Summary: It seems things keep haping in childrens sleep, so lets bring out an evil technique to help them out.
Rafael Diaz grabbed the record player, dusting off a few goodies to get into the sculpting mood. Queen, Pink Floyd, Destiny Sisters, and the all time best, Babba. Well might as well go disco girls since all the kids are busy.
He placed the record, setting it up, and grabbing a log with his trusty carving knife. The best part about hosting an exchange student from another dimension was that the girl's highly energetic lifestyle was a great muse for his art. The girl even turned the entire living room into a jungle last night, so now he could experience exotic sights without even walking out the front door! The girl was always doing such nice things for them, so he figured it was time to return the favor.
"Oooh-ooh oooh-ooh, oooh
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh
Oooh-ooh oooh-ooh, oooh
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh"
The toucans flew through the air as he finally got the outline of the mouth just right. Now he needed to be careful and add in the hearts. He had to duck and cover a few time when the strange blue tiger skulked by, but the pink lion always hanging around the house managed to keep it away.
"Saturday night is a night alright
Time to groove till the morning light
Your bellbottoms on
Your hair unfurls
You are the disco girl"
He continued on his project, creating a central butterfly to the figure, one that would carry the most detail and beauty to it. The tiger aiming for his head meant nothing in the face of music and carving.
"Everyone gasps when you hit the scene
People say you're a funky queen
Spinning around like a disco ball
Who's the honey who's got it all?"
"Dad, where did the forest come from!?" His darling son, Marco, asked him. He would've answered, but the tiger came back, so his son ducked behind the Pink Lion that was taking a nap. "Of all the times to sleep, why do you choose now!?" Marco would be perfectly fine. If he fought monsters all the time, then surely this wouldn't be an issue he couldn't handle.
"Disco girl
Coming through
That girl is you
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh."
"Oh, Mr.Diaz. I love what you've done with the place." Star complemented as one of the owl-like creatures landed on top of her head. "So cute."
"Star, I'm pretty sure this is your doing." Marco said, trying to get the pink lion to get up.
"It's the year 1972
And that girl is you
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh."
"Nah, it can't be me." She waved off. "If I was gonna make a forest then the trees would have cupcakes instead of fruit. This is too … normal. Like you!"
"A forest in a living room is not normal!"
"You can sing
You can shimmer
Love's on the menu and disco's for dinner."
"It's completely normal! Do you know how standard this setup is for Mewman homes? In fact, this was the theme for Quartz's room for a couple of years before he got interested in Stars and space and stuff."
"Well it's not earth normal, and it screams your insanity."
"Disco girl
Coming through
That girl is you
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh."
"Well the forest and your parents' lovely taste in music are doing it for me."
"Thank you, but this was here when I woke up!" Rafiel explained.
"She's got sass
For miles and miles
Disco will outlast all musical styles."
"Hey Star, I was wondering if we could…oh wow, the Diaz's really know how to liven up a living room." Star's little bro that came around from time to time entered the room.
"This isn't something we'd do normally!"
"Disco girl
So wild and true
That girl is you
Ooh-oooh, ooh-oooh"
"Yeah, random dance jungle party! The best way to wake up in the morning!" The girl grabbed her brother by the arms and twired themselves around and around.
"Ah, if only morning's could be like this all the time." The younger boy smiled.
"I'd prefer my morning's to have less carnivorous animals and poisonous mushrooms next to me."
"Strutting down
The avenue
That girl is you
Ooh-oooh, it's you-ou."
"Come on Marco, lighten up. Mornings as energetic as these rarely come around, and are best enjoyed!" He shouted to his son.
"Our Eurovision application is under review
That girl is you."
"Exactly! Which is why I'm treating everyone to a Together Breakfast! Star, get the popcorn ready while I get the toaster waffles!"
"Oh, then at lunch, we can have some snack sushi! I got enough cheese puffs for a couple dozen rolls."
"My family is just as insane as other dimensions, great." It was, now they had even more fun!
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Marco woke up to the sound of explosions. He was sad that this was becoming commonplace in all honesty. He did enjoy the excitement occasionally, and the monster fighting actually gave him a chance to USE his karate skills practically, but he'd like a rest period before getting the blood pumping again.
