"You're certain I can't just drown the entire place? I've lifted an entire planet's ocean, this'll be no problem."
"No, where we need to go is too volatile. There's no telling what will happen if we make the wrong step." Moon and that damned Lapis discussed with each other, talking as if Omni and the other members of the commission weren't in the same room.
"In that case we're going to need a hit squad, strong and elite. Does River have a guard of magic proof knights?" The gem asked.
"No, I'd rather leave my husband out of this. He has a tendency to … 'jump the gun'." Moon quotes. "I know you're against them, but I really think the crystal gems should be involved in this."
"Ugh...fine, wouldn't be the first time I've worked with horrible people." The blue gem sent a glare their way.
"Ah, can you stop talking as if we don't exist?" Heckapoo groaned. "For that matter, can you start talking louder? We need to plan this out together."
"Oh we weren't talking and planning as if you weren't here." Lapis shrugged. "I just like insulting people to their faces when I feel like it."
"We could just torture the information out of you." Omnitraxus threatened. He didn't know why the laughter that followed his threat disturbed him so.
"Torture … information … good one." The gem gave a dark chuckle. "Just do what the Queen says and everything should be fine."
"Yeah, because we're the ones that need to blindly trust you two right now." Rhombulous rolled his eyes.
"Baaagghh."
"Lekmet's right, we just need to get the wand and book from Ludo. Anything after that is fair game." Hekapoo huffed.
"Yes, and by fair game, you mean leaving my son alone." Moon scowled. "He's been bonded to Star since they were babies, so regardless of what you say, he's a Butterfly, and my child."
Wouldn't be the first time they replaced a queen … but they could save that little reveal for a later date. "It just baffles me. Everyone universe that I've scanned, not only is Greg Universe his father, he's also some kind of gem hybrid in each one." The consistency of it was just ludicrously ridiculous.
"Well that's on you. Maybe you could warn alternate you'd about the problem or however that works, but Steven is left alone." Lapis spoke, turning to Moon. "You better contact the gems … I'm not the best conversationalist."
"No kidding.." He sighed. Not only was this getting nowhere, he was just reminded that he was prohibited from talking to other versions of himself in order to keep space time intact.
"Nonsense, I always enjoy our lovely chats over tea." Moon smiled before going to the nearest mirror. Omnitraxus's only hope was that everyone else on earth was suffering just like him.
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Kelly watched as Steven and Star argued with both the Gems and his father. "Come on, let me join, I get to go on missions like this all the time!"
"We've fought Ludo hundreds of times before, we've even beaten him when he first came at us with the wand piece!" Star added in.
"And the second time you lost the book of spells and Steven nearly lost himself to corruption." Pearl responded, ruffling the feathers on her back.
"That's ironic coming from you guys." Kelly joined in. "Who's to say it won't get worse if you near it?"
"That's the point." Garnet adjusted her glasses. "We don't trust ourselves around you if this accelerates … Amethyst has already gotten half feral."
They all turned to the gem that was growling at a rock with a dazed look in her eye, shaking herself when she noticed them staring. "I'm fine, I can hold it together for one big showdown."
"And as you said before, Ludo isn't exactly the biggest threat in the universe, even with his handling of magic." Pearl reiterated. "And if the song day went as poorly as we were told, the last thing you need is to be around the magical high commission."
"Yeah, that was a mess." Steven hid in her head for an entire day…it felt nice to have someone in there again just for the nostalgia alone.
"Sorry again about that guys." Mr Universe apologized. "I should have gone after him the moment he came on stage."
"It's fine." Her boyfriend waved off, a soft smile on his face. "We've dealt with worse, and we can totally bounce back from this." He turned back to the gems. "But that still doesn't give you an excuse to-"
"You'll also be occupied with another major event today, so you won't have the time to follow us." Garnet answered cryptically.
"I really doubt that the whole Star/Marco thing can possibly get that troubling." Steven rolled his eyes.
"What are you talking about!?" Star laughed, punching her brother in the shoulder hard enough to get a wince. "That was just the delusional rantings of a jealous singer. We're just best friends, right Marco?"
"Yeah, totally." Marco responded, though he did it without looking at Star herself.
"Okay, so if it's not that … then what-" They heard police sirens, a few seconds passing before everyone turned to Amethyst.
"Why do you assume it's me!?" She shouted in outrage.
"Because Peridot lives in the barn, and we're nowhere near there." Marco responded.
"Oh come on, it could've just as easily been Star!" Amethyst counted back with an admittedly good point.
