Summary: The situation gets worse and worse
River glared at the monster sitting on the throne. He really hates it whenever any of them live up to his Moon-pie's rantings. "So, what should I call you?"
"Your worst nightmare." The tiny man laughed at the throne he mocked just by sitting on it. "You know, the Butterfly's in general have been a great thorn in my side for years. I have absolutely no fondness for any of them…but you're only related by marriage, so I can let some of that hatred subside if you help me out."
"Help someone who took my home from me, threatened my daughter for years, and recently tried to kill my wife? Sure, why not?" He answered sarcastically, tugging against his chain.
"Pfft, like you really have any other option." Ludo snickered.
"I could always KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!" River shouted, pulling against the chain as it creaked.
"Oh no, I've so scared, I just complete helpless against a balding burly man, guess I have no other choice but to-Levitato!" The man fired a green blast of energy and entrapped him in it, preventing him from moving a single muscle. "Now you see, I've run into a bit of a problem with the citizens of Mewni. They don't really seem to understand that I'm the king now and they need to like me."
"Of course you're not. You can't just walk in and say you're the king." He argued. "That's just moronic!"
"But I hold power over them, I'm wearing the crown, and I can toss them into the sun whenever I want! You're the old king around here! How do you do it?"
"Oh, you think I can help you with popularity? That's even more ridiculous!" River had no choice but to laugh. "I've been ostracized from my own family ever since I married my Moon-Pie, and people barely remember I live in this castle. If you're looking for praise, being the king is the last thing you should be doing."
"No, no no no!" Ludo shouted, his wand sparkling. "Monsters loved my parents because they were kings with power, now I have that power! So they will bow and respect and love me!!"
"Are you certain that monsters liked your parents because they had power and not because they actually knew how to run a kingdom?" River wasn't a buff on monster history, but he imagined there must be SOME integrity to their hierarchy. "I mean, you've reduced half the kingdom to rubble and just expect the citizens to live with the damage you cause. Not to mention the rat infestation you brought."
"The rats are citizens too!" Ludo called out. "You're not giving me any helpful advice, you're just telling me I suck!"
"… You mean you didn't know you did before?" River couldn't help but laugh again. "Quartz told me about your first army's little coup when Toffee came around. Face it, Ludo, right now you're just repeating your past mistakes because you don't know the first thing about being a leader. You hold no power of your own, and any that you do have was stolen from others. You're a leech that takes advantage of others' success because you have none of your own!"
"No success of my own!?" The kappa cackled. "Look around, this castle is mine! I took over gems, I beat you up in a one on one, I control it all. I! AM! SUCCESSFUL!!"
"Because of the wand of my wife's family, which you only have because of what Toffee.."
"TOFFEE ISN'T HERE! IT'S JUST ME! It's always been me!" River was slammed against the wall. "I AM DOING THIS! I AM THE GENIUS!" Well there went a few bones. "SAY I DON'T DESERVE THIS ONE MORE TIME AND I SEND YOU INTO THE SUN!!"
"You… deserve nothing more… then to be the jester of a royal court… if that." The monster screamed incoherently, covering him and magic and sending him soaring into the sky ... Eh, he'd land eventually.
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Moon woke up with a yawn, stretching her body with a crack. "Good morning terrible circumstances."
"Good morning, Queen moon." She was greeted by the sight of Mr. Bulgolyubov. Despite the less than savory appearance, he was a kind man that thought of his children's safety first, something she would always respect.
"Good morning Mr. Bugolyubov. Would you like some help fixing breakfast?" She offered her help.
"It is fine, you are guest." He smiled. "I make special fly cakes for my children." Right, she almost forgot Monsters we're accustomed to different circumstances when it came to matters such as diet.
"I'm sure my children will be delighted." She'd make up for this little travesty one of these days, when the whole universe wasn't out to kill them.
The door opened, Quartz yawning with his clawed hand. It was so much worse than it once was, her poor boy was suffering. "Mornin mom, mornin Buff Frog, morning Star." He was so strong to act like it wasn't bothering him.
"Isn't Star in the room with you?" She asked, gazing behind him. "The two of you went to bed at the same time."
"No … I thought she woke up and was hanging with you." He answered with confusion.
"No. Just me and Babies here with Queen Moon." Mr. Bulgolyubov answers pointing to his admittedly cute tadpoles. "What's this on you, Katrina?" The monster father picked up a piece of paper that was planted on top of one of their heads. "Oh dear…oh little Butterfly princess, you didn't actually do this, did you?"