Sighing, he got up and put on slippers, walking down the hall silently until he finally got to the sound of the explosions. Unsurprisingly it was Star's room. Opening the door he was greeted with a sight that actually WAS surprising. Star and Quartz were fighting each other with their eyes closed. Well it was more like Star wailing on pink bubbles.
"Get….away….narwal blast…" Star said with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, the hearts on her face glowing white.
"Stopr…running….away…" Quartz snored as the bubbles protected him, blowing away all the spells that hit him, which either deflected them into the nearby ways or blasted the magic at random objects. The star's on his face similarly glowed white.
"Lamp…destroy…" A random beam hit a lampstand and came to life, attempting to strangle the younger Butterfly. "Bean Bag…mucher…" Another blast brought a nearby bean bag chair to life.
"Hey, guys, cut it out!" Marco shouted, and that only served to get the newly sentient objects aimed directly at him. "Star, Quartz, wake up! You're magic-ing in your sleep!" He cut the lamp in half, it still crawled all over him.
"Wha?" Star finally snapped out of it. "What's going on!? Where am I!? You can't have my cookie cat collection!"
"Where am I..Star? What am I doing on Earth? I went to bed in my own…Wait, you have what now?!"
"Oh would you look at that, Marco's being attacked by a sentient bean bag, let's focus on that." Really wished his safety was the top priority, but he wouldn't be against the help in any case. "Lightning twinkle rescue!" A small spark of energy blasted the lamp and bean bag back to normal, finally allowing him to breath. "Marco, what happened?"
"You two were fighting in your sleep." He spoke, catching his breath. "You kept shooting magic and Quartz made barriers that didn't explode or fly off."
"Only in my sleep?!" The boy shouted. "Are you kidding me!? The one time I don't blow up, and I'm not even doing it awake?! That's either really cool or really sad."
"More like really concerning." Star rubbed her hand. "Why would we be attacking each other in our sleep? We love each other!"
"Family fights all the time." Marco clarified. "It's nothing too bad, though it usually doesn't get this crazy."
"But we love each other." Star spoke. "Who could hate these squishy little cheeks." She said, doing just that.
"Well it seems we only have one option." Marco spoke. "I'm going to be your therapist."
"But dad said therapy was overrated." Quartz said. "Besides, there's an easier method we have on Mewni."
"Yeah, the doctor puts you in a catapult, and after you wake up from the week long coma, you've completely forgotten about all your previous problems and are just happy to be alive!"
"You see, it's saying lines like that so happily that convinces me the two of you need to do this." Marco got out a pair of square glasses and a notebook. "Luckily for all of you, you happen to be friends with Marco Diaz, PHD!"
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"So how does this … therapy work?" Quartz asked.
"We just talk out your problems." Marco, in a funny looking vest sat across from them as he and Star sat next to each other on the couch in the jungle living room. "Psychology is a step by step process that takes months, even years to figure out, but for now, the best way to solve your problems is to figure out what they are to begin with."
"But we have no problems with each other." Star waved off. "We've barely had an argument with each other at all…ever." That was true. He always thought that's what made them such great siblings.
"That's why we'll start off with an ice breaker." Marco tilted their glasses like an obviously smart person would. "Now, Quartz, name one thing that you would change about Star. It doesn't have to be anything drastic, even something as small as a choice in hairstyle."
"What's wrong with my hairstyle?" Star raised an eyebrow with an accusing finger.
"That was just an example, Star. Nothing to read into."
"So you're saying you don't have a problem with my hairstyle?" Star asked.
"...We were starting with Quartz here, let him talk." They ignored the heavy huffing of his sister as Marco turned to him. "Now Quartz, if there's anything you'd like to change about your sister, what would it be?"
"Change my sister?" That was a loaded question. The thing with change is that you couldn't force someone to do it, otherwise it doesn't actually count. "This is just a hypothetical, right?" Marco didn't give him a response, so that probably meant he just had to give an answer. "Well…I'd like it if she wasn't so…happy fighting monsters, or fighting in general."
"But fighting is fun." She spoke. "It gets the blood pumping, makes you think, and lets you do whatever you want without restraint. Maybe you shouldn't try talking with people it won't work on."