"No, I've kinda just been hiding out, I don't think it's me this time … unless they found that thing I stored at school." Marco looked panicked at the admission
"We're all criminals in some way or form, aren't we?" Kelly sighed, recalling all the times she punched someone in public when she kept forgetting people use money here instead.
The cars rolled around, out of one of the doors came … a very sleazy looking guy with a black jacket, green t shirt, golden chain and shades, along with a bald head with a white patch on the back. "Well well, I guess you really did run back home … Greg."
"Marty!?" Mr. Universe looked panicked and shocked at the man right in front of him.
"Wait, Marty? As in your old rotten manager, wealthy scumbag, dead to you Marty?" Steven asked.
"That would be me." The man admitted without shame, snapping his finger. "That's the guy officers."
A man in uniform walked up. "Sorry to inform you, but as you've skipped bail for not showing up to perform without a medical leave, and breaking your contract." He pulled out handcuffs. "Please don't make it hard sir."
"Seriously, we don't have the time to deal with this now." Star groaned and began to lift up her wand.
"No attacking the police officers, Star!" Mr Universe called her out. "I'm already in trouble as it is, I don't need my step daughter getting in hot water in two dimensions."
"Come on, can't we talk this out or something!" Steven pleaded with them.
"Aww, is someone gonna miss their daddy?" Marty sarcastically spoke in a baby voice, before scoffing. "Kid, we live in a world dictated on money and laws, and your pappy has neither. No sentimental bullshit is gonna let you talk your way out of this." … She really underestimated how deeply the definition of 'asshole' was associated with this man by story.
"It's okay Steven, this'll work out eventually.." Her boyfriend's dad was dragged away by the cars, and an awkward silence filled the air.
"Sentimental bs my foot. You want money and law, I'll give you both and then some." Steven got a serious gaze on his face, horns spiking out of his head.
"Is it weird I find this hot?" She whispered to Star and Marco.
"Yes." Both of them said at the same time, making them back away again with blushes on their faces.
"We'll leave you to your business then. We'll be back later." Garnet said stoically before she and the gems made their way out, leaving the kids to deal with … this shitshow of a mess.
"Well I'm going to get my dad out of jail. Marco, your the jailbreaker, I'll need you as back up in case plan A fails." Steven gave her a quick kiss before heading out. "I swear, we'll all be celebrating something great tonight!"
"Sure, yeah." She mumbled half heartedly as her heart beat out of her chest and her face felt on fire. The moment the boys were out of the room she let herself sigh in satisfaction and ecstasy. "I am so in love with that boy."
"Seriously, I'm his sister, stop talking to me like that."
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Sadie watched as Star walked in with a downed look on her face. "I take it I'm being someone's emotional speaking buddy again?"
"How'd you guess?"
"Everyone comes to me for emotional advice for some reason." Ironic, considering she's the single girl that lost. Maybe that was a sign of her emotional maturity among her peers. "Do you want the usual pink sprinkle explosion as you vent?" Sadie offered.
"Make that a double order of springle explosions. This is a conversation she's needed for a LOONG time." Kelly entered as well, although she looked a little red in the face from something.
"Should I get you something to vent too?" She asked. "We could make it a triple threat as I discuss how big of a jerk Lars can be without knowing it."
"Not really, now that I'm not dating Gad, I've stopped needing to have the urge to rant for hours while punching random strangers. I have very little to complain about Steven…" Kelly's face got even redder. "I just want to be wrapped in those plushy arms for hours."
"Can people just stop talking about romance!?" Star shouted. "I have never, once, had a good association with it considering Tom, Marco, fusions being crazy, and how you were BEFORE Hekapoo's dimension."
"Well to be fair, you did tease your brother a lot about it." Sadie pointed out. Not saying it was Karma, but she was also not saying it wasn't.
"Because he deserves something going right in his life." Star banged her head on the table. "And me, I didn't ask for much at all! I came to this dimension not wanting to come, and I grew to love it, and now my dumb feelings are ruining everything, with my mom, with Marco, probably my brother next if I don't do something about it!"
"That … seems like a lot." Sadie admitted. A large messed up pile in all actuality.
"I once saw a spell that shoves away negative emotions, I'm half tempted to use it." Star looked at her with a half hopeless look. "How do you do it, Sadie? How do you keep going when things just…don't go how you want it to?"
