Summary: How to handle a dead magic being
Moon sat with the other Commision members, all of them stolen, or in Rhombulus's case, a sobbing mess. "He was so kind!!"
Sean stood, leading them. "We are gathered here to honor the life of Lekmet, the most caring, wise, and nurturing of the Magic High Commission." Which alone was a scary thought.
"He had so much to live for!" Rhombulous bawled. "I told him he should've considered retirement, but he was too stubborn!" Steven, her son's now preferred name, patted the man on the back as he handed him a tissue.
"I will read a poem, made by the man himself." Sean adjusted his reading glasses. "Baaaaagh! Naaaaaaaah! Naaaah! Bagggh!" The man may have been shady, but he always had a way with words.
"Damn it, you old son of a Bitch!" Omnitraxus shouted, streams of the Milky Way leaking from his face. "I'm not gonna go a night without thinking about you!!"
"I always said the job would kill him one day… I had hoped that was just me being a sarcastic asshole." Heckapoo responded with her arms crossed, but a few tears of fire leaked out of her eyes.
"Let us not be lost in our despair, let us recall all the good times we shared with him, and enjoy Leckmet's favorite food as we close out." Sean held out an empty soup can.
"Um … are we-?" Star began to whisper.
"Roll with it, it's a wake." Moon told her back, before taking a bite out of her metal can. She would have to double the dentist's salary this month … and maybe a surgeon.
"Yeah, I just gave mine to dad." Steven whispered as he pointed to her husband, who chomped his to pieces. "I… I really don't know what to feel here. I want to say sad, but.."
"It's alright, Steven, I get it." Moon rubbed the boy's head. "I've known the man for over half my life, I could trust him to watch my back in a war, but I could barely speak to him any other time."
"Keep your friends close and enemies closer." Star muttered. "… Would it have been weird to invite Marco?"
"Star are you re-"
"Not for me, for Hekapoo. She has that weird bond thing going on." That sent many mixed messages to the Queen's head she probably needed to question the demon about.
"Eh, I think she's fine. She has herself." Her son pointed to Heckapoo, who had three clones hugging her or patting her back while saying words of comfort. "I don't think any amount of singing can make this feel any better."
"Heck, this isn't even the only person who died." Star sighed. "Glosseryck's gone, being one with the magic and eating soup or whatever he's making there."
"Next on the agenda." Sean spoke. "The morning of Sir Glossaryck."
"… Lekmet died too good for this world!"
"The stubborn old goat."
"I'm gonna miss his tall tales."
"Wow, they hate him just as much as me, they don't even acknowledge his name." Steven looked slightly baffled. "Is that a bad sign?"
"Well he was a terrible father that did a lot of shitty things." Rhombulus added with Crystal tears. "Also, it's not the first time he died."
" …What ?" Star and Steven said at the same time.
"Oh yeah." Hekapoo wiped away a tear, still looking mournful. "Lyric Butterfly thought a magazine for fashion was more important than the spellbook and let it burn."
"The blatant disrespect was so disgusting to Skywyne that she formed the spell book you used to carry. He came back when she filled enough pages."
"And what does he say when he comes back!?" Rhombulus shouted. "'You all did a terrible job while I was away!' Well look at us now you blue skinned bastard of a maker, Lekmet is DEAD!" The snakes tried to comfort the giant as her kids digested the information.
"Wait, so if we make our new spell book big enough, he'll come back?" Star asked.
"I mean …" Omnitraxus looked to them curiously. "Do you really want him back?"
"You just told me I have the power to bring someone back to life." Steven looked at his hands. "I think this is too much power for me to bear."
"Lekmet could do that too… It's how he died." Hekapoo was getting teary eyed. "Sacrificing himself so we could all live … you selfless bastard!" Her clones continued to comfort her.
"Let's give the commission some privacy, I think this is where we part ways." Moon scooted her family away from that emotional mess. "I really hate funerals."
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Dennis was cooking his special stew when he heard a knock at the door. Turning with surprise, he walked and opened it to see a young Mewman boy. "Hello there …" Said boy greeted. "Are you Dennis Avarice?"
"Yeah, that's me." He admitted. "Can I help you?"
