The wind whistling through gaps of broken wooden planks, the creaking metal gate hanging loose and the occasional bird roaming about, singing without a care in the world were all the sounds he could hear.
Even the sound of his steady breathing was louder than the empty voices of the lifeless village, of the muted city. And despite all the different colours around them, everything looked plainly grey to him.
"So this is my hometown."
Caelum stood upon the balcony of his childhood house as he gazed at the barren village. Even now, as he focused his eyes on things he thought would have taken his attention, no memories came to him.
There was a resounding silence in his mind much more deafening than even the surroundings. It was hollow, empty of the precious things that should have been adorning the delicate shelves of his life.
It was sad that he could begin remembering his past lives yet none of the past of this life could ever return to him. It was as though his mind was playing a joke, one that he could not find humour in.
And all of it could be easily seen through his eye. The pain of knowing that he had lost something forever was excruciating.
Time lost cannot be found again, but his was even worse. His was the proof of that time. And with that proof gone, did that time even happen?
As Endir said, what Truth can one wield when even one's own name has become a lie?
Therein lay the spark of doubt. Was Caelum Grace just a lie? Was there ever that person as the world knew him to be? Or has always been this version of him playing a trick that he himself believed to be true?
"You know…, I actually did want to come and visit. I just didn't know where this place was. And… I found it difficult to ask others."
He thought about calling the two white wisps slumbering in his wing, but he stopped. They were already finally resting. He could not bring himself to drag them back into all this grief.
And he did not want them to see him like this, devoid of almost all memories of his life. It was truly ironic that the only memory he had of this life was that of piling their corpses over him and Ceres to hide her from the monsters that came pouring out of a gate.
It was not even their smiles, their laughter or even their anger and sadness that he remembered. It was their lifeless, bloody and cold faces staring at him with empty eyes.
It was something he would rather forget, but how could he choose to do that when it was all he had left. Losing that memory was like sealing away his entire life, reducing to him to just another body of someone else.
Yes, they were all One and the same, but that did not mean they had no individuality, no lives of their own, no minds to make their own choices. If he became just a husk, then would he even still be Caelum, the current incarnation of Grace?
He did not need to ask them. He knew what they would say because it was his own answer as well.
No, he would not. Change is inevitable, but being consumed entirely is not the same as changing. There is a reason why they end their cycles and start a new one. After all, if none of it mattered, then what was the point of not continuing and finishing everything in a single cycle?
And at this point, Caelum grasped onto something that his brooding and depressed mind was not even looking for. It was a simple Truth that perhaps no one could understand, but him because of how damaged his cycle was.
Nothing lasts forever, not even Eternity.
And as he thought this, he felt something welling up within him. It was overly familiar to him now, but it was also somewhat different. Perhaps it was a difference of depth that he had not reached before.
[Your divinity has greatly risen.]
Indeed, Divinity. He had stumbled upon a Truth that was difficult for practically everyone to fathom. After all, what was Eternity if not everlasting? For him to claim otherwise was nothing but sheer foolishness. But it was True nonetheless. Existence itself acknowledged it.
"Where's Ceres?"
"She went back to Aegon. Two days after you fainted, Halo found us and brought us here. Then Ceres went back with them. I told them we'll stay here for now because I didn't want to move you too much."
"They came here? How?"
Caelum was surprised that Halo managed to find them. Considering the ruin that Earth was left in after the Black Immolation, he would not be surprised if they were forced back into the stone age.
For them to be able to find a means to travel such a distance so quickly in just a matter of days only shows the terrifying prowess of Halo.
"Don't underestimate them. Although most things have been lost when you broke down, I'm certain there were quite a few artefacts and devices that survived. And that's enough for Halo to rebuild. They've already reestablished communications over most of Earth with the help of the GA."
Erta spoke proudly as though she was the one who made such an accomplishment. And it was, in fact, thanks to her that such a feat was even possible.
If not for Erta sharing her knowledge with Halo's Research and Development Division, they would not have the means to do anything and the world would indeed have returned to the stone age just as Caelum had thought.
How ironic that the one who spared the world from such a fate was the wife of the very man who threatened to bury them all.
Caelum was relieved that he would not have to start from scratch because he honestly did not know how he would go about rebuilding the world. He sighed lightly as he took one last glance at the village before turning to Erta.
"Let's go back too."
"Already? Don't you want to see your hometown more?"
"I can't. Even as I look at it now…, I don't recognise even a single inch of it. I'll come again when I've recovered some of my memories about it."
"Okay. Then I'll be expecting a tour."
Seeing the sweet smile on her face, Caelum could not hold himself back.
It had been quite a while, but her soft lips felt just as heavenly as the first time they had kissed. He was extremely grateful to have her even now, so much so that he could hardly put it into words. Fortunately, Erta understood his message very clearly even with just that.
Their lips remained locked together in an intimate battle. Their breaths were quickly becoming hurried as they gasped for more in between. It has truly been quite a while for them both.
With all the matters they had to deal with recently even before the tribulation began, they had no time to be alone and just enjoy each other's warmth.
Their longing for each other was spilling out along with all the sentiments and emotions that transcended the bounds of life and death.
They indulged in it.
They drowned in it.
And in that house which he had no memory of, they stayed for one more day to make new memories.
~~~
The clouds were long and dark. They dragged the light away before it could even touch the unfortunate land.
Though the sun rose high in the sky, not a shred of its magnificence could reach the mournful eyes.
They were defeated, dragging their lifeless bodies through the ageless mud that has yet to dry.
They were hopeful, and yet their powerless cheers only sounded like the dying moans of the beasts in the wild. They were no different now, it seems.
Like the beasts they once thought beneath them, their only wish was for the bounty of the skies.
The abundance long lost still remained fresh in their minds. And yet the golden fields they longed to see remained only brown and wet.
There were clouds, but water alone could do nothing to save them now.
They have been drowning in its overindulgence. They have been suffocating from its misplaced sorrow. The cattle they reared had long gone and the grains they saved rotted.
They have lost.
Even the mud they hoped to bake under the heat of the sun could only remain wet from the ever pouring rain.
The skies cried the tears they could no longer muster. Each drop was like a hammer sealing them in a watery grave.
It was loud, inconsiderate toward even their final whimpers.
It was loud, uncaring for even their last slumber.
The pain in their bellies still ravaged them to the end for it was not abstinence, but deprivation.
The worst pain of it all was the helpless yearning for what may never come. Even to the end, they only wished to see the brightness of the sun. They only wanted to feel the warmth of its light.
This was not hunger, but starvation.