JUDE'S POV
I can't help but smile as I look at James sleeping peacefully beside me. His mouth is slightly open, giving him a look of innocence and vulnerability that I find adorable.
As I watch him breathe softly, I can't help but think about all the memories we have shared. Even in his sleep, James manages to bring a sense of comfort and warmth to me.
I decide to make breakfast before James wakes up. I slowly get out of bed and head to the bathroom for a quick shower.
As I stand under the warm water, I can't help but reflect on how much I like being around James. He makes me want to have things I have never wanted before. I know he is just my sex buddy but I don't want what we have to end.
After my shower, I quickly throw on some clothes and head to the kitchen to start making breakfast. The smell of sizzling bacon fills the air, and I can't help but smile as I think about James. I crack a few eggs into a pan and start scrambling them, adding a sprinkle of cheese and some mixed herbs.
As I flip the eggs onto a plate, I hear James' footsteps coming downstairs.
"Good morning, little one," he says, his voice husky from sleep as he hugs from behind.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," I reply, handing him a cup of coffee. "I am making breakfast for us."
"Thank you for the coffee," he says as he gives me a peck on the cheek.
James sits on a stool, rubbing his eyes. He takes a sip of his coffee and looks at me with a grateful expression. "You are the best," he says. "Is it okay if I go and have a quick shower before breakfast?" He asks.
"Yes, you can go, I haven't toasted the bread yet."
"Okay, I will be back soon," he says as he goes upstairs.
As I finish preparing breakfast, I can't help but feel a sense of happiness. Despite the casual nature of our relationship, there is something special about James that keeps me wanting more. I enjoy our time together, whether it is in the bedroom or simply talking to him.
I know that our arrangement may not last forever, but for now, I am grateful for the moments we share. Today may be just another day but when I am around James it feels like so much more.
I am about to go upstairs to check if James has finished bathing when my phone starts ringing. I look at the caller ID and I find that it is my Dad calling, I start contemplating whether to pick up the phone or not. I have started my day on a good note. I don't want my father to ruin it. I am sure he is calling me to scold me about something. I am about to just let it ring when I remember the warning he gave me the last time I saw him. What if he is calling me to let me know that he is taking everything from me, I can't afford to lose the comfortable life I have.
"Hey, Dad." I pick it up before it cuts.
"Hello Jude, how are you?"
"I am fine, thanks Dad, how are you?"
"I am alright."
"That's good," I respond, hoping that he only called me to check up on me but I doubt that.
"I am worried about you Jude, I know you think that I am being hard on you but I am just trying to make sure you have a bright future. I know that you are smart and strong but I sometimes wish you were not stubborn like your mother." He says the last part in a low voice. I want to cut the call the moment he mentions the woman who gave birth to me.
"Dad, I have told you countless times not to compare me to that woman. She is not my mother, she is just a woman who gave birth to me. Giving birth to a child does not make anyone a mother. Taking care of them and loving them is a mother's job but that woman did not do any of that." I tell him.
When the woman who gave birth to me left us when I was six years old, my father became both my mother and my father. He took care of me and my brothers and made sure we never lacked anything. He used to spoil us, especially me, he always gave me everything I asked for no matter what. But things started to change when he wanted me to act a certain way or do things the way he wanted them done.
But now I have realized that his tough love and high expectations are his way of preparing me for the real world. He wants me to be independent, strong, and successful. And I am grateful for that, even though it may not always seem like it.
I know that my dad only wants the best for me. He sees my potential and believes in me, even when I doubt myself. He pushes me to be the best version of myself, even when it's hard. And I appreciate that, even if I don't always show it.
But when he brings up my birth mother, it stings. It reminds me of the pain and abandonment I felt when she left. It brings up memories that I would rather forget. And it makes me question my worth and identity.
I wish my dad could see that I am not my birth mother. I am my person, with my strengths and weaknesses. I am trying my best to navigate this world and find my place in it. And I wish he could see that, instead of comparing me to someone who is no longer a part of my life. Why is it so hard for him to understand that my heart breaks every time he brings her up? I don't want anything to do with that woman, sometimes I wish I could erase all the memories I have of her.