the great food war of Corn and Melons, where sentient vegetables and fruit rose from the green of the earth and attacked relentlessly for a whole week."
"Yes, apparently caused by a mix of magic saliva and crystal shards. We actually have one of them now, who lives with a Beach Creek resident. Say hello, to mini mellon."
The spotlight followed a melon in the shape of Star Butterfly's brother as he waved to the audience, sitting down in the chair they set out between her and Rholdnaldo. "Waahh."
"Don't worry folks, we got us a translator." Starfan displayed a small device, reading the words 'hello'. "Now, first question, could you tell us a bit about yourself?"
"Waaaagh. Wah. Waaaah."
"I see, you are an outcast from your own society for your preference for human culture. Very interesting." Rholnaldo nodded intently. "So could you list for us some of these differences between cultures?" He asked.
"Waaaaagh! Waaaagh! Waaaaah!"
"A caste farming community you say? Does that have to do with your creator's original lifestyle being founded in corn farming?"
"Waaaghh! Waawaaggh."
"Oh, so it's a genuine choice based on what your species desires." Starfan13 nodded. "What happens when someone wants to go outside of the cast?"
"Wah. Wahwahwahehaaaawhwha."
"Sacrificial offerings to the baby melon? A little brutal, don't you think?" The little guy only shrugged. "Are there any plans to establish communication with the rest of the world?"
" Whahehehewha. Whaawhawha."
"Understandable. I imagine there's many who would look down upon the marriage of a corn and melon." Rhonaldo sighed. "When will the world learn to just let people be happy?"
"Thank you for answering our questions about your society. Anything else?" She asked.
"Wawahh."
"Now according to our translator, he needs to get back to his … cartel operation?" The two vloggers watched as the Melon walked out, fist pumping Onion as they entered a black van, driving off.
"That is the kid's family, right?" Starfan13 couldn't help but ask her partner. "He isn't getting in a van with total strangers, right?"
"Hang on, I'll double check with Sour Cream." Rhonaldo rushed to dial on his phone.
"Well, thank you folks for joining us, and stay tuned for next time as we investigate 'Rock that looks like a face'. The rock that looks like a face…or does it?"
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"I can't believe those space unicorns!" Kelly watched as Army went ballistic. "They destroyed the hub, all those centuries of information, vanished."
"Yeah, damn that horrible space unicorns, soaring through the stars." Jana was having fun prodding Marco while the Rubies just got more ballistic. "What horrible deed will they do next?"
"Is there ever going to be a point where we let this running joke die?" Marco asked as he sulked in embarrassment.
"Oh Marco … it'll end some day." Star patted his back.
"I guess all that's left is to take you back." Doc waved their hand. "Come on Jasper, Yellow Diamond wants to bring you back before the earth is destroyed."
"Oh, right, just…let me interrogate these prisoners one last time before we drop them off, leaving them to their fate to suffer and all that." Amethyst continued the ruse, even when it looked like she was sweating.
"Such sadism …" Navy stared with awe.
"Down girl, be professional." Army dragged them back to the ship.
"Amethyst, how much longer can you keep this up?" Pearl asked with concern.
"I..I…" Amethyst waited until all the rubies were on the ship before shrinking down. "Just give me a minute to rest before we get back to earth. Then we can form Alexandrite or something and smash the ship." She panted, looking worn out.
"Sounds like a plan." Kelly nodded before tuning to her downtrodden boyfriend. "Hey, you holding up alright?"
"Just hanging in there … just until we take care of them … maybe bubble them, cause it's humane." He muttered. "Was Pink really Toffee levels bad? I barely accepted Solaria as it was but …she actually went out of her way to kill Pink Diamond."
"Steven..I.." Pearl looked like she wanted to say something but her hand seemed to be glued to her mouth.
"Your mother did everything that she could to keep the planet safe." Garnet sighed as she took off her glasses. "She always tried to avoid casualty when she could, but war is different from the battles we fight nearly everyday now. She chose to carry that burden so that we could all be here now, so that she could have a future where you exist."
"Is everyone really better off with that though?" Steven asked as a stray tear fell from his eye. "Because every gem is corrupted because the Diamonds apparently didn't wipe them out because they went against them, no, they did it because she killed someone close to them, she-"
"Hey are you gonna be a whi-" Leggy came out, looking at them all in shock. "Where's Jasper … why do you look like her?" She asked Amethyst.
"Hey, I..!"
" Space Unicorn! Soaring through the stars!" The rest of the Rubies jumped out, looking around. "Delivering the rainbows all around the wor-" Star threw Marco's phone on the ground, stomping on it multiple times in a fit of anger, growling.
"Pick … a new … RINGTONE!!" Star exclaimed to her friend, before taking out the wand.
"We were tricked again!?!" Eyeball growled in frustration as the rubies began stomping on the ground profusely. "We won't be made fools of again! Rubies assemble!"
The squad of little munchkins stacked on top of each other and formed the mega Ruby, and flames began to engulf the entire area around them.
"Scatter!" Garnet ordered as everyone jumped out of the way of the flaming fists. She created her gauntlets, jumping up to deliver two consecutive punches straight to Mega Ruby's face.
"Like you need to tell me twice!" Kelly ducked under the fireballs that were shooting off from the clash. "Not exactly how I wanted my second time fighting in space to go down!"
"Yeah, kind of makes me wish we could go back to fighting giant marble robots." Star shouted as she aimed her wand at Mega Ruby. "Hyperstom Winter Ice Twister!"
The giant fusion was briefly covered in snow and frost, before immediately burning it all into steam. " Little tricks like that aren't going to work on us anymore!"
"Look, we're sorry that we tricked you, but we really don't know where Jasper is now!" Steven called out as he tossed his shield over and over again at the fusion.
"Then we'll just break open every tree and cave on the planet until we find her!" Mega Ruby shouted, blocking the shields and countering with a power slam.
"You don't have to do that! We can help you guys!" Marco shouted, flipping out of the way. "Trust us, we want Jasper off our planet as much as you do!"
"Wait … aren't you the enemies Jasper is looking for!!?"
"Okay, today is clearly not my day." The boy deadpanned.
"Hey everyone!" They all turned to Jana. "Stop fighting now, or I push the button!" She gestures to … the space button.
"You wouldn't dare.."
"I'm a witch in training! There's very little I wouldn't dare to do!" Jana laughed and smacked the button. "Guys, hang on!"
"NO!" The Mega Ruby broke apart, the parts trying to grab something.
Kelly tried to stab her sword into the ground, using it as a grip, until one of the Rubies grabbed her leg. "Let go!"
"If I'm going down, I'm taking at least one of you with me!" Eyeball growled before the little bastard actually bit down on her leg.
"Ow!" She pushed the little red gremlin off, but the brief second she had her grip loose was enough to send her flying out the door.
"KELLY!!" Steven immediately shot himself into her direction, grabbing onto her tight as he wrapped a bubble around the two of them, the base on the moon getting smaller and smaller as they got further away.
" STEVEN!" The gems and Star shouted, though it was faint as the moon itself became but a speck amongst the millions of stars.
"We're … floating …" Kelly muttered, looking at it. "In … the void of space."
"It's going to be fine…the guys have the ship now, they can probably find us…hopefully." Steven and her held on to each other for dear life despite not needing to.
"Right … it'll be fine." She hugged him tightly. It'll be fine.