Marcus stared at the massive, winged beetles devouring Old Man Wilbur's turnips like they were at an all-you-can-eat buffet. The beetles' shiny exoskeletons gleamed in the sun, their wings buzzing with an eerie hum as they hovered over the devastated crops.
"Why couldn't it just be regular-sized beetles?" Marcus groaned, gripping his sword. "Or maybe some slightly hungry rabbits?"
*Ding!*
**Quest Reminder: Exterminate the Giant Turnip-Eating Beetles!**
"I know, I know! You don't have to keep reminding me!" Marcus grumbled. "Why am I talking to a system like it's a person?"
*Ding!*
**Because you're lonely.**
Marcus blinked. "Wait, what?"
The System didn't respond, but Marcus could've sworn it was smugly enjoying his confusion. Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand—taking down the beetles before they turned Wilbur's farm into a barren wasteland.
He crept toward the nearest beetle, sword drawn. The beetle, fully engrossed in demolishing a particularly large turnip, didn't notice him approaching. For a moment, Marcus wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could get through this without a fight.
*CRUNCH.*
His shiny boots, as useless as ever, squelched loudly in the mud. The beetle's antennae twitched, and it slowly turned toward him, its beady eyes narrowing.
"Oh no…"
With a loud, angry buzz, the beetle lunged at him, mandibles clicking. Marcus yelped, ducking out of the way just in time.
*Ding!*
**Tutorial: Giant Beetles are weak to fire-based attacks! Use your Fireball spell!**
Marcus scrambled back, raising his hand. "Right, fireball! Fireball!"
A tiny spark sputtered from his palm and fizzled out before even reaching the beetle.
The beetle paused, seemingly unimpressed.
Marcus gulped. "Uh… minor fireball?"
The beetle lunged again, and Marcus barely dodged to the side, rolling awkwardly in the dirt. He scrambled to his feet, waving his sword wildly.
"I swear I'll figure this out eventually!" Marcus shouted, slashing at the beetle with all the precision of a man who had never actually fought anything in his life.
Surprisingly, the blade glanced off the beetle's shell, sending the creature buzzing backward with an annoyed screech. For a second, Marcus thought he had won, but then the beetle's wings started flapping furiously, lifting it off the ground.
"Oh no… they fly," Marcus muttered in disbelief, watching as the beetle soared above him.
The System chimed in, unhelpfully cheerful as always.
*Ding!*
**Fun Fact: Giant Turnip-Eating Beetles are capable of flight at speeds up to 20 miles per hour!**
"Not. Helping!"
The beetle dive-bombed him, mandibles snapping. Marcus yelped, diving into the mud to avoid the attack. "Come on, fireball, work this time!" He pointed his hand at the beetle and concentrated with all his might. "Fireball!"
This time, a small ball of flame actually shot out from his hand, hitting the beetle square in the thorax. The creature screeched and flailed wildly, buzzing away from Marcus as its wings caught fire.
*Ding!*
**Success! Fireball has critically damaged the Giant Beetle!**
Marcus, still panting, watched as the beetle crash-landed into a turnip patch, its wings now smoking. He cautiously approached, sword ready, but the beetle was already down for the count, twitching its legs weakly in defeat.
"I… I actually did it," Marcus muttered in disbelief.
*Ding!*
**Congratulations! You have defeated a Giant Turnip-Eating Beetle! 15 EXP gained.**
Before Marcus could celebrate, the other beetles—who had been too busy eating turnips to notice the chaos—suddenly buzzed in unison, their wings beating like an ominous drumroll. They were angry.
"Oh, come on! I don't have enough fireballs for this!" Marcus groaned as the rest of the beetles turned their attention toward him, their mandibles clicking menacingly.
With no other option, Marcus sprinted away from the horde, zigzagging through the fields as the beetles chased him, their buzzing growing louder.
*Ding!*
**Tip: You can try using the environment to your advantage!**
Marcus, glancing around frantically, spotted an old, broken-down scarecrow in the middle of the field. He had no idea if this would work, but at this point, he had nothing to lose. Sprinting toward the scarecrow, he grabbed its flimsy wooden post and yanked it free from the ground.
"Come and get it, you overgrown pests!" Marcus shouted, waving the scarecrow like a makeshift club.
The beetles swarmed toward him, and in a moment of sheer desperation, Marcus swung the scarecrow wildly. To his surprise—and mild horror—the scarecrow's hay-filled body smacked into the lead beetle, knocking it off course and into its fellow beetles.
A chain reaction followed. One beetle slammed into another, wings and legs tangling in a mess of buzzing chaos, until the whole swarm crashed into the mud in a heap of flailing limbs.
Marcus stood there, panting and still holding the scarecrow, unsure whether to laugh or cry. "I can't believe that actually worked…"
*Ding!*
**You have defeated 3 additional Giant Turnip-Eating Beetles! Total EXP gained: 45.**
Marcus dropped the scarecrow post, exhausted. "I'm never eating turnips again."
At that moment, Old Man Wilbur hobbled over, his face a mixture of awe and suspicion. "Well, I'll be… you actually did it."
"Barely," Marcus muttered, wiping the mud from his face.
Wilbur grinned, pulling a small pouch from his pocket and handing it to Marcus. "Here's your reward, as promised. 50 coins and a fresh bag of turnip seeds. I reckon you've earned it."
Marcus stared at the bag of turnip seeds with a mixture of horror and disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."
*Ding!*
**Quest Complete! You have received 50 coins and 1 bag of turnip seeds!**
Marcus pocketed the coins and reluctantly took the seeds, wondering if the universe was mocking him.
"Well, thanks, I guess," Marcus said, trying to sound polite.
Wilbur gave him a friendly pat on the back. "Come back if you ever want to grow some turnips. Best crop there is."
"I'll… keep that in mind," Marcus replied, already planning to avoid turnips for the rest of his life.
As he left Wilbur's farm, Marcus couldn't help but feel like he'd taken on a quest that somehow left him with more problems than he'd started with. Still, he had coins in his pocket, a handful of experience points, and a bag of seeds he absolutely didn't want.
*Ding!*
**Level Up! You are now Level 3!**
"Well, that's something, I guess," Marcus muttered, feeling slightly better. "Maybe by the time I hit level 10, I'll be able to deal with squirrels and beetles without nearly dying."
**Keep up the good work, Hero Marcus! You're on your way to greatness!**
Marcus sighed. "Yeah… greatness."
He continued walking back toward the town, already dreading whatever ridiculous quest the system would throw at him next.