He frowned. "It was working on Lobster Claws."
"I admit that he did som e good when he saved you, but he still went back to Ludo in the end." Star rolled her eyes. "In the end, he didn't really change, he was just less of a jerk than I thought he was."
"Yeah, because you told him he was better off being evil and working for someone evil." Quartz narrowed his eyes on his sister. "You didn't give him a chance, and now he's probably never going to want to be good again."
"And Ludo is a crazy guy obsessed with taking my wand and ruling over Mewnie, and monsters follow him around."
"Because there's nowhere else for them to live aside from caves and swamps. Ludo's the only one with a castle, of course they'd listen to whatever the little maniac says, they're all afraid of losing the only comfortable home they have!"
"So why don't we just go over to him, give his head a chop, and let the monsters do what they want?!" She asked him with a shout.
"Okay, starting to get a bit political rather than personal here." He almost forgot Marco was here. "Let's switch perspectives. Star, what would you change about your brother?"
"I'd like for him to stop trying to act responsible and admit he enjoys getting in trouble with me." Star said almost immediately.
"Are you kidding me!?" Quartz shouted. "I wanted to goof off and have fun, like with the kids in the park. But you went super overboard with fighting and riding warnicorns, I had to be responsible!"
"Just don't be!" Star shouted. "Can you imagine a life without rules, like a life without mom looking down on us all the time!?"
"I have imagined that, and it scares me!" He yelled back at her. "I know she's strict, but her being there all the time when she calls us out on stuff kind of…comforts me a little. I was a baby that was found floating down a stream! That means there's a moment in my life where nobody was there for me! Why was I in the forest that day? Did my parents die…or did they look at me and not want me around?"
"Why are you so hung up on the past? We're kids, we have our entire lives ahead of us. We should be enjoying it before we have all that strict stuff shoved on us! I feel more happy here than I ever did in the castle!"
"You're happier here then you were with me!?" Quartz was close to abandoning pacifism.
"That's not what I meant! I mean being here, with you, with Marco, with Kelly, even with that useless hairball Tad! I'm surrounded by friends! I can actually be myself around in a place where I'm free to do so!" She turned to Marco. "Therapy isn't making us better, it's just making us turn against each other!"
"Yeah, we'd never got this mad at each other before someone put the idea in our heads that we had a problem!" They were now both looking at Marco, who was scooting away from them.
"Well, I think we've made a lot of progress today, a lot of stuff has been revealed. Now let's head to bed and think about this in the morning or the next day or whenever you two have a cooler head." He ran up the stairs.
"He totally was the problem … we don't hate each other right?" He asked her with hope.
"Don't even think about it, Quartz. So what? There's a few things we don't agree with? If it's a problem, we'll just scoot it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist until it's gone."
"I don't know, watching the drama was getting interesting, Camera Phone." A strange new voice came down the stairs. A purple elephant-like creature in a dress carrying a tied up Marco in her grasp. "Now if you don't want anyone to get hurt, Star will come with me, and let me laser her face off."
"… What?" Star was right, they were already in sync again!
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"Ah…who the hell are you?" Princess Smooshy looked down at the princess who's face she needed. "And follow up point, why the hell are you here and what's this about lasering my face?"
"My name doesn't matter, I'm just one of the few runaways from Saint O's. Camera Phone." The purple princess took out her cellphone and took a selfie, as she always did. "Came here because some horse head talked about this place and you alot."
"Ponyhead…of course." Quartz just slapped his forehead knowingly. "Well if you're trying to hide, do it somewhere else. If they come here, they might confuse it for Star harboring a criminal and take her too."
"Oh, they're coming, and they will take her, it's just going to be her going in my place instead." Smooshy rolled her eyes at the obvious. "I would've lasered her face off in her sleep, but then she started glowing and the next thing I knew, Quartz was coming out of a portal and the two of you started blasting my butt with explosions. Camera Phone." Another selfie for the fans.
"We don't hate each other!" Star shouted. "We're just so awesome we can kick but in our sleep!"
"And apparently I can unconsciously tell when my sister needs help across dimensions! Wow, I can't tell you how much of a relief this is, thank you!" The boy shouted, before getting confused. "But why would taking Star's face make them take her instead of you?"