Moon ran over, snatching the paper and staring at the words. "Nonononono." She clutched it hard. "She couldn't … she wouldn't …"
"Mom, let's be honest." Quartz spoke up with a tone of resignation. "Did you really think Star was going to wait for months on the plan?"
Moon stared at her son for a full minute before screeching! "Aagggg! Star, I don't know if the stubbornness is from me or from your father, but you have taken it too far this time!"
"Okay, let's do this." Quartz looked around. "Hey Buff Frog, do you mind if we pack a bag of chips supplies?"
"Oh no, you're staying here."
"Wha-I'm not leaving Star!" She simply handed him the paper in silence, letting him read it. "I thought we all agreed that Star's non-plan planning is bad."
"It is, but this is the one iota of sensibility she has." Moon explained. "The moment your in Toffee's sight, it's all over."
"Mom, you don't even have magic anymore, you're in just as much danger as me if you go to the castle right now."
"Yes, but it's my job to put my children before me." She looked over to the frogman. "Mr. Bulgolyubov, please keep my son out of harm's way."
"I'm sorry, Queen Moon, but on this matter, I am in slight agreement. You will most certainly die if you go alone, and I owe too much to young Butterfly's to let them lose their mother." The man bowed his head. "So I shall join you on your mission in assistance."
"Alright …" At the very least it gave her a better excuse. "Quartz, you watch the kids."
"But..but mom!" Quartz tried to argue out of it.
"No buts, young man, I'm not going to let you get dragged into my mess!" She let herself breathe for a second to calm down. "Besides, they need someone to watch over them. You're not going to leave them alone, are you?"
"Rrrrr." From outside, they heard Lion cry out a roar, one that sounded exhausted. Everyone rushed outside, and it was the pink creature coughing violently as a portal was created.
"Lion, what have I told you about eating too much? It ruins your throat." Her son chastised as out came…a human girl that looked vaguely familiar. "Jana!?"
"Steven? I just had this portal open up in my room and… wow, you're looking a lot more pink and scaley than before."
"Yeah, it's getting worse, but this is great, you're here, so you can watch over Buff Frogs kids while we fight Toffee..!"
"Quartz, don't you even dare suggest..!"
"Mom…I'm just as stubborn as Star. She went off on her own because she thinks there's no other choice. Well, I think there is, and it's all of us fighting together."
"Not that I'm against you coming with us." The man himself interrupted. "But can we trust her with my little ones?"
"Absolutely. You're good with children, right Jana?"
"Hey kids, wanna see a dead body?" The tadpoles began jumping up and down.
"…She had a particular sense of humor." She needed to reevaluate who her kids made friends with.
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Jackalope stared at the unconscious red hoodie one, intently gazing at his … familiar form. "Brrrr." [Confusion. Unclear. Memory. Flaw. No memory.]
"I know, I know, I could've come up with a better plan, but you definitely shouldn't have come along." The bushy one chained right next to the unconscious one groaned. "Hey Diaz! Think you should wake up now!"
"No mommy, Jackie is giving me kisses." Such strange words she would never understand.
"Wake up!" The bushy one shouted.
"What time is it!" Their eyes shot open. "Are we late to school, what's…." The hoodie stared at the Jackalope in silence with a weird expression.
"Brrrr." [ confused. Strange. Clod.]
"Oh right, I'm in another dimension trying to save my best friend and her family."
"Some good you're doing." Another creature chained up, one in weird poofy looking clothes, said as they rolled their vision spot.
"Weren't you the guy that ruined the Butterfly song?" The hoodie asked.
"Ruined? I preached the truth! Shows that princess who she can and can't replace." The poofy one grumbled.
"But they can replace you … you literally just made everything worse by showing up." The bushy one deadpanned. "And now you're in the dungeon … what, forever?"
"Only because Queen Moon locked me in here for revealing 'state secrets' and because 'King Ludo' doesn't like any of the songs I make for him." Humanoids were so talkative.
"Wait, Ludo is king?" The hoodie asked, looking around the room. "Did he lock you all up unfairly too?"
"Yep, pretty much because we don't like him." A humanoid with bells on an image modifier headpiece explained. "Some of us complain about the rats, others just think he's ugly. Either way, we're stuck here."
"The one time I miss Tarry." The green one spoke. "Now he can't just break us out."
"We really gotta visit the guy, I'm pretty sure we were his only friends … probably." The hoodie looked around. "But on the real note, let's not give him what he wants! Even in death, we resist the tyrant, king Ludo! Viva la resistance!"
"Resistance! La Resistance!" The humanoids were cheering in what some would call hope. What a baffling concept, especially in the face of doom. "Just Ah…how are we going to do that? We're still stuck."
