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Chapter 4 - Misery is still sharp

Rolling and piper sat with sophe before her therapist in her therapist office.

"Sophe gets addicted to alcohol and smoke", piper said to the therapist, Doctor Anne.

"I have a choronic drinking disorder", sophe said, "Even obsessed with smoke and alcohol and I try to control my consumption of it once I start drinking. My addiction causes problems affecting my family, school and health. When certain people like me may be physically prone to Alcohol and cigarette addition, emotional factors also appears to be involved, that's why my parents needed considerable help from a trained professional to break free from this addiction"

"I had a bad habit of smoking when I was abused at a young age, but I didn't want it to affect my kids when I have a family in the future, and then back at Mexico everybody was too rough and my eldest daughter, sophe was getting into it, when I found that sophe was addicted to this bad habit at a young age, I told her if you want to have fun, don't smoke, just drink", piper said.

"I know when life is chaotic, you can lose sight of what's normal because you were born in a town full of corrupt occupants ", doc Anne said.

"I made a lot of friends with this qualities and all I could do was join them", sophe said.

The doctor turned to sophe's parents.

"Sophe and I need a private moment alone, please ", she said. Sophe's parents walked out.

At nighttime, sophe sat in her bedroom on her laptop, squall was sitting on the window, having pizza with Buch.

"So what are you gonna do tomorrow after school?", squall asked her, "I mean after your presentation with Clude?"

"Nothing really ", sophe said, "I'll just come right home and sleep till dawn"

"Or you could go on a date with Clude ", squall mumbled but sophe heard it. Sophe turned to her.

"Wait, you read my Chat?"

Squall got up. "Wait, before you start,sophe, your phone was lying on the couch unlocked and it was right in front of me"

Sophe Looked at Buch. "Buch!"

Buch grabbed Two pieces of pizza and ran out. "I was never here!" ,he screamed.

"I unlocked my phone just so Buch could use free WiFi, instead you guys were going through my chat", sophe said.

"Plus it was just so intense", squall said, "You guys were arguing real tough"

Sophe got out, walking away.

"Okay, I'm outta here", she said.

School next day. Chloe came to prepare sophe for the presentation with Clude.

When Chloe pulled off her sleeves, sophe saw the writings on Chloe's hands.

"Wait, you tattooed your arm?", sophe asked her.

"You know", Chloe said, "My dad got his arm tattooed and I was crying my eyes out cause of it because I saw how painful it was, so I told him I was gonna tattoo my arm too so that we could feel the pain together. Sophe, promise me not to hide yourself When you're in pain, it's unfair that we laugh together but you cry alone "

"Talking to you was one of the best part of my whole life, but if I started to depend on you, it felt likr I couldn't stand alone anymore ", sophe said.

Chloe hit her playfully. "You're a pain in the ass, sophe"

"I'm lost, Chloe, and I feel like I'm disappearing"

"You have to recover"

"How am I supposed to recover when I don't understand My disease?"

"The only thing I told you was how much of a pain in the ass you were"

Sophe laughed. "Well, I'm a pain in the ass"

"Well, even a pain in the ass needs someone. If you focus on what you left behind, you will never see what lies ahead"

"How do you get over someone?", sophe asked her.

"Don't look back, don't dwell on anything "

"It feels like my heart is freezing and burning all at once. Why do some people stay longer in my head than in my life, I have been trying to move on, and it's obvious that I can't "

"Every story has an end, but in life every ending is just a beginning. I'm kind of upset about it, sophe, because I really like my family even though sometimes I say I don't, sometimes I even think I don't, do you get that?"

Squall walked to them and pulled sophe to the back stage room, and started making her up.

"You'll do great", Chloe said to sophe.

"What's with the make over Squall's giving me?", sophe asked her.

"For your performance ", Chloe said.

Sophe sighed.

"Oh, sophe, Clude's a good guy. Hurry up now, I'll be among the audience now. Goodluck, sophe", Chloe said and walked away.

Squall sighed.

"Sophe, you mustn't punish yourself for your past mistakes ", she said.

"Squall?", sophe called.

"Yes?"

"What's it like to be depressed?"

The question came suddenly, so squall had to take her time to think of an answer.

"I don't know ", squall said, "it feels like you don't remember what better feels like and you do things that you think will make you feel better but it doesn't and then you get frustrated "

"What is love?", sophe said , quietly.

Squall had to take a deep breath before saying. "Love is when nothing is okay and everything is hurting you a lot but still you want the same person over and over again. Like Cyril, when I feel his love, I feel like I'm on top of the world and when I don't, I feel like I'm nothing.the more people you love the weaker you are, you'll do things for them you know you shouldn't do, you'll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe, the world is cursed, still you find reasons to keep living. The real stays, the fake leaves. Just look at the sea, waves, skies...life may be sad, but it'll always be beautiful. If you love someone, sophe, you say it right then, out loud, otherwise the moment just passes you by"

"Well, now I need you to help me, make me feel likw everything is okay, I'm scared to fall in love again, squall"

"I know, it's hard to have a fresh start when he past is still on your mind, but something's you can't change, no matter how unfair they are. Look how happy Clude is anytime he sees you, sophe "

"I don't care how happy he looks, squall. Everyone has a monster, the question is - what's his?"

"Love makes you do crazy things, sophe"

"If he was too sincere, them why did he leave me without saying anything? The thought of Eugene haunts me like an evil spirit day and night, the worse day of Loving him was the day that I lost him. I haven't forgotten anything, I've chosen to forgive him so that I can move on. My life is lost but there's no turning back, my past went by without event, it's unimportant but the present is worse. Love can break more than your heart, squall, it can shatter your mind"

"Well, I love Cyril, sophe, you cannot change me. Just because you're unhappy doesn't mean you have to make everyone else miserable ", squall told her.

"I know what I did, and I know why I did it, but that's not what I am anymore "

"Sophe, don't be like this. Come on, you have to do this for yourself, do this for Clude at least "

Solhw got up.

"I can't do this without a cigar ", sophe told her, her face was pale.

"No, you quit", squall said, "there's no turning back now. Now come on, go out there and show them what you got. Everyone is waiting. Clude was waiting on stage "