"Hm…lots of experience I guess." Sadie pondered for a second. "My mom's a bit overbearing, anytime I show an interest in something, she takes it to an extreme and goes to full eleven on it before I even wonder if it's something I actually like. I took this dumb job just so I could avoid her doing it all the time."
"So what I need is to be fully thrown into what I want in such an uncomfortable manner and then I won't want to do it." Star summarized.
"That depends, do you actually not want to like Marco like that?" Kelly asked the princess. "Because I've had to wrestle with whether or not I should just stop everything with Wad or if fusion was the only thing me and Steven had together, and it was a WHOLE load of stress to deal with."
"… Nah, I can't mess with Marco like that." Star admitted. "But he's with Jackie, I can't get in the way of that …"
"Trust me Star, if anyone knows how you feel right now, it's me." Sadie sighed.
"Yeah … What is it about humans being surprisingly attractive?" Kelly asked. "Steven, Marco, Mr Universe."
"I think we just all have a type for soft, kind innocence that are open emotionally, and can also knock teeth out with a single punch." Sadie laughed. "Funny enough, Jackie's the one that's helped me process the whole thing. She actually doesn't mind other people liking Marco, says it could help his confidence or something." That and he was too much of a rule follower to ever think about cheating.
"That is absolute irony at its finest." Star slurped her smoothie in a single sip. "I guess Jana did the same thing for you?"
"Oh…I've actually been avoiding talking to her ever since Steven and I started dating." Kelly groaned. "He says she's gotten over it, but I don't trust it at all, standing there, being his friend.."
"Girl, not everyone has a break up buddy system like you and Tad." Star rolled her eyes.
"Really? Because as far as I'm aware Steven has Jana, and Marco has both Sadie AND you."
"What? No! That's not how that works at all, not in the slightest!" Sadie yelled at the girl's very, VERY clunky logic. "Marco doesn't have me, he doesn't own us no more than we own him. If I date Lars, break up with him and then date Marco, it's not because there's this line or checklist that needs to be filled."
"… A very strange world this is." She really needed to remember these people were from another world entirely.
"Yeah, my brother's too sweet to think about another girl when he has a girlfriend, so don't start getting funny ideas, or I sic lapis on you." Star looked to the ceiling before standing up. "You know what, you're right Sadie. I'm getting too hung up over this. Macro doesn't run my life, I do, and what I want to do is have fun to start off my first night of summer vacation!"
"Yeah, let's head to the beach for some fun." She smiled. "Beach Creek for the win!"
"I still say that's the dumbest name for a town ever!" Everyone said that, but it's their town.
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Marty watched as Greg rested behind a cell. "You really thought you could run, didn't you?"
"You never seemed like the gloating type Marty." Greg spoke solemnly."You're an asshole sure, but you seemed more pragmatic than that."
"What can I say, I feel like expanding my horizons, especially after you make the same mistake twice over twenty years later!" Marty banged his hand on the bars. "I had my own gig going on, I didn't need your smultzy sad crap, but when you came crawling back, you were so pathetic I felt like I had no choice but to help you out of pure pity."
"And then the times just … kinda blurred." The man admitted.
"And you were good, great! People actually came to your sad sack shows for a change! We were rolling in deals and dough! And then…you just vanish! No note, no calls, you couldn't even finish the show that you OWED me!" Marty pointed accusedly. "You screwed me over again and ran back to that washed up, stupidly named town!"
"I just found out my son was alive! Nothing else mattered after that except knowing he was okay!" Greg got up, scowling.
"If you wanted out, you should have played to the end of the year and not signed the next deal. I swear, you 'family' types are so impulsive." Marty scowled.
"Oh really? When was the last time you even looked at your own kid?" Greg countered. "I had to help Validia out with Sour Cream because your absent butt was nowhere to be seen."
"What kinda name is Sour Cream, who names a brat after a condiment?" He muttered. "And as long as I can mail child support, I don't give a shit. He'll live." Not like the kid had any interest in getting to know him anyway. "Well, I hope it was all worth it, because now your brat can see you everyday now, from behind prison glass, from 9 am to 9 pm."
"Yeah … I got to see and spend time with him … it was worth more than you could ever comprehend."
"I'm so touched." He snorted. "Not like it's going to help you get out of that cell anytime soon."
"I disagree." He turned, seeing Greg's brat enter the room with a short man with a blonde beard and some blue fancy clothes. "I think my dad is going to be leaving very soon."
"… If you have enough money to pay his bail, go for it." The man shrugged. He was an asshole sure, but like Greg said, he was pragmatic at heart.