"No, I just came at the request of your brother, Ludo." The boy sighed. "You know how he's… kind of evil and just attempted a mass takeover of all of Mewni?"
"That's been his dream ever since I could remember." Even if it wasn't the most ethical, his brother sure was determined.
"Well… he sort of… got possessed by a lizard man from the dimension of all magic and was manipulated for months as part of an overly complicated plan to regain his missing finger."
"Oh shoot." Dennis muttered. "Should I get an exorcist or did you guys already help him?" He knew something was off with him talking to that rock.
"He was separated from the lizard once he got his finger back, but after a whole series of events, he wanted some time to reflect on everything, so now he's on a soul journey through the void."
"Ah, that makes sense. He said he gained a lot of insight there last time." If he needed it, then he needed it. "Really hope another meteor hits him to a planet again though."
"We can only hope." The guy laughed. "I never thought Ludo was that bad, out of everyone that I've fought, he always seemed like the guy that needed someone to talk to the most."
"He does. He's the oldest out of about a dozen brothers, but he was also the smallest. Mom and Dad were extra hard on him to 'toughen him up'. One day it reached a boiling point and he managed to kick them out of the castle. I've admired him for that ever since."
"Oh so … what happened to the rest of them?" He asked.
"They all live in a hut, dad got abusive and mom just lets it happen with a broken smile." Dennis shuddered. "It's not the best, but we all get to laugh because we know he has no real power anymore."
"Well, you can always make the best out of a bad … or a terrible situation." He nervously laughed. "Family can be … weird."
"Oh, don't get me started. I feel the urge to protect my older brothers from doing something dumb about half the time."
"Preach. Do any of your brothers have a habit for accidental arson?
"I think Fudo does, but it's more on purpose … he gets that look in his eye." The adoration and worship of the flames. "Judo is a bit of an accident magnet though, so I think he does the most accidents."
"The best I can describe Star's are well meaning accidents. She does something to show she cares, but it usually goes overboard." The guy shrugged with a small smile. "I honestly would probably do the same in her position."
"Same. You get that they love you, so you don't want to change a thing about them." It was an odd cycle, but it was one he didn't mind. "Thanks for telling me. Feels nice to know where he is at least."
"Yeah, I can understand that … Do you want to talk some more some time?" He asked. "Younger brother to younger brother?"
"Of course, I can't really afford to say no to new friends. World's tough enough going at it alone."
"Yep…oh, almost forgot." The boy whistled, and what came up from behind him was an eagle and giant spider. "These were your brother's most loyal minions/best friends. I'd think he'd want them to help look after you."
"Oh." He leaned down. "Hey there little guys, how's it going?" He asked the animals.
"Kaaaw!" "Hsss."
"Wow, they really love my brother." He felt the need to get some soap to wash out their mouths.
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Star pounded on her brother's door. "STEVEN! STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" She continued pounding hard and fast. She needed his help now.
It eventually opened. "Star what-OW OW OW!" Oh, now she was hitting him, woops. "What the heck!? We're not under Mewberty, you shouldn't be attacking me now of all times!"
"Sorry bro, but I have a crisis on my hands here! I can't be in my bedroom! I see him everywhere!" Star shook Steven.
"... Him as in … oh corn." Steven groaned. "Star, please don't tell me you're still obsessed with Marco."
" Not every problem I have stems from crushing on Marco!" Star snapped at her brother. "It's Glosseryck!! It started when I saw him in the punch bowl at the funeral, then I saw him in the bathroom mirror, and now he's everywhere I turn!"
"Star, it's just stress." He patted her. "You heard Glossaryck was immortal, and the funeral put your head in a weird space, now your mind is playing tricks on you." He said. "Here, you can sleep in my room if it makes you feel better."
"…maybe." She said weakly as she hugged her brother. "Heh, I always manage to forget how much like a big teddy bear you feel like." She knew from watching just how much Kelly took advantage of it.
"That's what I'm here for." He led them to his bed. "That has to be a nightmare though, seeing Glossaryck everywhere." Steven shivered.
"I know. It would be one thing if it was just him, but he keeps popping up with a sad dopey expression like he's some wounded animal."
"I can't even imagine an apathetic jerk like him being sad." Steven grumbled as he moved. "I'm going to use the bathroom, then I'll be right back."
