He opened his eyes as a teardrop streaked down the side of his temple. That was about as much as he was willing to shed. His heart still beat, but it was like a slaw crippling crawl.
It was not warmth that spread from within, but a frigidity that had come from somewhere deeper beyond even his own current understanding.
He sat up and walked across the familiar room toward the tall windows. He stared at the giant tree looming over the world as though to tell them all how inconsequential they were.
This was the first time he was actually looking at the Imaginary Tree ever since that day in Reignbow Park. But unlike back then when his resolve to play his part to perfection was as strong as a mountain of steel, this time, his gaze shone with utter indifference.
The change was so jarring that even the Imaginary Tree from afar seemed to shiver ever so slightly in shock.
"Show me my aspects."
His words were soft and clear, yet even Ciel, who did not feel emotions the way that humans do, could only obey her father's command silently. It was as though he was talking not to his own daughter, but to a machine that was obligated to serve its creator and master. For the first time, Ciel felt sad.
{[Name: Caelum Grace]
[Race: Human]
[Stigmata: Imaginary Tree]
[Potential: True Avatar Successor (Trial in progress)]
[Titles: Pillar of Grace | Angel of Slaughter | The Once and Future King | Lord of Eden]
[Aspects: #### | Gluttony | Lust | Ancestor of Blood | Life Covenant | Eternal Flame | Dragon Heart | Perpetual Night]
[Status: Stigmata sealed (3 out of 10 seals broken)
>Wing of Serenity
>Wing of Chaos
>Wing of Reason]}
Caelum stared at it, but did not seem to react. Even as his gaze landed on 'Ancestor of Blood', he just passed it by like any of the others. To him, it was only natural for all life and blood to heed his call. He could not even believe that he had spent a long time not wielding such authority.
When he realised that there were no other changes, he let his profile disappear from his vision as he once again stared at the Imaginary Tree.
His sentiments toward it were once that of resentment and gratitude. He remembered it clearly. It was like a mark that he himself had scorched onto his very flesh, a brand that now seemed laughable. He could only scoff at his old self for it.
Resentment?
Did he have the right to resent the Imaginary Tree for awakening his power even if it did make him suffer?
Gratitude?
Did he owe such a thing to the Imaginary Tree who only did what it needed for its own survival?
No. Since the Imaginary Tree was using him as a tool, then he too would use the Imaginary Tree toward his own ends, whatever they may now be.
The illusion he saw while healing Reynor, and the dream he saw in his sleep…
Both were real. Both were True.
And although he did not really understand what was happening in them, he could feel a new purpose bubbling up from within him. No…
It was wrong to say it is new because it most definitely was not. It is as ancient as ancient could be. Something that sprouted, not from his heart, but from his very soul.
He knew not what that purpose was exactly, but he knew that what he had been doing so far was not far from what he should be doing. It was just that now, he was more focused. And he would no longer waste time caring for a world who could not even be bothered to save itself.
His own words echoed in his head. His purpose lies beyond the war. Though the words were the same, the implications could not be any further apart.
Then he felt a pair of arms tightening around him in an embrace. Their warmth spread to the depths of his being seemingly melting the ice that had frosted over almost everything that he was. And for a moment, it seemed to succeed only to be stopped when it reached the frozen core.
Everything else could be melted, that Caelum would allow. But not this. Not the very thing that he himself did not dare tread upon just yet.
He turned around and embraced Erta. She was sobbing silently, trembling in his touch. He knew it was his fault. From the moment he woke up from his dream, he could not be bothered to even put up his usual mental defences from their connection.
At this point, he truly did not care whether she was privy to any and all of his thoughts. In fact, it did not matter if the entire world knew of his thoughts. Because none of them would be able to change anything.
In the end, no matter what anyone says, he is and will always be alone. Fighting a war from which there was no return, a war that he alone could fight.
"Stop it! You're not alone, Cal!"
He looked at the face of his furious wife. For the first time since he has known her, she truly was angry. And she was not angry at anyone else, but at Caelum himself.
He could only look at her with pity. She tied her life to the very man who was meant to be the end of everything. She practically threw her life away.
If only she knew that the power he wielded did not come from righteousness…. If only she knew that the blood he commanded carried not only the essence of all life but the very curse he was born to bear, then she never would have to suffer as he does.
A sharp sound echoed in the room as a sting came from Caelum's left cheek. He could taste a hint of blood within his mouth that told him all he needed to know. He was slapped so hard that he was actually bleeding. Yet instead of the usual iron, it only tasted bitter.
Erta had already left his embrace, glaring at him in a furious shade of red. Her breathing hitched as she tried desperately to stop her tears from flowing.
She looked at Caelum with emotions he never saw in her before, emotions that she never allowed Caelum to see. There was the sorrow she always felt as she watched him. There was the guilt she always bore since meeting Ceres for the first time.
And then there was hatred. No, it was something much more than that, something that Caelum himself was intimately familiar with.
It was resentment.
And just like Caelum, Erta no longer bothered hiding her thoughts and emotions through their connection anymore so he immediately realised that unlike the other two, this was the first time Erta had felt resentment in her entire life.
Not even the indifference of her own mother had stirred her to feel such resentment. Because she never expected anything from her mother, she never had to suffer. But Caelum was different.
Caelum was and will forever be her entire world. Where he goes is where she will be. What he does is what she will support to the best of her abilities. And just as he was willing to sacrifice himself for her, she will forever be willing to sacrifice everything for him. And that was why she felt so hurt… so utterly betrayed that he would even think such things.
"You have no right to pity me for standing beside the man I love. You have no right to take away the satisfaction I feel for carrying your burden with you. And you have no right to wish that I never loved you. You can hate yourself for all eternity, but don't you dare stop me from loving you. I am your wife. Don't you dare forget that."
The tears spilled out. They did not know why it suddenly did so because neither of them were even aware that he had been holding it back all this time. If he was consciously doing so, the Life Covenant would have made it known even to Erta.
Caelum was truly surprised. His face remained as neutral as before and yet the flow of tears could not care any less for his indifference. And then he realised why he was crying.
The words that Erta said, this was the first time he had ever heard them. But he knew that the sentiment was not new at all.
He had always felt it ever since he met Erta… but especially, even long before.
Erta drew closer once again as Caelum finally succumbed to his tears. His back hunched as he buried his face on his wife's chest. Erta embraced him even tighter than before, her smile now more at ease than ever.
"I told you. You are not alone. I will never let you be alone."