"I know, I just realized that…people like you are just really heartless, and don't change easily, and if I let you walk out of here now, you're just going to do the same thing to someone else later down the line." The kid sighed.
"Let me walk out … of a police station?" Marty laughed. "Oh sure, punch me and spend a night in the slammer."
The short man walked up, holding him by the collar. "Diplomatic. Immunity." The man threw him across the room against a brick wall.
"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Marty screamed, half surprised at this happening at all, half calling out to the police to get this maniac.
"I am this boy's father!"
Marty stared at the man, before looking at Greg. "Is this why you never went for a hooker? I thought you were definitely into tall women."
"Adoptive, got raised in another dimension, it was a whole thing that'll just confuse you if I explain it." The kid shrugged, before grabbing the cell door and ripping it off its hinges with his bare hands . "Dad already paid the police more than enough to pay for bail and damages, so that'll give you two, I don't know, maybe a good ten minutes for you to really get to know each other, right?"
"Make that twenty, Quartz. I heard what this scoundrel said about his own child, I need to be extra thorough." … Greg was right, he really shouldn't spend his time gloating.
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Ludo petted Eagle and Spider. "You two are the best friends and minions an evil overlord could ask for." His life is amazing right now.
Minions, power, magic, the book, a father figure, and soon almighty spells. All was finally looking up for the kappa. He completely nailed down Levitato. All he needed to do was learn a couple more, and Mewni would be in the palm of his hand within a matter of months, a year at most. Nothing could stop him now, absolutely nothing!
The door slammed open. "We've come to stop you!" Shouted a Crystal man … Rhombulus, already downing his two best guards.
"No, no! Nobody can stop me! Rats, get him!" The rats rushed in…only to all fall into a portal opening on the floor. A pale woman popped out of it afterwards…Heckapoo, which meant this was the Magical High Commission attacking!
"We're all here." Queen Moon came in, followed by Omnitraxus and Lekmet.
"Well if you want someone taken down right … you do it yourself!" He charged his wand. "Enthused you swine!" He blasts a shot of magic right into the Queen's face, only for it to be blocked by Rhombulous's crystal.
"He has his own wand!? Did you know about this, Moon!?" Omnitrackis shouted.
"It doesn't matter!" He was trapped within a pool of water, swung into the arms of a … strong and tall lady with an Afro. "He falls either way."
"Oh, if it isn't those crazy gem Ladies … who's the blue one?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"She's new, and kind of does her own thing, it's a long story that involves an alien invasion and the earth almost blowing up." The short purple one, that looked significantly more furry than last time he saw them.
"Alien invasion?" He blinked. "You go crazy in a void and lose yourself in a forest, and suddenly the world goes mad … or did I go sane?"
"The only thing you're going to do is give me back my family's crystal and the spellbook, Ludo." Moon sternly ordered.
The pale rock lady, covered in feathers, pointed her spear at him. "And you will be reversing whatever spell you've cast and remove the corruption."
"Corruption, I just make lasers and levitatio." He explained. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about."
"Give us the wand then." The blue one moved water around his arm. "We'll take it from there."
"No, it's mine! Its my wand! It says it belongs to me and me alone!" Don't let them take us away.
"What was that!? Who goes there!?" The Afro lady shouted, looking around frighteningly.
"Nobody said anything." Omnitraxus spoke. "I think the corruption is messing with your head."
"No, I heard it too." The blue one increased the pressure of the water. "Who was that!?"
"My friend … ever since … he stays with …" He could barely focus, the pain and pressure were too great. Give me control. What?
"No, that voice.." The pale one pressed the tip of her spear against his head. "Where is he?! Where is that scaley coward hiding!?" Do you want to go back to the same old life you previously had? Loosing at every turn?
"Ludo, please, don't resist." Moon asked. "Think of your brother, think about Dennis!" If you surrender, they'll go after him next. They'll hunt him down like they've done to so many monsters before.
"Ludo, don't trust him!" The Afro one tried to pry the wand from his hand. "He's lying to you!" Or are the people who hunt monsters lying?
"I won't be weak…I will stay strong… for my brother." He closed his eyes. "Do it." Good, It'll all be over in the morning.
There was nothing but blackness afterwards, fleshing covering the wand until it became his arm, the crystal embedded within his palm.
"Hello again, Pearl, Garnet … Princess Moon." Toffee shot a laser from his at Rhombulus, watching as their body shattered, snakes slithering away. "A nice time for a reunion."