"Oh I was just wanting to see who'd die even if it came down to us or them." The hoodie shrugged. "Hey purple dog, your short and can't do a job for shit!"
"RRAGGH!" [Annoyance. Anger. Murder.] The purple canine rushed at the hoodie, who used the gravity connectors they didn't chain for some reason to hold onto her head and move himself above her bite, forcing her to pull back as the rocks connecting them came out of the wall.
"Thank you Garnet training sessions!" The hooded figure then quickly jumped atop the purple one, gripping onto its neck before making it collide with her own smaller form. "Sorry Peridot, but we gotta take you out for now!"
The Jackalope recovered, moving to the device master referred to as a 'crossbolt', waiting for the hooded figure to hold still while the purple one thrashed against him. "Anyone have anything sharp?" He shouted.
"Dude, my hair is basically an armory, reach in and grab something!" The bushy one gestured.
"Right!" The hooded one reached into the bush, and pulled out…something pink…something that installed an instinctual fear upon gazing at it. "Don't make another move or I'm poofing all of you!"
"Brrr." [Patience. Threat. Range.] She aimed the 'crossbolt' at him, prepared to fire it at any moment, the moment he struck or moved.
"Fine, don't say I didn't warn you." The Hooded figure closed his eyes and-
Shing
The Jackolope felt her hind regions become separate from the upper half of her body, the boy having moved faster than she could blink.
"Dude, how'd you do that?!" The bushy one said with sparkly eyes.
"You'll pick it up in a few years." He spoke, turning his gaze to the other one as the Jackalope felt the last of her consciousness fading. Along with a sense of … comfort? Why would they feel comfortable when unable to do anything?
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Ludo groaned as he leaned in his chair. He had it all. The power of the wand, the authority of the crown, an army … but nobody other than his minions liked him! The entire reason he did this was to be liked, but nobody was doing it!
He couldn't just levitate everyone into the sky…actually he could, it would be super easy to do it to, but then there'd be no one left in the Kingdom to sing the praises he wanted…except his minions.
Was that what he should be doing? Just get rid of everyone that refused to like him and fill the kingdom with people who did? Why did this have to be so complicated compared to how it used to be? Back in the good old day where he and the boys tried to take the wand from-
"LUDO!" … Speak of the devil. He watched as Star walked in, staring him down.
"Hey Star." He waved half heartedly. "I take it you're here for the 'big destiny' showdown or whatever."
"Yes… No, I don't know, I came here on a half thought out idea and honestly thought things would just fall into place when I came here." The princess sighed in a slump.
"Same!" Ludo shouted. "Why can't it just be like the good old days, me chasing your wand. Now I'm trying to get respect and love since I have a wand, but nobody likes me. All they do is complain about my friends and call me ugly to my face."
"Geesh, that's rude. Well, mostly the ugly thing, I've been trying not to judge appearances to avoid being a jerk like my mom." Star mulled it over. "Nobody here really likes me either, since word about the spellbook got out, I've been getting corn thrown at me every time I step into the village."
"Yeah … it sucked that I had to burn the book." Ludo admitted. "Glossaryck was such a good father too."
"Wait, you burned the…AGH! Too many problems are adding up!" The girl's own wand was glowing green just like his own, but she refrained from holding it up. "Look, magic's been getting messed up ever since the wand broke, and it's because Toffee's been using this long and complicated plan."
Ludo stared at Star, before laughing, then cackling. "You're sounding just like Glossaryck … Toffee isn't alive … I DID THIS!" He shouted in anger, letting his wand spark as Eagle and Spider stood straighter. "I took over the kingdom, I corrupted the gems, this was all me! I am no one's puppet!!" He pointed to his wand. "It tells me so!"
"Ludo, you've been talking to a WAND! Take it from someone who owns one, it's not supposed to do that!" Star shouted.
"Well maybe when you spend a couple years in the void, and another three isolated in a forest, you'll be able to hear your wand!" He shouted back, shooting a beam of energy at the princess. "Maybe it just proves I'm better than you!"
"Or maybe it just proves your brains on the verge of snapping in pieces and Toffee's taking advantage of that!" Star avoided the fire. "Think about it, when the wand talks, who's voice are you hearing?! Is it your voice? Your thoughts? Your ideas!?"
"SHUT UP!!!" He charged up more energy! "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" He began firing a massive beam of power as the former princess formed a shield. "SHUT UP SHUT UP! It's all me! I WAS NOT HELPED!"
