Bali Island, July 2016.
I am sitting on a snow-white sandy beach, watching the waves of azure water. The wind brushes my face, playing with my black, loose hair. There is no crowd around me. There is only me and a boy sitting a few meters away, resting his chin on his knees, looking at a single point in front of him.
As I watch him for a long time, I notice that he is sad. His depressed face screams for help, although his mouth is silent.
I embrace legs and put my cheek on knee, not taking my eyes off him. I smile as his intense red hair glistens in the sunlight, and I have to admit that he looks good in this color. They match perfectly with his dark complexion and brown eyes.
He is handsome and I can't focus my attention on any other point. I have to look at him, especially when he improves the blue bandana that is an accessory to his fashionable hairstyle. His movements are seductive, even though he doesn't do it on purpose. It is a habit of his, especially as he licks his lips every now and then.
At first glance, I find him intriguing. He has something about him that makes me feel like getting to know him. I'm just waiting for the moment when he senses that I'm looking at him and looks at me. If he doesn't look away, then I will be motivated to approach him. I want to make sure that I also interest him.
I bite my nail, which is painted a glaring color. I wait for him to react.
- Will you look at me like this for a long time? It's annoying," he speaks loudly, even though so far he has not honored me with a glance.
- How can you be sure that I am looking at you? The island is huge, and I'm interested in a point right next to you.
The boy finally pays attention to me. He watches me for a long moment, trailing his eyes over my body, as I'm wearing a two-piece outfit in blue and a black lace bedspread that doesn't cover anything, but is just a nice accessory.
He curves his lips in an arrogant smile.
- Your body betrays that you are interested in me. From this distance I can see how hard your heart beats at the sight of me.
I like it. It's direct, and that's what attracts me most.
- My body must also seem interesting to you, since you carefully mirror it with your eyes," I reply, leaning with my hands on the sand. I lift my face to the sky and look at him obliquely.
- Is there a straight man who would look away from such a body?
I have no doubt that he is beginning to flirt with me. Clearly I have caught his eye. Is there anything better than mutual attraction? I don't have the hookup wherewithal to seduce everyone, but once one catches my eye, I'm not going to let go until I get him.
I pick myself up from the sand and walk slowly toward him, combing my hair over one shoulder. He is interested in me. I can see it in his eyes as I walk closer and squat on bended knees.
- How did you know I spoke English?
- I took a chance. If you didn't understand me, I would have pounced on you.
I raise an eyebrow.
- Are you here on vacation?
I see his lip tremble, but finally he lifts the corners of his mouth upward.
- I never vacation, but let's just say I'm relaxing at the moment. - I play with my fingers in the sand, unable to take my eyes off him. - You look young, so I shoot that you are on vacation with your parents?
He is amazing. I'm starting to lose my head for him, even though I don't know him at all.
- I'm seventeen years old. My parents would tear my hair out if I flew to the island alone. And so I cause them some problems every day. - He is amused by my words. - And you? Are you here alone?
- I am an adult. My father is a lawyer. I always get what I want, that's why I came on vacation alone.
- Are you bragging now? - I squint my eyes, pretending to be indignant. - You're a boy, so it's normal to have more freedom.
I watch his tongue as he licks his lips again. I feel like kissing him, even though I don't even know his name.
Flirting with a stranger on the beach seems pretty damn romantic to me.
- I think it doesn't depend on gender, but on the upbringing of the parents. Yours apparently care a lot about you, while mine think I can do whatever I want. I never got any prohibitions from them. They were always busy with themselves and their own pleasures.
- Do you mean money?
- Yes, money," he replies snottily. He lowers his gaze and watches the sand for a long moment.
- They say that money does not give happiness. I think it's true...
- I will not agree," he interrupts me. - If not money, then what else will give you happiness? Love? - The boy snorts under his breath. - Love will not feed you.
- And yet many poor people are happy because they have a loving family. How is it with the wealthy? Consider your life. You say that your parents only count money and don't care what you do. Are you happy?
The boy twists his lips in a slight smile.
- And haven't you thought about the fact that in homes where there is poverty it's even worse than for the rich? I don't mean average families, where actually everyone takes care of themselves and can afford basic expenses. - I have a feeling that for a moment he is piercing me with a chastising gaze. - There are thousands of families where lack of money leads to tragedy. Consider also pathological families where only the children suffer.
The first thought that comes to my mind is: he has a big heart and that's why he defends his rationale so fiercely about the damage that lack of money causes.
On the one hand, I should agree with him.
He is right.
- I won't deny it. I can see that this has moved you a lot.
He looks confused.
- I just always get carried away when I think about how other people suffer. I didn't mean to jump on you.
- Bottom line. It shows how big your heart is. - He tears his gaze away from the water and moves it to my face. He looks into my eyes, as if he doesn't believe that I actually said that.
- A few words spoken by me cannot prove how good my heart is. You are wrong. You don't know me at all. Just now you sat down with me. You don't even know my name.
- And will you tell me?
- I prefer to remain anonymous. - His laughter is so fantastic that it sounds more beautiful than the sound of the sea.
I think I'm crazy about him. What is happening to me? I never behave like this. Did he cast some kind of spell?
- Is your name some big secret? - I ask, pulling down my eyebrows.
- I just like to make new friends during the vacations without knowing the person's name.
- Is it only about women, or about all people in general?
- I mean women who catch my eye.
