Summary: Some fun shorts sprinkled with cannon
"Your friends have a rock in their stomach, a magic wand, a red hoodie, and stretchy hair." Steven stated. "These are completely normal and every day to you."
"But imagine if you will have a sudden day in which the rock is on their arm, the wand is a laser, the hoodie is blue, and the hair is fluffy." Star added in. "Everyone, other than you, finds this normal."
"There lies a place between the five corners of the multiverse." Steven continued. "A place in which time and space have no meanings, where imagination becomes non fiction."
"Where up is down, black is white, and the course of the universe changes just because someone had a different mom." Star carried on. "What's stranger? What's different…or what stays the same?"
"Anything you can dream up becomes reality, entire worlds gone, whole new one's created." Steven said. "Like seriously, did you know there's an au where I'm the one trapped in the mirror instead of Lapis? I can't even begin to comprehend how that works."
"Can't be weirder than the AU where you're the son of the Cluster." Star pointed out. "The weirdest one for me is where I'm a stoner."
"I thought it was that one universe where you're just an overactive girl who's really into Sailor Moon and Marco's your rival obsessed with Dragon Ball and you both pretend to fight magic while solving problems."
"Still better than most of the au's in my catalog. Most of them are about Marco getting with a different girl."
"Kornel people, get some creativity!" The boy shouted, before clearing his throat. "... As we were saying … Welcome to the Quartz Zone."
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"Come on Rhinestone!" Connie complained. "You have an entire infinity to explore and you want to waste it on a history test?"
"How is it wasteful to memorize history?" The boy in black armor and yellow tinted eyes looked at her like she was the weird one here. "If you fail history, you're doomed to repeat it. That's basically the story of Mewni in general."
"Everyone repeats history." She shrugged. "Big corporations run by crazy maniacs in an endless cycle to destroy each other. The closest thing we had to world peace was the cold war."
"That's where they fight in the tundra, right?" Rhinestone asked, flipping through the pages.
"No, it's called that because there were major tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union, but there was no major battle between the two super powe–We're getting off topic!" Connie cut herself off. "Could you at least explain what that giant glow worm on the beach was?"
"Corrupted gem monster from when the diamonds were pissed off at the Crystal Gems, the beach ladies that would want me dead if they learned I had this." He lowered his armor plate, showing off a Yellow Diamond embedded into his chest.
"If they want you dead, then why did you come to this dimension anyways…"
"Because despite that, I can actually go about my days like a normal person without worrying about Monster politics. But the moment Dad catches wind of said beach ladies trying to kill me, I go back to Mewni."
"Got it, keep it on the down low." She nodded. "So … monster politics?"
"Lots of racism, dad married mom and had Star, who was a hybrid. The Magic High Commission is pissed beyond belief and according to Star, is trying to find Mina Loveberry." The boy sighed. "She hasn't been seen since Yellow Diamond's attack on Mewni, and I would rather keep it that way."
"Yellow Diamond...like the one you have?"
"That would be my mom." He sighed. "Tried to conquer both worlds in the name of her sister for thousands of years, then apparently met dad on the highway after crash landing."
"Yikes, that's like…the opposite of a magical destiny." Connie noticed how unnerved the boy felt. "Sorry for bringing it up. You're pretty much the only interesting thing in my life now."
"Vice versa." Rhinestone stared into her eyes. "You desire so much adventure but keep listening to your parents and following this strict guideline." He laughed. "I can somewhat relate."
"Yeah, it's amazing to me that they even agreed to allow the whole exchange student thing to begin with…especially since you're a boy."
"What does that have to do with anything?" He asked curiously.
"Well, it's just that…social cues about a boy and a girl sharing the same house that aren't related…indicates certain..images…" Connie blushed at the thought.
"Star and dad are both cold blooded, and they share a bed with anyone all the time." He shrugged. "I guess I just don't see it. So what was the Civil war about? Why would America fight itself?"
"Probably not the best topic to go over if you want to forget about Mewni Politics." She laughed.
"Gotcha, now just.." A portal opened, and a spear shot out of it. "Oh come on, Johansion! Mom dumped you, don't take it out on me!"
"All the children will suffer!" Man, she couldn't imagine that guy being a good dad.
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Rose watched in mild horror as Blue-... 'Steven', feed Star another chocolate strawberry. "How does it taste, sweety?" He asked with a smile.
"Delectable as always, thought nothing could ever taste as sweet as my little blueberry." The six armed purple girl caressed the boy's chest as she planted multiple kisses across his face.
"And nothing looks as divine as my lovely butterfly." He returned kisses, holding each other tightly and suggestively.
"Star!" Moon shouted. "While I understand affection, please keep it to your room … and not at the dinner table." Rose would appreciate that very much.
"I deeply apologize, your majesty, I thought I taught my diamond about the importance of limiting public displays of affection." The 'former' Pearl of Blue Diamond light bowed her head as she sipped a small cup of tea.
"Come on, only the other diamonds really care about that stuff … well, except pink apparently." The boy stared at Rose with a strange look. "It's nice to see you Rose, I know we don't get to talk a lot."
"Yes…It's just…a lot of duties for me to perform, both on Earth and Mewni." Rose responded. Truthfully, she practically counted the seconds until this dinner was over. Even if this kid wasn't Blue in disguise, being this close to the Diamonds in any capacity made her light projected skin crawl. "So when did the two of you become so…touchy?"