"Isn't it obvious? The only way you can tell us apart is with our faces. So I'm gonna laser her face off, put it on mine, and give her mine. They'll take her and I'll get off Scot free." She took out her phone once more to commemorate the perfect plan. "Camera Phone."
"… Star, is this one of those times where mom and dad's 'body shaming' lessons come in?"
"I…I don't…I can't….why…?" The girl was speechless, obviously stunned by how well thought out her plan was. "I know we just had a whole discussion about fighting and not wanting to fight, but it's been a long night and this girl has caused us enough grief already."
"Oh no, I'm with you here. I want tomorrow to come as quickly as possible." The boy formed a bubble in his palm, which means that was her cue to go.
"Well you've all been a lovely audience, but there's places to go, and faces to laser!" She tossed the tied up Marco at the prince and grabbed Star the moment she was distracted.
"I thought you just wanted mine!" The princess shouted.
"I have hobbies!" Apparently faces sold well on the black market. She'd need all the dough she could muster to start her new life on the run.
"I'll get Marco, you blast her to bits!" The prince boy shouted.
"I would…but I don't have my wand on me!" Hah, even better. Grabbing the girl, she started to climb the surrounding vines and made a hole to the roof of the house. "Look, if you're really from saint o's, then you're just a princess that likes to have fun, right?"
"Finally!" The boy shouted. "You're trying things my way!"
"Well yeah; of course I am!"'Smooshy explained even as Quartz follwowed her to the roof. "I got this laser finger that I love using, but just because I use it on people and take selfies, that makes me 'problematic'. Camera Phone."
"Have you thought about maybe not using it on people? The selfies are fine though, show the world your beauty!" The butterfly princess suggested.
"I mean, I guess I could've just said no to the dress instead of setting that guy's house on fire, but he was also my ex, so he had it coming."
"Believe me, sister, I wished I could do the same to my ex, except he's a demon, and thus he's fireproof."
"You could always drown the fool, Camera Phone." This time it was with the both of them, it would make an amazing before and after shot. "Once I take your face, I'll see if I can do it." She got her dimensional scissors and aimed her finger at Star's head. "Nice girl chat, hope you don't mind doing it from a cell dorm….!"
"Therapy blast!" Marco appeared, throwing that notepad right at her head. "You need help, so I have no choice…but to throw the book at you."
"Puns aren't…" She said with a daze, before blacking out, though not without taking out her phone one last time. "Camera phone."
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All three of them sat atop the rooftop as they watched the goons from Saint O's drag the girl. Star was conflicted about seeing the girl get taken away. On the other hand, she had thought this disturbing plan would work, and had apparently been revealing her current location every minute with selfies.
"You know, despite the fact we had to beat her up with a terrible pun … it was nice." Quartz smiled. "You tried to talk her down first."
"Yeah, well you're always willing to fight monsters with me even though you don't like it, I'd figure I'd switch things up a bit for a change." She shrugged and wrapped an arm around her bro. "Sorry it didn't work out."
"No big deal, you didn't just jump to fighting, and that girl was crazy, so it probably wasn't going to work anyways."
"You see guys, this is therapy." Marco spoke up. "Admitting you both have problems, and letting them flow out as you come to terms with-"
"No, this is just sibling stuff." Star said. "Therapy is evil."
"Dad was right, it's just headache inducing jibber jabber that only messes with your head more." Quartz agreed wholeheartedly. "We were never fighting each other, we were just fighting that girl."
"Yeah, that means we're always trying to protect each other, even if we're asleep…or in another dimension." They both turned to Marco. "Thanks for trying to help, but don't do that ever again."
"But what about everything you two said before?"
"That's just stuff we put under the rug and ignore, super healthy." Star shrugged. "Sure it'll come back, but only when it matters."
"Yeah, like Star said before, we're young, best to not think about that junk too much when we can still have fun with each other as much as possible."
Marco looked at the two of them and stood up. "You are very disturbed people."
"Yeah, but you love us for it." Star pulled him in for a group hug. "Otherwise you would've never become my best friend."
"….I hate that I can't actually argue against that."