I sit sideways, leaning with one hand on the sand. I bravely look him in the eyes, hoping that I will be able to make him forget about me when he returns from the island, because I will undoubtedly not let him just walk away.
- Does talking to me when you don't know my name seem more exciting to you?
- I don't know... let's find out this evening. If you're still interested in me, I'll be waiting for you at twenty-two, lying on that hammock over there. - He points to my place with his hand, then rises from the sand. He shrugs off his shorts and smiles flirtatiously. - You're underage, so I'll find you some drinks.
I watch him as he heads toward the hotel. I feel like running after him and forcing him to accompany me all day, but with my behavior I've already ruined everything many times.
I lie down on the sand; I wriggle my arms and legs, trying to get all the excitement out of me. I hope he doesn't set me up in the evening, because I won't rest until I find him and, by the way, kill him for making my heart beat faster.
*
It's ten minutes past two o'clock, and I'm lying on the hammock, waiting for him at the agreed place. Usually I'm not a naive idiot, and in my mind I curse anyone who taunts me, but this time I feel a strange prickling in my heart as I begin to realize that the stranger boy from the beach has apparently set me up.
What does he have in him that turned my head so badly?
Without my parents' permission, I snuck out of my hotel room just to meet him, and he decided to pester me? If my father looks in to see if I am obediently lying in bed, I will be dead tomorrow morning.
He already can't stand my antics anyway. He thinks I should grow up.
- I am one hundred percent sure that in your mind you cursed me in a rather cruel way. Were you sure I wouldn't come again?
I lift my face and with wide-open eyes look at the fiery-haired boy who is heading toward me with two blue drinks in his hands. While he hands me one of them, I fulminate him with my eyes.
- Did you put me to the test?
- I wanted an easy way to see how much you cared about knowing me. I was late, and yet you waited. I think it's worth your time.
I take a sip of blue liquor and feel it burning in my throat.
- You didn't sprinkle any drug in there?
- I didn't have to. I think I'm addictive enough. You don't know me, and yet you've already lost your head for me.
I really like him! I like this attitude of his.
- You go on vacation alone, solely to relax and make new friends, which is only a temporary adventure for you? - The boy sets up a chair by the hammock and sits down on it.
It seems to me that a shadow of a grimace runs across his face, but I could be wrong. After all, it's already dark, and the hotel light somehow falls on this place.
- I wish my life was so beautiful.
- Hm - I sip my drink through a straw, looking at him uncomprehendingly. - What do you mean?
- That I am quite a complicated person, and you? Why don't you tell me something about yourself?
I smile, because this is a good sign that he is interested in me.
I start telling him about myself. I talk about all kinds of passions, pranks at school that I continually commit, a friend who is like my right hand. I don't even notice the moment when we find common ground and talk to each other as if we've known each other for many years, especially when we add a dash of quirky humor.
I laugh out loud when the boy tells me about a woman who ran out of the woods, right under the car he was driving. There would have been nothing strange about it, if it weren't for the fact that she wasn't wearing any clothes and jumped in front of his hood, flinging her rather large breasts.
As it turned out later, the woman had escaped from a psychiatric hospital nearby there.
- You must have had a lot of fun.
- Fun? Come on. This grandmother was about sixty years old. It was a traumatic experience.
I refill my drink and look into the distance, as a gusty wind has picked up. Somewhere in the distance it is thundering, a storm is coming, and the hands of the watch show the hour of twenty-four.
- I am so comfortable talking with you, I can sit with you under the open sky, even during the storm.
- I noticed that you are brave, but I think that spending time in such conditions is not pleasant," he replies in an amused voice.
- So will we meet again tomorrow?
I get the impression that the sparkle in his eye is fading.
- I have a return flight in the morning.
- So I won't let you get away from me now! - The boy looks surprised when I grab his hand. I may never see him again, so I forcefully try to keep him with me. - Your appearance has made me crazy about you in a few hours, which is completely unlike me.
Probably now he sees in front of him a crazy person who got obsessed with him, but my heart aches at the thought that if he leaves now there is a possibility that I will never see him again. What should I do when he has set my heart on fire in such a short time?
I am desperate.
Large drops of rain are falling from the sky, I rise from the hammock and throw my arms around his shoulders, pressing my lips to his lips.
The boy moves away slightly and remains silent, staring at me. Streams of rain run down our faces, he touches my cool cheek. He gently pushes back with his hand - already wet from the rain - the hair that covers my green eyes.
- Do you promise to speak to me when you return? - I ask, mesmerized by his gaze.
- I promise," he replies, greedily lapping at my lips. His lips are warm and his kiss is hot. Hormones are bubbling up in me at a dizzying pace, and I think it's all over too quickly when he unexpectedly pulls away from me.
A powerful thunder sounds above us; I open my eyes and watch his face in the pouring rain. He is beautiful. Unimaginably beautiful as his wet hair sticks to his face, and his white T-shirt allows me to see his trained abdominal muscles.
For a moment I think he is an illusion. An illusion that will disappear in a moment and never appear in my life again.
At that moment I see him in the most beautiful colors, not knowing how dark a secret he hides, and thus I forget the most important rule: never trust a stranger!
I know nothing about him, and yet he caused my heart to beat harder. But the worst thing is that in the future he will brutally trample it with his shoe, and as if that were not enough, he will kidnap me into the vortex of his dark and dangerous secrets.
And with that, I will only taste true madness at the age of eighteen.