"Since always I guess." Star shrugged the middle arms while using the other four to snuggle close to blue-Steven. "It's like hugging a soft cool pillow, I've always been happy to feel him. The whole mewberty thing just kind of..supercharged what was always there."
"And Star makes me feel warm on the outside and inside, and the arms are like wrapping myself inside of a blanket." The boy caressed her wings. "Now we simply enjoy each other in our entirety." Blue-Steven said with a smile. "I wanted to try breaking for peace with you Rose, or a pardon actually."
"That's…certainly an idea…Steven." Rose responded with a hesitant laugh. "I'm not certain how that would go with the other diamonds however..pretty sure they want even the dust of my shards evaporated."
"Well, Yellow wants you dead for sure." Steven agreed with a nod. "I've been trying to talk her down for a while now, but White just laughs whenever I mention you for some reason."
"A diamond with a sense of humor, that's not a good sign at all." Pearl, the non blue one, grunted. Rose would have taken that personally if she didn't have a point.
Steven pouted. "Are you saying I can't be funny?"
"Not at all, my little blueberry, I can always count on you to brighten my day with a laugh." Star cooed her boyfriend. "Oh! Show them that new trick with the clouds!"
"Oh right, I almost forgot about that." Steven concentrated his arms outward as his gem started glowing blue. "I was thinking of ways to get Star to smile more, and when I thought about how happy she made me, I got this." A small blue cloud formed over the table, and it was blown right into Moon's and Rose's direction.
"I'd prefer if you kept power use-aha-outside the-aha…" Moon's mouth became uncharacteristically wide with a big smile as Rose suddenly felt herself feel as light as a feather.
"What-hahaha-are you to-hehehe-doing to us-HAHAHA!" Rose fell to the ground, rolling in happiness.
"Well Lapis and Pearl said Blue Diamond made people feel her sadness, so I figured out a way to let people feel my joy." Blue answered-STEVEN answered with a smile. "Isn't it amazing!?"
"It's a bit much…ahahaaha…to handle…ahaha…all at once!" Pearl laughing was either a very good or a very horrifying sign. "Blue…ahaha…Diamond never….ahaha…used her powers like this befor-ha!"
"Blue Diamond Isn't here though. It's just my wonderful blueberry, Steven Universe." Star rubbed the boy's face.
"Thank you, my sparkling beauty, Star Butterfly." Steven went in for a kiss. Rose would be creeped out if she wasn't too busy laughing.
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"You like her." Meteora poked her brother's cheek. "Just admit it bro." The white haired boy blushed as he tried to push her away.
"Come on, Meteora, Jana's just a friend. Do you know how rare that is for..for us, since we live in a barn?" Steven frantically rubbed his wild and bushy hair.
"Not that hard, I'm friends with lots of people." She smirked.
"The animals and plant monsters don't count." He deadpanned. "I mean like…someone who can talk to you back normally and not question why I have a horn in the middle of my head."
Meteora sighed. "We live in a town with magic gem ladies no one questions. Why should THAT be something weird and freaky?" She asked.
"I guess you have a point, but if you ask anyone in town, they look at me like I'm not…normal."
"Steven, what's the first rule mom taught us?" She placed her hands on her hips.
"If someone tries to ask about her run for the hills?"
"Okay, the second thing mom taught us?"
"Always love everything about people you care about."
"Exactly! And you happened to find a girl that's actually into all the witchy stuff, Mr. Unicorn." She snorted as she used her tail to lightly pat her brother on the back. "Don't waste a single second holding back, okay?"
"Like you do whenever you see that Marco guy."
"We don't mention Diaz around here, you got that buster!?" She let her claws slip out for a second.
The boy snorted. "Aww, is someone mad they're getting teased about the person they said smelled like Bacon?" She was gonna tear his eyes out!
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"And you guys just … found this channel?" Jana asked as she stared at the tv.
"Yeah, Peridot was breaking apart the tv for parts, Star blasted it with magic to stop her, she hit me holding the TV, now we see this." Steven spoke, cuddling with Kelly.
"I don't like the way that Connie girl was looking at the yellow Steven, she looked too close." Kelly said, resting her head on Steven's shoulder.
"Come on, I don't even know anyone named Connie." Said boy replied with a wave of the hand. "I didn't need another look at the blue me again though. That I could've lived without."
"Lovin the Eclipsa one, goth vibes totally work for you." Jana smirked.
"But I'm not there, so I instantly give it points down." Star sighed. "I wonder what other universes we can get."
A strange void opened, as a galaxy with a skull on it came out, glaring silently at the group before picking up the tv. "Curse you, Steven Quartz DeMayo Universe Butterfly." They grumbled, before walking out and leaving with the device.
"I'm really getting concerned by how much he probably doesn't like me by now, and that's excluding the shady commission thing." Steven said with a slight nervous sweat.
"Meh, can't be worse than your dad being a criminal. You're just lucky our town has incompetent police." Jana shrugged. "Carried out so many dead bodies from that cemetery."
"You know, maybe there's a universe where you don't say that like it's a normal sentence." Kelly rolled her eyes.
"Maybe, but I doubt it." Especially if what the last universe they saw was any indication. Nice to see there was one where she had more of a chance with Steven.
"So, you guys wanna check on the drill, see if the gems finally stopped making Peridot annoyed?" Star asked. "Cause Omnitraxus kinda took the only interesting thing left today."
"Give me five more minutes, I have like three years of comfortable sleep to catch up on." Kelly replied, continuing to rest her head on Steven. Guess the guy made his choice….good for him.