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Steven ran to the castle, mom and Buff Frog close behind as they all hid behind a carrige, taking a look of their surroundings. "Alright, if I know everyone, Marco is fighting some guards after having busted out, and Star is …"
BOOM
"Fighting Ludo." Buff Frog finished. "Honestly she's much further along in non-plan than I expected her to be."
"Quartz, be honest with me, does everything you do on earth get to this level of chaos everytime you adventure somewhere?" His mom asked, rubbing his now scally face.
"No … hasn't been this serious since the gem warship." He admitted. "Usually you just pity the enemy, find them funny, or have an easy way out." He probably shouldn't mention they fought Mina Loveberry. "After that, there's usually small breaks where at least half of us just deal with some kind of emotional baggage."
"Well I found some more of the emotional baggage." Buff Frog pointed to the two headed hydra guarding the front entrance lazily, along with Lapis swimming in the river, and Pearl flying overhead.
"That must be Garnet … aww, even corrupted they're fused. That's super cute." Steven noted.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate the sentimentality as they stomp all over our corpses." His mom said darkly.
"Hgh." "rff." [Sentiment. Appreciation.][Freeze.Burn]
"They do." He raised his arms up, even if he couldn't focus his mind enough to make a shield, he still had his strength, something this corrupted form actually helped in. "So how are we doing this? Pearl's going to be the hardest to avoid with the whole eye in the sky thing."
"I will take on Pearl." Mom flashed in a ball of light, before turning blue with butterfly wings and six arms.
"... Since when could you do that!?" Buff Frog shouted.
"I could do this at will since I was nineteen. The fritz makes it hard to keep, but I should manage for a few minutes. Buff Frog, you go after Lapis, you can hold your breath the longest and Quartz is too sentimental to hurt her."
"Very true." Out of all the gems, it hurt him the most emotionally to fight Lapis. Amethyst was the second worst, but she wasn't here thankfully. "I can communicate with Garnet like I did with the Centipeetle, I could probably get her to stand down just long enough to get past her."
"Good, then let's do this." Mom flew at Pearl, shooting beams at her.
"Caaaww!!" [Prey. Threat. Eradicate.] He was just gonna let them do their thing. It seemed like she had it for now. He didn't have the time to think about the ramifications of his mom fighting at best his kind but sort of stiff aunt figure.
"Go, little Butterfly, go!" Buff Frog shouted as he hopped on top of Lapis's back. She surrounded him in a watery speare, which Buff Frog was able to swim out of easily, going for her neck.
"Sssss." [Annoyance. Destruction. Protect.] He really hated how he was fighting his friends through all of this, but they probably would have had to do this anyway. He just hoped Buff Frog took it easy on her.
He looked at Garnet … "Why couldn't I have fought Peridot?" [Fear. Regret. Preference.]
"Grrrr." "Wrrrr." [confusion. Question. Destroy.][Together. Satisfaction. Destroy.]
"Look, I'm really glad the two of you can be happily destructive together, but could you possibly, I don't know, do it somewhere else, preferably somewhere isolated and away from people?" [Worry. Suggestion. Plead.]
"Wrrr." "Grrr." [Protection. Master.] [Remove. Threats.]
"I'm not a threat! I'm Steven!" [Clarity. Anger. Frustration.] The spikes got bigger on his back as he felt the urge to begin running on all fours and clawing up the ground. "You don't need to have a master, your entire existence started because you defied an authority figure!" [Truth. Hope.]
The gem head looked at each other, looking like they were about to actually think it over- Idiot, now that I've spread the corruption to every gem, you being here only accelerates the process, my hold is even greater now.
"Shut the hell up Toffee!" He shouted, holding onto his head. "All you're doing is dragging innocent people into this!" Innocent? They're born by ruining life. That alone gives me justification to ruin theirs.
"So they stab an eye out, so you take one out too? Yeah, because EVERYONE wins in that scenario..not!" I don't want an eye, I want the entire head crumbled into dust after burning in despair.
"You're going a long way just for a finger!" Steven shouted, the pink glowing getting brighter as his claws became sharper. "What, was it so hard to pick your nose without that one digit!?" Aww, you have snark … too bad that'll vanish by the end of the day.
"No! I won't" He yelled into the air, his voice becoming raspy and animalistic. "I'll still be here! I am Steven!" So naive….you have no idea on how many levels how wrong you are.
"And what is that supposed to mean!?" He felt angry, wanting to tear the lizard apart and devour its flesh between its tee-He was getting too worked up, he needed to calm down. Tell Princess Moon I'll be seeing her soon. And this asshole was making it very difficult.