"Yeah, take your time." It was fine, her brother's room was a safe place that was always guaranteed to be a Glosseryck free zone. So what if Steven's bed was shaped like Glossaryck…wait…
Star backed away from the bed as its eyes blinked. "No, no, no, no! This isn't real! This isn't real!" She'd be safe sitting on this Glossaryck shaped rug.. "Agggggg!" The walls were covered in Glosseryck's eyes, they were all staring at her, full of sadness and disappointment. "Stop looking at me like that! Stop being so cryptic and tell me what's going on!"
"Star!" Steven ran out of the bathroom. "What's wrong?"
"HE'S EVERYWHERE!!" She shouted. "He's everything, he's unstoppable!" She could feel tears rolling down her face. "I can't stop seeing him! Please, please tell me you see it! Please tell me I'm not crazy!"
"Star… I don't see anything." Her worst fears were confirmed, she was just a nut… "But I don't think you're crazy."
"Steven, don't lie to me now! Just say what we both know so I can lock myself in the nearest rubber room."
"Star, you supported me when I went crazy during the marble thing, so I'm not just going to write you off as insane and ignore your pain."
"…You're the best brother in the world." She squeezed him even tighter than she's ever had before.
"Only because I have the best sister." Steven returned the hug tenfold. "Okay, past experience has told me that there's probably more to a problem that meets the eye. We know Glosseryck is around in some form in the universe, so there is a chance he's haunting you."
"Okay, and who do we know that's a haunting expert?" She asked.
The two of them were silent for a moment, going through their friends list, till one name came to mind. "JANA!"
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Jana took another bite of the nachos. "What do you think they do to make the cheese so tasty?" She asked Jackie and the dazed looking Marco.
"Chemical compounds mixed within the loads of salt inside the diary that gets us addicted to every bite." Jackie responded with a snort as she took a huge bite of her own. "That or magic. It's the only logical explanation."
"You think they chained up a pixie and used its tears as the secret ingredient?" Jana joked as well.
"Nah, Pixie tears taste terrible, it's their wing flakes that act like salt." Marco spoke up, taking a bite of his own. "Gnome blood is basically strawberry syrup, it's why they're extinct in about five dimensions."
Jana felt her heart thump just a little at that. Of course Marco had to become actually cool when he had a girl … one who was looking awkwardly at the ground. "You okay?" She asked.
"Hmm? Oh yeah, just thinking about stuff." She answered. "So, how's the princess doing now that she's back at her home?"
"Hilarious as always. Steven texts me about three times a week." She answered. "Right now Star's being haunted by her old teacher, so I gave them some advice on how to end a poltergeist."
"Of course the moment we aren't being attacked by aliens or lizard people, she runs into a ghost." Marco grumbled.
Jana heard her phone ring with 'spooky scary skeletons'. "See Marco, this is how you have an 'ironic' ringtone." She smirked at his face as she answered. "So, how did it go?"
"IT FAILED HORRIBLY! Now Steven can see him!!"
"IT'S SO CREEPY! Why is he in my cereal!? Why did I get involved!? Why does being helpful hurt me so much!!?"
"I don't get it, you buried the book piece at the cemetery right?" Jana asked, taking another bite of the addictive nachos.
" Duh, of course we did! I buried it with a nice patch of flowers right next to my old Warnicorn!"
Jana blinked, before she became livid at the utter stupidity. "I thought Marco showed you two earth movies!? WHY WOULD YOU BURY IT IN A PET CEMETARY!?"
"They did what !?" Marco shouted. "I thought they knew better than that!"
"He's small!" Steven answered. "He's lucky I didn't just chuck the piece in the trash!"
"Well no wonder why it got worse. Jerk or not, ghosts don't respond well to negativity." She chastised.
"Don't respond well to nega-Everybody in the multiverse hates him, he should just tell us what the problem is!" Steven shouted.
"How do we get rid of him, I can't sleep at night like this!!"
"The only way out now is to place the item in an area of special significance,something special to the person in general, and finally cut off all ties from you and the person in general."
"This is Glossaryck we're talking about, the only thing he cared about was pudding!"
"Hold on Steven, there might be something else." Star announced. " The magic sanctuary! It was covered in his face all over the place! If that doesn't work, nothing will."
"That's perfect! Thanks Jana!"
"No problem." She hung up, going back to her meal as she glanced at the dazed expression Marco had again. "What's with you?"
"Oh it's just … weird, to hear them go on adventures again." He responded. "They haven't really visited the gems as often so …"
"If I know Amethyst, then something crazy will come up to get them running here again." It was inevitable. "So, any big plans Jackie?"
"I think I might go overseas for the school year." Marco choked on his nachos when he heard that. She better leave before it got … awkward.
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"This place is much cleaner than it was last time." Steven noted, gazing at the serene feeling this place gave him … even if the view was bad. "This better work."
"Quiet bro, the bad vibes will only make it worse, and this is our last shot." Star placed a finger on his mouth as they approached the well. "You got the piece?"
"Got it." He presented it within the bubble. "I'm so happy the fritz is gone. Now I can bubble anything without trouble."
"You think your healing spit is back?" She asked.
"Next time someone is injured, I'll see what I can do." He answered, not really in the mood to test it. He moved to see a golden well. "So this is magic?" It looked so … tranquil … serene and powerful.
"Yeah, it was just a bunch of black goo when I went inside, then I dipped my hands in Glosseryck's soup as Rose tried to stop me from burning myself." Star sighed.
"It's weird. Pretty much everyone meets my mom except me." Steven chuckled hollowly.
"I mean … Do you wanna meet her?" She asked.
"I…I don't know." He replied honestly. "I hear stories, both bad and good…but…everytime I learn more about her, the less I like the idea of her." Steven sighed. "And…and I already have a Mom that's always been there for me, so do I really need any more love from another one?
"Yeah, you already have two dads, and that's confusing." She responded. "Well then, let's do it." She grabbed the last piece of the book from him, and tossed it into the well. "Goodbye Glossaryck." … His face entered the reflection. "FUCK OFF!"
"Seriously! First you don't want to be around us, now you can't stay away! Make up your damn mind already!" He pointed at the reflection. "Do you know how hard it was to be in the same room as you!? You, with your smug know it all grin, constantly calling me Steve!" He growled. "Do you know just how much trouble you would've saved me if you just explained everything!"
"You always made life harder for me! You never gave me a clear answer! You left me to deal with my problems by myself!"
"You were never any real help, all you did was make things harder and worse for us …" Steven muttered.
"..But I guess that could also mean you trusted me to handle it on my own too." Star let in some deep breath. "I mean, when you think about it, everything did always work out in the end, even if how we got there sucked corn."
"I mean … I guess it always was fine, even when it got scary and dangerous." He admitted. "He never got in the way of anything we did, and he helped get Toffee's fingers out of the wand." Steven sighed. "Guess if he really didn't care about anything, he would've just taken one of the memory clones."
"Yeah … which we're not." Star spoke. "No, don't go down that path. He helped us and … that was fine." She answered. "He was an okay person."
"Just okay… I'm okay with that." Steven let out a big breath. "Goodbye, Glossaryck. May you eat pudding wherever you are."
They turned back, seeing his reflection gone. "I think he did it." Star smiled. "I think he's resting in peace." It was nice … helping someone move on. The temple began to rumble. "Or he just got us here to murder us."
"Whatever! Fine! Star, stay back!" Steven got his shield out. "I'm ready for whatever crap you have for us next, pudding man!"
The rumbling stopped when a golden burst of magic goo hit Star's bag, sending it skidding away. The two of them blinked in confusion, looking at each other, before the bag rumbled, out of it came Star's magic notebook … which also began to shake.
"What the…" Star cautiously approached the book, and slowly opened it, only to get hit in the face with a small blur of blue. "Glossaryck!?"
"Globgor!" The man said, standing on all fours with dopey looking eyes. "Globgor! Globgor!"
"He's back…." Steven didn't know whether to feel relief or disappointment. "Was the haunting even real?"
"Globgor! Globgor!" The man looked more mindless than a pig-goat.
"I think coming back to life turned his brain to pudding." Star muttered. "Guess we got a new pet to look after." Great, a pet he actually DIDN'T want to care for.